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#2440 - onefuckingskurut (01/23/2013) [-]
Helooo? :)
#2454 to #2440 - onefuckingskurut (01/24/2013) [-]
I see. it makes sense now. Is there a cure for your conditions? Being healthier could change a lot you know? You might be not sad anymore...
#2441 to #2440 - thundercloud (01/23/2013) [-]
hey :3 how are ya
#2442 to #2441 - onefuckingskurut (01/23/2013) [-]
Fine now but I was disturbingly wrong like an hour ago :l ....
#2443 to #2442 - thundercloud (01/23/2013) [-]
what happened?
#2446 to #2443 - onefuckingskurut (01/23/2013) [-]
I got home quite demoralized as I am most of the time. I took a nap and I felt better after it. Though it took minutes until all the stuff got up to my mind again. I was browsing frontpage with bitter taste on my spirit. I found some funny and laughed pretty hard. But it was not relieving at all. It actually got worse. And then I found this web-site www.pimsleurapproach.com/video/learn-in-ten-days/ and watched the video. She had nice reassuring voice :) Though its not better now as I am recalling this I would recall it again before sleep anyway....
#2447 to #2446 - thundercloud (01/23/2013) [-]
i get depressed alot so i know how you feel
#2448 to #2447 - onefuckingskurut (01/23/2013) [-]
I had depressions long time ago. They are gone now. I don´t know how do I call what I experience but its certainly not depression. Nothing seem to have sense or value to me.
I´ve had many chances of which many I wasted. All progress I did is gone now and I know nothing what could make me to work on it again. I dont know where is my life heading except one unlikely destination.

....Oh well,still better than when I had those depressions. I actually wished to be back at the start...
#2449 to #2448 - thundercloud (01/23/2013) [-]
you sound just like me
#2450 to #2449 - onefuckingskurut (01/23/2013) [-]
Guess so. I mustn´t then feel guilty for sharing this with you... I am pretty much last hope of my family. But why should I like my family? Why should I keep my name? They all are unable to reassure or support....

Every time I retain some of my spirit I lost it outside. And so it goes to ****...
If I could just develop some bond of some sort with somebody....

Aaaahh,I am just bitching here. I will keep trying. Even though it hurts and its bad feeling... I have almost nothing left to lose anyway...

...You take care I should go to sleep soon. Good bye!
#2451 to #2450 - thundercloud (01/23/2013) [-]
you.....you are just wonderful
i hope you have a great night sleep
#2452 to #2451 - onefuckingskurut (01/23/2013) [-]
How in the world am I wonderful :D?

I wash on checkup with my back today. Doctor had not negative comments. And again I got asked if I am weightlifting in secret X) Apparently my muscles remained tight since I was doing that. Though it was long time ago. Them muscles seem normal to me...

I was also told the doctor about how I badly exhausted I got after every school day since November. After short discussion we concluded that its because I had not enough sleep. Almost every night I got awoken for pain or just did not fell asleep at all.

I guess that now makes sane sense why I was so edgy about life and stuff. I hope that I will get better now. I am going to stop wearing corset in the night for some time.
it just didn´t make any sense how come my spirit was leaking out of me like that...

And one more thing. You still seem pretty cool :)
#2453 to #2452 - thundercloud (01/24/2013) [-]
you are wonderful cause i say so
i have many many back problems,it causes me to not have that much sleep,that and my sleep apnea doesn't help ether,i only seem to sleep well every so often
like after along day at work (i work at a flea market)
but now that iv moved and no longer have a job,i good night sleep is a very rare thing
so i occupy my nights with games,movies,thinking about life and what might change in the morning
and thank you for the complement
#2444 to #2443 - onefuckingskurut (01/23/2013) [-]
Well today I got proved that my grades do not correspond to my knowledge. Also I pay for my credulity. Its not like that,I am just naive and risk to get into a favor of some people. Today I lend pen to a guy who is sitting beside me and with who I am getting along the worst. He broke it,I saw it and when I asked him to give it back he lied to my eyes even against proofs. Should have just hit the ******. I could not even shout at him because it was at the end of school day and I really have not that strong voice...
#2445 to #2444 - thundercloud (01/23/2013) [-]
that sucks