FJ Nation 27: Your Car and Coming to a Full StopshirigamiRank: #3377BlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next Another car Issue? Look's like we're 2 for 2. Welcome back, sexy senate. It's time we put to a vote another two Issues on FunnyJunk NationStates. Specifically, Issues No. 1450 and No. 1446. Take your seat and grab your meat: It's voting time. join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS: Issue No. 1052: The Prisoners' Dilemma "The weather report is the prisoners' favorite program."Issue No. 933: A Gun in Every Hand and a Tank in Every Garage? "International terrorists often get their weapons supply in the People's Republic of FunnyJunk." "In My Sights" Banner Unlocked (Support the right to bear arms.)Issue No. 74: People's Republic of FunnyJunk's Racers Growing Fast and Furious "The People's Republic of FunnyJunk Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise." ISSUES:Issue No. 1450: Driving Leader The Issue: After many years of faithful service, your current vehicle broke down on the highway this morning, forcing you to squeeze into the back of a police car like a common hoodlum in order to get to work. To avoid any further embarrassments, your advisors have asked you to pick a new state car to whisk you to-and-fro when required. Debate Points: 1. “Look, that old barge was pretty, but it might not have been adequate if there was a bomb attack!” proclaims General Alfred Campbell, gesturing wildly and getting uncomfortably close to your face. “What we need to protect you is a state-of-the-art military vehicle. I’m talking 10cm thick carbon-ceramic armour, missile launchers, gun nests, and plenty of room for a squad of special forces operatives. Let’s make something no enemy of the state would dare even look funny at, let alone consider attacking! 2. Suddenly, your windows are shaken by what sounds like the bellow of a wild animal as eccentric TV star and car enthusiast Clark Jeremysson revs the engine of his Berrari Forza-Azzurri, then proceeds to address you using a megaphone. “Your people judge you based on what you’re driving. How on earth can they connect with you on a personal level if you’re riding around in a hybrid battlecruiser-tank thing? You should get something fast and exciting — a proper supercar — and drive it yourself. Show everyone that you’re a real take-charge leader who goes wherever you want, at whatever speed you want. People will love it!” 3. “Heaven forbid that such an uncouth brute should influence Your Excellency,” sputters Elena Holst, head of sales at Bolls-Boyce, bowing low and taking off her hat. “My dear, the vehicle that served you was very fine indeed, but fear not, for we can make a more luxurious replacement at our coachbuilding studio that will be far superior to the pedestrian wares offered by Maxcedes and Barryan Motor Works. If you would be so kind as to tell me your preferred leather suppleness and decanter temperature, my master craftsmen can get to work post-haste.” 4. “Why waste taxpayer money on an expensive limousine when you can set an example of frugality?” questions your Minister of Anti-Corruption, who also happens to be your niece. “Just drive whatever’s available, like one of the compact cars in the government’s vehicle pool. They’re all made by General Chassis, right here in the People's Republic of FunnyJunk. It’ll help reduce government spending, while demonstrating your support for the local automotive industry.” 5. You think you’re finished, but then a scraggly hippy who had appeared to be a large bush stands up and starts moving in your direction. “Like, dude... it’s you, man! I always thought you were cool! Hey, listen, I want to rap with you about something. Like, cars are so last century, dude! The people will totally be down with it if you just... like, walk everywhere. Imagine, you with a sweet poncho and a stick, totally in sync with Mother Earth, just walking to... wherever it is you go. Maybe it’ll put out good vibrations and change some minds about pollution and saving the world!” 6. Dismiss the Issue Kart Select? Built Fort tough. You can drive any speed you want, as long as it's redlining. The best or nothing. We are professional grade. Cars are boring. Wear sneakers. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 1446: Yet Another Issue about Periods The Issue: Your niece has been berating your Secretary of State on her Twitcher account, accusing him of making her feel uneasy by his use of full stops in his text messages. She claims they indicate that the sender is annoyed at the recipient and that the full stop should no longer be considered as proper usage. Once a quiet chat has been had with the 55-year-old about why he’s texting your 16-year-old niece in the first place, a conversation begins about your niece’s ideas. Debate Points: 1. Your niece DMs you, despite the fact that she’s only just across the room: smh, your messages are all so Formal And Proper... were basically having a conversation rn, so you should write like youre actually speaking out loud – add some *emphasis* and cut out those full stops, i mean, have you heard anyone speak every sentence with a flat inflection? while your at it, you should fr make everyone over 30 attend texting literacy class, yall gotta learn somehow 2. “I’ve never heard such nonsense,” proclaims Professor Phileas Ogaria, the nation’s foremost authority on punctuation. “Proper pedagogical procedures necessitate principles of punctuation, and every youth should be carefully considering how to conform correctly. If children cannot accurately use a semicolon by the time they leave kindergarten, then there’s no hope for them.” 3. “Ancient Maxtopia had a way around this problem,” states archaeologist Agnes Goldsmith, as she chisels away at your desk. “They used hieroglyphs to communicate the written word, and didn’t punctuate at all. Imagine if we adopted a similar pictorial script that portrays modern Junky life; there’d be no more arguments over whether the writing needs a semicolon or a colon, and the younger Junkies will feel a lot less threatened.” 4. Dismiss the Issue Criminal Sentencing? it's not really a run on sentence, it's just a way to express my ideas in one fluid thought, and the use of conjunctions can remove all the functionality of a period, even if the sentences don't line up as well as this did Grammatik macht frei. Hail the Wordmacht. 我有培根的結構完整性 Dismiss. Vote! (View results) It's late, but it doesn't feel late. The summer sun must be getting to me. Anyways, that's a wrap for today. It looks like we got a couple of the newest Issues too, that's pretty neat, I'd say. Today's legal fun fact is also pretty neat. Or unsettling, depending on your outlook. In Pocatello, Idaho, former home of the notorious worst flag in the Union if not the world, it's illegal to not smile. They passed a joke law a long time ago, and never officially took it off the books, so you better smile like you mean it. prevnext +9 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content