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Whenever I get a package of plain M& Ms, I
make it my duty to continue the strength and
robustness of the candy as a species. To this
end, I hold duels-
Taking two candies between my thumb and
forefinger, I apply pressure. squeezing them
together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior
one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have that, in general, the brown and red Afa. ffs are tougher. and the newer bffe
ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the the as a race cannot
survive long in the intense theater of that is the modem candy and
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a camedy that is misshapen. er pointier, er flatter than the
rest- Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but nevery rare occasions it gives
the candy extra strength. In this way. the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When Breach the end of the pack, I are left with ene MAM, the strongest of the herd.
Since it wouid make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and
send it to M& M Mei, A Division Mars, Inc, Hackettstown, NJ 17840- I 503
LISA, along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M& M for breeding purposes"
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a cencen for afree 1/ 2 pound bag
of plain M& Nis. I consider this " grant money? I have set aside the weekend for a grand
From a of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.