295 301 people faund the reviewing review helpful
weenis ah the shame..." 3 July zine
By A. Chagall
This review is from: ‘feet fer Men Hair Removal Gel Creme we ml [Personal tere}
After having been deid my dinghies geeked like an elderly rastafarian I decided ta take the plunge and buy seme this as previews
shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back aut trying ta reach the mere difficult bits. Being a bit a
romantic I thought I wouid the deed en the missus' s birthday as a bit a treat.
I ordered It well In advance and weaking In the North sea I considered myself a bit above seme the characters writing the previews
reviews and write them eff as saft efface types... eh my review sufferers haw wrong Iwas. Awaited until the ether half was tucked up
In bed and after giving seme vague hints about a special surprise Iwent dawn ta the bathromm. Initially all went well and I applied
the gel and steed waiting far samething ta happen. I didn' t have lang ta wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which In a matter decends was replaced by an Intense burning and a feeling I can only describe
as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by have people Intent en hitting the ceiling with my head. hadn' t featured much In
my life until that night but I suddenly became willing ta convert ta any religion ta stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and
what seemed like the destruction the meat and have veg. Struggling ta net bite through my beatem lip I tried ta wash the gel In
the sink and only succeeded In blacking the plughole with a mat hair. Through the haze tears I struggled aut the bathromm
acre's the hall Into the kitchen by this time walking was net really passible and I crawled the final yard ta the fridge In the hope
seme farm cead relief. Shanked the freezer drawer aut and faund a tub ice cream, tere the lid and positioned It under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temperary as It melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing seen returned .
Due ta the shape the ice cream tub I hadn' t managed ta give the starfish any treatment and I creped around In the drawer far
samething else as I was sure my visier was geing ta fail fairly seen. I grabbed a bag what I later faund aut was frozen sprouts and
tere It epin trying ta be quiet as I did . I teek a handful them and tried In vain ta clench seme between the cheeks my arse.
This was net daing the trick as seme the gel had faund it' s way up the chutney channel and It felt like the space shuttle was
running it' s engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time In my life Iwas geing ta wish there was a gay snowman In the kitchen which sheild
give you seme idea the depths I was willing ta sink ta In eider ta ease the pain. The only salution my pain crazed mind cerld cemo
up with was ta gently ease ene the sprouts where no veg had gene befire.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts Deming tram the kitchen the ether half chase that moment ta cemo and Investigate and
was greeted by the sight me, arse In the air, strawberry ice cream dripping tram my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while
muttering-." that feels geed ". Understandably this was a sheck ta her and she let aut a scream and as I hadn' t heard her
cemo In It caused an spasm sheck In myself which resulted In the sprout being ejected at quite seme speed In her
direction. I can understand that having a sprout faded against your leg at 11 at night In the kitchen probably wasnt the special
surprise she was expecting and having ta explain ta the kids the next day what the strange hellew In the ice cream was didn' t
Improve my status... Se ta sum It up ‘wet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:]
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