FJ Nation 49: Dirty Needles & Sean Connery

I have gotten a headstart on this post, so hypothetically, it should be done by 2AM EST. The internet and power have been behaving so far, so the only hurdle is uploading. That said and done, welcome back to your favorite democratic process, legislators! We’re up and running with two Issues for you today, No. 786 and No. 1062, and the RESULTS from earlier today. Also, in the event you guys noticed any graphical glitches, those are normal. The site admins don’t specifically know why they’re there, but it’s more prominent on mobile.

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Mention History

RESULTS:

FJ Nation 49: Dirty Needles & Sean Connery. I have gotten a headstart on this post, so hypothetically, it should be done by 2AM EST. The internet and power have

Issue No. 685: Externalities Palmed Off
“Both diet and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade.”

Issue No. 732: A Peeping Problem
“Junkies are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks.”

Issue No. 161: Where There’s a Will, There’s a Tax
“The government is notorious for leaving citizens almost nothing from their inheritance.”

ISSUES:

Issue No. 786: Tainted Tattoos

The Issue: There has been a rise in infection rates across the country from unsterilized tattoo needles. Health advocates have called on the government to impose safety standards on tattoo parlors across the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk.

Debate Points:
1. “This can’t go on!” cries Grace Chen of the Junky Health and Safety Board. “The government needs to regulate tattoo artists and ensure that minimal health and safety practices are being followed. Otherwise, we’ll have a full-blown crisis on our hands. Did you know that some tattoo artists don’t even sterilize their equipment? That’s risking all kinds of disease!”
2. “This is ridiculous!” exclaims tattoo artist Louis James as he inks one of your staffers with a skull tattoo. “Why punish all of us because a minority don’t use clean needles? We need less state interference, not more. Word of mouth, not government regulation, will put the ones who infect their customers out of business. It’s common sense!”
3. “It’s about time this country banned body modification altogether!” condemns controversial religious speaker Ruby Pound. “Tattoos, piercings, and - ugh - fake nails, are all disgusting and offensive against the Creator. Holy books from all religions clearly indicate that this modification is a sin. Put some funding into religion and religious education instead to bring forward these lost souls so we can show them the true path of righteousness.”
4. Dismiss the Issue

Deal with These Pricks?

Wash it before you stick it in there.

It’s all hypodermic hyperbole.

Tattoos of the devil are secretly Satanic symbols.

Dismiss.

Vote!
(View results)

Issue No. 1062: The Hunt for the Violet November

The Issue: Blackacre, a nation historically opposed to the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk, has declared that their submarine Violet November has gone missing, and are keen to scour the area where it was last spotted — just off the edge of the Junky continental shelf.

Debate Points:
1. “Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice, Leader,” says Tyrone Lancaster, a diminutive Blackacrean ambassador. “Our submarine was just a training vessel that got erm... blown off course... or something. But the main issue here is saving the thirty crew members that are on board before their oxygen runs out! Any kind of help will be greatly appreciated: freedom of movement for our search boats, logistical aid, rescue teams, engineers... This is such a great opportunity for our two nations to start on a path towards greater friendship.”
2. “A training vessel? Yeah! Right!” exclaims Rear Admiral Rolfe as the ambassador leaves your office. “I bet all my navy ribbons that we’re talking about a spy sub or a nuke platform! Those Blackacreans are always stirring up trouble and encroaching into our territorial waters. You should have our own submarines, frigates and destroyers search out and destroy unauthorised military vessels, including this sub, once we find it! That will give them something to think about before trespassing here again.”
3. Dismiss the Issue

Noyabr’?

No papers, state to state.

The hunt is on.

Dismiss.

Vote!
(View results)

Issue No. 685: Externalities Palmed Off “Both diet and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade.”

Issue No. 732: A Peeping Problem “Junkies are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks.”

Issue No. 161: Where There’s a Will, There’s a Tax “The government is notorious for leaving citizens almost nothing from their inheritance.” ISSUES:

Issue No. 685: Externalities Palmed Off
“Both diet and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade.”

Issue No. 732: A Peeping Problem
“Junkies are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks.”

Issue No. 161: Where There’s a Will, There’s a Tax
“The government is notorious for leaving citizens almost nothing from their inheritance.”

ISSUES: