After seeing all the DnD stuff, I thought I would share a little fun that I had DMing a campaign.
>2:30 AM after getting all characters made and ready to go.
>Start off in a room with a huge locked door
>Guy playing orc wanted to smash it open.
>Ask him what he wanted to use to attempt it.
>He dumbassingly says: "MY DICK"
>After an Emrakul size face palm, another player says he'd have to roll length.
>Tell him to use a D-12 to match size.
>Being stupid, I say roll D-6 to see in feet or inches
>Rolls a six.
>After another facepalm, I say roll strength check to see if you succeed in smashing the door down.
>Roll to see if you shattered it.
>Nat ******* 20...
>Whole party was laughing.
>I say roll a reflective damage check.
>After you clobber the door with your dick, you break it off and bleed out instantly and die.
>Everyone died at the misfortune.