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toxickooties

Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Gender: female
Consoles Owned: none
Video Games Played: none
Interests: laughing, my boyfriend, bacon, sex, funny, happines, joy, computers, alcohol, parties, driving, yourmom.
Date Signed Up:1/18/2012
Last Login:4/21/2015
Location:CA
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#11094
Highest Content Rank:#4228
Highest Comment Rank:#903
Content Thumbs: 5580 total,  6487 ,  907
Comment Thumbs: 8610 total,  10374 ,  1764
Content Level Progress: 76% (76/100)
Level 155 Content: Faptastic → Level 156 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 62% (62/100)
Level 283 Comments: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor → Level 284 Comments: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor
Subscribers:9
Content Views:500523
Times Content Favorited:202 times
Total Comments Made:2821
FJ Points:6275
I only made this profile nearly 3 years ago in spite of my ex boyfriend. Now that I've fallen in love with a real man.... I don't really visit this site all to much any more.

Plus funnyjunk went down hill. No more 'meme' comics. Those were the best.

Funny Pictures

Funny Gifs

  • Views: 29650
    Thumbs Up 1034 Thumbs Down 63 Total: +971
    Comments: 39
    Favorites: 65
    Uploaded: 11/16/12
    Curious Eagle. Curious Eagle.
  • Views: 15607
    Thumbs Up 415 Thumbs Down 38 Total: +377
    Comments: 14
    Favorites: 31
    Uploaded: 12/02/12
    Fly Cat Fly Cat

latest user's comments

#25 - Xenia Onatopp? From James Bond... 04/18/2015 on your balls are next 0
#181775 - Hell no... heeelllll noo it wouldn't. She might kick me out of…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181777 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well maybe you should be more assertive. Instead of being the less dominant one, switch it. Be all like " babe I'm so horny, let's go fuck" or something stupid like that.

Then take out the strap on.

But seriously, just be more dominant and spice shit up. Switch it up and down and all over.
#181774 - My bestfriends sister insulted me to the point of tears (she's…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181778 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
But like, this conversation wouldn't do much in that regard. It's about sex you aren't getting.
#181772 - Oh goodness I couldn't handle that. I'm shy enough as it is wi…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181773 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
His mom walking in would be very funny. Hahahaha

Well strangers tell you what to do is kinda s&m.
User avatar #181775 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
Hell no... heeelllll noo it wouldn't. She might kick me out of her house... lol my parents house is 3 hours away.


Still... no thanks. The problem is not that I'm not getting off... I can totally do it on my own... the problem is the man I'm madly inlove with ISN'T inside me when I am getting off. -_-
I want his dick. I want sex with his dick, and his body. I am sexually attracted to this man. He's sexy. I like him naked. UUGGHH
User avatar #181777 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well maybe you should be more assertive. Instead of being the less dominant one, switch it. Be all like " babe I'm so horny, let's go fuck" or something stupid like that.

Then take out the strap on.

But seriously, just be more dominant and spice shit up. Switch it up and down and all over.
#181769 - I'm starting to think I should save this conversation for anot…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181771 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
How do you mean?
User avatar #181774 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
My bestfriends sister insulted me to the point of tears (she's been an asshole since forever but today was just uncalled for)
So I had that to deal with today. More negativity would just not be fun
I'm also going to start my period soon, so I am a little more sensitive. (I get depressed easily instead of PMS bitchtit mode.
User avatar #181778 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
But like, this conversation wouldn't do much in that regard. It's about sex you aren't getting.
#181768 - I hope he's not. I don't know the right word to desc…  [+] (5 new replies) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181770 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well most girls are into being told what to do. Ever thought about sexual relief online though? Like not porn but like can shows or something. I mean it would kinda be cheating I guess.

Or how about like... Before he gets home from school/work tie yourself to the bed frame nude. I mean, if I walked in on that I'd probably wanna do the do. Especially since she obviously wants it so bad.
User avatar #181772 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
Oh goodness I couldn't handle that. I'm shy enough as it is with my body. Let alone let strangers see it.

I think he would just find it funny... I also wouldn't want his mom walking in on me either. -_-
User avatar #181773 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
His mom walking in would be very funny. Hahahaha

Well strangers tell you what to do is kinda s&m.
User avatar #181775 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
Hell no... heeelllll noo it wouldn't. She might kick me out of her house... lol my parents house is 3 hours away.


Still... no thanks. The problem is not that I'm not getting off... I can totally do it on my own... the problem is the man I'm madly inlove with ISN'T inside me when I am getting off. -_-
I want his dick. I want sex with his dick, and his body. I am sexually attracted to this man. He's sexy. I like him naked. UUGGHH
User avatar #181777 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well maybe you should be more assertive. Instead of being the less dominant one, switch it. Be all like " babe I'm so horny, let's go fuck" or something stupid like that.

Then take out the strap on.

But seriously, just be more dominant and spice shit up. Switch it up and down and all over.
#181764 - See that's what I wanted to know. I know it would hurt him a l…  [+] (11 new replies) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181767 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Maybe he is bored of the sex life?

Try spicing it up with fetishes or something. S&m ect.

What my ex would do sometimes and wear certain toys in public which would help me get in the mood a lot faster. Fuck her like mad after lol

You have needs as well as him. Just let them be known. Don't rape the guy but make it appealing to have sex with him.
User avatar #181769 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
I'm starting to think I should save this conversation for another night with him. I had a rough day and if it goes negative... I don't know if I could handle it.
User avatar #181771 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
How do you mean?
User avatar #181774 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
My bestfriends sister insulted me to the point of tears (she's been an asshole since forever but today was just uncalled for)
So I had that to deal with today. More negativity would just not be fun
I'm also going to start my period soon, so I am a little more sensitive. (I get depressed easily instead of PMS bitchtit mode.
User avatar #181778 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
But like, this conversation wouldn't do much in that regard. It's about sex you aren't getting.
User avatar #181768 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
I hope he's not.

I don't know the right word to describe him.. but I think he's too... "innocent" for freaky stuff. I've tried asking but he just gets slightly uncomfortable. I'm very submissive and get turned on by dominance and I've told him this... but he said he's just not a dominant type.
Hmm maybe I need to ask if it's the other way around... but that would just wierd me out. I like being told what to do. hahah.

Maybe I should just start drinking the mint tea again. -_-
User avatar #181770 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well most girls are into being told what to do. Ever thought about sexual relief online though? Like not porn but like can shows or something. I mean it would kinda be cheating I guess.

Or how about like... Before he gets home from school/work tie yourself to the bed frame nude. I mean, if I walked in on that I'd probably wanna do the do. Especially since she obviously wants it so bad.
User avatar #181772 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
Oh goodness I couldn't handle that. I'm shy enough as it is with my body. Let alone let strangers see it.

I think he would just find it funny... I also wouldn't want his mom walking in on me either. -_-
User avatar #181773 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
His mom walking in would be very funny. Hahahaha

Well strangers tell you what to do is kinda s&m.
User avatar #181775 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
Hell no... heeelllll noo it wouldn't. She might kick me out of her house... lol my parents house is 3 hours away.


Still... no thanks. The problem is not that I'm not getting off... I can totally do it on my own... the problem is the man I'm madly inlove with ISN'T inside me when I am getting off. -_-
I want his dick. I want sex with his dick, and his body. I am sexually attracted to this man. He's sexy. I like him naked. UUGGHH
User avatar #181777 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well maybe you should be more assertive. Instead of being the less dominant one, switch it. Be all like " babe I'm so horny, let's go fuck" or something stupid like that.

Then take out the strap on.

But seriously, just be more dominant and spice shit up. Switch it up and down and all over.
#181763 - I'm going to ask him again if its my weight that turns him off… 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
#181761 - Last time I talked to him about it he said its just stress and…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181765 - titsmccracken (04/17/2015) [-]
Well, I think you just answered your own question. Good luck and I hope it works out.
#181758 - I hope I'm certain. That's what I've been getting from him. Wh…  [+] (13 new replies) 04/17/2015 on Advice - love advice,... +1
User avatar #181762 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Ehhh, yeah you should leave that getting turned on thing out. Jealousy isn't a good thing to make your partner feel.

I know a guy that had sex very often with his girl friend. Now he just doesn't think about sex at all after the break up. He just doesn't think it's a big deal or anything. He might just be the same way.

Just FYI, if you do cheat or something, do him a Favor and break up before hand. You would be scum if you didn't.
User avatar #181764 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
See that's what I wanted to know. I know it would hurt him a lot to hear... but that's how I've been feeling.

Maybe, I'll have to ask him. I Just remembered he also mentioned he's worried if we have sex too often that "we" might get tired of it. I WONT.

I would NEVER cheat. I can't think of a reason why I would want to break up with him. Something seriously bad needs to happen before I would end this relationship.
But, of course I would do him and I the favor of ending it if it got to that point. But I can't bare the thought.
User avatar #181767 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Maybe he is bored of the sex life?

Try spicing it up with fetishes or something. S&m ect.

What my ex would do sometimes and wear certain toys in public which would help me get in the mood a lot faster. Fuck her like mad after lol

You have needs as well as him. Just let them be known. Don't rape the guy but make it appealing to have sex with him.
User avatar #181769 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
I'm starting to think I should save this conversation for another night with him. I had a rough day and if it goes negative... I don't know if I could handle it.
User avatar #181771 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
How do you mean?
User avatar #181774 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
My bestfriends sister insulted me to the point of tears (she's been an asshole since forever but today was just uncalled for)
So I had that to deal with today. More negativity would just not be fun
I'm also going to start my period soon, so I am a little more sensitive. (I get depressed easily instead of PMS bitchtit mode.
User avatar #181778 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
But like, this conversation wouldn't do much in that regard. It's about sex you aren't getting.
User avatar #181768 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
I hope he's not.

I don't know the right word to describe him.. but I think he's too... "innocent" for freaky stuff. I've tried asking but he just gets slightly uncomfortable. I'm very submissive and get turned on by dominance and I've told him this... but he said he's just not a dominant type.
Hmm maybe I need to ask if it's the other way around... but that would just wierd me out. I like being told what to do. hahah.

Maybe I should just start drinking the mint tea again. -_-
User avatar #181770 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well most girls are into being told what to do. Ever thought about sexual relief online though? Like not porn but like can shows or something. I mean it would kinda be cheating I guess.

Or how about like... Before he gets home from school/work tie yourself to the bed frame nude. I mean, if I walked in on that I'd probably wanna do the do. Especially since she obviously wants it so bad.
User avatar #181772 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
Oh goodness I couldn't handle that. I'm shy enough as it is with my body. Let alone let strangers see it.

I think he would just find it funny... I also wouldn't want his mom walking in on me either. -_-
User avatar #181773 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
His mom walking in would be very funny. Hahahaha

Well strangers tell you what to do is kinda s&m.
User avatar #181775 - toxickooties (04/17/2015) [-]
Hell no... heeelllll noo it wouldn't. She might kick me out of her house... lol my parents house is 3 hours away.


Still... no thanks. The problem is not that I'm not getting off... I can totally do it on my own... the problem is the man I'm madly inlove with ISN'T inside me when I am getting off. -_-
I want his dick. I want sex with his dick, and his body. I am sexually attracted to this man. He's sexy. I like him naked. UUGGHH
User avatar #181777 - notred (04/17/2015) [-]
Well maybe you should be more assertive. Instead of being the less dominant one, switch it. Be all like " babe I'm so horny, let's go fuck" or something stupid like that.

Then take out the strap on.

But seriously, just be more dominant and spice shit up. Switch it up and down and all over.

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User avatar #166 - notred ONLINE (04/22/2015) [-]
#164 - Elk has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #165 to #164 - toxickooties (02/19/2015) [-]
Sorry not sorry...


You even admitted your self to having the habit of being mean.
#151 - Elk (01/18/2015) [-]
**Elk used "*roll picture*"**
**Elk rolled image** Are we still good?
User avatar #152 to #151 - partially (01/19/2015) [-]
Just give her some me mez bitches love me mez
User avatar #159 to #152 - toxickooties (01/21/2015) [-]
wtf is mez?
User avatar #161 to #159 - partially (01/21/2015) [-]
lllllluuuuuuuuuulllllllllllll
memes as in me mes as in me mez
:^)
User avatar #163 to #162 - partially (01/21/2015) [-]
it all makes sense now right?
User avatar #153 to #152 - Elk (01/19/2015) [-]
She got mad because I asked for her to stick the bow up her vajayjay with her opinion.
User avatar #160 to #153 - toxickooties (01/21/2015) [-]
Guys... stop
User avatar #154 to #153 - partially (01/19/2015) [-]
I saw that lul
User avatar #155 to #154 - Elk (01/19/2015) [-]
Oh, I thought I sent that in a private message.
User avatar #156 to #155 - partially (01/19/2015) [-]
Stop you are overdoing it not funny anymore
User avatar #157 to #156 - Elk (01/19/2015) [-]
Carrying a conversation is supposed to be funny? I'm glad you informed me. Otherwise I'd have tons of them...
User avatar #158 to #157 - partially (01/19/2015) [-]
Okey :^)
User avatar #144 - gobgob (01/09/2015) [-]
I think I hate it lmao
User avatar #145 to #144 - toxickooties (01/10/2015) [-]
Hate what?? 0.0
User avatar #146 to #145 - gobgob (01/10/2015) [-]
you*
User avatar #139 - hotpost (01/02/2015) [-]
pics or it didn't happen
User avatar #141 to #140 - hotpost (01/03/2015) [-]
you getting spanked by your bf while cowgirl ridding him
User avatar #142 to #141 - toxickooties (01/04/2015) [-]
oooh no.

If I can hardly handle seeing my self naked I ain't showing the world.
#148 to #142 - Elk (01/18/2015) [-]
no one wants to see you naked
User avatar #149 to #148 - toxickooties (01/18/2015) [-]
then why do you keep asking?
User avatar #150 to #149 - Elk (01/18/2015) [-]
Force of habit.
User avatar #143 to #142 - hotpost (01/04/2015) [-]
let us judge
User avatar #133 - acemcgunner (12/02/2014) [-]
good luck on your flexing
User avatar #134 to #133 - toxickooties (12/02/2014) [-]
Thanks, I'll train hard every day... every other day.... once a week... once a month...


Never.


JK maybe. I stretch after a run. so one day!
User avatar #136 to #134 - acemcgunner (12/02/2014) [-]
I could help you bend that way
User avatar #135 to #134 - acemcgunner (12/02/2014) [-]
lol... that's nice.
User avatar #131 - nighkey (03/22/2014) [-]
Your avatar does not do you justice.
User avatar #132 to #131 - toxickooties (03/22/2014) [-]
Lol, thanks?
I drew it.
#129 - elricbros **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #130 to #129 - toxickooties (02/06/2014) [-]
You first bbycakes.
#127 - snakefire (09/14/2013) [-]
"Do youo rhemembur me?"
"Do youo rhemembur me?"
User avatar #128 to #127 - flawns (10/19/2013) [-]
oh yeah I remember you ....STOP SENDING ME YOUR NUDES
User avatar #121 - hippymofuka (09/14/2013) [-]
Hi! :3
User avatar #123 to #122 - hippymofuka (09/14/2013) [-]
Just saying hi, im bored haha and ran out of things to do on the interwebz, what's up?
User avatar #125 to #123 - toxickooties (09/14/2013) [-]
Das kewl das kewl... I'm bored too...I wanna go out but no one is available. and my boyfriend is taking for ****** ever, like usual, to respond!!
User avatar #126 to #125 - hippymofuka (09/14/2013) [-]
lol I cant even go out at the moment, I have to get up at 430 for work.... so lame hahah
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