Big sad oofiamelloyelloAdjust content blockingContent Blocking nextrandomComment Prev Next Some of you know me, others don't. Some of us have had conversations in the comments-- I need to vent, I have never done this before. This is a weird way of me expressing and dealing with my anxiety. Not asking for thumbs-- Just needed to type something out and express word vomit. Suffocating, blinding, and emotionally demanding. I can always feel the thumping in my chest. My face gets hot, I can't think straight; it hurts. Like a tidal wave of emotions surrounding me constantly and I can't keep my head above water. It bothers me, everything does, the thoughts never stop and I can't help but think they're out to get me. Everyone. Blinded by the plethora of "what if's" and worst case scenarios. It's demanding of me but I never fight back, I always give in-- I always drown. It hurts, so why do I comply? The water fills my lungs and there is a weight on me that always drags me down. Sometimes the water subsides and I can breathe briefly, but it's only ever briefly. Some days are better than others-- sometimes there are drifters better off than I who give me a hand for a short while but I always fall back in the water. And that damn thumping in my chest, why can I always feel it? They must hate me for letting me fall back in the water, even though I know deep down I am the one who let myself fall back in. I can't breathe again, the water, it's rising once more. next +4 Submitted:01/16/2020 -Favorite +Favorite Unsub from iamelloyello Subscribe to iamelloyello Unblock User's Content Block User's Content FJ needs your help to survive! Be a hero, support FJ via Patreon: Receive hats, username change ability, no ads, colored text, and more.