FJ Nation 115: Dirty Underwear & a Burning SensationshirigamiRank: #3377 FunisvotingBlocksBlocks prevnext Prev Next This should come out at a more standard time now that it was just anime night tonight... this morning. I don't know. When do you guys make the distinction between a late night and an early morning? Unless the sun comes up, it's still night until I go to sleep and wake up. Anyways, today, we wake up to Issues No. 544 and No. 816. Because everyone loves 7AM politics! join list: FunnyStates (51 subs)Mention History RESULTS:Issue No. 1013: Grave Disease "One does not simply walk into the tundra."Issue No. 625: Delivering the Goods "Former customs agents are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders." The People's Republic of FunnyJunk's economy rose from Good to Strong. "Metropolis" Banner Unlocked (Combine 400 million citizens with a good economy.) "Aspire" Banner Unlocked (Develop a strong economy in a scientifically advanced nation with a good environment.)Issue No. 1139: A Little Wrestling, a Lot of Controversy "The government loves seeing the little people fight." ISSUES:Issue No. 544: Object-Oriented Programming The Issue: Triple-A videogame title “Panty Theft Auto” has caused a stir amongst feminists and concerned parents, with many demanding government action against objectification and sexualization of women in the game industry. Debate Points: 1. “This is disgusting!” cries Alice N. Beck-Dell, a proudly feminist media commentator. “Look at these bimbos in all of these games! They’d need back braces to stand up if they were real! The male protagonist can rack up passive female conquests, and even gets a set of pornographic virtual trading cards for each one he collects. Can’t we apply some modern day standards to this growing industry, to limit the objectification? Drooling teenage boys might admittedly be a significant market, but there are adult and women gamers too! Isn’t some censorship worth it, for a less misogynistic society?” 2. “You can’t be serious,” complains Stan Houser, creative director of the game, covertly slipping you some special edition artwork of a chain-mail bikini elf-knight in a brown paper bag. “I like pretty girls. My customers like pretty girls. Pretty girls sell games. It isn’t the job of the gaming industry to spread a social message and if these moral crusaders don’t like it, they don’t have to buy the game. Don’t restrict the free market, or freedom of expression.” 3. “Whatever Panty Theft Auto is doing is what we real men want!” squeaks nerdy 13-year old Iroh Thompson, stroking his caterpillar-like moustache as he sneaks the chainmail-elf picture into his own pocket. “If anything, we should apply this principle to every piece of media we make and import! Instead of making a censor board, you should have an UNcensor board! Give every female a huge pair... uh... personality! Add CGI cut-scenes where we can give these ladies what they need! Hell, make sure ALL media is as sexy as hell! Not only it would benefit us men, it would benefit the economy too!” 4. “The problem here isn’t some video games, it’s ALL video games,” observes disbarred attorney Tom Jackson, peering at you over a stack of lawsuit documents. “Video games keep kids - and adults for that matter - on the couch all day. They rot brains, cause moral decay and encourage violence. I’m not blaming kids here, I’m blaming the media we feed them: don’t hate the players, hate the game! Ban this trash, and get kids back outdoors playing healthy and wholesome games like mumbletypeg or pinfinger!” 5. Dismiss the Issue Programming Socks On? 1% loading... I just wanted to play video games. +300,000 polygons of virtual ass. Delete this object and its children. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) Issue No. 816: A Hot Topic The Issue: After the Junky Forestry Department started its controversial program of controlled fire - intentionally setting parts of forests aflame to remove fuel for larger wildfires - a fire started by the Forestry Department got a bit hotter than expected and sparked an evacuation of Northwest Bad Gateway 502. Debate Points: 1. “I just don’t see why this is being debated with such intensity,” yawns Yasuyuki Peña, an official in the Forestry Department, while casually flipping open a lighter. “Controlled burns are a proven way to reduce the severity and expense of wildfires. Fire is an element of many forests in the People's Republic of FunnyJunk; we’re just making sure it doesn’t get out of hand. I admit we didn’t do so hot with that last fire, but we’ll get better, I promise.” 2. “You can’t keep doing this!” coughs Cornelius Washington, asthmatic alderman representing Northwest Bad Gateway 502, while eyeing an unlit candle on your desk nervously. “The smoke from these ‘controlled fires’ is putting out tons of air pollution and inflaming my lungs. Besides, those bumbling amateurs in red almost ‘control burnt’ half my district down! Stop this program and focus on fighting fires.” 3. “Do I have a deal for you?” exclaims Big Ed Sharp, owner of Big Ed Sharp’s Chainsaw Emporium. “You have a bunch of brush and small trees that are fuel for a wildfire. I have chainsaws galore available at low, low prices. Just hire a bunch more forest rangers to go out there with chainsaws. It’ll be expensive and not as ‘natural’, whatever that means, but the mature trees in the forests will thrive and wildfires will be much less severe, without that nasty smoke!” 4. Dismiss the Issue Burn Out Paradise? We didn't end the fire. The city's been burning since the world's been turning. We didn't light it, but we tried to fight it. Dismiss. Vote! (View results) I've suddenly super sleepy now that the caffeine was run out and I'm pretty sure "dismiss" doesn't have 4 Es, so without national trivia or further ado, I bid you adieu. prevnext +8 -Favorite +Favorite Unblock User's Content Block User's Content Sub/Block Channels Funisvoting:UploadUnblockBlockSubUnsubsubs: 297
