Wrong Person to Mug
If someone were to ask you who the last person anyone should ever dare to
mug is, what name would be your answer? I' m betting on 80% or better of
respondents answering, "Chuck Norris."
Amazingly, astoundingly, two idiots managed to try just that. It happened
in 1994. Norris mentions this whole thing in his autobiography, "Against All
Odds." And, by his testimony, this is what happened. Honest to God, it really
In 1994, right at the beginning of his run as Walker, Texas Ranger, Norris
was, and still is, living in Dallas, Texas, where the show was filmed. One day
he was walking down the street by himself, no entourage, no fans following
him, no bodyguards, not even his wife. He turned a commercial block in the
downtown skyscraper area and saw two men a little bigger than he coming
straight for him from the other end of the block.
They were staring right at him, and he figured they wanted autographs, which
he enjoys signing. So he walked up to them and stopped with a smile,
whereupon they stood in front of him, whipped out a couple of large
pocketknives, and one of them demanded, "Give me your wallet, Chuck! Give
Norris actually opened his mouth wide and then asked, "Are you insane!?"
No! We know who you are! And we know you got a lot of money! Now give it
up, or you’ re dead!"
Now before we go further, let us just go over a few of the particulars. All jokes
aside, Chuck Norris truly does have the following black belts, sst degree in
Brazilian furubatsu, tth Degree Grandmaster in Tae Kwon Do, tth degree in Jed
Kune Do under Bruce Lee and Leek best student, Dan , 10th degree in
Shito Ryu Karate, 10th degree in Tang Soo Do, 11th degree in Chun Kuk Do.
Granted, the last art is his own concoction, a hybrid of all the best moves he
has learned over the years, all blended for both and competition,
and you are only allowed a 10th degree or better in anything when you found
your own dojo. But suffice to say, the muggers didn' t even use guns. From a
hundred feet away. They used knives within arm' s reach. What happened
next was rather .
The police arrived about 4 minutes later, 3 officers in two cars, and were
greeted by the scene of two men with SEVERELY broken arms (the bones had
gone through the skin) sitting on the curb, two bloody knives in the gutter, and
Chuck Norris, the Almighty Himself, leaning against the wall, wearing his
beard, jeans, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. ...he shrugged at them. The
police started laughing so hard that they bent over, holding their sides, unable
to put the handcuffs on the muggers. One of them managed to ask, “Did you
not know who he was?!"
One of them said, "Yeah, we knew who he was! We figured all that crap on TV