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Throne: The American
Invasion {Kindle Edition]
by Michael Wood
Thomas squatted by the front door. Yellow light poured in through the void between the door bottom
t*. s. hatr. T and the hallway floor. His hairy knuckles tore three chips of peeling white paint from the doorframe as he
grasped the paper. He took three steps back and sat on his toilet. A small whistle sounded from the top of the
liie.. toilet. Thomas spread his legs as a can of government approved breakfast foods floated up through the toilet
To basin. The can was about six inches in height and three inches diameter. The label depicted an obese sassy
Kindle _ black female Jesus lactating entire corncobs with one disgusting mottled breast and dark yellow butter with
Send this sample to your Kindle the other.
H _ "Corn shell cakes again?" Thomas mumbled as he lifted the can from the stinking water.
Book sections it
Cover Thomas sniffed his allotted rations and grimaced before tossing the can over his shoulder. It landed on
Beginning a pile on the other side of his bed. The twice folded piece of paper in Thomas' s hand felt oddly heavy. Thomas
wiped his left hand on his pants leg before unfolding the paper.
Misat me at the Hillary Clinton rally today at noon. I have something very important to show yon,"
Thomas read aloud. "Something important, what could that mean? How did they know I could read and why
didn' t they sign their name?" he wondered.
As if on cue, Hillary Clinton appeared on Thomas' entertainment square. She held a book in one hand
and lit match in the other. The title of the book read "Free thought,” A nasally voice read the title aloud as
literacy was against the law. Cold orange light struck Thomas' cheek as he contemplated his decision. The
burning novel slowly filled the screen and the orange flames faded into a pattern of red white and blue. Images
of obese women rolling naked in hamburgers covered the screen as a nasally voice detailed Axillary' s rise to
president elect. Thomas did his best to look away as the news story began to play.
As we all know, Axillary' s husband Bill spent four of the last five years of his life bribing, I mean,
appealing to congress to give him a third term as president. Following his "settles:), Bill perished during a five
day long bubble bath. He entered the bath with two meatball hoagies, a bottle of wine, and a mixtape of his
favorite saxophone solos. After consuming the first hoagie, he was far too full of freedom to exit the tub. Hillary
found him almost immediately. Had she desired to do so, she could have saved the president in an instant. She
ignored the pleas he made between bites of the second hoagie, took a long draught from the wine, and enacted
other plans. Hillary brought a proposal to congress and congress voted to create a panel to discuss whether or
not pulling the president from the tub was fiscally responsible. His presence in the tub, some argued, raised the
tubs water efficiency level and hundreds of Big Macs remained uneaten in his absence. That panel then went
through several votes as how best to react to the president' s plight, how funds should be raised to enact their
plan, and who' s turn it was to pay for lunch. Of course, it was the taxpayer' s turn to pay every time. The
president died of starvation on the fifth day of deliberations. He lost enough weight to leave the tub on the third
day, but his fingers were pruney and he could not hold a grip on his porcelain casket. Other persons present
could have helped him but most thought it would be gay to touch a naked man while a mixtape of jazz music
played. Of course, as we all know, one out of every five white males are mandated to be gay, castrated, or fans of
soft jazz music by law but all present were either minorities or had waivers."
Following the president' s death, a panel of four persons chosen via the top internet search engine
queries has shared the power of presidency. After eliminating all porn stars, snuff film stars, libertarians, and
Dennis Kucinich that panel included a white rapper, a young girl with a terminal illness, a very cute kitten, and
the ghost of Ronald Reagan. The white rapper "Willy Welfare” was the most inessential of the group. He
immediately pushed forward legislation for free food delivered via the toilet. As he put it, ‘All my homeys need is
love, respect, honor, free food and a place to shit.' Terminally ill Rebecca, as she often called herself, was the
second most influential of the group. She called for mandatory tea parties with the very cute kitten each day in
the building formerly known as the white house. Terminally Ill Rebecca passed no other legislation during her
term in office. When questioned on her stances of social issues, she often remarked, ll am dying. I am a precious
little girl and I am going to die. Leave me alone you heartless cunt.’ Ronald Reagan' s ghost rarely appeared in
public. Often, only the sound of trickling economics gave hint to his presence. Despite his constant absence, he
somehow managed to raise taxes seven thousand percent on the middle class."
Fortunatly, at that point in American history, the middle class was comprised entirely of a balding
Caucasian man named Henry Shackleford. The remaining portion ofthe population was either part on the multi
trillionaire one percent, a member of the non working class, sold to China as cheap cat food filler, or used as
target practice for the military. When Henry heard the news, he was noted as saying, “Well golly gosh gee. I
mean, I have worked hard my entire life to earn my money. But I guess kids will be kids. What the hey. I mean,
those college kids and minorities need money too right. Asking them to work would be awfully racist of me. I
saw a government movie about racism once and they told me it is a terrible thing.' The government approved
reporter then rubbed Henry’ s belly and told him he was a very good boy. Henry smiled and returned to his iob
of grinding aborted fetuses into anti wrinkle cream. A machine could have done his iob, but Happy Corp' s
motto at the time was ‘Cur aborted fetuses are ground to a bloody disgusting pulp by hand. Yon can feel that
old fashioned, hand made, ground up, human fetus goodness in every putrid rotting ounce you fucking moron.
We already know yon' re going to buy this so who gives a shit?' I should apologize, as narrator ofthis story, not
only have I strayed from the subject, but I have been terribly politically incorrect. I meant not to say 'aborted
fetuses' but instead ‘socially liberated, strong independent fetuses that don' t need no womb.' We' ll have more
on Hillary and her rally today after this commercial break"
...
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