FJ Nation 63: Taking a Gamble & TrustshirigamiRank: #3897 FunisvotingBlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next Hello, loyal voters. I saw Old today. Messed up **** in that movie. I won't spoil it for you, but I would recommend it if you want to re-learn how to be nauseous. Let's reel back to more realistic things, tonight, and deal with Issues No. 1293 and No. 41. It's better than real politics... The consequences of your actions are also coming up in the RESULTS section, so stay put and don't touch that dial! join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS: Issue No. 610: Only Leader Could Go to Dàguó "Lavish state dinners in Bad Gateway 502 are the state's leading budgetary expenditure."Issue No. 634: Bullet Time "In life full of care there is no time to stop and stare." "On Rails" Banner Unlocked (Provide substantial public transport.)Issue No. 1246: Breath of the Wild "The cycle of extinction and rebirth is never ending." ISSUES:Issue No. 1293: Bet Your Life The Issue: Llewellyn Vega, a usually unremarkable 45-year-old sanitation worker, was recently detained after trying to tight-rope walk naked across the canyon between two financial district skyscrapers. It turns out this was for a bet, or more accurately as the price of a wager in an illegal “extreme casino”, where gamblers are allowed and encouraged to offer non-financial stakes. In these places any wager can be agreed, be it body parts, sexual favors or binding agreements. Debate Points: 1. “I’m a man of integrity; I had to honor the agreed stakes,” enthuses the gambler, shivering in a police cell and seemingly showing no contrition for his foolishness. “Honestly, you need to allow this sort of thing in legal casinos. It’s a real thrill, knowing that the next turn of the card could win you thousands, or could literally cost you your balls.” 2. “This poor idiot is a victim, both of his own gambling addiction and of the criminal subculture that abuses that dependence to manipulate the weak-minded,” lectures Police Chief Harriet Cotchin, as she posts a notice banning her officers from buying lottery scratchcards. “We need more police officers to crack down on illegal casinos, mental health support to help deal with gambling addiction, and social workers to help deal with the root causes of gambling. Don’t play dice with our nation’s future, Leader.” 3. “You don’t have to go to either extreme,” says casino owner Magnus Khachaturian. “Rather, there’s a market-based solution here. Make monetary gambling more attractive by making legal casinos more exciting. Loosen the rules restricting addiction-friendly gambling environments. We can then use amphetamine-laced sodas, all night lock-ins, high stakes slot machines and all the other tricks of the trade to optimize our business. Let us addict the customers to proper casinos, and there won’t be any market share for the illegal ones.” 4. Dismiss the Issue Big Money, No Whammies? Call their bluff. Lowball the highrollers. Bet it all on green. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 41: Software Giant Stomps on Competition The Issue: The CEO of People's Republic of FunnyJunk software, hardware, and electronic headwear giant Microcosm, Inc. has been brought before the Supreme Court for violation of antitrust laws. Debate Points: 1. “These allegations are absolutely ludicrous!” shouts Microcosm CEO Bawu Rose from the window of a 90-foot stretch limo. “Just because rival companies are incapable of producing products as brilliant as mine is no reason to punish ME! I say it’s high time we abolish these idiotic antitrust laws and give big business the freedom to serve the public better. After all, I’m in this business for the people!” 2. “Microcosm must be shut down immediately,” argues CEO of Computers, Computers, Computers! Fleur Abbott from the window of a clunky, exhaust-choked used car. “I can’t get a foothold to compete in the market because those bigwigs in Microcosm have that foothold by the throat! It’s high time the government stepped in and helped out the little guy, and the best way to do that is by stopping corporations from growing so big they get a stranglehold on the market!” 3. “Verily, I say unto thee, none of this would have happened wouldst thou not have stopped the problem before thou didst start it,” argues Brother Richard Fowler of the Peoples Republic of FunnyJunk Amish community from out the window of his horse-drawn carriage. “We must doest as the Lord commandeth and abolishest the evils of computers and the Internet entirely. Only whenst we harken unto the Lord’s commandments mayeth we truly be spiritually blessed.” 4. Dismiss the Issue Going Soft on Monopolies? It's fine. Trust me. Carve up big tech like a raspberry pie. The smartest application is temperance unto thyself. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Just a notice to everyone following our nation, I'll be staying at a friend's house this weekend if you didn't already know, so we'll probably have another mobile post. That means no state trivia tomorrow either. Speaking of state trivia, it's time for the Lone Star Republic herself, Texas! Home to patriotism, all four seasons of weather at once, and the texagon! This piece of state trivia I picked out not because it was particularly uncouth, but because the index I'm using is wrong. The site claims it's still on the books that Texas requires any officeholder to believe in a higher power. HOWEVER, the exact wording indicates - to me, at least - that not only at the federal level, but the state level as well that a man not need believe anything to hold office. The specific wording is ambiguous, as per pretty much any piece of legislation ever. I'll let you see the excerpt and decide for yourself. "No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office, or public trust, in this State; nor shall any one be excluded from holding office on account of his religious sentiments, provided he acknowledge the existence of a Supreme Being." prevnext +8 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content Sub/Block Channels Funisvoting:UploadUnblockBlockSubUnsubsubs: 290