FJ Nation 48: Smokes, ****, and DeathshirigamiRank: #3897 FunisvotingBlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next ****, between the heat, humidity, and flood damage, we have rolling blackouts up here. Anyways, I guess we’ll be on a morning schedule today since that’s when the Issues are gettings answered. You guys answer Issues No. 685, No. 732, and No. 161. While you do that, I’m gonna marinate and complain to the power companies. join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS: Issue No. 1432: Oh Dear “There’s an aura of pseudoscience around academia.”Issue No. 1133: Rocky Road “Roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it.” “Hiking” Banner Unlocked (Leverage a beautiful environment into a throving tourism industry.) ISSUES:Issue No. 685: Externalities Palmed Off The Issue: A sunny neighbouring nation with a developing economy has been burn-clearing large swathes of rainforest to gain land for palm tree plantations. Weather conditions have carried the thick pall of smoke from the burning across a narrow sea strait, and into the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk. Debate Points: 1. “The smog is affecting the young, the elderly, and the sick,” notes your Minister of Civic Welfare, as he holds a rose-scented handkerchief over his nose and mouth. “We have to send a strongly-worded letter to their government to request that they do something to stop the parties responsible, if they’d be so kind. I’m sure that with their own citizens being affected, and with us pointing out the ecological damage they’re doing, they’ll take everything into consideration and choose to be reasonable.” 2. “They aren’t going to respond to that! They don’t care if their own citizens drop dead in the fields, they’re cynical profiteers who only care about the bottom line!” fumes Natalia Ward, the Minister of Trade and Industry. “Let’s embargo all their palm oil products and encourage all our allies and major trade partners to do the same. That’ll teach them!” 3. “Teach them what? That we care about abstract concepts like ‘diplomacy’ and ‘dialogue’?” rebukes Usman Curtis, a hawkish Air Force Commander, pounding his fist into his open hand for emphasis. “It’s clear that they won’t fold easily when there’s so much profit at stake, but if we bomb the government, whoever is still left will accede to any of our demands.” 4. “And what will that achieve? Decades in a never-ending war, that’s what!” mocks Caliban Kringle, a slightly deranged scientist, who is staring intently at a snowglobe. “Instead, let’s build a protective acrylic-glass dome over every city, and connect them via enclosed tubes. We won’t have to care about the haze, difficult neighbours, or even climate change ever again!” 5. Dismiss the Issue Smoke on the Water? Burning papers. It’s time to oil up. Fire from the skies. Change demonym to “Bubble Boys”. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 732: A Peepeing Problem The Issue: Several of your aides were fired yesterday after the IT Department found pornography on their work computers. The former employees have fought back saying their privacy was violated and they should be restored to their positions. Debate Points: 1. “Thank you so much for meeting with us, Leader!” greets May Underwood, one of the aides fired for looking at pornography, while holding out her hand for a handshake. “Please give us our jobs back! Just because I’m lonelier than most shouldn’t be a reason to fire me. Look at my past performance reviews, I was a great worker who always got everything done ahead of schedule. Even if the computers are technically theirs, letting employers look into an employee’s browsing history is a creepy invasion of privacy anyway, the practice should be outlawed regardless.” 2. Your IT technician peers over a computer monitor while performing routine maintenance on your computer: “Are these people nuts? If people want to watch pornography they should do so in the privacy of their own homes, not on employers’ computers. These employees violated your trust and therefore deserve to be punished. Your right to privacy ends when you start using your employers’ computers.” 3. “Let me touch bases with you for some outside of the box thinking,” implores workplace coach Sterling Cobblepot. “I think giving your workers less detrimental ways to deal with workplace stress could be a real game changer. We need to enable employees to work smarter, not harder. Some low hanging fruit to help resolve this problem could include letting workers set their own hours, adding bean-bag chairs to the office, heck, maybe even mandating slides be put in the break-room. You could even force these things to be implemented across the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk, as I think they’ll work together in synergy to create a real win-win.” 4. Dismiss the Issue XXX or HR? Workplace webcams. No fraternizing. Stress balls is not a dominatrix term. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 161: Where There’s a Will, There’s a Tax The Issue: After the vast fortunes of a recently deceased oil tycoon in the People’s Republic of FunnyJunk were left to a small cactus plant, citizens nationwide have been asking the same question: should the inheritance tax laws be changed? Debate Points: 1. “Every time I see a stupid rich kid having an easy ride of life with money they did nothing to deserve, I go into a jealous rage and start punching walls,” says economically disadvantaged individual Ludwig Hicks. “Abolish inheritance entirely! If the government takes the inheritance then we can spend all that cash on things that make ordinary people’s lives better, like education, social welfare, and attack helicopters.” 2. “This is a disgusting breach of my human rights,” says Sabina Pavlov, heir to an international widget empire. “Just think of all the poor families who have spent their lives scrimping and saving with the dream of passing on a modest luxury yacht to ensure the security of their children’s children. All that sacrifice, all that toil, all those long nights working their fingers to the bone setting up offshore accounts - it brings a tear to my eye. Inheritance tax has got to go!” 3. “Surely we can arrange some sort of compromise here,” says comfortable knitwear fan Amanda Wang. “Yes, it’s true that some people exploit the system - but a lot of people rely on inheritance for their basic support! Why don’t we just set a sensible ceiling on how much you can inherit? That way you get to keep the family farm, but not the five mansions and the oil refinery.” 4. Dismiss the Issue Family Heirloom? You can’t take it with you. Rockin’ the Rockefeller. A boot to the head. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Well, I wasn’t about to leave you all high and dry, so we thankfully got these Issues out. Since it’s almost 11AM though, let me know in the comments if you want me to try to get another nightpost out like usual, or if you want me to keep dayposting for the rest of the week. It really depends on how fast I can get power back once it’s out, but your guys’ input is always useful. prevnext +9 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content Sub/Block Channels Funisvoting:UploadUnblockBlockSubUnsubsubs: 290