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zergiel

Last status update:
-
Gender: male
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:4/24/2012
Last Login:8/27/2016
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#15595
Highest Content Rank:#2925
Highest Comment Rank:#3542
Content Thumbs: 773 total,  885 ,  112
Comment Thumbs: 1589 total,  1681 ,  92
Content Level Progress: 60% (6/10)
Level 67 Content: FJ Cultist → Level 68 Content: FJ Cultist
Comment Level Progress: 17% (17/100)
Level 214 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 215 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Content Views:59273
Times Content Favorited:102 times
Total Comments Made:1624
FJ Points:2097

  • Views: 5770
    Thumbs Up 23 Thumbs Down 8 Total: +15
    Comments: 6
    Favorites: 5
    Uploaded: 07/11/13
    The Face Upstairs The Face Upstairs
  • Views: 44375
    Thumbs Up 757 Thumbs Down 84 Total: +673
    Comments: 117
    Favorites: 97
    Uploaded: 12/08/13
    Smooth as fuck. Smooth as fuck.

latest user's comments

#83 - Oh... I forgot they are two different things, in spanish … 4 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... 0
#79 - Figures you would. The handles are 1,5 inches thick?…  [+] (3 new replies) 4 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... 0
User avatar
#84 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Nighty night
User avatar
#80 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
My vibrator, 9 inches long, is 1.5 inches thick, but my dildo, 8 inches long, is 2.5 inches thick
And the first time I used the dildo, it was my first real toy
So I just kinda lubed it up and shoved it in
User avatar
#83 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Oh... I forgot they are two different things, in spanish people rarely know the difference so I just use the terms interchangeably

Welp, Like CoC would say "Your anus is very loose"

I'm off to bed, nice talking to ya though, pretty interesting stuff
#76 - You are definitely a slut, corruption of champions must be lik…  [+] (5 new replies) 4 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... 0
User avatar
#77 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
I love that game
I use the handles. Screwdriver handles too
Also, it's 1.5 inches thick, but my dildo is 2.5 inches thick, so I use that one too sometimes
User avatar
#79 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Figures you would.
The handles are 1,5 inches thick? I meant my dick is 1,5 inches smaller in size, don't know girth I'm not that curious.
Nigga 2,5 inches thick, I'm a doctor and I don't even know if that's even safe for a vagina, let alone an asshole. But I guess with training and lube everything is possible
User avatar
#84 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Nighty night
User avatar
#80 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
My vibrator, 9 inches long, is 1.5 inches thick, but my dildo, 8 inches long, is 2.5 inches thick
And the first time I used the dildo, it was my first real toy
So I just kinda lubed it up and shoved it in
User avatar
#83 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Oh... I forgot they are two different things, in spanish people rarely know the difference so I just use the terms interchangeably

Welp, Like CoC would say "Your anus is very loose"

I'm off to bed, nice talking to ya though, pretty interesting stuff
#74 - Dear lord... the legends are true... But you have a GF no…  [+] (7 new replies) 4 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... +1
User avatar
#75 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
1
2
3
5
6
7 if you count my 9 inch vibrator
User avatar
#76 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
You are definitely a slut, corruption of champions must be like a holy grail of text based fetishes for you.
NIGGA I SAID THE WRENCHES AS A JOKE AS WELL, I ran out of household items I know normally girls use.
Like... how does that even work? The wrenches I mean. Have you gotten into an accident for experimenting?
Holy fuck, that's 1,5 inches more than my own fucking dick, I know for a fact that the fucker is not small. That's pretty impressive I'm not gonna lie
User avatar
#77 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
I love that game
I use the handles. Screwdriver handles too
Also, it's 1.5 inches thick, but my dildo is 2.5 inches thick, so I use that one too sometimes
User avatar
#79 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Figures you would.
The handles are 1,5 inches thick? I meant my dick is 1,5 inches smaller in size, don't know girth I'm not that curious.
Nigga 2,5 inches thick, I'm a doctor and I don't even know if that's even safe for a vagina, let alone an asshole. But I guess with training and lube everything is possible
User avatar
#84 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Nighty night
User avatar
#80 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
My vibrator, 9 inches long, is 1.5 inches thick, but my dildo, 8 inches long, is 2.5 inches thick
And the first time I used the dildo, it was my first real toy
So I just kinda lubed it up and shoved it in
User avatar
#83 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Oh... I forgot they are two different things, in spanish people rarely know the difference so I just use the terms interchangeably

Welp, Like CoC would say "Your anus is very loose"

I'm off to bed, nice talking to ya though, pretty interesting stuff
#72 - ... what? How the **** are you a virgin slut? Are you like a D… 4 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... 0
#67 - I've been told gay guys were some of the biggest sluts in this…  [+] (2 new replies) 5 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... 0
User avatar
#70 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Bis are bigger sluts on average
And I usually don't say anything, so people in the other room don't know I'm using my dildo
Still a virgin, somehow.
User avatar
#72 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
... what? How the fuck are you a virgin slut? Are you like a Dark messiah for sluts?
... So like... You have never had penis in vagina sex? You said you had anus getting fucked sex before right? How does virginity work for a bi? You need to lose both boy and girl virginities?
#11612 - WHAT UP MON AMI HOW'S IT GOING ON MATE LONG TIME NO TALK DO YO… 5 hours ago on feupy's profile 0
#62 - I know, you're like one of the only posters I recognize by nam…  [+] (4 new replies) 5 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... 0
User avatar
#64 - heartlessrobot (5 hours ago) [-]
I'm not surprised, I've been a major slut
User avatar
#67 - zergiel (5 hours ago) [-]
I've been told gay guys were some of the biggest sluts in this world, so that makes you... half gay? Do you say no homo when you getting fucked? Or do you say Half homo tho?
User avatar
#70 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Bis are bigger sluts on average
And I usually don't say anything, so people in the other room don't know I'm using my dildo
Still a virgin, somehow.
User avatar
#72 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
... what? How the fuck are you a virgin slut? Are you like a Dark messiah for sluts?
... So like... You have never had penis in vagina sex? You said you had anus getting fucked sex before right? How does virginity work for a bi? You need to lose both boy and girl virginities?
#60 - Interesting, so now that you have a gf do you like... practice…  [+] (6 new replies) 5 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... 0
User avatar
#61 - heartlessrobot (5 hours ago) [-]
My gf is definitely up to try pegging, though we're waiting for marriage.
Which is a shock to my friends on here, as I'm notoriously slutty.
User avatar
#62 - zergiel (5 hours ago) [-]
I know, you're like one of the only posters I recognize by name. You used to be more "open" about your sluttyness, maybe cause you posted more.
I remember once you wrote "I like girls but a dick in my ass feels SOOOO GOOD". and also "I squat at the gym so I can have a nice round ass" and then you said something about you wanting boys and girls to 'mire that ass.
So I kinda now, also you had before your current profile pic the pic of an anime girl moving her ass. I have a very detailed memory of useless shit, never tell your secrets to me cause I will never forget them
User avatar
#64 - heartlessrobot (5 hours ago) [-]
I'm not surprised, I've been a major slut
User avatar
#67 - zergiel (5 hours ago) [-]
I've been told gay guys were some of the biggest sluts in this world, so that makes you... half gay? Do you say no homo when you getting fucked? Or do you say Half homo tho?
User avatar
#70 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Bis are bigger sluts on average
And I usually don't say anything, so people in the other room don't know I'm using my dildo
Still a virgin, somehow.
User avatar
#72 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
... what? How the fuck are you a virgin slut? Are you like a Dark messiah for sluts?
... So like... You have never had penis in vagina sex? You said you had anus getting fucked sex before right? How does virginity work for a bi? You need to lose both boy and girl virginities?
#56 - You are the first actual bisexual male that I know of. Every d…  [+] (17 new replies) 5 hours ago on Random shit dump pt. 12 of... +1
User avatar
#73 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
I'm a virgin in every way.
My only experiences have been with dildos, and household objects.
Somehow I've never gotten laid. It's the funnyjunk curse.
User avatar
#74 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Dear lord... the legends are true...
But you have a GF now... that means there's a chance little nigga.
Ok I'm gonna make a list of household objects, and you are gonna tell me which one of them have gone into your ass
1) Shampoo bottle
2) Deodorant
3) wodden stick
4) Fire extinguisher
5) Small wrench
6) Big Wrench
7) Cockanator 2000 Dual wield model with hydraulic motor and 10 speeds with integrated gear shift that you can also fuck
User avatar
#75 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
1
2
3
5
6
7 if you count my 9 inch vibrator
User avatar
#76 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
You are definitely a slut, corruption of champions must be like a holy grail of text based fetishes for you.
NIGGA I SAID THE WRENCHES AS A JOKE AS WELL, I ran out of household items I know normally girls use.
Like... how does that even work? The wrenches I mean. Have you gotten into an accident for experimenting?
Holy fuck, that's 1,5 inches more than my own fucking dick, I know for a fact that the fucker is not small. That's pretty impressive I'm not gonna lie
User avatar
#77 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
I love that game
I use the handles. Screwdriver handles too
Also, it's 1.5 inches thick, but my dildo is 2.5 inches thick, so I use that one too sometimes
User avatar
#79 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Figures you would.
The handles are 1,5 inches thick? I meant my dick is 1,5 inches smaller in size, don't know girth I'm not that curious.
Nigga 2,5 inches thick, I'm a doctor and I don't even know if that's even safe for a vagina, let alone an asshole. But I guess with training and lube everything is possible
User avatar
#84 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Nighty night
User avatar
#80 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
My vibrator, 9 inches long, is 1.5 inches thick, but my dildo, 8 inches long, is 2.5 inches thick
And the first time I used the dildo, it was my first real toy
So I just kinda lubed it up and shoved it in
User avatar
#83 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
Oh... I forgot they are two different things, in spanish people rarely know the difference so I just use the terms interchangeably

Welp, Like CoC would say "Your anus is very loose"

I'm off to bed, nice talking to ya though, pretty interesting stuff
User avatar
#57 - heartlessrobot (5 hours ago) [-]
I actually do like both penis and vagina.
Though penis looks better to me
User avatar
#60 - zergiel (5 hours ago) [-]
Interesting, so now that you have a gf do you like... practice pegging or something?
I suppose someone who is attracted to both must probably have a craving for both penis and vagina.
I'm hetero, but I like to know about this things because I'm curious when it comes to people that like both sexes
User avatar
#61 - heartlessrobot (5 hours ago) [-]
My gf is definitely up to try pegging, though we're waiting for marriage.
Which is a shock to my friends on here, as I'm notoriously slutty.
User avatar
#62 - zergiel (5 hours ago) [-]
I know, you're like one of the only posters I recognize by name. You used to be more "open" about your sluttyness, maybe cause you posted more.
I remember once you wrote "I like girls but a dick in my ass feels SOOOO GOOD". and also "I squat at the gym so I can have a nice round ass" and then you said something about you wanting boys and girls to 'mire that ass.
So I kinda now, also you had before your current profile pic the pic of an anime girl moving her ass. I have a very detailed memory of useless shit, never tell your secrets to me cause I will never forget them
User avatar
#64 - heartlessrobot (5 hours ago) [-]
I'm not surprised, I've been a major slut
User avatar
#67 - zergiel (5 hours ago) [-]
I've been told gay guys were some of the biggest sluts in this world, so that makes you... half gay? Do you say no homo when you getting fucked? Or do you say Half homo tho?
User avatar
#70 - heartlessrobot (4 hours ago) [-]
Bis are bigger sluts on average
And I usually don't say anything, so people in the other room don't know I'm using my dildo
Still a virgin, somehow.
User avatar
#72 - zergiel (4 hours ago) [-]
... what? How the fuck are you a virgin slut? Are you like a Dark messiah for sluts?
... So like... You have never had penis in vagina sex? You said you had anus getting fucked sex before right? How does virginity work for a bi? You need to lose both boy and girl virginities?