help me FJcivilizationvAdjust content blockingContent Blocking nextrandomComment Prev Next hey FJ i dont know what to say or how to say it but lately i've been battling with my depression alot. i guess it's my fault for being a little too optimistic. I know better or at least i should know better. Every time something comes up that might make me happy i always know that the likelihood of it happening is slim. but i like to believe. I hate every time im right it's hard everyday because on paper or at a glance im doing alright. I moved out and got my own place with my best friend. I have my own car with no payments. I have a good paying job and a business and some savings in the bank. Anything i ever wanted material wise i either have or can buy right now. I traveled a lot like i always wanted to. But i just feel empty. I thought all of this would make me feel accomplished or good but it just feels like hollow victory. it feels pointless. I grew up pretty poor too. i remember going 6 months without getting a haircut. Wearing the same clothes for years. Having only one pair of shoes through out middle and high school. I didn't have access to the internet til i was in high school and that was by walking to the local library that allowed 1 hour access a day. one time my family couldn't afford the electric bill so we went 2 weeks without power at my house while school was going on. so i feel bad complaining or being ungrateful but i just don't feel anything. i actually was pretty happy when i had nothing. every little thing meant alot and you didn't have to worry so much. I tried to cope with my depression. playing some video games. watching movies. listening to music. reading books. browse dank memes on FJ. going to the gym. and yea it sort of helps but after i go to bed and lay down in the darkness it just creeps up on me. I realize its all so lonely. do you know how it feels like to go thru your whole life without someone telling you they love you? I know my family does but you know what i mean. I'd go back to having nothing if some girl told me she loved me and meant it. someone somewhere out there that cared. I sometimes take long drives along the highway and park at the beach at night. sit on one of the cabanas and listen to the waves and look at the stars. wonder how i ended up on this side of paradise. FJ share your stories. share your techniques or coping devices. share your advice or tips. I want to get better but i dont know how. Help me and other FJ members who are feeling down. any other FJ member please reach out to people if you're feeling depressed. please post your problems here if you want. I can't help myself but if we can help someone else then that makes all the difference. nextTags: help +25 -Favorite +Favorite Unsub from civilizationv Subscribe to civilizationv Unblock User's Content Block User's Content FJ needs your help to survive! Be a hero, support FJ via Patreon: Receive hats, username change ability, no ads, colored text, and more.