FJ Nation 137: The PRFJPD & the PRFJFDshirigamiRank: #3897 FunisvotingBlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next Last time on DemocracyBall Shippuden, I did math, FunnyJunk made a meme that caused me to sharply exhale, the internet sharted, and you voted on not one, but three Issues! Can we pull it out of our ass again? Will my ISP continue to randomly throttle my connection at odd hours of the day? Stay tuned for Issues No. 212 and No. 1441! join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS:Issue No. 636: Going on the Cyber Offensive "School teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students." The People's Republic of FunnyJunk's Civil Rights rose from Below Average to Average.Issue No. 1185: Should Be Sufficient "The best fashion comes straight to the high street from sweatshops all across the globe." Cancelled Policy: AutarkyIssue No. 867: Museums: A Thing of the Past? "Museums have more touchscreens on display than artifacts." ISSUES:Issue No. 212: Police Wanting Help with Their Inquiries The Issue: After delayed DNA evidence put a notorious rapist behind bars the police have demanded that it be mandatory for those accused of a crime to surrender blood and tissue samples to aid the elimination process. Debate Points: 1. “I’m surprised this hasn’t been brought up sooner,” says Chief Constable Lana Putin. “If we have DNA samples of all the accused it will make solving crimes like rape and murder that much faster! Sure, some people will think it’s a tad invasive, but in my experience if you’re worried by something like giving up a few drops of the red stuff then you’ve probably got something to hide.” 2. “This is a breach of privacy in every meaning of the word!” criminal defense attorney Raphael Wiseau exclaims. “Or three words, but this is an outrage! It’s these peoples’ bodies, not the government’s nor the police’s. If they want to give a DNA sample it should be THEIR decision! Now I’ll admit there have been times when DNA sampling has helped solve a case or two but shouldn’t we be upholding the inherent right of every man and woman to have their body remain unmolested unless they should so choose it? Undoubtedly! DNA sampling should only take place with the person’s informed consent.” 3. “What about the victims of these crimes?” asks DI Yui Dumas, ever gruff and stalwart in the face of adversity. “Do they not have rights? Their right to privacy’s been violated so it ought to be the responsibility of the criminal to give up his own. What I propose is the collection of DNA samples from every citizen in the People's Republic of FunnyJunk so we can track down the culprit if none of our suspects come up with anything. It’ll be expensive, sure, there’s 892 million people to go through... but it’s just a small blood sample. Don’t you think it’s worth it?” 4. Dismiss the Issue Our Boys in Red? Romanian officers known to hate garlic in their doughnuts. Criminal meat should be ethically sourced. Robbery the blood bank. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 1441: Don't Burn Baby Don't Burn The Issue: Yesterday, a house in Bad Gateway 502 caught fire while two young children were inside. Firefighters rescued the children, who were found hiding from the flames in a closet, before it was too late. Debate Points: 1. “Children who are unfamiliar with fire instinctively hide from it,” says Fire Chief Rodriguez, holding up a weighty fire safety manual titled Fires: They’re Not Lit. “We’ve even seen situations where kids have hidden from uniformed firefighters. You should add fire safety to the national curriculum and provide grants for fire departments to visit schools so that we can teach kids how to escape fires.” 2. “Wait, the parents left children ALONE at home?” cries Wulfric Goose, while ignoring his leashed-up toddlers who are sticking their slimy hands into your sweets jar. “If these kids were not left home alone, they would have never needed rescuing! Children should always be supervised by at least one adult guardian at all times who can rescue them from emergencies. It’s the only way to keep them safe. Also, parents should be charged with child neglect if their children are left unaccompanied.” 3. “You know, a fire can’t get out of control when nothing in the house can burn,” says pyrophobe Commodus Fils-Aimé, decked out in a fire proximity suit and wearing a fire extinguisher on his back like a diving tank. “Just mandate that all, yes all, household objects be fire resistant. That way fires can’t spread as quick, and children will be less likely to face life or death situations... at least, not ones related to fires. Here, I’ve brought a new fireproof suit for you. You look good in yellow fluoro. Very slimming.” 4. Dismiss the Issue Roast These Kids? Drill the knowledge into their heads. Open a tindergarten. This idea is retardant. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) We've concluded our strange legal trivia in Alabama and move North onto the Last Frontier. Not space or the Frontier, I'm talking Alaska. The next five bits of trivia are somewhat predictably about animals. Probably because they have a lot of those. The first one is about the state of bears. If you've ever wanted to hunt a bear in Alaska... fret not, that's perfectly legal within the right conditions. However, take careful consideration of when you pose with it. Waking a bear to get a picture of it is expressly forbidden. Doesn't seem very fair to shoot it when it's asleep anyways. prevnext +16 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content Sub/Block Channels Funisvoting:UploadUnblockBlockSubUnsubsubs: 288
