Congratulations, everyone! If you're a regular to our FunnyJunk NationStates project, you've lasted all the way to our 100th post! If you're lucky enough to stumble upon this, you get to have a say in our future! I thought this would be a good time to look at how we started and question if we want a new look. After all this time, we've unlocked a lot of Banners and answered hundreds of Issues. My poll list can attest to that. I'd put how all our stats have grown, but then this would be hours behind schedule. Trust me, I've tried it before... Instead, I'll jump to the part where we first started making decisions.
FOUNDING:
Political Lean: Of the nine choices for the base stats corresponding to the nine extremes of the political compass, with a quarter of the votes, you all voted Centrist! That started us with nice even stats.
Q1: When asked whether a country should be judged by how it treats its worst off citizens, over a third of you voted to Agree, starting us with boosted Welfare, Education, Income Equality, and Inclusiveness!
Q2. When asked if corporations were good for society, most of you voted to Agree, boosting our Employment, Economic Output, Economic Freedom, and Average Income, but it also boosted Wealth Gaps.
Q3. When asked if marijuana should be legal, most of you said you Strongly Agree, increasing our Recreational Drug Use, Pizza Delivery, Civil Rights, Niceness, and Nudity. However, it also brought down our Law Enforcement, Lifespan, and Employment.
Q4. When asked if the world needed to rediscover spirituality, a majority of you voted to Disagree. It increased our Secularism and Scientific Advancement at the cost of some Spirituality.
Q5. When asked if young people should perform a compulsory year of military service, a lot of you said you Agree. That increased our Authoritarianism, Defense Forces, Social Conservatism, and brought Law Enforcement back up while reducing Youth Rebelliousness, but at the cost of some of our Political Freedom.
Q6. When asked if Capitalism was on its way out, a majority of you said you Disagree, over half! That boosted our Economic Output, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail stores.
Q7. When asked if democracy was worth keeping, a third of you said you Agree. That gave us a little help with our Political Freedom!
Q8. When asked if you'd rather deter criminals or rehabilitate them, a third of you said you Agree with deterrence. That increased Law Enforcement, Social Conservatism, and my favorite stat, Weaponization!
History: We were given nine different options for a possible origin story, and a quarter of you voted for Like-Minded Isolationists! That means our five million citizens all came together with the urge to escape their oppression, debts, and warrants tied to their homeland in the name of independence! This gave us our final base stat change, increasing our Intelligence and reducing our Taxation at the cost of increasing our Corruption and reducing Law Enforcement.
If you weren't here for the start, now you know where our starting stats came from! And now you know the people of FunnyJunk are secretly a people trying to escape an oppressive regime... Which is probably internet censorship in this case. Now let's take a look at what we've earned over these past few months!
POLICIES:
Governmental Policies
Proportional Representation: Votes translate linearly to elected representation, with no seats or electoral college,
Native Representation: Only native-born citizens may hold elected office.
Term Limits: Elected representatives must leave office after a legally mandated amount of time.
Societal Policies
Compulsory Organ Harvesting: Citizens have no say in the medical use of their bodies after death.
Vat-Produced Infants: Biological reproduction is prohibited.
Law & Order Policies
Capital Punishment: Citizens may be executed for crimes.
Conscription: A period of military service is compulsory for all citizens.
Economic Policies
Capitalism: Private industry is permitted within a market-based economy.
Cannabis: Cannabis may be legally purchased.
International Policies
No Immigration: Foreigners cannot become residents.
ACHIEVEMENTS:
Custom #1 Banner (Reach 50 million citizens.) [Glory to FunnyJunk]
Custom #1 Banner (Reach 200 million citizens.) [Blank]
New Around Here (Found a nation!)
Peacekeepers (Build a military.)
Cracked (Have trouble attracting tourists.)
Red Dawn (Have a land-based animal.)
Keeper of the Flame (Support alternative religions.)
Slice of Life (Support the pizza industry.)
Treefall (Protect the land.)
Simple Life (Develop an issue with unemployment.)
Morning Calm (Achieve balance in all things.)
Modern Style (Develop clever citizens.)
Revolving (Explore alternative forms of energy.)
Kickball (Nurture a happy, free populace.)
Faces of the People's Republic of FunnyJunk #1 (Develop above average civil rights.)
Tall Timber (Develop a thriving timber industry.)
Vaults of Knowledge (Develop a thriving publishing industry.)
Foundry (Develop a solid industrial base.)
Trade Hub (Develop a broad industrial base.)
Giving Back (Extend your citizens' average lifespan beyond 70 years.)
National Pride (Enforce compulsory military service.)
Brave New World (Found a region.)
Oasis (Be a regional hermit.)
Seeing in the Dawn (Develop a population of at least 6 million citizens.)
Faces of the People's Republic of FunnyJunk #3 (Develop very good civil rights.)
Domed (Develop excellent political freedoms.)
A New Day (Change from one nation classification to another.)
Faces of the People's Republic of FunnyJunk #2 (Develop very good civil rights.)
Popular Uprising (Defend the right to protest.)
Pillar of Society (Grow the government.)
Needs of the Many (Enforce capital punishment.)
Windswept (Address six Issues.)
Vats Entertainment (Embrace vats.)
Jacked In (Embrace technology.)
All Available Space (Run a below-average but not terrible economy.)
Snowed In (Address ten issues.)
Light the Lamps (Become influential in a region.)
Mesa (Address 15 issues.)
Queen of the Hill (Address 30 issues.)
Making No Cents (Free yourself from the tyranny of coins.)
Sand and Rock (Attribute 1% of annual deaths to people getting lost in the wilderness.)
Outdoor Pursuits (Combine a healthy populace, civil rights, and an excellent environment.)
Dune (Enhance the environment by removing trees.)
Walking in Paradise (Develop an extremely good environment.)
On the Water (Prioritize the environment over the economy.)
Beached (Develop a compassionate populace in a nation with a good environment.)
Air and Glass (Develop a technologically literate populace that doesn't care that much.)
A Many Splendored Land (Address 50 issues.)
Export Sales (Develop a thriving industry.)
Shacked Up (Combine a good environment with below-average economy.)
River City (Combine 100 million citizens with a reasonable economy.)
The Fish Are Worth It (Support the fishing industry.)
Ocean Nova (Develop a world-class environment.)
Nice Part of Town (Get cultured.)
In My Sights (Support the right to bear arms.)
Vista (Be cultured.)
Crisp Morning (Address 75 issues.)
Cheeky (Take it all off.)
Listening In (Take a keen interest in what your citizens are doing.)
An Apple a Day (Encourage healthy eating.)
Defiance (Cultivate a nation of activists.)
Green is the Morrow (Address 100 issues.)
Tourist Destination (Develop a culture-based tourism industry.)
Platform for Expansion (Develop a very large industrial base.)
Thickening Blue Line (Boost the police force.)
Book Repository (Develop quality libraries.)
Stadium (Develop healthy citizens.)
Hiking (Leverage a beautiful environment into a thriving tourism industry.)
Retirement (Extend your citizens' average lifespan beyond 80 years.)
Server Room (Develop a strong technology industry.)
There Are Always More Questions (Become highly scientifically advanced.)
Rocky Endeavor (Address 150 issues.)
Power Grid (Boost education.)
On Rails (Provide substantial public transport.)
They Grow Up So Fast (Develop a good economy in a nation of 300 million citizens.)
Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted (Close the borders to immigration.)
Cavern (Give tourism a state-funded helping hand to promote an excellent environment.)
High-Density Culture (Show an appreciation for the finer things.)
Cultivated (Provide government support for parks and nature reserves.)
Clean and Green (Fund environmental initiatives.)
Happy Trails (Address 200 issues.)
Great Works (Be cultured and clever.)
Homeward, with Ripples (Develop a thriving tourism industry.)
Rush Hour (Develop a strong cattle industry.)
Incremental improvement (Develop a good economy in a nation of at least 200 million citizens.)
Since it's been 100 posts and we've gained some fresh new faces at least, this seems like the ideal time to start revamping the nation's appearances! This time, I plan on using the polls a little better to save some confusion. If you answer "Yes" to any of these questions, please make sure you either add a suggestion of your own in the comments or thumb up somebody who did submit a replacement. It's the only way I can count the votes. Also remember we can have two custom national banners right now, so I'll be picking two.
New National Flag?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current flag.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Regional Flag?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current flag.)
Vote!
(View results)
New National Banners?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current banners.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Regional Banner
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current banner.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Pretitle?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current pretitle.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Demonym?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current demonym.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Capital City?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current capital.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Motto?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current motto.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Leader?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current leader.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Currency?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current currency.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Animal?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current animal.)
Vote!
(View results)
New Religion?
Yes. (Vote by comment.)
No. (Keep current religion.)
Vote!
(View results)
I'll be posting the current entries in all these fields in the sticky comment I add below since those are collapsed by default, but also keep in mind you can see all of these fields from our homepages in the sticky comment too. Now that that's said and done... It wouldn't be an FJ Nation post if we didn't vote on some Issues, would it? That's right, we're playing with the past, present, and future all in one post! Since this is one HEAVY post, I'll be giving to the end of Friday for all the polls.
RESULTS:
Issue No. 1303: Amateur Hour
"College athletes are arrested for selling lemonade."
Issue No. 1372: Balls to All That
"Shirts-versus-skins games are now skins-versus-skins games."
"Icy Gaze" Banner Unlocked (Address 250 issues.)
ISSUES:
Issue No. 666: A Microchip on Your Shoulder
The Issue: Contactless payment, internet banking and robust consumer credit mechanisms are already making shopping easier than any time in history. However, a technology think tank is proposing that you could stimulate the economy by going one step further, with universal subcutaneous microchips linked to a national Junky Identity Database.
Debate Points:
1. Tadek Tenhorn, head of the think tank, is enthusiastic. “No need for wallets or purses any more: just walk out with the goods, and your credit account is updated! Also, you could link medical data, GPS-tracking, biometrics data... the benefits are legion! I mean, we’re not talking a barcode under your left eye or anything mad like that, just an unobtrusive digital implant, anywhere on the body. Oh brave new world, that has such gadgets in it!”
2. “We must reject the Junky Identity Database!” raves Barry Apollyon, leader of the People's Republic of FunnyJunk Resistance Against the Identity Database (PROF-RAID) campaign group. “In the name of ‘national security’, law-abiding citizens will end up being forced to lose their privacy. The right to use cash and hard currency is vital to protecting our rights to avoid taxat... uh... to avoid Orwellian monitoring!”
3. “That’s not enough!” screams conspiracy theorist Jonty Apostle, adjusting his tinfoil hat to keep radio waves out of his brain. “Do you know how many databases there are out there gathering intelligence on us all? Credit reports, search engine histories, e-mail archives, medical records, criminal records, driving licenses... All these little revelations, and you still think it’s crazy when I say that we’re always being watched? Leader, give people back their freedom! Ban government and corporations from tracking our data in any way!”
4. “Look, we want to keep tabs on our population, but do we really need to deal with all this outrage?” muses Lucy Fir, a promising junior delegate from the Ministry of Creative Solutions. “Why not secretly implant the microchips while people are still in the birthing vats? Sure, people won’t be able to shop with a chip that they don’t know is there, but in terms of national security and crime prevention, secret surveillance is far more effective than open monitoring.”
5. Dismiss the Issue
Tagged, You're It?
Give an arm or a leg for that kind of buying power.
Even astronauts use pencils.
Now you see me...
Now everyone sees me.
Dismiss.
Vote!
(View results)
Issue No. 447: Honey, We Hung the Parliament
The Issue: The recent national elections in the People's Republic of FunnyJunk saw declining support for the established parties and a big success for the unabashedly populist anarcho-communist party Death to the State. The extremist fringe party, despised by all other parties, gained a surprisingly high number of seats. The government is now in chaos as the more traditional parties scramble to block Death to the State from having any influence on the government.
Debate Points:
1. “This is a travesty!” exclaims Doris Carey, MP for the Progressive Traditionalists, who lost several seats in the election cycle. “These lunatics openly state that they will do anything in their power to incapacitate the Junky political system. We should ban anyone with a criminal record from running for political office. That’ll keep them out along with any other extremist and traitor with delusions of grandeur. I’m pretty sure I’m clean. Anyways, we’ll manage, I’d wager.”
2. “Are you insane? There’ll be no one left!” cries Jayamma Holt, a Member of Parliament for the Liberal Conservatives, speaking to their bitter rival for the first time in years. “Let’s strike a bargain, Leader, you and me, stating that the biggest political parties form the government. Your party still managed to come ahead, of course, but you need us to ensure your political survival. We’ll be happy to support your government provided there’s an equitable share of cabinet ministers, you compromise on the omnibus spending bill, and you keep some of your more radical party members in line.”
3. “What utter nonsense!” rebuffs Naki Peña, a former Member of Parliament who lost her seat to a suspected arsonist. “The only real solution is holding a new election whenever a stable government can’t be formed. The people of the People's Republic of FunnyJunk are smart; I’m sure they’ll realize what a mistake they made the first time around and restore the order of things. Doing the election over again will be costly, sure, but I really need this gig. I mean, the nation’s ability to be governed is at stake! Yes, that’s the one.”
4. “Or you just let us be a part of the government, or at least let be part of your group in Parliament,” says the belligerent William Washington, leader of Death to the State, his body covered in gang tattoos. “The people voted for us, after all, and this blatant disregard for the popular vote is shocking. We’ll want something in return for our support, of course, but we’re not greedy. Just implement some of our campaign promises about cleansing the state apparatus of the bourgeois plague of bureaucracy, and you’ll get your majority.”
5. Dismiss the Issue
Block Party?
FunnyJunk's Least Wanted.
Double cross the aisle.
An uncountable amount of recounts.
There's no government like no government.
Dismiss.
Vote!
(View results)
Issue No. 1423: A Slice of the Pie
The Issue: Recently, a tech firm from the United Federation used a network of computers and the latest algorithms to calculate pi to an incredible number of decimal places, smashing the previous world record by several orders of magnitude.
Debate Points:
1. “We can break that United Federation record right here in the People's Republic of FunnyJunk, I know it!” exclaims excitable mathematician Charlotte Rasputin, dancing around you with a manic look on her face. “All we need is a great big network of super-computers, with customised software, and a year or two of dedicated runtime. I’ve got some ideas for exciting new formulae that will make Chudnovsky look like a chump. I mean, what could be cooler than mathematics and computer programming?”
2. “Look, the pursuit of a list of numbers is just academic frippery and posturing,” moans knitwear-clad structural engineer Hector Woolf. “Even physicists don’t bother using values of pi to more than 160 decimal places, so there’s no practical purpose here. Government research and academic subsidies should be focused purely on subjects which have real-world applications and a sound case for projected economic or societal benefit. You know, like my underfunded research on drainage applications of composite 3D-printed concrete micro-structures with resin polymer interior scaffolding. It’s really fascinating stuff. Here, I wrote a paper on it...”
3. “Nerd alert!” yells former high school quarterback turned fry chef Marleen Ebert, shoulder barging between the two previous speakers, and knocking them to the ground. “Yeah! Feel that impact! Freight train comin’ through! Y’know, the best thing to do here is not to spend money on all this geek stuff at all. School of hard knocks, that’s the lesson plan these weaklings need!” She demonstrates with her fists.
4. “Honestly, I’ve never liked pi. It’s just so... irrational,” says Minister of Mathematical Certainty Eddie Goodwin. “Can’t we just legislate so that everybody in the People's Republic of FunnyJunk uses a Junky definition of pi? Let’s just say pi is 3.2. I mean, that’s true anyway for a given curvature of space-time. Just say 3.2, and leave it at that, eh?”
5. Dismiss the Issue
Circular Reasoning?
Harder, better, faster, longer.
I'll never need math in real life.
It's all Greek to me.
Circles are rounded.
Dismiss.
Vote!
(View results)
That sure went way too long, but I've finally finished the hundredth post and you have plenty of time to vote! And I only fell asleep at the computer twice! I'm glad you could all make it.
Of course, there's only one thing left. For today's national trivia, it's South Africa. I may be tired to remember anything out of the ordinary about South Africa, but according to this list, it's 100% illegal to wrestle a bear in South Africa. Why? I dunno. There's no bears in Africa. I'm assuming they'd like to keep it that way too.
