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Failed Suicide Attempt

Not Today Motherfucker!

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Views: 47450
Favorited: 18
Submitted: 03/18/2013
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#5 - roguetrooper (03/19/2013) [+] (6 replies)
What an uncreative way to kill yourself.   
   
 I would make some bird wings I could wear, set myself on fire, then jump off a really high building while shouting,"I am the Phoenix! I will return!" Then as I fell to the ground and my body burned to ash, I would have my identical twin brother create a smoke screen to distract people, then take my place.   
   
People would say,"Oh my god sir, are you okay? Can I get you something?"   
   
Then my brother would stand up, turn to the crowd, and say,"I need about tree fiddy."   
   
It was about that time that everyone noticed that my identical twin brother was 500 feet tall and from the paleolithic era.
What an uncreative way to kill yourself.

I would make some bird wings I could wear, set myself on fire, then jump off a really high building while shouting,"I am the Phoenix! I will return!" Then as I fell to the ground and my body burned to ash, I would have my identical twin brother create a smoke screen to distract people, then take my place.

People would say,"Oh my god sir, are you okay? Can I get you something?"

Then my brother would stand up, turn to the crowd, and say,"I need about tree fiddy."

It was about that time that everyone noticed that my identical twin brother was 500 feet tall and from the paleolithic era.

User avatar #7 - lordmoldywart (03/19/2013) [+] (23 replies)
I'd beat the shit out of that guy, just enough so that he's in agony but doesn't die as a result of his injuries

Selfish, low-life fuck
#9 to #7 - anonymous (03/19/2013) [-]
No you wouldn't, i bet you're a typical nerdy middle-class white american who wears glasses and works in an office or school, you cant hurt anyone you soft cunt.
#25 - connorsg (03/19/2013) [-]
good on that truck driver, those are some legit reflexes, aint no one killing themselves on his watch. he aint got time for dat shit.
good on that truck driver, those are some legit reflexes, aint no one killing themselves on his watch. he aint got time for dat shit.
User avatar #19 - killerofmuffins (03/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
What an asshole, if the driver hadn't noticed him and ran that prick over that would be forever on his conscience.
#37 - anonymous (03/19/2013) [+] (5 replies)
hes not trying to kill himself, hes trying to get money out of an insurance scam
User avatar #39 to #37 - einhetvin (03/19/2013) [-]
"Hey they squashed my entire body and my guts are on the street, gimme money please."
#23 - mrswagly ONLINE (03/19/2013) [-]
I don't know if that was a suicide attempt or insurance fraud. Pic unrelated.
#44 - eruptinganus (03/19/2013) [+] (7 replies)
He wasn't trying to kill himself, he was trying to injure himself for insurance money. It happens in the uk as well. People intentionally get into car crashes to claim insurance cash.
User avatar #24 - sinonyx (03/19/2013) [-]
i prefer the one where the driver gets out and beats them
#36 - desa (03/19/2013) [-]
His face after.
User avatar #2 - happygrowman (03/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
bad luck brian tries to suicide, the truck stops and he get sued for life insurance fraud
#84 - epicfartguy (03/19/2013) [+] (2 replies)
#93 - anonymous (03/19/2013) [-]
Maybe he just found a penny
User avatar #70 - JohnTheRipper (03/19/2013) [-]
not killing himself. insurance fraud in russia. fucker was just trying to get some cash from a lawsuit. that's why everyone has a dash cam.
User avatar #18 - ctenop (03/19/2013) [-]
*Not today mothertrucker
#4 - tredbear (03/19/2013) [-]
**tredbear rolled a random image posted in comment #2 at One Night Stand ** <this is my Reaction to this post
#1 - karmakoala (03/19/2013) [-]
I guess you could say he trucked that up royal.
I guess you could say he trucked that up royal.
#85 - knitey (03/19/2013) [-]
Kind of asshole-ish done. If you're gonna kill yourself, don't put that shit on someone else's conscience that they killed someone.   
I mean come on.
Kind of asshole-ish done. If you're gonna kill yourself, don't put that shit on someone else's conscience that they killed someone.
I mean come on.
#61 - anonymous (03/19/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Wow what a fucking loser, he can't even kill himself. He fails at killing himself... fucking failure of a life.
#73 to #61 - anonymous (03/19/2013) [-]
And people like you are the reason people want to kill themselves.
User avatar #43 - kickassandchew (03/19/2013) [-]
This is the kinda thing that is making him want to kill himself... his own life failures...
#29 - EmulateSnes ONLINE (03/19/2013) [+] (2 replies)
kinda related.
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