As The Shrew entered the dank basement, he realized that there was a good chance he would die before the meeting was over. A noise-proof cellar with a schizo cowboy, a Boomer, a damned cannibal, a ruined politician, and god knows who the other guys were. It was a secret name deal too, so no-one could eat on anyone, besides Marv the politician and Melvin. The Boomer sat at the end of a rotted table and the others followed. The Shrew squirmed in his seat a little, waiting for the Boomer to speak. The Boomer started, "I'd like everyone to meet our new member, The Shrew. Everyone introduce yourselves."
A murmur of greetings and names followed. The Shrew caught a handful. Cowboy Kim. The Boomer was called Streetlight. Blind Mouse, Vampire Bat. Mister Malachite was the politician with the glassy green skin. Whipper Snapper, little Melvin, brother of Marv. Bleach Boy and Bleachy. Heartache.
Streetlight got up out of his chair and moved to the whiteboard in the corner. He started droning on about a Nighthawk, a plan, a great revenge, broken sidekicks. It was a bunch of nothing to The Shrew. He couldn't see the board with the poor lighting, and couldn't listen with the damn pressure around him. Cowboy Kim wanted to kill him, The Shrew was sure of it. Kim twisted his knife into the rotting wood, staring into his soul with hate and pain and snakes and snails. He wore a oversized cowboy hat with a little Vietnamese flag pinned on it rested on Kim's head, accompanied with bright pink Nerf pistols holstered at his side and knee high cowboy boots. The Shrew would kill himself if he were to be killed by that. He looked over to the cannibal, Vampire Bat. She might've been worse than Kim. She could pick The Shrew from the ground, wrap him up with her wings, suck his blood, drain him completely. Might've been right up his alley if it weren't for all the blood. Bleach Boy and Bleachy seemed like the least murdery people there, just a punk and a kid. The Shrew had actually seen this guy on the news, he went through a black neighborhood and turned everyone white. The politician got his skin in an ancient weapon factory accident. Long story short, he made a little holy water and swords factory so Heartache could have some good gear, demons attacked, now he's a walking holy relic. And most of his family got blown up by the happy fat **** that is Boney Maroney. Melvin developed an obsession with whips and punishment. Kinky. Blind Mouse was a blind albino with abs and super senses and ****. She was like him, for her powers at Oak Ridge. Heartache was Knoxville's first hero. Neat origin too. Guy gets cucked by succubus, says "never again", becomes demon slayer. Legend has it that his dark red suit is never washed, demon blood blends in with it. Yuck. Last was Streetlight, the product of a midlife crisis. He just whacks ******* with a flashlight. One flashlight.
Streetlight finished droning on about birds and Cambodia and babies and turned to The Shrew. "Any questions?"
"Nah," he said, "I got it."
I'll probably make a second part