What was the worst thing that ever happened to one - #110878443 added by mikhailovych at mods

Reply+106

(01/31/2014)[-]

What was the worst thing that ever happened to one of your characters funnyjunk?
One of my characters (male) who was a dragon rider (also in love with his dragon, so he was a rider in more ways than one) was mind-controlled, forced to kill his dragon and was then turned into a female and made into a sex slave
My DM is a bit of a weirdo

#188 to #8 - anon id: 941fb300

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

A friend started a ******* drug cartel and got me hooked on liquid pain.
Book of Vile Darkness is great

#153 to #8 - anon id: 4719392c

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(01/31/2014)[-]

I play a Drow Necromancer.( have artwork I can upload if you want to see) My group had no healer so they substituted me in. Hey, no problem, I have resurrection. We run into a Land Dragon. Getting our asses kicked. I'm running out of rezzes, decide to retreat. DM says we can, but must sacrifice one player. ******* idiot Dwarf warrior's turn. "We sacrifice the Necromancer"
Choked sounds coming from other players. Even DM can't believe what he heard. Dwarf.--> "What?"
Rest of team: "You just sacrificed our healer you twat!"
MFW I get eaten by a land dragon and for every campaign after my Necromancer walks off with her middle finger in the air when someone needs a rez.

#149 to #8 - swagingroflcopter

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(01/31/2014)[-]

I got raped by an orc once

#135 to #8 - limb

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(01/31/2014)[-]

I was playing a space station RP, and got into a fight with security, I rolled to shoot at them, CRITICAL FAIL, I hit the only window in the room, the window breaks and everyone is sucked into space.

#126 to #8 - altonyc

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Was playing a naive, non-violent rogue. Over the course of about 3 days, his only friend in the group got infected with lycanthropy and found he might have to put him down, accidentally killed his idol who ended up being evil, found out no matter what he can't save his father (the reason for becoming an adventuring thief in the first place), nearly dies from spider venom (DM mercy, said it would be too ******* sad at that point), was tricked into stabbing his friend with an enchanted dagger, and his dog (his only true friend before the group, who'd traveled with him for most of his young life) died brutally while saving him from a monster.

We ended up having to end the campaign early for reasons, but the DM said my character would've had to kill his dad later on, too.

#119 to #8 - zaxzwim

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

is this on a website or just regular D&D?

#123 to #119 - mikhailovych

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Regular

#125 to #123 - zaxzwim

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(01/31/2014)[-]

ok cool

#100 to #8 - royalwerewolf

Reply+1

(01/31/2014)[-]

She was kidnapped by a gay orc so he could use her to rule the world
the part kicked the orcs ass
So yeah
I want yer DM

#101 to #100 - Orc

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#103 to #101 - royalwerewolf

Reply+1

(01/31/2014)[-]

It was hilarious

#91 to #8 - thenewgizmobox

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

i jumped from a 11 story tower straight into a gaping jaw right in the middle of the earth. and survived to get my head bitten straight off its shoulders by a dragon....
i'm not good at playing rogues....

#80 to #8 - rootytootyfrooty

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#77 to #8 - halomike

Reply+11

(01/31/2014)[-]

I back handed my companion and broke their neck.

#75 to #8 - hoskins

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Tried to fight this stupid ******* archer that's super on my nerves all the time and she joins our group due to this god demanding it and threatening to kill me if I don't let her in. She ends up killing the dwarven/elven monarch and now I hate her even more.

#72 to #8 - blokrokker

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

See, that's the kind of **** that gets on "That DM" threads on /tg/. Greentext that ****, get some reactions.

#66 to #8 - anon id: 8d3bac98

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(01/31/2014)[-]

1 turn in and everyone was already burning down the village. I was DM.

#64 to #8 - katerica

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(01/31/2014)[-]

I have a Hobbit called James "The Rake" Herpes. It wasn't actually the worst, because I did it on purpose, but I think it's pretty funny...
Basically I disarmed a goblin, ********** him for a few seconds before he relised what was going on, knocked him out and ****** him anally. After that I took his dagger and circumcised him...I also caught Syphilis

#84 to #64 - anon id: 4deefe35

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(01/31/2014)[-]

lol, comment #5 talks about you

#52 to #8 - kevinator

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(01/31/2014)[-]

Playing as a Paladin , I tried to heal my friend who was in real bad shape after trying to steal from the pouch of an ogre (******* thief!) , I ****** my role and called down the fury of heaven down on him, finishing him off :/ MFW

#51 to #8 - anon id: 5ec62483

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Not to my own character. One of the retards in the party wanted to RP as an Incubus. At some point he tried to defile an altar of Callistria by ejaculating over it.

The paladin proceeded with surgury to implant a Pineapple in his dick.

#41 to #8 - anon id: 1468e60c

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

I was playing as a shifter barbarian, about 6'2", we find a cave covered in ice, we've been here before so we know there is a huge water fall around here, I decide I want to try to slide down with my other friend (some sort of triceratops fighter) we slide on ice, and as it turns out, I botched my roll pretty bad and the ice was really sharp apparently, almost died, triceratops bro crashed into the cave lake at the end, almost died because hes cold blooded and too fat to swim, he lost his favorite hammer and I was belly down blood freezing to a frozen cave lake with an ice dragon behind me.

#27 to #8 - meganinja

Reply+30

(01/31/2014)[-]

I was playing as a luchador. For some reason we had to roll for dick size and my gnome friend ended up with a fifteen inch penis with him being only 3 feet tall. He had insulted the way of the luchador, so naturally I wanted to throw him in a suplex. Unfrotunately, I rolled a 3, so when I grabbed him, I ripped his clothes off, then accidentally grabbed him by the dick, and somehow failed so badly that when I tried to suplex him his cock ended up in my ass and got stuck for the next 12 turns.

#102 to #27 - royalwerewolf

Reply+6

(01/31/2014)[-]

EL ANAL BANDITO

#24 to #8 - sayyeh

Reply+8

(01/31/2014)[-]

I Botched a my roll to shoot an arrow at a street lamp to light some wires on fire to collapse a bridge. Ended up shooting my companion in the eye and blinding him for the rest of the game.
<MFW DM describing my blunder.

#22 to #8 - flawlesswinz

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#21 to #8 - ssliskas

Reply+50

(01/31/2014)[-]

I was playing a level 16 Female Drow fighter with a dickhead DM. Not unfair or anything like that, he would just screw with you when you play. We were playing a filler quest in a long campaign since this particular session had to be short. Nothing major just a simple dungeon crawl. I kill the last enemy in a particular room and the DM says that my sword belt was cut by the enemy's sword as he fell. ****. I take the guys belt and equip it to replace mine. DM gets a huge **** eating grin on his face says "Roll a D100". I roll a 46 and DM goes your chest plate suddenly feels too loose and your cod piece is too tight. Mother ******, its the belt of masculinity/femininity. I say "You realize I'm a Drow right?" DM goes "Oh ****!" and everyone starts laughing. After he calms down he flips through one of his books and says "roll system shock" I roll a 100. Critical. *******. Fail. Everyone is laughing again. DM flips through two more books. He looks at me like the damn Cheshire cat and says "Unable to cope with being a filthy male you kill your self via falling on your own sword."

#78 to #21 - hoskins

Reply+8

(01/31/2014)[-]

******* 10/10

#48 to #21 - cdarthvader

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

what does being a drow mean exactly?

#53 to #48 - ssliskas

Reply+16

(01/31/2014)[-]

Drow are a race of elves that live under ground and are generally evil. Drow society is intensely matriarchal to the point of males being considered only one step above slaves. If a male disobeys a female the are sacrificed to the Drow goddess.

#189 to #53 - anon id: 941fb300

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Except Jarlaxle
Because Jarlaxle is 2kool

#196 to #189 - ssliskas

Reply0

(02/01/2014)[-]

Honestly I think killing Jarlaxle is impossible.

#147 to #53 - zhayce

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

That explains a lot.
I never really got into the D&D thing.

#55 to #53 - cdarthvader

Reply+4

(01/31/2014)[-]

thank you for explaining this to me.

#20 to #8 - candlejackismyhomi

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Why does everyone claim her to be a trap?

#23 to #20 - myaccountisnew

Reply+2

(01/31/2014)[-]

Because that's Gwyndolin, the youngest son of Lord Gwyn. The developers gave him boobs on accident.

#92 to #23 - thenewgizmobox

Reply+3

(01/31/2014)[-]

actually it's some lore thing with him being raised as a daughter because he worshiped the moon and apparently that's a female thing or whatnot.

#142 to #92 - doldis

Reply+1

(01/31/2014)[-]

Its not that he worshipped the moon, but that he was born with powers of the moon rather than the sun, and the moon is a feminine symbol as opposed to the sun being a masculine symbol. Being born with what would normally only be female powers made them raise him as a doughter.

#174 to #142 - thenewgizmobox

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

ahh, thankee i didn't know.

#28 to #23 - candlejackismyhomi

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Y'alright. Thank you sir.

#19 to #8 - fareastbrainseer

Reply+1

(01/31/2014)[-]

Me and some friends were recently playing a campaign set in the Fallout universe, when our party got split up by some bandits. I saw three of the others make some terrible rolls and all get beat up by a homeless guy. When we rescued them two were pretty badly hurt, and one pulled his back out rolling a nat. 1 trying to help them up. Then, I go to help, roll a nat. 100, and pick up half my party and carry them on my back, running through the lawless ruins of St. Louis to get them to safety.

#195 to #19 - keltainenlumi

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Oh god do I love D&D stories...

#15 to #8 - zeldapronmaster

Reply+319

(01/31/2014)[-]

My character was a rouge so naturally i was good at seeing bull ****, traps, disguises, and so on. Well I was at a Royal dinner party when my friend's character comes in and we never met before but something was up so i roll, and find out HES A GODDAMN BEAR. He was noble too. So I roll and call him out on it and no one else sees it but me. They call the guards, they take me outside and execute me.

#173 to #15 - Maadmann

Reply+1

(01/31/2014)[-]

This has to be the greatest meta comment I've ever read.

#113 to #15 - fuckyallniggas

Reply+3

(01/31/2014)[-]

How the hell does this game work??

#143 to #113 - keltainenlumi

Reply+4

(01/31/2014)[-]

A lot of rules & imagination.

#87 to #15 - shitshitshit#180 on commentsRank#180

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#69 to #15 - ohmeghon

Reply+8

(01/31/2014)[-]

you are brilliant

#68 to #15 - motherfuckingkenji

Reply+54

(01/31/2014)[-]

For anyone who doesn't get the reference.

#47 to #15 - neurofuzzy

Reply+4

(01/31/2014)[-]

#18 to #15 - phoenixdowner

Reply+98

(01/31/2014)[-]

#16 to #15 - dragostarc

Reply+25

(01/31/2014)[-]

Was he sir bearington?

#10 to #8 - joancod

Reply+15

(01/31/2014)[-]

Maybe when me and my friend were playing with our party of lvl 12 characters, all equipped, been through some pretty harsh **** (one of them actually got his dick desintegrated, we fought one entire dungeon to get it back).
We invite three younger newbies to play with us one day. Easy campaing, we just have to go up a mountain and kill a necromancer in his tower. One of the brats thinks that it will be the funniest **** ever to push our characters when we are over a 400 feet cliff. Two of our partners die with the falling. We pick his ******* elf (Legolas clone) and throw it down.

**** newbies.

#107 to #10 - skinjacker

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

What game are you guys talking about? D&D? If it's D&D, can you actually do that in a game like that?

#134 to #107 - joancod

Reply+1

(01/31/2014)[-]

If you are interested, you can join parties in You need to login to view this link and try it. It's the ****.
Just be sure to look for some games that welcome newbies.

#111 to #107 - tryllo

Reply+11

(01/31/2014)[-]

You can do anything in D&D

#76 to #10 - hoskins

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

how the **** did you get red text?

#133 to #76 - joancod

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

You need to login to view this link

It's garnet.

#154 to #133 - hoskins

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

That's neat. Nice gif. Battle skirts ftw.

#163 to #154 - joancod

Reply0

(01/31/2014)[-]

Yeah

#9 to #8 - poetsofthefall

Reply+32

(01/31/2014)[-]

I was playing a zombie survival campaign once and a dog went to attack me. I tried to roll a reflex and shoot it. I got a critical fail and shot my foot with a 12 gauge.