FJNS 141: Polish Cooking & a Disgusting AbominationshirigamiRank: #3897 FunisvotingBlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next I have awoken from my slumber after a night of chilling with the boys. Hopefully you all have too, otherwise I’m just here talking to myself. Or to any newcomers, I guess. If you’re new, check the FAQ in the comment I’ll inevitably post too late. It’s not a good FAQ, but it’s what I got. In the meantime, legislators, please direct your attention to Issues No. 9 and No. 103. They’re a little on the older side, but I assure these are pressing matters literally the entire nation is thinking about. join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS:Issue No. 835: The End is in Sight? “Hit TV show 'The eXecution Factor' is a critical success.”Issue No. 603: Not My Idea Issue dismissed. Issue No. 513: Something Wickered This Way Comes “Heavily subsidised Junky baskets litter the streets of the Backend of the Internet.” “Conference” Banner Unlocked (Partner with private industry.) ISSUES:Issue No. 9: Geese on the Dinner Table? The Issue: In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk’s Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that geese could be added to the menu. Debate Points: 1. “The fact is, the goose population is out of control,” says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Whoopi Shiomi. “We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have goose kebabs, goose pies, goose-on-a-sticks—the possibilities are endless! Let’s not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy.” 2. “I agree that something needs to be done about goose over-population,” says random passer-by Colleen Beethoven, “but eating them? That’s kind of gross. Let us shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal.” 3. “I am shocked and appalled!” declares SPCA President Ian Griffin. “If anyone needs to be culled, it’s us humans. The geese were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry—agriculture in particular—to back off. The goose is part of what makes the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk a great nation!” 4. Dismiss the Issue Morally Gray Poupon? Your goose is cooked. National animals necessitate national pest control. Legends never die. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 103: Plague of the Hybrids! The Issue: Angry farmers have taken to the streets demanding the government to act after reported sightings of strange goose-like dogs eating all the crops in fields. Debate Points: 1. “This unholy union should never have taken place to begin with,” comments Sigourney Rifkin, an angry farmer. “The goose was never meant to mate with a dog! They eat my crops, they attack my livestock and they’re breeding so quickly they’re swamping the environment! We can’t make a living like this! You’ve got to give us the funds and manpower to shoot anything that comes within a mile of our property and put an end to these freaks of nature! We must wipe these creatures out now or before you know it all we’ll be eating is fish.” 2. “We can’t just destroy these creatures!” exclaims Ashley Young, owner of the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk’s biggest safari park. “They may look ugly to you, but I think they’re just beautiful. We need to study them and understand them; think of what we could learn! These wonderful beasts may be a little harmful to the environment, but think of the people who will flock to see them! It would be an educational experience! Think of the money!” 3. “We could always just kill off all the dogs,” Ferdinand Falopian of the “Keep The Species Pure” foundation whispers to you in a conversation. “The goose is one of the many things our country is famous for; any perversion of its image reflects upon us all! We can’t have their image spoilt by these ugly abominations! Just get the police to go around and kill them all and we can rest easy knowing our countryside is safe!” 4. Dismiss the Issue Killer Pests? Mixed species crossbreed? Cringe. The token animal. Somebody shut that dog up. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Hope you’ve been keeping up with the posts, because for today’s weird legal trivia, we have another moose law! In Alaska, you can’t whisper in the ear of someone hunting a moose and you can’t push it out of a plane. For maximum law breakage, watch the moose fall after whispering into someone’s ear while they push it out of the plane. Not only can you not push it out of a plane, you can’t look at moose from a plane. Must be a lot of moose-related aerial disasters in Alaska. prevnext +13 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content Sub/Block Channels Funisvoting:UploadUnblockBlockSubUnsubsubs: 288
