Whenever I get a package of plain M& Ms, Imake it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To
this end, I hold M& M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until
one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," andi eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
Ihave found that, in general, the brown and red M& Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. Ihave
hypothesized that the blue M& Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and
C) ocasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. this proves to be a weakness, but on very
rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this wav, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one Mm, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, Ihack it neatly in
an envelope and send it to:
M& M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.
along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M& M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/ 2 pound bag of plain M& Ms. I consider this "grant money." Ihave set aside the
weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.