Been seeing a lot of D&D posts, so I thought I'd join in on the fun. I have DM'd here and there and thought I'd recount a session where the players just weren't having good luck.
>World is homebrew, lots of stuff shamelessly stolen from 3.5/4th edition D&D
>Party consists of werewalrus(wererus) monk, human mage, dragonborn ranger, and a gnome paladin.
>Normal startup in a jail, party escapes and strikes out onto the road.
>Pass by an orc shaman on the road
>Wererus monk slaughters her before she can say a sentence
>He drinks her blood
>Me: Just do it.
>rolls a 1. You contract aids. -2 to charisma.
>he's butthurt, but overall everyone had a good laugh.
>Fast forward past a bugbear baby being murdered to the next town.
>Dragonborn ranger wants a bigger crossbow, one that would fit his size better
>He only has 20g
>Ranger: What kind of work is there around here?
>Me: You're not too sure, none of you have visited this town. You can look around if you want.
>Ranger: Okay I want to look for work, rolls a 1.
>Me: You come into a creepy alleyway with a hole in the side of a building, it's uses are obvious because of the writing on the wall.
>Ranger: What is it?
>Me: A gloryhole. 100g an hour.
>After some complaining, butthurt, and 6 hours later he haggles for a better crossbow.
>Wererus is trying to cure his aids.
>Goes to a witchdoctor
>Witchdoctor has a potion for 10g that will cure any disease.
>Buys it without question and has the whole party drink it in case they have diseases.
>Everyone passes out from the drug and when they wake up, they're now slaves in a town over.
>Dragonborn is angry cause he sucked 6 hours worth of dicks to lose his new crossbow.
I wasn't trying to be a dick, but they kept rolling low so much and the witchdoctor thing was already planned. To be honest I was chuckling that entire sessions. DM smugness is a wonderful thing.