witty title. description that makes you laugh.. "My advice to you is to get married: If you find a good wife you'l be happy; if not, you'l become a philosopher." -Socrates tags that are Not used properly
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#1 - burdensomebucket
Reply +252
(01/12/2014) [-]
"My advice to you is to get married: If you find a good wife you'l be happy; if not, you'l become a philosopher."
-Socrates
#123 to #1 - marsupilami
Reply -1
(01/13/2014) [-]
"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."

H. L. Mencken
#79 to #1 - anon
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Struggles of being an anon
#118 to #1 - anon
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
It's spelled you'll what the **** is wrong with you?
#70 to #1 - scootalooisyourgod
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
#12 to #1 - brobathehutt
Reply +24
(01/12/2014) [-]
I suddenly feel really really bad for Socrates, even if he was a giant jackass.
#13 to #12 - burdensomebucket
Reply +10
(01/12/2014) [-]
He wasn't a jackass...
#67 to #13 - sirbutterballs
Reply +9
(01/13/2014) [-]
We had a trial of Socrates re-enactment in our World's History class.

As defense I can safely say that ************ made it hard as hell to defend him because of the **** he said.
#76 to #13 - oceanfrank ONLINE
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
he downgraded everyones knowledge to a point where they had no wisdom and that they were in fact too arrogant to see the faults in their society but instead of helping athens in a way that would actually be beneficial he simply found a way to piss people off and at the same time think about everything they've come to known. He was an asshole, but a good asshole.... he was a tight asshole.
#78 to #76 - burdensomebucket
Reply +5
(01/13/2014) [-]
His point was that people who thought they were wise were incorrect, as those who are truly wise knew that there was always more to know in any given subject. People were upset over this paradoxical "being wise is being aware of your ignorance" because they took it as a direct insult to their intelligence.
And as for "simply pissing them off" he was trying to help Athens by making them question their states superiority complex. This was after the first Peloponnesian War when Athens thought it was their mission to forcefully unite the Hellenic people's under their increasingly tyrannical rule. Socrates was trying to drag Athens off its pedestal of "We're more powerful and wise than you" and improve their sense of morality and justice.
#81 to #78 - oceanfrank ONLINE
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
yeah.. I dont know man philosophy was like... my 1st semester class I dont remember ****. All I know is reading Plato's Apology made me angry and at the same time made me think that I won't ever be good enough. I respect him for his way of thinking, that there is always more to learn which is true but he just came off as such a douchebag...
#82 to #81 - burdensomebucket
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
I'l admit, he did have his moments.
I just prefer to think a man should be defined not by his few dickish moments but by his overall contribution to Athens, history, and mankind
#14 to #13 - brobathehutt
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
He kind of was, unless I'm confusing him with Aristotle.
#36 to #14 - jaypaul ONLINE
Reply +16
(01/13/2014) [-]
He's wasn't a blatant asshole in the sense of running around and being a dick and insulting people and ****. All we know about his is what Plato wrote. He was just a smart ass who asked people questions they didn't have answers too, and they'd get annoyed, because he was basically destroying people illusions by showing them that they don't know what they claimed to know. The people around him who claimed they had a right to their moral authority we just ************ everyone, and they used their authority to put him to death (not a very moral thing, but that was just Socrates' point, that they had no objective moral authority). At least that's my take on him.
#73 to #36 - pkrbarmovie
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
That's an image of Diogenes, by the way.
#141 to #73 - jaypaul ONLINE
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
Oh, you're right. I didn't realize that. Thanks. I didn't have any pics of Socrates, so I just grabbed the first seemingly relevant one I could find on teh webz. Here, take this.
#145 to #141 - pkrbarmovie
Reply +1
(01/14/2014) [-]
This painting is rather beautiful.
#15 to #14 - burdensomebucket
Reply +4
(01/12/2014) [-]
Socrates was the guy who questioned the "might makes right" dogma of Athens at the time, and attempted to improve their sense of justice. Thusly he was accused of "Corrupting the youth of Athens" as well as not believing in the state religion and sentanced to drink a cup of poison.
#19 to #15 - brobathehutt
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
Oh ok I'm thinking of Aristotle.
#21 to #19 - bodasion
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
No, you're thinking of Socrates. He was known as the "gadfly of Athens," which is a really nice way of saying "asshole." We use the really nice way of saying it because we have come to see him as a major contributor to the way we think, even this many thousands of years later.

#22 to #21 - brobathehutt
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Hold on a second. Which one was the one who made ridiculous claims about science and basically ****** science over for a while because their opinion was held in high regard even though in reality they didn't know the first thing about science?
#23 to #22 - bodasion
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Well, they existed during the Bronze Age, so none of 'em were gonna get much about science correct.

"The one who made ridiculous claims about science and basically ****** science over for a while" describes just about every human before 1850 and about 70% of all humans ever since. I really have no idea who you might be referring to based on what you wrote.

I do know that I have a rather lower opinion of Plato than I do of Socrates or Aristotle, so I'll just assume you mean Plato.
#25 to #23 - brobathehutt
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
I do not think it's Plato, it could be but I do not think it is, anyway one of those 3 philosophers took the completely wrong stance on a scientific issue because it was the easy stance even though it had no evidence to back it up while the other side had some evidence. By taking that stance the philosopher basically set science back a while because everyone believed him and the other side was basically told to **** off.
#74 to #25 - pkrbarmovie
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Yes, you're referring to Aristotle.

He did **** up science a little, but he wrote some very interesting works on ethics and on the aesthetics of drama.
#41 to #25 - anon
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
You're probably thinking about Socrates. When Democritus proposed the idea of atoms, Socrates dismissed it as garbage and set us back 2000 years.
#26 to #25 - bodasion
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Until you give me a single specific detail, I wouldn't know one way or the other.
#28 to #26 - burdensomebucket
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
It was Artistotle... He had some correct theories about Physics but he also said some really wacky things, like an arrow maintains its velocity after its fired because the air behind it pushes it along.
#124 to #12 - Her
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
He wasn't a jackass so much as an anti-ignorant asshole.
Either way you make it sound like a bad thing.
#142 to #124 - brobathehutt
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah he was, he ****** over science when he said that the theory of the atom was *********. Kind of a dick move.
#6 - turian
Reply +27
(01/12/2014) [-]
wtf is a emoji?
#7 to #6 - dialup
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
that is the name given to the combination of characters that make faces when viewed sideways 8D
#8 to #6 - shitfacesteven
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
#17 to #6 - saxong
Reply +6
(01/12/2014) [-]
Emoji is an app for iphones and I would assume other smartphones that has a variety of emoticons within it, see attached.
#59 to #6 - freakyorange
Reply +10
(01/13/2014) [-]
These:


#105 to #59 - stigforprez
Reply +3
(01/13/2014) [-]
#9 to #6 - PVTDickStryker
Reply +170
(01/12/2014) [-]
Some ******** inability to say "emoticon"
#115 to #9 - AdamBaum
Reply +11
(01/13/2014) [-]
Emoji is the Japanese term for the ideograms or smileys used in Japanese electronic messages and webpages, and which are spreading outside Japan.

Although originally only available in Japan, some emoji character sets have been incorporated into Unicode, allowing them to be used elsewhere as well. As a result, some phones such as Windows Phone 7 line and the iPhone allow access to the symbols without requiring a Japanese carrier.

"Some ******** inability to say "emoticon". "

I might be wrong, but I'm feeling a very cynical bastard vibe from you, someone who feels is above soceity, someone who dislikes popular terms/trends/devices/media.
#143 to #115 - PVTDickStryker
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Not quite. I dont believe im above society, and if I hated popular things just because theyre popular, I wouldnt have an Iphone myself, and Im still standing by my statement. Why use a japanese term for something that has an english term when you're communicating in english? I honestly dont give a **** about the app, but when people start calling every single ******* emoticon emojis, thats when my panties take a quantum shift. Take a look at freakyorange up above and ****** #8 down there, theyre ******* calling these emoticons emojis.
#144 to #143 - AdamBaum
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
I guess they think Emoji sounds cool or fun? People love Japanese crap. Either way you look at it they're still smiley faces. You shouldn't get so worked up over such trivial things. But hey it's the internet, people will write an essay proposing their love for MLP. Anything goes.
#16 to #9 - newtamalego
Reply +6
(01/12/2014) [-]
Or, they were referring to how on apple devices the keyboard for emoticons is called emoji.
#18 to #16 - PVTDickStryker
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
Im aware of that, I just dont get why the dev decided to try to be original and try to give a name to something that already has a name. Its like if someone made a cheesy knife called a nifee, then all of a sudden everyone starts calling knives nifees.
#146 to #18 - freakyorange
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#96 to #18 - pokemonstheshiz
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
not all of them are emoticons. they have lots of random **** too
#20 to #18 - newtamalego
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
No, I agree that they're wrong, I was just suggesting an idea on why they might have said that.
#2 - ferndizzle
Reply +87
(01/12/2014) [-]
for the slow internet one.
for the slow internet one.
#55 to #2 - thunderdownunder
Reply +5
(01/13/2014) [-]
I'm sure i'd laugh if i could load the gif.
#40 - upyoursnumbnuts
Reply -34
(01/13/2014) [-]
Louis c.k. Should be taken into a dark alley to be raped, shot thn have his bullet holes raped. I hate that as man as much as I hate Justin beiber.
#42 to #40 - ainsley
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
why
#122 to #40 - dungledoo
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
#43 to #40 - swagbot
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
gr8 b8 m8 8/8
#44 to #43 - upyoursnumbnuts
Reply -3
(01/13/2014) [-]
No bait. I seriously hate the ************. His comedy sucks and he's a terrible human being.
#49 to #44 - leonhardt
Reply +4
(01/13/2014) [-]
I'm sure he thinks you're a piece of ****, too.
#46 to #44 - swagbot
Reply +3
(01/13/2014) [-]
Well, to each their own.

have a +1.

Please don't be so militant next time.
#127 to #44 - infamoustrapper
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
What is up with your username...it looks purple almost
#129 to #127 - yojo
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
it is. Really old accounts are purple now.
#131 to #129 - infamoustrapper
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
As of when?
#132 to #131 - yojo
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
I noticed it yesterday but it has probably been 2 or 3 days.
#100 to #40 - kwag
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
Calm down Satan
#112 to #40 - avatarsarefornoobs
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
you'd probably get more respect if you werent so extreme.

i dont like him either, his comedy is ****. but i dont think there needs to be any bullet hole raping involved.
#47 to #40 - rockerforlife
Reply +6
(01/13/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#60 to #40 - xcoreyx
Reply +8
(01/13/2014) [-]
You could slit your on throat with something that edgy.
#61 to #60 - xcoreyx
Reply +5
(01/13/2014) [-]
*own
dammit
#48 to #40 - tacticalbacon
Reply +11
(01/13/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#45 to #40 - detoxpain
Reply +61
(01/13/2014) [-]
The edge is an intense place
#62 to #45 - gwlk
Reply +5
(01/13/2014) [-]
Tell that to Bono.
#63 to #62 - detoxpain
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
lol
#64 - zombiefeelings
Reply +31
(01/13/2014) [-]
mfw relationship advice posted on FJ
mfw relationship advice posted on FJ
#30 - unholyjebus
Reply +13
(01/13/2014) [-]
Why don't I get most of these jokes? They just seem like random words slapped together into a sentence. Am I having a stroke or something?
#31 to #30 - lolfire
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
News Reporter Has a Stroke on Live TV
#32 to #30 - anon
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Because you have never had a long term relationship. That's why you don't get it.
#34 to #30 - footballmaniac
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Possibly. Is your lip drooping?
#95 - dogeate
Reply +8
(01/13/2014) [-]
the will ferrel one is actually very very true.
#98 to #95 - kwag
Reply +3
(01/13/2014) [-]
This man shall not find love soon then.
#101 to #98 - dogeate
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
that was me today when i was told i had too much RAM for this wireless adapter to work
#102 to #101 - kwag
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
HA!
#103 to #102 - dogeate
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
i did not think that was even possible
#104 to #103 - kwag
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
Likewise
#117 - triplexrated **User deleted account**
Reply +6
(01/13/2014) [-]
#4 - anon
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
My cousin's husband walked out on her and their three kids yesterday for another woman. Two of the kids are mildly special needs. They never fought, and I always thought they were happy. This post makes me sad.. No amount of comedic quotes can undo this..
#38 to #4 - Pwnisher
Reply -5
(01/13/2014) [-]
they were special needs, i wonder why he walked out...
#50 to #38 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +4
(01/13/2014) [-]
so since their kids didn't come out perfect he gets to drop all his responsibility?
#52 to #50 - Pwnisher
Reply -5
(01/13/2014) [-]
i can't blame him.. i kinda would too
#53 to #52 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +5
(01/13/2014) [-]
Then please don't reproduce.
#83 to #53 - Pwnisher
Reply -2
(01/13/2014) [-]
i actually dont plan to..

but i honestly dont care if you think im a bad person or not, i could live with people hating me, but i cant live with a miserable life
#113 to #83 - professorbob
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
But the question is, could your family?
#10 to #4 - memeinmycoffee
Reply 0
(01/12/2014) [-]
**** happens, man. He was probably under a lot of stress.

My advice is to try to see it from his perspective and to not hate him for it.
#54 to #10 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +4
(01/13/2014) [-]
So if the wife to be with another man had left her husband for him to raise the 3 kids with 2 of them mildly disabled, you would feel the same?
#56 to #54 - memeinmycoffee
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, of course. This isn't a sex-based decision. This is a role as a parent and being a person with your own needs, not being a mother or father independently.

I don't see how that's even a question.
#57 to #56 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +4
(01/13/2014) [-]
Once you decide to become a mother/ father it's not all about you anymore. When he left he didn't just leave the mother heartbroken, but he broke the children's hearts too. And he didn't just leave, he had an affair first (assuming this since he had another woman lined up) then left.
#69 to #57 - memeinmycoffee
Reply -1
(01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, and sometimes people think that they can handle that, and then they can't. I'm not saying that he did a good thing, just that it's what he did and it wouldn't be right to call him out as a bad person just because of that.
#71 to #69 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +4
(01/13/2014) [-]
So if he couldn't handle raising the kids with her what makes him think she can do it on her own? That seems very selfish/
#80 to #71 - memeinmycoffee
Reply -1
(01/13/2014) [-]
I never said it wasn't selfish.

Have you ever been working on a group project in school with someone you don't get along with? Or where you know it's not gonna work if you try to split it up equally? And then someone gets stuck doing all the work? It's like that, but more serious.

See comment #51 for my reasoning behind it being a potentially more helpful decision for their futures. It's why people get divorced, because they don't want to be with someone. Better to have a functional one parent or step-family than to have a dysfunctional nuclear one.
#86 to #80 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
I just can't justify leaving your wife and kids (dropping your responsibilities because being an adult is hard) for someone else. I could maybe see if he wanted custody of his kids and just didn't love the wife, but it's not the children's fault they were born that way. The kids also didn't ask to be born, so before they brought them into this world they should have been 1000% sure they could raise them.

A true parent loves their child no matter what.
#89 to #86 - memeinmycoffee
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Again, I'm not saying it was a good decision, or the right decision, just you can't demonize people who do this kind of thing because they can't handle their own life. Some people just think they can handle it but then they realize they can't and it's just one of those things that happens in life. Not everything is black and white, not every antagonist is a bad guy.

Then again, maybe he is and this is just another bad thing he's done. I'm just really saying to people in general to not judge people based on a bad thing they've done. You have to know their intentions and such.
#91 to #89 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
Well then I respectfully disagree. I just don't understand how you could leave your kids like that.
#108 to #91 - memeinmycoffee
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, for your sake, I kinda hope you never really do.

I know because I've been in that situation (not on this scale) and it does suck to be that guy but the last thing you want is for people to hate you because of it. Everyone needs to be accepted and all I'm saying is if he told his story to me, I wouldn't hate him for that.
#93 to #86 - Pwnisher
Reply -2
(01/13/2014) [-]
Exactly, the kids didnt ask to be born. I suggest they would be killed at birth considering the major disabilities they have.

Im pretty sure the father was like "ok, lets hope this time our kid isnt a downey" and when he found out he had another potatoe to raise, he was like "**** it, im out."

i really cant see how you can blame him. How would you feel raising mindless zombies that cant do nothing productive besides **** themselves.

For the sake of everyone, jsut let the kid die in peace.
#85 to #57 - Pwnisher
Reply -2
(01/13/2014) [-]
i honestly think they should have put the 2 kids up for adoption, that would be the smartest thing to do. let them be someone elses problem whos professionally certified to work with them...
#88 to #85 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
How a child is raised will drastically effect their future. Don't **** up someone else's life because you're a dickhole.
#92 to #88 - Pwnisher
Reply -2
(01/13/2014) [-]
How could you raise a child with downsyndrome? Its not like they have the ability to be the next hitler. They are completely useless... come on, use your brain.
#87 to #85 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +2
(01/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you heartless? Like I said earlier please don't reproduce because you're selfish and have no compassion.
#90 to #87 - Pwnisher
Reply -2
(01/13/2014) [-]
I believe i have different views from you, and if you consider me to be selfish, so be it. In my eyes, i see my decision to be the most beneficial to bringing me happiness in my life.

But to the topic of mentally handicapped or in more clear terms, retardedness. I believe if the child is born with downsyndrome at birth, they should be offered free assisted suicide.

This would be good for everyone, including that poor soul that is going to get tortured slowly through society.

I find people who think otherwise, sick. absolutely sick. Just kill the poor thing and put them out of their misery than drag it through this hell-hole we call "life"
#24 to #10 - anon
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
are you seriously trying to ******* defend him?
#51 to #24 - memeinmycoffee
Reply +3
(01/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, because I've made bad decisions and been in similar situations and I know I'm not a bad person.

Saying someone's a terrible person because they've done a bad thing is flawed reasoning. Yeah it sucks for the wife but, we don't know how the husband felt.
Look at it this way? Is it better for the wife to raise three kids with a dad who doesn't wanna be there and whose heart isn't in it or to have a chance at finding someone who loves her at this point in her life and is willing to carry that burden?
#65 to #51 - gloriousthighs
Reply +1
(01/13/2014) [-]
You are quite right.
#110 to #4 - anon
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Couples never fighting is often a bad sign.
It usually means they don't discuss any issues.
#35 to #4 - burdensomebucket
Reply +4
(01/13/2014) [-]
Hang in there, lil *****
#5 to #4 - mixedfeelings ONLINE
Reply +5
(01/12/2014) [-]
log in and say that to my face
#66 - greenstrongworld
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
I read from somewhere that a marriage has several stages.
1. You love each other and but you can deal with living without each other
2. You love each other but you can't live without your partner
3. You don't really love each other but you can't live without your partner
4. You don't love each other at all and you can't live without your partner due to finances but ehh **** it you're in a relationship and you're stuck with it.
#68 to #66 - secretlysuperman
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
Then whats the point of even getting married?
#72 to #68 - greenstrongworld
Reply +3
(01/13/2014) [-]
Masochism.
#84 to #68 - thewalruss
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
The problem is that nowadays marriage has become the objective and not the road. Thanks to the romanticism, love is completed with marriage. No one writes or talks about what happened after marriage because it is, under this perspective, unimportant. Therefore, marriage is no longer the next step on a relationship, but the end of it.
#111 to #84 - niggagary
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
So people shouldn't get married just because they don't want to end up divorced?
#140 to #111 - thewalruss
Reply 0
(01/13/2014) [-]
No, people should change their thoughts on marriage. That's all. I am pro-divorce. Why should anyone stay married to someone they don't love anymore? The thing is that some people get married without being really prepared.