20 Ways To Maintain A
Healthy Level Of Insanity
L At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car
With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At
Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
You Can' t Attend Their Party Because You' re
Not In The Mood.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do
Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And
s. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker Far 3
Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over
Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to
ti. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with ''In
Accordance With The Prophecy".
Don' t use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out
to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Order Is
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The
Poems Don' t Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work
Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don' t
Disguise Your Voice.
16. Have Your Outworkers Address You By
Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM,
Scream ''I won! I won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running
Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For
Your Lives! They' re Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To
The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let
One Of You Go."
20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk
behind someone and say ''follow the yellow