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Last status update:
Personal Info
Date Signed Up:8/06/2010
Last Login:5/17/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#22673
Highest Content Rank:#11920
Highest Comment Rank:#3491
Content Thumbs: 12 total,  45 ,  33
Comment Thumbs: 1112 total,  1425 ,  313
Content Level Progress: 28.81% (17/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 4% (2/50)
Level 210 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 211 Comments: Comedic Genius
Content Views:1806
Times Content Favorited:2 times
Total Comments Made:708
FJ Points:1114

Funny Pictures

  • Views: 624
    Thumbs Up 17 Thumbs Down 3 Total: +14
    Comments: 0
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 05/29/11
    Pedobot Pedobot
  • Views: 616
    Thumbs Up 11 Thumbs Down 4 Total: +7
    Comments: 0
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 07/20/11
    Paper vs Rock Paper vs Rock
  • Views: 923
    Thumbs Up 4 Thumbs Down 5 Total: -1
    Comments: 8
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 12/14/14
    Gotta Roll 'Em All Gotta Roll 'Em All

latest user's comments

#16 - Thanks for the info, I'd thumb but it seems to be disabled.  [+] (1 new reply) 04/05/2015 on Pretty close call 0
User avatar #17 - jizzeverywhere (04/05/2015) [-]
I think the post is just too old or something... I don't remember changing any settings on it.
#14 - So is Bloodborne supposed to be the spiritual successor of Dar…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/05/2015 on Pretty close call 0
User avatar #15 - jizzeverywhere (04/05/2015) [-]
It's described as soul-like, it plays kinda like a souls game, and apart from the lack of a decent shield it plays a lot like a souls game. Though I've gotta say, if you play these games for lore, pick a different game, Bloodborne's lore doesn't seem to go too deep.
User avatar #16 - sylphz (04/05/2015) [-]
Thanks for the info, I'd thumb but it seems to be disabled.
User avatar #17 - jizzeverywhere (04/05/2015) [-]
I think the post is just too old or something... I don't remember changing any settings on it.
#14 - the only ones i cant remember are the black cat next to Mac an…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/05/2015 on i remember them all 0
#17 - LaBarata (04/05/2015) [-]
Juniper Lee is the girl with the stripe in her hair, and which girl in a skullcap, this one?
#15 - mrfisto Comment deleted by sylphz
#16 - mrfisto Comment deleted by sylphz
#9 - that picture looks like Filthy Frank driving a car  [+] (1 new reply) 04/05/2015 on fuck off jesus +4
#24 - tramway (04/05/2015) [-]
#146 - Everytime i see this faggots "comics" that he most l… 04/05/2015 on Happy Easter +2
#6 - she took the picture like that to avoid drawing attention to t…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/15/2015 on It's true +24
User avatar #8 - kiaserzerg (01/15/2015) [-]
hold phone up to left ear with camera on silent and timer.
#572 - I've been coming to this site since i was in middle school and… 01/09/2015 on looking for a mod or two 0
#7 - Take out "after a girl gives" and "a weak handjob" 12/16/2014 on Kuroko's Balls -1
#3 - why wrap it in saran wrap if you're just going to unwrap it af…  [+] (8 new replies) 12/16/2014 on Lazy Ice Cream Cake +3
User avatar #11 - Chubs (12/16/2014) [-]
wax paper might work better? not sure, since it is just for a nonstick surface
#6 - derkderpderp (12/16/2014) [-]
holy fucking shit are you fucking mind-blowingly retarded? that's the fucking tray flipped over the saran wrap is so it doesn't stick to the pan

god fucking dammit
#17 - psykobear (12/16/2014) [-]
#16 - landartheconqueror (12/16/2014) [-]
User avatar #13 - hellspawner (12/16/2014) [-]
It's actually for the shape
#12 - Rascal (12/16/2014) [-]
I didn't know gordon ramsay was on funnyjunk.
#9 - pleasehelpour (12/16/2014) [-]
Cranky cook
#7 - Rascal (12/16/2014) [-]
#113 - I dont know where else to go to ask this, but wasnt there a co… 12/13/2014 on all roll types 0

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User avatar #83 - sylphz (12/13/2014) [-]
**sylphz used "*roll 6, pokemon*"**
**sylphz rolls Haunter**
**sylphz rolls Heracross**
**sylphz rolls Garchomp**
**sylphz rolls Furfrou**
**sylphz rolls Cherubi**
**sylphz rolls Keldeo**
User avatar #85 to #83 - sylphz (12/13/2014) [-]
Assuming all pokemon hatched from eggs, roll stats according to the corresponding levels.
User avatar #89 to #85 - sylphz (12/13/2014) [-]
HP will differ depending on the pokemons level and evolution stage.
Stage 1, lvl 5-7 - roll 20-26
Stage 1 lvl 7-10 - roll 26-32
Stage 2 lvl 5-7 - roll 32-38
Stage 2 lvl 7-10 - roll 38-44
Stage 3 lvl 5-7 - roll 44-50
Stage 3 lvl 7-10 - roll 50-55
Other stats will differ as well depending on your pokemon and evolution stage. Look up your pokemon using pokemondb.net/pokedex/game/x-y, and use your pokemons base stats as a guide.

Since this isnt the real game, and is just a rolling game online, we will use the pokemons real base stats as a starter guide, but leveling up will be based entirely on the number of the roll you made, so any pokemon can get super beefy, or be really weak, depending on your rolls.
User avatar #91 to #89 - sylphz (12/13/2014) [-]
Stage 1 Stats lvl 5-7

Attack - Roll 15-19
Defense - roll 12-16
Sp. Atk - roll 14-18
Sp. Def - roll 11-15
Speed - roll 12-18

Stage 2 Stats lvl 5-7

Attack - roll 20-24
Defense - roll 18-22
Sp. Atk - roll 20-24
Sp. Def - roll 17-21
Speed - roll 19-25

Stage 3 Stats lvl 5-7

Attack - roll 25-30
Defense - roll 23-27
Sp. Atk - roll 25-29
Sp. Def - roll 22-26
Speed - roll 25-32
User avatar #92 to #91 - sylphz (12/13/2014) [-]
Stage 1 Stats lvl 7-10

Attack - roll 19-23
Defense - roll 16-20
Sp. Atk - roll 18-22
Sp. Def- roll 15-19
Speed- roll 18-24

Stage 2 Stats lvl 7-10

Attack - roll 24-28
Defense - roll 18-22
Sp. Atk - roll 24-28
Sp. Def - roll 21-25
Speed - roll 25-31

Stage 3 Stats lvl 7-10

Attack - roll 30-34
Defense - roll 22-26
Sp. Atk - roll 29-33
Sp. Def - roll 26-30
Speed - roll 32-38
User avatar #90 to #89 - sylphz (12/13/2014) [-]
Evolution is another factor that needs to be addressed. Depending on your pokemon, it will have different evolution methods that cant necessarily be used online, such as trading or affection/friendship. For those, we can set a specific level to evolve, as well as other prerequisites that might be necessary. Pokemon off the top of my head include:


The list goes on for a few more pokemon, but you get the point.
Stones are another factor, but if the great and glorious leader Admin (praised be his name) were to add these items to FJ somehow, we could 'use' them once and get rid of them after applying the stat changes to our pokemon's evolutionary form.
User avatar #84 to #83 - sylphz (12/13/2014) [-]
**sylphz used "*roll 6, 5-10*"**
**sylphz rolls 06**
**sylphz rolls 09**
**sylphz rolls 07**
**sylphz rolls 10**
**sylphz rolls 06**
**sylphz rolls 07**
User avatar #81 - sylphz (05/29/2014) [-]
I was walking home today, when I saw this dead possum on the side of the road. I went over to it to take a photo, and for some reason it just enchanted me. I knew nothing about this possum or how it lived, but I felt some twinge of sympathy for it. What if it had a kids to feed? I went to touch it, when I noticed the awful stench. It had been decaying for a day, maybe more. Flies surrounded the poor thing. For whatever reason, I just started to get a chubby. I reached down, into my pants, but stopped myself. "No no, this is wrong." I thought to myself. But it was too late to turn back now. I put one hand around my trouser snake, and with the only I started to caress the dead animal. I could feel it's fur pull off with each touch; it's skin move around, completely detached from the bone. I reached one finger back, and started to feel around it's anus. "I have to be in there," I said aloud. I unzipped my pants, and before I knew it, I was inside of this decaying creature, pounding it. Blood and pus soon coated my dick, whether it belonged to the animal or to me I couldn't tell. It made good lubricant nonetheless. As I entered climax for the first time, I could feel a maggot slowly work it's way up my shaft and into my urethra. It's at this time that several passerby's stopped to watch, most masturbating. Soon enough, a cop pulled up to the scene. Instead of arresting me, like I thought he would, he simply pulled out his can of mace and sprayed it onto his dick. "Suck it," he told me. "Suck it like the little whore you are." I couldn't deny him, what position was I in to judge? I've been ******* a dead possum, for Christ's sake! I put my lips around his head, and slowly started to rock back and forth. My tongue swished around, cradling his manhood gently, and he reached back and put his hand onto the back of my head. Before I knew it, his trunk was six inches into my throat, being slammed back and forth repeatedly. As he did this, I still kept my rhythm with the possum, and I could feel more and more maggots start to climb into my dick. I was nearing the point of ecstasy, and so was the cop. I don't know who came first, but it was the most satisfying orgasms of our lives. I pulled out, and so did the officer. "Well now, kid, you run along." he said, as he zipped back up and went to his cruiser. I looked around, and saw the crowd finish up and start to leave. I sat there for, what, hours? I was exhausted. But I had done it.

I ****** my way into a legend.
#80 - sylphz (05/18/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#79 - sylphz (05/18/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#78 - samusthegreat (12/31/2012) [-]
"lol faggot go play tutorial scrub"
"lol faggot go play tutorial scrub"
#75 - samusthegreat (11/25/2012) [-]
MFW League
MFW League
#74 - samusthegreat (11/25/2012) [-]
#71 - samusthegreat (11/24/2012) [-]
Get on my level
User avatar #72 to #71 - sylphz (11/24/2012) [-]
what is this
User avatar #73 to #72 - samusthegreat (11/24/2012) [-]
Progress Quest
User avatar #70 to #69 - sylphz (11/19/2012) [-]
jesus christ how horrifying
User avatar #68 - sylphz (10/10/2012) [-]
**sylphz rolls 7**
User avatar #67 - gazrick (10/01/2012) [-]
**gazrick rolls 183**
User avatar #66 - gazrick (10/01/2012) [-]
**gazrick rolls 95**
User avatar #65 - sylphz (10/01/2012) [-]
**sylphz rolls 33**
#64 - sylphz (09/29/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#63 - sylphz (09/29/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#62 - sylphz (09/27/2012) [-]
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