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Rapture me, please lord., October s, 2013
By Craig L - See all mg reviews
This review is From: , Bears,
As I type this review, I' m on the toilet, surrounded by my dearest family’ and friends and a priest. I' m not exactly’ sure whether this is
an exorcism or if I' m getting my last rites read to me, This very well could be my final crowning moment. I may’ never make it back to
my feet. What a way to go. Will I go out by suffocating in a toxic byproduct stench? Will I croak from my body expelling all essential
nutrients for life? Is this the apacolypse?
What is occurring in my body right now may’ only be explained with the final 20 minutes of the movie Independence Day, The sweet
gummy bears that I thought I had chewed and swallowed have now resurrected inside my bowels with a vengeance. The only thing
that I can imagine they are doing is s*** ting inside my digestive tract. Decomposed zombie gummy bear s'"'"'", This can' t be all my
s'"'"'", There' s no way, That' s not my s'"'"'", That' s s'"'"'" from a supernatural entity’ living inside me, Literally nothing I' eaten in a
dozen years could possibly turn my ass into a timescale model of Mt. St. Helens, violently spewing what smells like a public bus filled
with homeless people with fresh perms, in Mexico City at such a cyclic rate, that I' m worried the war veteran below me thinks he' s
storming Normandy again.
Shame on everione who handled these bears before they made it to me, Shame on Amazon for making theses available for
purchase. Shame on the guy in the warehouse who packaged this for shipment. Shame on the UPG guy for bringing this to my door.
You all knew. I know you knew, and you knew I' d know. And you still let me do this to myself, Shame on vow
My last hope now is that the force of gas propelling from my anus may’ be strong enough to disturb Satan himself in hell. And that he
is so angered by this that he sends an entire fleet of brave minions to come up through the toilet and put me out of my misery,
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