Oh you left again. Okay then. See you some time.

nah i didn't leave i was just getting food and got distracted by my brother! well there has to be SOMETHING that makes you happy! just do that!!!

If several circumstances change or I fight really hard for something that most likely won't happen, then maybe she'll accept me as a pet or something.

oh come on if you think that way then nothing will happen

Even if I don't think that way, nothing will still happen. I'll have another online friend across the globe, that's it.

tis ok!!!

So how are you doin?

doing good, you?

I wouldn't say I'm doing good. I've lost some of the only people I can hang out with, a person I was supposed to be going to a concert with in november and the girl from Funnyjunk I'm crushing on haven't replied in three weeks and haven't been online in two. So I'd say I'm not exactly in top condition, hehe.

oh no that's not good

Hi again c:
You're really a busy person aren'tya? :3

and by "goof around" i mean spend any time on the internet... haha

unfortunately yeah... life's been asking a lot of me... got a full time job and am constantly working... so not a whole lot of time to goof around

Aw but that sounds like a good thing!

yeah! but awww i'm sorry i'm not on more often!!!

its fine
im afraid you caught me at a bad moment too...

why what happened???

Ah I don't remember now.
How's it going? c:

It's pretty damn awesome, yeah. Also, I've just watched the two Hellboy movies. Pretty good, better than I'd expected. Still kinda silly and had plotholes though.

i've watched those! i don't remember much about the second but i liked the first!! oh i saw a pretty good horror movie yesterday! hellraiser! the ending was kinda weird though so i didn't like the end but the rest was good!

Which Hellraiser are we talking here?

not sure... which ones are there!?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellraiser_(franchise)
Nine ._.

goodness! well i saw the original... if the one in the picture at the top of the article there is the original... because that's the one i saw

I think it is. I read some of the Hellraiser comics on /x/ back in the day, and those were frigging amazing

OOOOHHHH MY GOODNESS!! there are comics!??!? awesome!

There are, and they're pretty morbid and abstract. I liked it though.
Also, something strange has happened. Strange and stupid.

oh no what happened!?

I fell in love ;_;

isn't that good!?

Nah. That's never good.

well... i mean i'm in love with my fiance and that makes me happy.. so what happened?

Love only brings negative things in my world. Because it's always one-sided. Of course it's good to be in love with your fiance, but I just have crushes on people.

well maybe tell her something really nice might happen!!!

don't beleive him, he lies
i was never here

I did. She doesn't love me back, at least not yet. It's also complicated, if we actually lived closer, then maybe. But no

well you said not yet.. so theres hope!?

Well you know. Being succesful has never meant much to me. I just want to be able to make money off of doing something I like.

that's always a good thing to do

Yeah, so I can buy some good distractions c:

hahaha always fun!!! so do you watch TV a lot or anything? like... movies maybe? which ones do you like!?

I don't have a TV, but I watch many series and movies. Mostly comedy series and horror movies, I like Whose Line is it Anyways and Doctor Who. Also some anime. You? c:

AHHHHHH i love whose line is it anyway!!! and i've seen a lot of doctor who! i enjoyed that thoroughly yeah i like comedies and horror and goofy romantic crap! basically anything xD my family's been really into this show called "hell on wheels" it's a cowboy type thing! pretty good i'm not usually into cowboy stuff but yeah.. i like this oh and yeah! a lot of my friends are into anime!! i myself haven't seen much but i really love hayao miyazaki's movies! grew up with totoro and spirited away and so they're pretty close to my heart!

I just don't like soaps. And most American humor is dildos

haha oh wait i thought you said horror xD well anyway... yeah i'm not a big fan of NEWER horror movies... that's what i meant

I honestly prefer newer movies, because I can't take older movies seriously, but yeah, 2012 had some seriously crap horror. I have to say, my favorites are probably The Unborn (although the ending kinda sucked), Grave Encounters 1 & 2 (the acting is great in these) and maybe The Mist.

well not like.. super old black and white weird goofy costume stuff... like.. i guess it's not that old... just not like SUUUUPER recent... it's mostly jump scares in recent movies and that's not scary... that's surprising... but i expect it now so.. yeah... AHHHHH I LOVE THE MISSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!! yeah those kind of movies are the ones i like

Also the first Silent Hill movie was alright. The newest one was bad, but it had some creepy things.

i liked the first one!! haven't seen the new one

Well you should watch it for the few creepy scenes and for laughing at the rest.

haha that's always fun!! xD hmmm... another funny horror movie is cabin in the woods... more funny than horror but i guess some wouldn't like if because it's gory-ish... by some peoples standards... but i was laughing during most of it

I liked the ending. It should just be an entire movie like that. Where every possible fantasy monster runs rampant.

it was GREAT!! haha i was like "oh yes!! run wild!!!" while laughing my ass off xD

Very interesting to spot all the monsters. Did you know all the special infected from Left 4 Dead are in the movie because they were gonna make a Cabin level in the game?

I DID NOT that's sooooo cooool!!!

meh i'm not a big fan of the newer stuff but i like the older stuff not much scares me anymore.... so if you have any good horror movies that are good and scary i'd like some new ideas!

That's just hard to see, you know? When everyone except the ones you've never met just ignore you, it gets VERY hard to believe that it's not just something people say because they don't really know me.
But yeah, I do agree that we should talk about other things than my unsolvable issues, and I'm sorry we've talked so much about them.

no don't be sorry! you need to talk about them! what i meant was.. maybe you'd see me as a friend if we talked about other stuff too... i'm not saying "hey don't tell me your problems" cuz friends do that too! but i just think maybe you'd see me as an actual friend if you talked to me like an actual friend!

Well I suppose it's hard when I don't really like online games and I'm too shy to voice chat, but we could always just text chat

text chats are good

Yeah. It's the only conversational type that gets me friends
Okay so what do you do in your spare time?

I draw a lot, watch TV, play with my pets and sleep what do you do!?

Ooh, wanna share some drawings? And you have pets? Which ones? c:
Well I play music and game, mostly. I've gotten a ton of new games lately c:

sure yeah! this picture is one i drew a couple weeks ago x) it's vanellope from the newish disney movie wreck-it ralph don't know if you've seen it.. its super cute! and yeah! i have a dog (beagle) a cat and a snake!!! ooooo! what instument or instruments do you play?! i kinda sorta play the clarinet and have been thinking about picking up a guitar and having my brother teach me how to play... and what games do you play!?

Yeah I did watch Wreck-it Ralph although I don't really think the movie was good. Very boring in comparison to another animated movie I saw the same day; Kung-fu Panda 2. Great great movie can't wait for more.
I play guitar and sing, although I can't do either of them that well even though I've been doing it for years. And I'm currently playing some PS3 games and Diablo 2 with a guy I know. I recently bought Soul Calibur V collector's edition for cheap (picture)
Also, nice drawing c:

awww i haven't seen kung fu panda 2! i should watch it i saw the first one and liked it!!! that's cool!! and i'm sure youre a fantastic singer and guitarist ;) but if not... it's cool i played clarinet for 7 years and never really was that good... practice helps though!!

Nah I suck at music and even though i practice I never really get better. I have to play music though. It's not good. It's ugly and lazy. But I have to play.
And you should totally watch KP2, it's actually a really good sequel. I can't wait for the next movies.

Well whether you're good or not it's good to have something like that to spend your time doing and oh yeah i totally will!

*waste your time
So what are you spending your days on recently?

studying mostly... i had a huge test thursday but i think i passed so thats awesome!!!

That's great man! What was it about?

it was a certification exam! i'm gonna be a certified vet tech soon!

Woow that's awesome! I have a job but I'm by no means certified to do anything

aww you don't need to be certified to do anything to be successful!

And then they're not them any more. That's what I'm placed with here. Lots of people who aren't who they are.

but maybe they aren't anymore because they're shy? and they can only loosen up with alcohol enough to get out and talk to new people

I don't want to talk the first time to a drunk person. Drunk people are weak and full of **** . Also unpredictable and scary. I'm sad that nothing can be about the pleasure of being with another human anymore.

yeah... drunk people weird me out too... i don't know what to say

All the people I could want to hang with are scattered over the world. No way they could become part of my daily life.

now... i'm sure there are people like us SOMEWHERE near you... maybe... i don't know..

Well I have no way of finding out. So I'm still just as alone.

you won't always be that way though.... unless you keep that attitude anyway...

It's not an attitude. It's the dominating thoughts in my mind. I consider everything, but the negative sides are always more numerous. I'm not negative by choice, but the negative sides happen to outweigh the positive ones x10

well even if the negative stuff outweighs the positives.. you still can choose to focus more on the positives

Because I'm a realist, I don't have that luxury. I can't just believe things I don't believe in.

i.. don't know how to help then.. cuz i guess i'm kinda an optimist.. its what makes me happy.. not to dwell on the bad and to focus on the good.. my current favorite saying actually is "don't stress the could have's.. if it should have.. it would have" and i've been saying it a lot lately

That seems like what I'm saying too. If I should have been loved, I would have.

well that's not what it meant... it meant don't dwell on the past

Oh I don't do that either. I'm one hundred percent in the now.

well you seem to be doing that... seeing as how you are always judging how people will treat you as how they have treated you in the past.. you keep telling me you give up on people and stuff and don't think anyone will love you... that's all based on the PAST... because right now is the now and unless there is someone right as you read this saying they hate you and you will never have friends.. giving you a reason to think that way being in the now.. then you are indeed dwelling on the past

No I am not, I am merely seeing the now which happens to be based on the past. No matter how many people I've met and how many friends I thought I had in the past, now they turn out to not care. It's the present that shows me that no one can love me.

i just want you to see that you're not alone here.... i'm here for you... the other funnyjunkers who comment on your statuses and talk to you on skype are here for you.... i just don't know how else to show you that... i'm sorry you keep saying that you still "feel alone" but i'm trying my best to make you stop feeling that way... maybe if we were to talk about something just.. fun to talk about? like an actual friendship would be i guess? i'm here to listen to your problems but i also just... wanna be your friend to talk to you about other stuff.... more.. fun stuff i guess... so if you ever wanna do that too... tell me about your interests?

ok.... well... i can't really help you then at this point.. i'm not a therapist and i don't live near you so you don't consider me or anyone else on this site and your skype and stuff your friends... good to know.. sorry.. i thought we were but you constantly saying that you have no friends to me and probably several others HURTS ok? i'm sorry... i'm not trying to be mean.. it just hurts that here i am.. trying my hardest to make you happy and show you people care and you just keep telling me that nothing i'm trying to do works because "you don't think that way" and i can't make you think that way so.. i'm not sure what else to do.... i'm not sure what else to say... just know that we here on funnyjunk and i'm sure skype cuz you mentioned having a couple friends on there you talk to care... and if we don't count then i don't see how we can help... i'm TRYING SO HARD... and i WILL always be here to talk to... but it gets hurtful when you just keep denying anyone online as your friends... because we "don't count" but just know i care.. and so do all your other funnyjunk/skype and other online friends.. please.. just... try to see that....

well i'm sorry... i'm not sure why me talking to you about your problems doesn't show you that people care about you but if you don't think it does then ok.. fiine..

And yet I somehow end up trusting people too easily again. You know, if one gets hurt enough times, he dies.

you'll be ok

Haha if only. But enough about me, how are YOU doing? So rude of me to whine so much at once. So tell me what you've been up to c:

I had a scary week... but a good one before that... found out some scary stuff but it's getting better... hopefully it'll continue to do so

Scary stuff? :c

my mom found out she has breast cancer... it might be better than it sounds if it didn't hit the lymph nodes and she might not need chemo but its still scary... sorry i was gone btw i went out of town for a week

Oh that's horrible to hear! I seriously hope it's not as bad as it might sound :c

i hope so too.. i can't do much but hope...

I don't know what I can say :c

it's ok! i'll just hope it turns out ok! thanks for the huggy gifs

Meh. I need someone to talk to right now, and there are no one I can talk to online. Oh well.

whats wrong? have a hug

It's just the same old thing you know? I feel so lonely. And I fear that no one can love me. And I have no friends to go hang out with.

you wont be lonely forever! its ok!!

I don't see how this could change. It's a direct effect of who I am, and I can't be anyone else.

nah you'll find someone to party with

Yeah... when they're drunk enough to don't care who they're with

well don't think of things like that! maybe they're shy and are less shy after they drink?

No problem. No one has enough hugs. Least of all me

But that doesn't matter if it never happens. Oh well, I can keep living on temporary illusions, that's what I've always had to. And I gotta go to work now, I'll see your reply later

alright! have fun at work! and eventually it won't be temporary... trust me....

I wish I could trust you, but every single fact and experience points the other way. Words alone don't mean much any more, I'm afraid. It makes me kinda glad that you show that you care about me, although it will probably die pretty quickly.

nah i'll always care! don't be afraid!

I've heard that before.

well if you're not going to believe me then ok.

Making that promise just isn't enough to actually hold it. I've been promised that before by people who forgot me. I wish a simple promise was enough, but you're not going to keep it unless I keep pestering you. It's not like you like me, it's not like we have fun together or share a hobby, it's just me bitching and moaning like I always do. It's no wonder that people get tired of me.

...here i saw this and thought it might help... www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xx_pwu7n-Y but if you don't want to let me try to help you feel better than ok... i'm just trying to help... you know why? because i care... but if you don't believe me then i can't make you so ok

As I've said I'm glad that you're trying, but I'm losing faith in even my best of friends right now, so yeah Idunno. i dont want to be alon again

i'll be here... if you need someone to talk to...

Thanks. I'm sorry I'm such a horrible friend, but I'm not at my best these days

nah i understand! i'm gonna sleep now though so i'll talk to you some time soon!

Goodnight, sleep well.
You know, I wish someone would prove me wrong, but everyone just proves me right.

just wait. someone will

Hahaha, ahhhh. If only.

trust man ;) trust

And that's the keyword, I lost the small amount of trust I'd built up. That's what happens when you trust people, you lose it again, and the next time becomes even harder.

yeah thats ok... i have trouble trusting just anyone too.. i get it

There are. Sadly I cannot reach that by myself. So I buy stuff to distract me instead.

do something fun! don't live a sad life! be happy!!!

I don't think you understand. I can find happiness in good food. What I need is much more than happiness. Just happiness is the same as distraction.

maybe you should think of it differently! think of it as something that genuinely makes you happy! drawing genuinely makes me happy and so does music! i could sit and say that they are just distractions from my sadness which they are... but because they make my heart feel good even when i'm super sad... i like to say that they do truly make me happy

Music amplifies emotions. Not just positive ones. The songs I can play have feelings attached to them too. Like that one guitar melody from Metro 2033, it feels lonely. Or the Seether song about how I'm fine again when I'm actually not. Or the incredibly racist danish satire song from and old danish sketch show, it feels hilarious.

hahaha listen to the ones that feel funny! the ones that give you happier feelings!

I can't just listen to two songs for the rest of my life. And in either case, playing music always feel lonely.

i don't know.. it's what i do.. i have tons of music for all types of moods.... but you need to find that thing that makes you happy and forget all the crap people put you through

I can forget. I can even accept being lonely when I play music. So that's what I do. It's what I need to do.

maybe that's ok... i mean it helps you just be happy in a way

Yup. And some people can even believe that I'm not lonely when I play. Of course, no one really wants me to play or anything. I just do it anyways and hope I'm not too annoying

you're not annoying... i think even if it starts out as an act... when people see you content with your life and not being sad and lonely they might approach you easier? i'm not sure... do you have a job? if not you will probably make friends easier when you get one

I've gotten a job at a small mechanical workshop. One of the guys there are pretty nice.
And yeah, I am annoying. You can paint in peace, but you can't music in peace, so unavoidably I'm going to be annoying. I'll just hope it won't be too bad.

nah headphones are nice for that and yay you should talk to that nice guy! just be his pal! he might be a solution to your loneliness!! don't sell yourself short bro! you're an awesome guy with a great personality and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend so talk to him and make him your chum

Well we do talk at work. He's got a week off right now though.
And I know I'm an awesome person, but in some ways I seem to bore the people around me. I can't think of any other reason why even good friends would just leave me without looking back. I really thought things had changed for a bit. Naive, huh?

well... it sounds like you're at that awkward age where i'm at, friends leave and don't think anything of it... it happens because we're all starting our lives and going in different directions... not sure if that's what you're going through but i seem to be experiencing that... nah you're not naive! i've had good friends leave me too.. it sucks, i know... you just need to push through and find more friends to replace the jerks who left.. eventually you'll find the one that sticks

I thought I had done that. But in the end, no matter which group I'm in, I'm always in the corner. I'm never really IN that group. So when the group or the individuals move on, I'm the one they ignore. Even if someone promised me he wouldn't leave. But I suppose it's to be expected. Everyone has really found themselves and their love during these last three years, but I'm still swimming. So I suppose they'd all ignore the immature guy.