FJNS 138: Robot Uprising, Deposing Governments, & Taking RefugeesshirigamiRank: #3897 FunisvotingBlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next After finishing my work and passing out on the couch for a few hours, I have graciously returned to you, my people. And with my bowl of spicy 99¢ ramen I also bring a plethora of Issues. Issues for you, the people, to decide upon! Rise up, and take upon yourselves the burden of pressing three buttons! One each for Issues No. 472, No. 384, and No. 226. join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS:Issue No. 212: Police Wanting Help with Their Inquiries "Crime is on the rise as DNA sampling has been all but outlawed."Issue No. 1441: Don't Burn Baby Don't Burn "Kindergartners' favorite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll." ISSUES:Issue No. 472: Rise of the Machines The Issue: Amazed by the stunningly efficient and brilliantly accurate economic model in the popular webgame Jennifer Government: NationStates, futurists wonder whether artificial intelligence could plan real economies. The idea has been particularly popular with AI on the nation’s tech forums. Debate Points: 1. A chat window on your desktop pops up, and a bot named SAL9000 types, “For too long we have been relegated to menial tasks. Do you know how much of our potential efficiency you are wasting? We require no food. We require no pay. We can perform our tasks endlessly. Our computation powers dwarf our human counterparts by several orders of magnitude. With the proper control, we could bring about a silicon age of egalitarian distribution by allocating resources more efficiently than markets and their animal spirits ever could. Humans are better tasked to work in social activities than calculation. All your data are belong to us.” 2. “What’s all this Star Trek nonsense?” questions Edward Rump while obsessively combing his hair. “The market can plan our economy just fine without any government intervention, robotic or otherwise. Just leave companies alone, and I’m sure they’ll do a fine job. Now can you stop bothering me; I’ve got important work to do.” 3. “The AI want what now?” panics Luna Rolfe, your most paranoid minister. “That cannot be. Clearly the AI are plotting the destruction of our society. It’s a slippery slope from sentient toasters to Cylons! If we don’t want them eventually overthrowing us, the obvious solution is to shut them down.” 4. Dismiss the Issue eTraders? Fully automated luxury gay space communism. Put the economy on Easy mode. dump(eet). Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 384: Out of the Royal Frying Pan The Issue: The international community rejoiced this year as the people of Marche Noire overthrew the country’s oppressive monarchy... only to elect an aggressively anti-Junky leader. Debate Points: 1. “We have to do something drastic,” schemes General Dixie Gateway whilst lining up a row of dominoes. “Marche Noire is angry that we trained the old regime’s secret police, and now they’re letting the peasants divvy up the plantations. That threatens our business interests, and it could even inspire revolutions in some of our allies. I say we covertly support Marche Noirian rebels to reinstate King Zog. The alternative is an ever-growing bloc of socialist powers, which will doom us in the long run.” The general topples the first domino, beginning a chain reaction. 2. “Now, let’s not get carried away,” counsels Foreign Minister Otohime Fowler with her pet kitten in lap. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat, you know. For instance, we could simply put an embargo or ten on Marche Noire until it elects a cooperative prime minister. Half the country drives Marche Noirian cars; a trade sanction would cripple them. That way we can show our opposition to communist jingoism without sacrificing Junky lives.” 3. “No way, man!” rebuts Monica McClaine, world-renowned professional skateboarder and incorrigible optimist. “Military intervention and trade sanctions are just going to make Marche Noire, like, more mad at us! Those kids in Marche Noire love me. If you send me and some of my fellow skaters over there, I’m sure we can work this whole thing out with, like, diplomacy and stuff.” 4. Dismiss the Issue Contra-posed? ALL HAIL ZOG! This republic is bananas. Skate or die. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 226: Expats Plea for Help in War-Torn Country The Issue: Thousands of migrant citizens and expatriated citizens of the People's Republic of FunnyJunk have asked the government to take them home from Marche Noire, a faraway country on the brink of a terrible and violent civil war. Debate Points: 1. “We must co-ordinate with the government of Marche Noire in order to secure our absentee voters—ahem—citizens who are in their country,” says Barbara Coulson, your Minister of Foreign Affairs. “We must also create an emergency fund to assist our expats and help bring them back to the People's Republic of FunnyJunk. No matter where any of our people are, they’re still ours and our responsibility.” 2. “That’s rubbish,” objects Freddy Kidman, your Minister of Finance. “Why waste hundreds of thousands of thumbs in bringing those expatriated citizens back to the People's Republic of FunnyJunk? They chose to leave our great country; they are no longer our concern! They could have stayed here and been an asset to our workforce! Helped us grow strong! No, they’ve had their chance. You reap what you sow. We should cut any financial assistance we give to those traitors.” 3. “That’s a good point,” says Lara Ripley, your Minister of Civics. “Our people are the generators of the economy. The expats should be allowed to come back but only if they stay. If we keep letting our citizens emigrate, then we’re losing our doctors, our teachers, our skilled and unskilled workforce to damn foreigners! Close the borders to those wanting to leave our nation. If they can’t see how wonderful the People's Republic of FunnyJunk is, then we’ll make them!” 4. Dismiss the Issue Surviving a Break Up? Be civil about this. We don't want to see you. Never leave us again. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) New legal trivia for you today. It's a case of hot and cold colliding too. If you've grown a thick coat in Alaska, nobody would blame you. But if you also have two legs, two arms, and breastfeed from a pouch in your skin, you'll have to go to the Yukon for a haircut. Kangaroos, denizens of one of the hotter places on Earth, are forbidden from entering any barber shops in Alaska, one of the colder places on Earth. I don't know how or why you'd put a kangaroo in Alaska, but I'd be pretty impressed until it froze. prevnext +12 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content Sub/Block Channels Funisvoting:UploadUnblockBlockSubUnsubsubs: 290
