THE BRO CODE
21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her
ugly, whiny, loser friend of
hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have
ample time to warn your
friend to prepare his excuse about joining the
22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or ass peril are
you permitted to kick another member of the male
species in the testicles.
23. Unless you' re in prison, never fight naked. This
includes men who aren' t wearing
shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or
too drunk to defend himself,
you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the
past 24 hours your friends
actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs
is a good ass weepin", in
which case you may refrain from getting involved and
stand back and enjoy.
24. Friends don' t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case
25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out
of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However,
house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is
left up to the owner of the seat.
26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun
applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object,
or it is at a reasonable time.
27. When picking players for sports teams it is
permissible to skip over your buddy
in favor of better athletes- as long as you don' t let him
be the last sorry son of a
bitch standing on the sideline.
28. If you ever compliment a guy' s six pack, you better
be talking about his choice of beverage.
29. Never join your girlfriend in raging on a buddy of
yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your
30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man
while lifting weights:
Yeah, baby, push it!"
Come on, give me one more, harder!"
Another set and we can hit the showers"
Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?"
You guys are awesome