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|#135 - Lilac Pistacchios ...dammit.||09/25/2013 on Best Band Name Ever||0|
|#300 - Brown Sushi. Ugh.||08/14/2013 on Red Blueberry Muffin||0|
|#15 - Q: How do I get him to do the cooking/dishes/laundry/ma…||08/04/2013 on Does the corner have xbox?||+41|
|#14 - Q: What do I do if he's being grumpy? … [+] (2 new replies)||08/04/2013 on Does the corner have xbox?||+159|
#15 - torino (08/04/2013) [-]
Q: How do I get him to do the cooking/dishes/laundry/make the bed?
A: This is an industry-wide issue: manufacturers cut costs by omitting these important programs from the operating system. Fortunately, most men have robust Learning Units, and will pick up the assigned tasks given enough repetition. Consider accelerating the process with liberal amounts of affection.
Q: My man sometimes smells?
A: Smells are part and parcel of ownership, and most owners come to accept, if not enjoy the smell of their man. Consider daily showers, and rinsing after heavy activity. Third-party companies also offer odor-reductants such as cologne and body spray, although we recommend they be used sparingly. Depending on model, exhaust fumes can be mitigated by switching to high-fiber fuel, though you may wish experiment with the fuel mixture that produces best results.
Q: I have found the perfect one! How do I keep him forever?
A: Congratulations! Begin with a thorough overhaul: Previous ownership may have left the Emotional Unit in bad shape, and you will want to synchronize the Expectations Gauge with your own. Make sure the Preferences Pump is calibrated to anterior or posterior (whichever you have), and you may wish to update the operating system with any programs you have grown accustomed to. Use only high-quality fuels, and make sure that the Sleep Tank and Affection Meter never dip into the red. With proper care, he should last you a lifetime!
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