Tale at Walmart
Dear Mrs. Denney,
Over the past six months, your
husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behaviour and may be
forced to ban both of you from the
store, Our complaints against Mr.
Denney are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms
and randomly put them in people' s
carts when they weren' t looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in
to go off at
July T, Made a trail of tomato juice on
the floor leading to the women' s
July 19: Walked up to an employee am
told her in an official voice, "Code Sin
Get on it right away."
Code 3 herp
August 4: Went to the Service Desk
and tried to put a bag of M& M' s on
September IA: Moved a "CAUTION -
WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
September Ir, Set up a tent in the
camping department and told other
shoppers he' d invite them in if they
would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.
September 23: When a clerk asked if
they could help him he began crying
and screamed, "Why can' t you people
just leave me alone?"
October A: Looked right into the
security camera and used it as a mirror
while he picked his nose.
November IO: While handling guns in
the hunting department, he asked the
clerk where the antidepressants were.
December S: Darted around the store
suspiciously while loudly humming the
Mission Impossible'' theme.
December ti: in the auto department,
he practiced his "Madonna look" by
using different sizes of funnels.
December lil: Hid in a clothing rack
and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK MEI"
December 21: When an announcement
came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fatal position and screamed
OH ND! ' S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
December 23: Went into a fitting
room, shut the door, waited awhile,
and then yelled very loudly, "Hey!
There' s no toilet paper in here!"
Once again we cannot tolerate this
behaviour in our store.