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xdannytorchx

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xdannytorchx Avatar Level 234 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
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Gender: male
Age: 22
Date Signed Up:1/06/2011
Last Login:2/10/2013
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 63 total,  98 ,  35
Comment Thumbs: 3414 total,  4049 ,  635
Content Level Progress: 60% (3/5)
Level 2 Content: New Here → Level 3 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 13% (13/100)
Level 234 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz → Level 235 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
Subscribers:1
Content Views:1570
Times Content Favorited:6 times
Total Comments Made:727
FJ Points:3962
O Hai

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#2 - I thumbed this up for the Pink Floyd reference. 01/13/2013 on Silly vegetarians 0
#580 - Her face when someone explains her folly. 01/13/2013 on Ignorance is Bliss +6
#307 - By betraying the Empire we're betraying Talos? The Empire outl… 01/13/2013 on Skyrim Children +1
#52 - Somewhat related as well  [+] (4 new replies) 01/10/2013 on Skyrim Children +49
#239 - gargoylez (01/10/2013) [-]
#179 - spanishninja (01/10/2013) [-]
#66 - desacabose (01/10/2013) [-]
#59 - fuckinniggers (01/10/2013) [-]
dear god...
#49 - Am I the only one who adopted the two children orphaned by the…  [+] (36 new replies) 01/10/2013 on Skyrim Children +73
#267 - hungryforwords (01/10/2013) [-]
All this arguing about Skyrim's politics. This bickering wont get any of you into the Cloud District!
User avatar #293 - wheelsnipeparty (01/10/2013) [-]
oh manslayer
User avatar #183 - trollolololgabe (01/10/2013) [-]
your A DICK! :( Feels for the imperial kid...
#144 - impaledsandwich (01/10/2013) [-]
User avatar #176 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
stupid talos worshiping nord, Glorious Auri-El god
User avatar #255 - evilwheatleycore (01/10/2013) [-]
I don't follow any gods, but I believe in one's freedom to worship to there hearts desire, I believe this strongly. All Thalmor die on sight, even if their beliefs dictate there actions I will not stand idle as they as they strike down the brave souls who defy them. The Empire means nothing to me, I take no factions laws to heart, I simply remove the one treading on another's rights, if he will not be reasoned with. Do not think I smite blindly, I honor the dead or the soon be, lest they give away their humanity for power. For you, the people of Tamriel, I will fight to my last day, on my final breath I will defend those who cannot, through blood and war, negotiation and reason we can keep order by ourselves.

I am the knight, I am the hero Skyrim deserves!

I am the goddamn, mother fucking, ass kicking, troll biting, wolf punching, dragon slaying, Dovahkiin.
#297 - gladiuss (01/10/2013) [-]
User avatar #258 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
that's nice honey
User avatar #202 - Marker, master of the jews (01/10/2013) [-]
FOOL! SITHIS IS THE ONLY TRUE LORD!
User avatar #204 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
Hail Sithis
User avatar #207 - Marker, master of the jews (01/10/2013) [-]
Hail Sithis, Hail the Listener! All praise the Unholy Matron!
User avatar #73 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
Fuck you. I wasn't about to let you Stormcloak scum throw away that Tiber Septim worked so hard to build. Dirty Stormcloak scum. Glorious Imperial master race
#191 - justtocomment (01/10/2013) [-]
Whoa whoa hold the fuck on... Tiber Septim built an Empire to rival any before it. And then what do the Imperials do with it? They fucking forsake their belief in Talos. And why? Because some High Elf fuckwads decided they would invade? We put the life of one man above the beliefs and practices of an entire empire. Martin was emperor for less than a year, and even he knew his life was not to be put above the empire.
So we surrender to these fuckwads, despite having pushed them back. Despite the fact that Hammerfell is able to hold their own, and even a fractured Skyrim can keep the fight going, Cyrodil decides that it's worth giving up.
Tiber Septim would be ashamed to watch us surrender or beliefs to some Altmer scum. Skyrim is the birthplace of the empire. Talos is the man ascended to godhood for creating the empire. The Empire discarded Tiber Septim the moment they banned the open worship of Talos. The Empire threw away everything he worked to build by thinking that surrender was the course to take. While there were still men and women willing to fight and die to push back the threat of the Aldmeri Dominion, the empire surrendered to an enemy, and then gave way to their occupation. And you're dumber than a mudcrab if you think for a moment that those High Elf bastards haven't occupied.
I spit on your "Empire", populated by cowards who would join forces with the Dominion to put down the very warriors whose ancestors were the true mothers and fathers to the Empire.
My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial... Can you say the same?
User avatar #217 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
How dare you! The empire will pull back, the empire is our only hope, without the empire we are nothing. The third empire, the same empire that you can just throw away, was created by Talos. To betray the Empire is to betray Talos. Titus Mede II had no choice but to accept the White-Gold Concordant. This is what the Dominion wanted all along, for brothers and sisters to be fighting. What we need to do is unite Tamriel. Black Marsh, High Rock, Hammerfell, Cyrodill, and Morrowind to fight against the Dominion.
User avatar #307 - xdannytorchx (01/13/2013) [-]
By betraying the Empire we're betraying Talos? The Empire outlawed worship of Talos! I don't think he minds. But that's just me.
#225 - justtocomment (01/10/2013) [-]
Without us, the Empire is nothing! Skyrim IS the empire! I don't care where some "Imperial city" may rest, because the heart of the Empire, the heart of Talos lies in the bosom of his homeland! The Empire was made BY Skyrim!
User avatar #231 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
Well I can't argue with the last sentence
#216 - cometfire (01/10/2013) [-]
Talos guide you, brother.

I had some fun at the Thalmor Outpost and I left a message to the Aedra.

What do you think?
#285 - anonymous (01/10/2013) [-]
I think they will get the message
#227 - justtocomment (01/10/2013) [-]
Those high elves bastards deserve worse, but I admire your dedication, and your contribution. Keep up the good work, brother.
#229 - cometfire (01/10/2013) [-]
May they all die in shame.
#206 - trollolololgabe (01/10/2013) [-]
Talos would rather see a living empire that forsake's one religious figure instead of a burning empire. The elf scum would have broken through eventually and when they did the empire would be left to ruin, Skyrim and Cyrodil alike. The stormcloaks are selfish power lusting fiends! Skyrim and Cyrodil are one in the same. They NEED each other to survive. If you cut them apart they both die.
#219 - justtocomment (01/10/2013) [-]
Talos, who united the empire under the Divines? Who came from Skyrim with its history with elves?
And we won the defensive. The Dominion was pushed back. And were weakened enough to even consider a treaty to begin with? How can you say they would have pushed through, when they were already pushed back? How can you say that fight was hopeless when Hammerfell continued to resist even after the White-Gold tower surrendered?
No, Talos would not have surrendered. He'd have fought to the last warrior. He'd have pushed the elf scum back to their island and then further. He'd have called upon the great warriors of all him Empire to strike down the heretical elves. He'd have led an army of roaring Nords to the edges of Tamriel and beyond to eradicate those that would defy the rule of his Empire. His Empire, which repelled the forces MEHRUNES DAGON HIMSELF! Who fought back swarms of Daedra! His Empire, home to warriors who fight to the bloody death in the Arena, who charged straight for the Daedric armies' front lines, and his people who fight dragons now with nothing more than the small iron weapons they can pick up!
Tiber Septim ascended to Godhood through his endeavors. Would he really be willing to throw it all away because the High Elves throw a hissy fit?
User avatar #224 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
well technically during the events skyrim we are still under the third empire, the one talos created
#228 - justtocomment (01/10/2013) [-]
The events that took place occurred under the weakness of a ruler and people who didn't deserve to inherit his great Empire.
User avatar #230 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
Apparently you never read any books on the Great War, how Titus Mede II valiantly took back the great city and how he was a great strategist
#234 - justtocomment (01/10/2013) [-]
And then surrendered! He won! And then surrendered! Rather than push all the way back to their damned island and raze their capital -- no, their entire country to the ground and salt the earth so that they could never hope to grow back to show such heresy to the Divines.
User avatar #235 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
The Empire had lost thousands of lives. It would be like the USA trying to invade Japan in WW2
#238 - justtocomment (01/10/2013) [-]
No, because we didn't almost lose our capital in WWII.
Not only that, but Skyrim is made of warriors. Every Nord is born a warrior, and is willing to fight and die in battle. Even the Orcs in our lands who worship a Daedric lord would rather die destroying an enemy, rather than passing away in some pseudo-peace with said enemy.
User avatar #181 - bitchpleaseshutup (01/10/2013) [-]
*I wasn't about to let you Stormcloak scum throw away an empire that Tiber Septim worked so hard to build.
User avatar #205 - Marker, master of the jews (01/10/2013) [-]
But the Empire turned its back on their founder, all because the Emperor surrendered at the tip of an Aldmeri sword.
#148 - youknewmee (01/10/2013) [-]
#119 - Kanoah (01/10/2013) [-]
Kill all the Imperials.
#218 - cometfire (01/10/2013) [-]
#65 - anonymous (01/10/2013) [-]
you can adopt?
User avatar #67 - royalwerewolf (01/10/2013) [-]
hearthfire
#39 - Good enough for me.  [+] (1 new reply) 12/27/2012 on I hue'd +2
User avatar #53 - sekeido (12/28/2012) [-]
Ew, hetero.
#33 - Picture 12/27/2012 on Everybody run -7
#81 - Picture 12/27/2012 on Kissies 0
#177 - Picture 12/27/2012 on First Kinky Experience +3
#175 - Comment deleted 12/27/2012 on First Kinky Experience 0

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#8 - captaineureka **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#7 - xdannytorchx (03/14/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#6 - xdannytorchx (03/14/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#1 - bobJML (03/07/2011) [-]
What's up?
#3 to #2 - bobJML (03/07/2011) [-]
That's hilarious.
#4 to #3 - xdannytorchx (03/07/2011) [-]
Meh it's okay.  
<-- This is pretty hilarious though.
Meh it's okay.
<-- This is pretty hilarious though.
#5 to #4 - bobJML (03/07/2011) [-]
Gif related to yours.
Gif related to yours.
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