witty title. description that makes you laugh.. "My advice to you is to get married: If you find a good wife you'l be happy; if not, you'l become a philosopher." -Socrates tags that are Not used properly
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Comments(146):

[ 146 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - burdensomebucket (01/12/2014) [-]
"My advice to you is to get married: If you find a good wife you'l be happy; if not, you'l become a philosopher."
-Socrates
#118 to #1 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
It's spelled you'll what the **** is wrong with you?
User avatar #123 to #1 - marsupilami (01/13/2014) [-]
"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."

H. L. Mencken
#79 to #1 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
Struggles of being an anon
User avatar #12 to #1 - brobathehutt (01/12/2014) [-]
I suddenly feel really really bad for Socrates, even if he was a giant jackass.
#13 to #12 - burdensomebucket (01/12/2014) [-]
He wasn't a jackass...
User avatar #67 to #13 - sirbutterballs (01/13/2014) [-]
We had a trial of Socrates re-enactment in our World's History class.

As defense I can safely say that ************ made it hard as hell to defend him because of the **** he said.
User avatar #76 to #13 - oceanfrank ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
he downgraded everyones knowledge to a point where they had no wisdom and that they were in fact too arrogant to see the faults in their society but instead of helping athens in a way that would actually be beneficial he simply found a way to piss people off and at the same time think about everything they've come to known. He was an asshole, but a good asshole.... he was a tight asshole.
User avatar #78 to #76 - burdensomebucket (01/13/2014) [-]
His point was that people who thought they were wise were incorrect, as those who are truly wise knew that there was always more to know in any given subject. People were upset over this paradoxical "being wise is being aware of your ignorance" because they took it as a direct insult to their intelligence.
And as for "simply pissing them off" he was trying to help Athens by making them question their states superiority complex. This was after the first Peloponnesian War when Athens thought it was their mission to forcefully unite the Hellenic people's under their increasingly tyrannical rule. Socrates was trying to drag Athens off its pedestal of "We're more powerful and wise than you" and improve their sense of morality and justice.
User avatar #81 to #78 - oceanfrank ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
yeah.. I dont know man philosophy was like... my 1st semester class I dont remember **** . All I know is reading Plato's Apology made me angry and at the same time made me think that I won't ever be good enough. I respect him for his way of thinking, that there is always more to learn which is true but he just came off as such a douchebag...
User avatar #82 to #81 - burdensomebucket (01/13/2014) [-]
I'l admit, he did have his moments.
I just prefer to think a man should be defined not by his few dickish moments but by his overall contribution to Athens, history, and mankind
User avatar #14 to #13 - brobathehutt (01/12/2014) [-]
He kind of was, unless I'm confusing him with Aristotle.
#36 to #14 - jaypaul (01/13/2014) [-]
He's wasn't a blatant asshole in the sense of running around and being a dick and insulting people and **** . All we know about his is what Plato wrote. He was just a smart ass who asked people questions they didn't have answers too, and they'd get annoyed, because he was basically destroying people illusions by showing them that they don't know what they claimed to know. The people around him who claimed they had a right to their moral authority we just ************ everyone, and they used their authority to put him to death (not a very moral thing, but that was just Socrates' point, that they had no objective moral authority). At least that's my take on him.
#73 to #36 - pkrbarmovie (01/13/2014) [-]
That's an image of Diogenes, by the way.
#141 to #73 - jaypaul (01/13/2014) [-]
Oh, you're right. I didn't realize that. Thanks. I didn't have any pics of Socrates, so I just grabbed the first seemingly relevant one I could find on teh webz. Here, take this.
#145 to #141 - pkrbarmovie (01/14/2014) [-]
This painting is rather beautiful.
User avatar #15 to #14 - burdensomebucket (01/12/2014) [-]
Socrates was the guy who questioned the "might makes right" dogma of Athens at the time, and attempted to improve their sense of justice. Thusly he was accused of "Corrupting the youth of Athens" as well as not believing in the state religion and sentanced to drink a cup of poison.
User avatar #19 to #15 - brobathehutt (01/12/2014) [-]
Oh ok I'm thinking of Aristotle.
User avatar #21 to #19 - bodasion (01/13/2014) [-]
No, you're thinking of Socrates. He was known as the "gadfly of Athens," which is a really nice way of saying "asshole." We use the really nice way of saying it because we have come to see him as a major contributor to the way we think, even this many thousands of years later.

User avatar #22 to #21 - brobathehutt (01/13/2014) [-]
Hold on a second. Which one was the one who made ridiculous claims about science and basically ****** science over for a while because their opinion was held in high regard even though in reality they didn't know the first thing about science?
User avatar #23 to #22 - bodasion (01/13/2014) [-]
Well, they existed during the Bronze Age, so none of 'em were gonna get much about science correct.

"The one who made ridiculous claims about science and basically ****** science over for a while" describes just about every human before 1850 and about 70% of all humans ever since. I really have no idea who you might be referring to based on what you wrote.

I do know that I have a rather lower opinion of Plato than I do of Socrates or Aristotle, so I'll just assume you mean Plato.
User avatar #25 to #23 - brobathehutt (01/13/2014) [-]
I do not think it's Plato, it could be but I do not think it is, anyway one of those 3 philosophers took the completely wrong stance on a scientific issue because it was the easy stance even though it had no evidence to back it up while the other side had some evidence. By taking that stance the philosopher basically set science back a while because everyone believed him and the other side was basically told to **** off.
#74 to #25 - pkrbarmovie (01/13/2014) [-]
Yes, you're referring to Aristotle.

He did **** up science a little, but he wrote some very interesting works on ethics and on the aesthetics of drama.
#41 to #25 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
You're probably thinking about Socrates. When Democritus proposed the idea of atoms, Socrates dismissed it as garbage and set us back 2000 years.
User avatar #26 to #25 - bodasion (01/13/2014) [-]
Until you give me a single specific detail, I wouldn't know one way or the other.
User avatar #28 to #26 - burdensomebucket (01/13/2014) [-]
It was Artistotle... He had some correct theories about Physics but he also said some really wacky things, like an arrow maintains its velocity after its fired because the air behind it pushes it along.
User avatar #124 to #12 - Her (01/13/2014) [-]
He wasn't a jackass so much as an anti-ignorant asshole.
Either way you make it sound like a bad thing.
User avatar #142 to #124 - brobathehutt (01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah he was, he ****** over science when he said that the theory of the atom was ********* . Kind of a dick move.
#2 - ferndizzle (01/12/2014) [-]
for the slow internet one.
for the slow internet one.
User avatar #55 to #2 - thunderdownunder (01/13/2014) [-]
I'm sure i'd laugh if i could load the gif.
#64 - zombiefeelings (01/13/2014) [-]
mfw relationship advice posted on FJ
mfw relationship advice posted on FJ
#4 - anon (01/12/2014) [-]
My cousin's husband walked out on her and their three kids yesterday for another woman. Two of the kids are mildly special needs. They never fought, and I always thought they were happy. This post makes me sad.. No amount of comedic quotes can undo this..
User avatar #38 to #4 - Pwnisher (01/13/2014) [-]
they were special needs, i wonder why he walked out...
User avatar #50 to #38 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
so since their kids didn't come out perfect he gets to drop all his responsibility?
User avatar #52 to #50 - Pwnisher (01/13/2014) [-]
i can't blame him.. i kinda would too
User avatar #53 to #52 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
Then please don't reproduce.
User avatar #83 to #53 - Pwnisher (01/13/2014) [-]
i actually dont plan to..

but i honestly dont care if you think im a bad person or not, i could live with people hating me, but i cant live with a miserable life
User avatar #113 to #83 - professorbob (01/13/2014) [-]
But the question is, could your family?
#110 to #4 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
Couples never fighting is often a bad sign.
It usually means they don't discuss any issues.
User avatar #10 to #4 - memeinmycoffee (01/12/2014) [-]
**** happens, man. He was probably under a lot of stress.

My advice is to try to see it from his perspective and to not hate him for it.
User avatar #54 to #10 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
So if the wife to be with another man had left her husband for him to raise the 3 kids with 2 of them mildly disabled, you would feel the same?
User avatar #56 to #54 - memeinmycoffee (01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, of course. This isn't a sex-based decision. This is a role as a parent and being a person with your own needs, not being a mother or father independently.

I don't see how that's even a question.
User avatar #57 to #56 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
Once you decide to become a mother/ father it's not all about you anymore. When he left he didn't just leave the mother heartbroken, but he broke the children's hearts too. And he didn't just leave, he had an affair first (assuming this since he had another woman lined up) then left.
User avatar #69 to #57 - memeinmycoffee (01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, and sometimes people think that they can handle that, and then they can't. I'm not saying that he did a good thing, just that it's what he did and it wouldn't be right to call him out as a bad person just because of that.
User avatar #71 to #69 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
So if he couldn't handle raising the kids with her what makes him think she can do it on her own? That seems very selfish/
User avatar #80 to #71 - memeinmycoffee (01/13/2014) [-]
I never said it wasn't selfish.

Have you ever been working on a group project in school with someone you don't get along with? Or where you know it's not gonna work if you try to split it up equally? And then someone gets stuck doing all the work? It's like that, but more serious.

See comment #51 for my reasoning behind it being a potentially more helpful decision for their futures. It's why people get divorced, because they don't want to be with someone. Better to have a functional one parent or step-family than to have a dysfunctional nuclear one.
User avatar #86 to #80 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
I just can't justify leaving your wife and kids (dropping your responsibilities because being an adult is hard) for someone else. I could maybe see if he wanted custody of his kids and just didn't love the wife, but it's not the children's fault they were born that way. The kids also didn't ask to be born, so before they brought them into this world they should have been 1000% sure they could raise them.

A true parent loves their child no matter what.
User avatar #93 to #86 - Pwnisher (01/13/2014) [-]
Exactly, the kids didnt ask to be born. I suggest they would be killed at birth considering the major disabilities they have.

Im pretty sure the father was like "ok, lets hope this time our kid isnt a downey" and when he found out he had another potatoe to raise, he was like " **** it, im out."

i really cant see how you can blame him. How would you feel raising mindless zombies that cant do nothing productive besides **** themselves.

For the sake of everyone, jsut let the kid die in peace.
User avatar #89 to #86 - memeinmycoffee (01/13/2014) [-]
Again, I'm not saying it was a good decision, or the right decision, just you can't demonize people who do this kind of thing because they can't handle their own life. Some people just think they can handle it but then they realize they can't and it's just one of those things that happens in life. Not everything is black and white, not every antagonist is a bad guy.

Then again, maybe he is and this is just another bad thing he's done. I'm just really saying to people in general to not judge people based on a bad thing they've done. You have to know their intentions and such.
User avatar #91 to #89 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
Well then I respectfully disagree. I just don't understand how you could leave your kids like that.
User avatar #108 to #91 - memeinmycoffee (01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, for your sake, I kinda hope you never really do.

I know because I've been in that situation (not on this scale) and it does suck to be that guy but the last thing you want is for people to hate you because of it. Everyone needs to be accepted and all I'm saying is if he told his story to me, I wouldn't hate him for that.
User avatar #85 to #57 - Pwnisher (01/13/2014) [-]
i honestly think they should have put the 2 kids up for adoption, that would be the smartest thing to do. let them be someone elses problem whos professionally certified to work with them...
User avatar #88 to #85 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
How a child is raised will drastically effect their future. Don't **** up someone else's life because you're a dickhole.
User avatar #92 to #88 - Pwnisher (01/13/2014) [-]
How could you raise a child with downsyndrome? Its not like they have the ability to be the next hitler. They are completely useless... come on, use your brain.
User avatar #87 to #85 - hoponthefeelstrain (01/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you heartless? Like I said earlier please don't reproduce because you're selfish and have no compassion.
User avatar #90 to #87 - Pwnisher (01/13/2014) [-]
I believe i have different views from you, and if you consider me to be selfish, so be it. In my eyes, i see my decision to be the most beneficial to bringing me happiness in my life.

But to the topic of mentally handicapped or in more clear terms, retardedness. I believe if the child is born with downsyndrome at birth, they should be offered free assisted suicide.

This would be good for everyone, including that poor soul that is going to get tortured slowly through society.

I find people who think otherwise, sick. absolutely sick. Just kill the poor thing and put them out of their misery than drag it through this hell-hole we call "life"
#24 to #10 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
are you seriously trying to ******* defend him?
User avatar #51 to #24 - memeinmycoffee (01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, because I've made bad decisions and been in similar situations and I know I'm not a bad person.

Saying someone's a terrible person because they've done a bad thing is flawed reasoning. Yeah it sucks for the wife but, we don't know how the husband felt.
Look at it this way? Is it better for the wife to raise three kids with a dad who doesn't wanna be there and whose heart isn't in it or to have a chance at finding someone who loves her at this point in her life and is willing to carry that burden?
#65 to #51 - gloriousthighs (01/13/2014) [-]
You are quite right.
#5 to #4 - mixedfeelings (01/12/2014) [-]
log in and say that to my face
User avatar #35 to #4 - burdensomebucket (01/13/2014) [-]
Hang in there, lil *****
User avatar #6 - turian (01/12/2014) [-]
wtf is a emoji?
User avatar #7 to #6 - dialup (01/12/2014) [-]
that is the name given to the combination of characters that make faces when viewed sideways 8D
#17 to #6 - saxong (01/12/2014) [-]
Emoji is an app for iphones and I would assume other smartphones that has a variety of emoticons within it, see attached.
User avatar #59 to #6 - freakyorange ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
These:


User avatar #9 to #6 - PVTDickStryker (01/12/2014) [-]
Some ******** inability to say "emoticon"
#115 to #9 - AdamBaum (01/13/2014) [-]
Emoji is the Japanese term for the ideograms or smileys used in Japanese electronic messages and webpages, and which are spreading outside Japan.

Although originally only available in Japan, some emoji character sets have been incorporated into Unicode, allowing them to be used elsewhere as well. As a result, some phones such as Windows Phone 7 line and the iPhone allow access to the symbols without requiring a Japanese carrier.

"Some ******** inability to say "emoticon". "

I might be wrong, but I'm feeling a very cynical bastard vibe from you, someone who feels is above soceity, someone who dislikes popular terms/trends/devices/media.
User avatar #143 to #115 - PVTDickStryker (01/13/2014) [-]
Not quite. I dont believe im above society, and if I hated popular things just because theyre popular, I wouldnt have an Iphone myself, and Im still standing by my statement. Why use a japanese term for something that has an english term when you're communicating in english? I honestly dont give a **** about the app, but when people start calling every single ******* emoticon emojis, thats when my panties take a quantum shift. Take a look at freakyorange up above and ****** #8 down there, theyre ******* calling these emoticons emojis.
User avatar #144 to #143 - AdamBaum (01/13/2014) [-]
I guess they think Emoji sounds cool or fun? People love Japanese crap. Either way you look at it they're still smiley faces. You shouldn't get so worked up over such trivial things. But hey it's the internet, people will write an essay proposing their love for MLP. Anything goes.
User avatar #16 to #9 - newtamalego (01/12/2014) [-]
Or, they were referring to how on apple devices the keyboard for emoticons is called emoji.
User avatar #18 to #16 - PVTDickStryker (01/12/2014) [-]
Im aware of that, I just dont get why the dev decided to try to be original and try to give a name to something that already has a name. Its like if someone made a cheesy knife called a nifee, then all of a sudden everyone starts calling knives nifees.
0
#146 to #18 - freakyorange has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #96 to #18 - pokemonstheshiz ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
not all of them are emoticons. they have lots of random **** too
User avatar #20 to #18 - newtamalego (01/12/2014) [-]
No, I agree that they're wrong, I was just suggesting an idea on why they might have said that.
#95 - dogeate (01/13/2014) [-]
the will ferrel one is actually very very true.
#98 to #95 - kwag (01/13/2014) [-]
This man shall not find love soon then.
#101 to #98 - dogeate (01/13/2014) [-]
that was me today when i was told i had too much RAM for this wireless adapter to work
User avatar #102 to #101 - kwag (01/13/2014) [-]
HA!
#103 to #102 - dogeate (01/13/2014) [-]
i did not think that was even possible
User avatar #104 to #103 - kwag (01/13/2014) [-]
Likewise
#30 - unholyjebus (01/13/2014) [-]
Why don't I get most of these jokes? They just seem like random words slapped together into a sentence. Am I having a stroke or something?
User avatar #31 to #30 - lolfire (01/13/2014) [-]
News Reporter Has a Stroke on Live TV
User avatar #34 to #30 - footballmaniac (01/13/2014) [-]
Possibly. Is your lip drooping?
#32 to #30 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
Because you have never had a long term relationship. That's why you don't get it.
#117 - triplexrated **User deleted account** (01/13/2014) [-]
#130 - fathis (01/13/2014) [-]
My Internet has always been slow joke's on you...

On a related note: You merely adopted the internet: I was born in the 56k era; molded by it - it wasn't until university that I saw the light of the ADSL router...
User avatar #136 to #130 - serterazi (01/13/2014) [-]
I'm there with you bro,
remember the panic of download fail at 99% (the whole thing was like 4 megabytes)
User avatar #138 to #136 - fathis (01/13/2014) [-]
Loading images....
1.5k ms World of Warcraft
Satellite dishes to hope improve connection
Driving to your friend's place to play videogames/download **** ... Taking your whole desktop with you...

DUN DUN DUN
#139 to #138 - serterazi (01/13/2014) [-]
today kids will laugh at these
#125 - expressway (01/13/2014) [-]
But I like the David Bowie parts...
User avatar #120 - marconde ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
**marconde rolled user marcinthedarc ** I love you
User avatar #116 - lemurlemur (01/13/2014) [-]
omg will ferrel does standup i have to have more of this
User avatar #121 to #116 - EnergizierAnon (01/13/2014) [-]
in a horrified tone omg will ferrel does stand up, i have to hate him even more.
User avatar #147 to #121 - lemurlemur (01/15/2014) [-]
wut
#3 - anon (01/12/2014) [-]
chelsea perreti is the least funny popular comedian in the world, case in point, also op is a faggot for putting her on a list full of actually talented people
User avatar #29 to #3 - deathsn (01/13/2014) [-]
But she's hot.
User avatar #114 to #3 - avatarsarefornoobs ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
Louis CK sucks ass too. but dont blame OP for putting him on their either, they are all fairly funny quotes even if not all of the comedians are stellar.
#33 to #3 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
You misspelled Mindy Kaling.
User avatar #94 - bigsteamingpile (01/13/2014) [-]
Chelsea Peretti is ******* gorgeous
User avatar #133 to #94 - Lewx (01/13/2014) [-]
i love her in Brooklyn Nine Nine
#97 to #94 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
but shes not funny at all
User avatar #119 to #97 - StickyTissueLoLz (01/13/2014) [-]
Recipe for a female comedian.
User avatar #99 to #97 - bigsteamingpile (01/13/2014) [-]
Obviously. That's why she has to be pretty.
User avatar #109 to #97 - cubanwhiteman (01/13/2014) [-]
Yes she is, dude. She's jewish. Jews are comedians for some reason by default.
#40 - upyoursnumbnuts (01/13/2014) [-]
Louis c.k. Should be taken into a dark alley to be raped, shot thn have his bullet holes raped. I hate that as man as much as I hate Justin beiber.
User avatar #42 to #40 - ainsley (01/13/2014) [-]
why
#43 to #40 - swagbot (01/13/2014) [-]
gr8 b8 m8 8/8
#44 to #43 - upyoursnumbnuts (01/13/2014) [-]
No bait. I seriously hate the ************ . His comedy sucks and he's a terrible human being.
User avatar #49 to #44 - leonhardt (01/13/2014) [-]
I'm sure he thinks you're a piece of **** , too.
#46 to #44 - swagbot (01/13/2014) [-]
Well, to each their own.

have a +1.

Please don't be so militant next time.
User avatar #127 to #44 - infamoustrapper (01/13/2014) [-]
What is up with your username...it looks purple almost
User avatar #129 to #127 - yojo (01/13/2014) [-]
it is. Really old accounts are purple now.
User avatar #131 to #129 - infamoustrapper (01/13/2014) [-]
As of when?
User avatar #132 to #131 - yojo (01/13/2014) [-]
I noticed it yesterday but it has probably been 2 or 3 days.
User avatar #100 to #40 - kwag (01/13/2014) [-]
Calm down Satan
User avatar #112 to #40 - avatarsarefornoobs ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
you'd probably get more respect if you werent so extreme.

i dont like him either, his comedy is **** . but i dont think there needs to be any bullet hole raping involved.
#60 to #40 - xcoreyx (01/13/2014) [-]
You could slit your on throat with something that edgy.
#61 to #60 - xcoreyx (01/13/2014) [-]
*own
dammit
#45 to #40 - detoxpain ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
The edge is an intense place
User avatar #62 to #45 - gwlk (01/13/2014) [-]
Tell that to Bono.
User avatar #63 to #62 - detoxpain ONLINE (01/13/2014) [-]
lol
#137 - evanxzile (01/13/2014) [-]
Louis got it.
#134 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
<p align=center><a target=_blank href= You need to login to view this link border=0 src= You need to login to view this link
#126 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #128 to #126 - cumsinbucket (01/13/2014) [-]
why the infamous halloween background
#107 - goodmourning (01/13/2014) [-]
I guess you can say the title is really smart! LOL
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