Welcome to Funnyjunk. You' re ours now. Here' s
what you can expect.
You' ll stay for a while, see funny pictures, laugh a
bit, and see a few odd things. You' ll bookmark the
place for further amusement. This is where it all
begins.
Before too long, you' ll find yourself checking
Funnyunk in increased frequencies. First it' ll happen
occasionally during the week. Then once every say
or so. Then more frequently. You' ll find yourself
checking on it twice a day. Three times. Once per
hour. Before you know it, you' ll be browsing it for
hours at a time.
Slowly, your life will take a buckwheat to Funnyjunk.
You' ll find yourself forgetting to call people. You' ll
be late for work because you' ll be laughing at
pictures. Slowly, your life will decline into a mindless
chaos.
As Funnyjunk slowly consume your mind, your
humor will be replaced with our humor. You' ll
become glued to Funnyunk. It' ll be the only place
you feel accepted. And then someday down the
road, you' ll realize what has happened to you. Your
loved ones will have left you. You' ll be alone.
Unemployed. Struggling to survive. And worst of all,
you' ll be hooked. You won' t be able to fight it,
because we will be all you know, and all you
remember. You' ll slowly dissolve into madness, or
mindless stupidity. Whichever comes first. And then,
one day, you will snap, and all remains of your
former self will be crushed under our weight.
Welcome, my friend. Welcome, my brother.
Welcome to your new home.
Welcome to Funnyjunk.
...
