FJ Nation 135: The Air & the AirheadsshirigamiRank: #3897 FunisvotingBlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next Welcome back to the weekdays, voters. I'd like to report an interesting mistake in the previous installment's polls. I accidentally switch the buttons for options 1 and 2 on Issue No. 21, but you guys actually tied it anyways. As a result, there's actually no net difference. That aside, we'll be moving on to Issues No. 1429 and No. 307 today. Here's to not making the same mistakes again! join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS:Issue No. 21: Police Consider “Big Brother” Anti-Crime System "All major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras." The People's Republic of FunnyJunk's Civil Rights fell from Average to Below Average.Issue No. 38: The People’s Republic of FunnyJunk Looks to the Stars "The nation's first space rocket — sponsored by Eckie-Ecola and shaped like an enormous soda bottle — is being developed." New Policy: Space Program "The World Above Us" Banner Unlocked (Reach for the stars.)Issue No. 1131: Safe Sects "Five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars." ISSUES:Issue No. 1429: The Wind Become Death The Issue: Recent studies of becquerel-burdened berries have found that radioactive fallout from nuclear weapons testing in Althaniq has been carried into the People's Republic of FunnyJunk by transoceanic jet streams. Debate Points: 1. “Althaniq might be keen to join the big boys at the nuclear-capable club, but this sort of sloppiness makes it clear they’re not ready,” comments your Minister of International Patronization. “The Peoples Republic of FunnyJunk is like an elder sibling to Althaniq — tell them that they don’t need a nuclear weapons program, because they’re already under our protection. In fact, tell them they have to cease all testing now and in perpetuity, if they want to stay on our good side, and pay reparations for the harm they’ve done. They gotta remember their place.” 2. “No, can you not see? This is the danger of raw, unadulterated nuclear power!” cries nuclear disarmament activist Octavius Trust as he manically waves around a Geiger counter that clicks worryingly as it sweeps past your groin area. “These weapons imperil our very means of life — the ramifications of radiation spare no one. Althaniq must cease their nuclear ambitions, and we should lead by example. Disarm now!” 3. “How boring, like I haven’t heard that two hundred and thirty-five times already,” yawns nuclear scientist Taylor Ford. “Look, Althaniq is only doing nuclear tests because they’re decades behind advanced nations like ours. We did all our testing decades ago, and there’s really no need for them to repeat all that messy business. Just share our technical knowledge with them, and we’ll be even closer allies than before.” 4. “We should use these jet streams to our advantage,” whispers your Minister of Stealth Bombing as he materializes out of nowhere. “Our scientists have compiled a detailed map of jet stream systems — correctly employ these, and we can secretly detonate dirty bombs in the middle of nowhere, while still delivering cancer and illness into the heart of enemy nations.” 5. Dismiss the Issue Breathing In the Chemicals? Lead with lead shields. Drop the bomb. Satisfy their curie-osity. Silent, but deadly. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 307: Derailing the Gravy Train The Issue: A national newspaper has uncovered details of a number of politicians’ expenses documents, publishing claims from gold-plated toilet seats to elaborate steak dinners for dogs. Following the publication, the general public is clamoring at your door demanding answers. Debate Points: 1. “This is the sort of disgraceful behavior we’ve come to expect from our politicians,” bemoans unemployed teacher, Miranda al-Zahawi. “Look around you! No one else is living so extravagantly. We need to lower all politicians’ salaries to the poverty line and put the kibosh on these claimed ‘business expenses’ too. Maybe then they’ll understand how real people actually live in the Peoples Republic of FunnyJunk.” 2. “This is quite absurd!” scoffs Tim Galavan, taking a sip of Bollinger ‘86. “We toil day in and day out keeping this country running, and this is the thanks we get? Newspapers snooping around our personal business, questioning what we need to do our jobs? We incur certain necessary expenses that may look odd when taken out of context - and that’s just what the media is doing! They’re distorting the facts just to boost their ratings. Well, I say their prying eyes have gone too far. We need to outlaw this underhanded ‘reporting’ for the sake of the patriotic values that made this nation great!” 3. Dismiss the Issue Let Them Eat Bread? From gold showers to golden showers. Previously mentioned twelve year olds were actually just scotch. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Welcome back to the legal trivia. If you want to break as many weird laws as possible, I've got a triple play for you straight from the state of Alabama. To break three for three, you must drive: 1. blindfolded. 2. barefoot. 3. the wrong way on a one way street with a lantern on the front of your car. prevnext +8 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content Sub/Block Channels Funisvoting:UploadUnblockBlockSubUnsubsubs: 288
