I got kicked out of Barns and Nobles CLIO i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Wool»: some ambien and I TRIPPED out... i went into my mom' s room to say
goodnight and i don' t remember anything... she said that i got really pissed at her
because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting othertimes, then
I started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7
people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn' t that hurt?" and i said "no we' re
sitting in a bowl'' and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering
take out from heaven.
the red head has a til‘
just because there' s a goalie doesn' t mean u can' t score
hey this is lauren, i have to type fockon because he' s convinced the tongs he' s
holding are his real hands
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Favorite i 4
stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned on cause his students
are taking a test
First off: I' m drunk: so fuck you. Second: you weren' t a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3
in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
o shit let me call u a hamburger in my pocket
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor.
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Favorite 3. 1’
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don' t know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Favorite ".ii.'. t
a girliest showed up to class in a up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over
slept. I guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was
sleeping without a shirt or bra.