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torino Avatar Level 141 Comments: Faptastic
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Date Signed Up:12/29/2009
Last Login:7/22/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Thumbs: 422 total,  464 ,  42
Content Level Progress: 6.77% (4/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 90% (9/10)
Level 141 Comments: Faptastic → Level 142 Comments: Faptastic
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Content Views:10
Total Comments Made:70
FJ Points:427

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#135 - Lilac Pistacchios ...dammit. 09/25/2013 on Best Band Name Ever 0
#300 - Brown Sushi. Ugh. 08/14/2013 on Red Blueberry Muffin 0
#15 - Q: How do I get him to do the cooking/dishes/laundry/ma… 08/04/2013 on Does the corner have xbox? +41
#14 - Q: What do I do if he's being grumpy? …  [+] (2 new replies) 08/04/2013 on Does the corner have xbox? +159
User avatar #16 - koobzacc (08/04/2013) [-]
A1-6

"Try sucking his dick"
User avatar #15 - torino (08/04/2013) [-]

Q: How do I get him to do the cooking/dishes/laundry/make the bed?

A: This is an industry-wide issue: manufacturers cut costs by omitting these important programs from the operating system. Fortunately, most men have robust Learning Units, and will pick up the assigned tasks given enough repetition. Consider accelerating the process with liberal amounts of affection.

Q: My man sometimes smells?

A: Smells are part and parcel of ownership, and most owners come to accept, if not enjoy the smell of their man. Consider daily showers, and rinsing after heavy activity. Third-party companies also offer odor-reductants such as cologne and body spray, although we recommend they be used sparingly. Depending on model, exhaust fumes can be mitigated by switching to high-fiber fuel, though you may wish experiment with the fuel mixture that produces best results.

Q: I have found the perfect one! How do I keep him forever?

A: Congratulations! Begin with a thorough overhaul: Previous ownership may have left the Emotional Unit in bad shape, and you will want to synchronize the Expectations Gauge with your own. Make sure the Preferences Pump is calibrated to anterior or posterior (whichever you have), and you may wish to update the operating system with any programs you have grown accustomed to. Use only high-quality fuels, and make sure that the Sleep Tank and Affection Meter never dip into the red. With proper care, he should last you a lifetime!
#87 - "...As here I lie In this state-chamber, dying by deg… 06/17/2013 on Try it 0
#42 - Holy shit there were one thousand nine hundred and fifteen Cha… 05/09/2013 on Mistakes And False Predictions +1
#28 - Looks like the pilot drew down the shades in front...  [+] (1 new reply) 04/14/2013 on Kill. Everything. 0
User avatar #64 - whaawhaa (04/14/2013) [-]
that's the HUD
#14 - That's because it's in German...  [+] (1 new reply) 03/25/2013 on We were allowed 1 sheet... +2
#43 - mikthacool (03/25/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure SI-units are international such as M and V, but not sure about T
#67 - Nothing encapsulates this photo more than the greek letter up… 03/06/2013 on Beta as Fuck -1
#66 - You do know that Zeta is only the 6th letter of the Greek alph… 03/06/2013 on Beta as Fuck -1
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