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theprogramer

Last status update:
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Gender: male
Age: 26
Date Signed Up:12/18/2011
Location:New York
Stats
Content Ranking:#2029
Comment Ranking:#3023
Highest Content Rank:#339
Highest Comment Rank:#808
Content Thumbs: 14609 total,  15932 ,  1323
Comment Thumbs: 8457 total,  9442 ,  985
Content Level Progress: 44.8% (224/500)
Level 211 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 212 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 62% (62/100)
Level 265 Comments: Pure Win → Level 266 Comments: Pure Win
Subscribers:4
Content Views:712129
Times Content Favorited:1057 times
Total Comments Made:1398
FJ Points:14121
Favorite Tags: Starcraft (3) | grumpy cat (2) | Portal (2) | slender (2) | what year is it (2)

latest user's comments

#4 - He bit himself and is seizing from the venom. He is not playin…  [+] (57 replies) 04/29/2016 on Overreacting -141
#103 - lijok (04/29/2016) [-]
Y'all bitches got baited and ya didn't even notice it
#74 - necrova (04/29/2016) [-]
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#76 - virtigo (04/29/2016) [-]
Someone's niggering out on a very early state in life.
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#77 - necrova (04/29/2016) [-]
Teach 'em while they're young
#72 - larrisawsome (04/29/2016) [-]
stahp.
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#67 - mewxchii (04/29/2016) [-]
I wouldn't know myself but is this not true or something? It's been explained yet you're floating in the sea of red thumbs..
#79 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
It's not true for several reasons. Snakes can not kill themselves with their own venom. They are immune to their own venom, so it doesn't affect them at all if they bite themselves. This is also a hognose snake, unlike other venomous snakes, they are rear fanged, and not front fanged so it's fang would never have even touched it. Their venom is also very mild, so mild in fact, that it isn't even toxic to humans. Hognose snakes are also known to play dead as their own form of a defense mechanism, which is what this one is doing.
#62 - daredevizz (04/29/2016) [-]
cause thats why he continues to roll on his back at the end.
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#64 - novus (04/29/2016) [-]
Dead things roll onto their back. It was super duper legit!
#65 - daredevizz (04/29/2016) [-]
#60 - joejoejoethehuman (04/29/2016) [-]
Don't act dumb
#45 - kidwreckless (04/29/2016) [-]
peoples sense of humor has gotten super simple minded on this website i hate it so much. i appreciate your humor thumb for you
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#56 - jonball (04/29/2016) [-]
I agree, but maybe make it look like a joke and not a retarded statement?
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#88 - kidwreckless (04/29/2016) [-]
if youve seen dodgeball
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#87 - kidwreckless (04/29/2016) [-]
well ben stillers character in the GIF is a complete idiot so that right there shouldve said it was a joke
#50 - theprogramer (04/29/2016) [-]
Thanks, glad at least someone found it funny.
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#66 - reaperriley (04/29/2016) [-]
You should do a better job of using an image/adding something to your comment that shows that you are joking and not just some retard. Because as we know, the internet is filled with idiots, and only half are pretending.
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#69 - theprogramer (04/29/2016) [-]
Next time I'll add Kappa. WILL THAT MAKE YOU LOVE ME MOMMY?!
#70 - reaperriley (04/29/2016) [-]
Its like you want to be flooded by people who obviously cant get the tone out of a very plain statement and then laugh about "Oh haha, my humor is so far superior to theirs because they dont get it." But seriously, figure out a way to do it or not, Im not your mother and FJ will react depend on how your proceed.
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#106 - theprogramer (04/30/2016) [-]
Hey man I never said anything like that. Others said they got my joke, and I told them I appreciated it.
#68 - theprogramer has deleted their comment.
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#44 - buckymcbadbait (04/29/2016) [-]
Oh shit
#34 - makutasfinest (04/29/2016) [-]
I think everyone voting this dude down doesn't appreciate his humor.

Like, no shit he's wrong.
Just look at the .gif he's using.
The way he's typing as if he's actually versed on the topic.
He knew damn well he was just trying to fuck with the unwitting.

I found it funny, at least
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#102 - XxJACKISHERExX (04/29/2016) [-]
yes but you see, i was laughing until i read his comment
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#84 - strangesir (04/29/2016) [-]
When people use that gif, they usually are being legit. 'Least from my experience.
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#97 - ohshoot (04/29/2016) [-]
Yeah, I don't recall that one with irony. Usually it's followed by a huge block of actual info. Plus, it's hard to pick up sarcasm over text, so OP had it coming.
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#98 - strangesir (04/29/2016) [-]
Why don't people use italics for that?
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#100 - ohshoot (04/29/2016) [-]
I dunno. Maybe it'll look a little too smug? I like to pretend I'm humble.
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#101 - strangesir (04/29/2016) [-]
I gyess
#48 - theprogramer (04/29/2016) [-]
Wow, I've never seen one of my jokes go so bad! Glad it gave you a giggle though.
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#40 - settler (04/29/2016) [-]
FJ is becoming too serious.
#43 - vissova (04/29/2016) [-]
It pretty much is. I've been here long enough to see some major changes, as have others. Back when I first got here, the kind of shit that got front page was a picture of a Walrus saying "he be stealing my bucket" or something like that, and the comments were just things like "oh noes". Now I just see political debates and screenshots of social media websites.
Oh well. Things change over time.
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#59 - settler (04/29/2016) [-]
True that man. But I think the gif was a bit of a punchline that makes it like you mean it. Does that makes sense? I joined here since 2011 but nowhere near active as now. Many has changed indeed. Specially the amount of anime and fetish of unicorn and what not..
#31 - trollmario (04/29/2016) [-]
#47 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
u got baited my friend
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#28 - sirfiiddlesticks (04/29/2016) [-]
Nope that's just an eastern hognose snake mate. They play dead
#46 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
was clearly a joke lmao
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#105 - talldumbdork (04/29/2016) [-]
No it wasn't
#27 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
#25 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
#23 - venomousvalentine (04/29/2016) [-]
#108 - stoatsmcgoats (04/30/2016) [-]
**stoatsmcgoats used "*roll picture*"**
**stoatsmcgoats rolled image**



>but they don't listen
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#16 - theguywhoaskswhy (04/29/2016) [-]
Snakes are immune to their own venom........................ Just like your body has ways of protecting itself from the volatile hydrochloric acid in your stomach.
Both of which would be pretty fucking useless if they killed the vessel.
#53 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
baited
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#10 - armwulf (04/29/2016) [-]
That's so wrong I don't even know where to start
This snake plays dead, dramatically.
It's instincts to play dead say a dead snake is upsidown
That's why it keeps flipping upsidedown over and over again
If it was actually dead, please explain how it rolls inwards over, and over, and over again
This is well documented within the species
Take your bullshit elsewhere
#52 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
u were baited
#22 - friedpotato (04/29/2016) [-]
"This snake plays dead, dramatically."

It made me laugh a lot.
#9 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
Snakes are immune to their own venom dude, not even White Goodman would get that wrong. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_venom
#54 - terminalinfinity (04/29/2016) [-]
Not all of them. For example, cottonmouths on a snake island near my city are eating each other and are not immune to each others venom.
www.gainesville.com/article/20160407/ARTICLES/160409739/0/search

"Sheehy said he witnessed cottonmouths eating each other — the aggressor biting the victim, poisoning it with venom and swallowing it whole. A cottonmouth is not immune to cottonmouth venom"
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#13 - plazmaflare (04/29/2016) [-]
They're mostly just highly resistant, but you're technically correct.
#15 - keddetheb (04/29/2016) [-]
here have this
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#6 - twoeyedcyclops (04/29/2016) [-]
I believe that's a hog nose...Their saliva is toxic to small prey such as frogs and toads, and thus meets the definition of venom. However, it is not likely to cause serious injury to humans, particularly as hognoses are rear-fanged and do not bite in defense (i.e., the only way to get bitten by a hognose snake is to smell like their prey).

and it didn't bite with anything but the front of it's mouth
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#5 - christinap (04/29/2016) [-]
but why does his body keep twisting inwards?
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#11 - pyjamadog (04/29/2016) [-]
Play oppossum snake helps him survive.
warning: effect may vary per mammel.
#24 - anon (04/29/2016) [-]
There was no fangs.
No fang marks.
And it keeped flipping itself over.
Its not a poisonous snake.
Its clearly not dead and is a bad actor.
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#51 - pyjamadog (04/29/2016) [-]
????????
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#8 - lorinthium (04/29/2016) [-]
its just a type of snake that plays dead, it freaks out to startle the attacker and then plays dead. It keeps flipping over because that position looks the most dead like although to us its easy to tell its not dead since it keeps flipping but to other animals they dont normally try to flip it. They might think its sick or poisonous due to its act and give up on it
#37 - Picture  [+] (2 replies) 04/27/2016 on SUCKERS! -1
#38 - videogamehippey (04/27/2016) [-]
These people apparently care
#39 - theprogramer (04/27/2016) [-]
Funny, seems like they're the vast minority, huh?
#26 - Picture 04/26/2016 on evil bitch 0
#24 - Picture 04/26/2016 on SUCKERS! -13
#52 - The title is a lie.  [+] (2 replies) 04/26/2016 on I love happy endings +5
#73 - innocentbabies (04/26/2016) [-]
Would it have been happier if that poor orca had to starve to death?
#97 - theprogramer (04/26/2016) [-]
#94 - **theprogramer used "*roll picture*"** **theprogramer rolle…  [+] (1 reply) 04/26/2016 on Faster but Slower +36
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#95 - cyberviking (04/26/2016) [-]
I must agree there.