Rank #1284 on CommentsLevel 317 Comments: Wizard
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|Date Signed Up:||12/14/2011|
|FunnyJunk Career Stats|
|Highest Content Rank:||#762|
|Highest Comment Rank:||#123|
|Content Thumbs:||5587 total, 6209 , 622|
|Comment Thumbs:||21636 total, 26325 , 4689|
|Content Level Progress:|| 68% (68/100) |
Level 142 Content: Faptastic → Level 143 Content: Faptastic
|Comment Level Progress:|| 26.8% (268/1000) |
Level 317 Comments: Wizard → Level 318 Comments: Wizard
|Times Content Favorited:||268 times|
|Total Comments Made:||7092|
|Favorite Tags:||FJ (3) | 4Chan (2) | i (2) | RIP (2) | roll (2) | shit (2)|
Would you fuck me?
I'd fuck me.
I'd fuck me.
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latest user's comments
|#97 - This is hilarious bait.||08/20/2016 on No title needed||0|
|#31 - Not an advanced degree, apparently. [+] (25 new replies)||08/19/2016 on please?||+1|
#32 - thehistorylover (08/19/2016) [-]
**thehistorylover used "*roll picture*"**
**thehistorylover rolled image**Not really advanced at all. All I've done with it is write indie books.
#51 - jonandstuff (08/20/2016) [-]
If you are the person who did that, I have a question.
Is there a reason why you chose self publishing over a certain well known publishing house?
Could the profits and reach you get as a self publisher potentially get you enough to keep writing as your main profession for at least until your next novel or novella?
I write in my spare time, never sent any of my novellas away to be published or rejected, but I love it so much I am almost seriously considering making it my job dealy.
Also, I don't care for watermelon... Sorry I am not sorry.
#68 - jonandstuff (08/21/2016) [-]
Also, sorry about the little novella of a comment I made, I like meeting writers, indie or main stream, it's not a rare dream to be a writer, but each one I have met has taught me a lesson (Sometimes the lesson is, if that guy can do it with his shitty book, I will be a god among writer! Then some evil laughter and shit. Thunder striking perfectly in tune with my laugh.)
#72 - jonandstuff (08/22/2016) [-]
Erotica is hard to write for me, though I never tried writing a straight up sexually driven book, only sex scenes and the like. I mean one on one I can write sexual stuff, like sexting or some shit, but when you have to use words like shaft instead of cock, and weird shit like juices, and trembling womanhood... just makes it sound weird to me.
#74 - jonandstuff (08/24/2016) [-]
Is that your genre of choice, Erotica/Romance and such? Or do you just write whatever you fancy? I think I saw on your amazon author bio you also like horror.
Sorry about keeping this back and forth going, if it is annoying to you, or something. I really got nothing going on, also it is difficult to know when you are over staying your welcome via text. Unless someone straight up says something.
#75 - thehistorylover (08/24/2016) [-]
I prefer erotica/romance, but I like to blend in genres such as horror, fantasy, and action, mostly fantasy. Fantasy lets me make shit up. My first book, a novella, isn't very erotic, sadly. My second book has some more sex but no horror. Just dark comedy, violence, and magic god stuff.
#76 - jonandstuff (08/24/2016) [-]
Okay, so I may or may not be on a drug cocktail right now. Disclaimer: Have not read your book, but as you said, fucking fifty shades of twilight sold, so who cares about quality, obviously not the masses. I looked into it for you, and I have a few tips.
Do you have a twitter, facebook, or some other bullshit social media page set up for your professional self? Like @Krishtina Mayers or some fuck. Creating a presence online where your adoring public can complain to you, annoy you, distract you from writing, etc. is very important. Sad, yes, but important nonetheless.
Get new covers for your books, professionally done. The old saying "Don't judge etc etc cover." yeah. Fuck that, you will be judged by your cover. Even if it's an ebook where it really doesn't matter.
Make out with guys named Jon (Google it, totally real)
Send free downloads/copies of your book to some blokes on the net who review books and then post a sweet ass one liner quote of the best thing they said about your book and the star rating they gave you on said new professional cover.
Take a more professional picture (Black and white is cliche but all the awesome guys do it, so I recommend black and white.), and create a more professional Author's Bio. I know you love water melon, but perhaps that is something you leave out of your bio. hahaha.
Hopefully you enjoy advice, some people get really insulted from advice.
#77 - thehistorylover (08/25/2016) [-]
**thehistorylover used "*roll picture*"**
**thehistorylover rolled image**I did have a Facebook. It did absolutely nothing at all. I gave up on it. As for professionally done covers, well ... I'm broke as fuck. No job. No driver's license. Little to no money. Also, PayPal refuses my bank. Even if I had cash, I don't think I'd be able to hire an artist. I'm not going to just give them my credit card (don't even have a credit card, actually). I think the reason why PayPal won't work is that they refuse to provide services in my state, or at least, that's what I heard. I have not only given out my book for free, I have sold my book for free on Amazon at times. Also, professional pictures are just as lost to me as the professional covers. As for professional bios ... is there even such a thing? Author bios are pretentious as fuck. I know I'm just being a whiny, bitchy, annoying little cunt, but god damn do I HATE author bios. I just typed out whatever I felt would be amusing.
I'm sorry for being so ... negative. I don't mean to be rude to you.
#78 - jonandstuff (08/25/2016) [-]
No, not rude at all, honesty is (As the Spanish say) bueno. I am basically in the same boat, except I have a motorcycle license. Other than that and my state ID, I got shit. Wait.. I do have a bank account and a credit card I use to get my credit score up. Basic stuff.
I am sort of one of those... What are they called.... Losers. It seems real life and adulthood aren't something I am too bueno at. I am pretty good at Life the board game though. (That's a lie, I cheat, the ol rob the bank when nobody is looking trick.)
#79 - thehistorylover (08/25/2016) [-]
I, too, am a loser. My ex boyfriend even screamed at me that I was a loser.
Currently, I'm trying to think up of a sequel to my second book. It's going to be more complicated. Instead of focusing on the gods, it's going to focus on the mortals, several centuries after the events of the previous book. One of the most difficult things for me, even in a fantasy world, is figuring out how basic economies and governments function. I want the protagonist to be a partner in a successful company that trades and sells stuff ... with 17th century inspired technology, a massive empire that is slowly taking over the world, and occasional magic stuff ... and lesbian sex. Not only do I have to learn how people do adult shit, I have to learn how people did adult shit in the 17th century. I don't know how to write a check, but now I have to figure out how a ... shipping company (is that the word for it?) would work. Plus, war strategy. That shit is harder than Hades' dick after he kidnapped a chick to be his wife. How am I supposed to know where one is supposed to attack ... or camp out ... or what the fuck ever?! BLARGH!!!!!! Learning about the fashion trends, especially in European countries in the 17th century, is the best part, though.
#80 - jonandstuff (08/25/2016) [-]
Believe it or not, actually, most if not all of that shit you just listed is shit I know about. I like history too, however I am one of those autismo history lovers who don't just know the good shit but know who the british government was trading with and why.
To be fair though, ex folk say many rude things, I have, they have to me, honestly if being a loser means you don't work well in the corporate bs world we now have, you are a coolio joe in my book. Coolio Joe is much cooler than Cotten Eye Joe.
#82 - thehistorylover (08/25/2016) [-]
I obsess over weird things in history. I once watched a review of a film called Tine Changer. It was a Christian propaganda film about an 1890s guy time travelling to 2002 and being shocked and confused at shit. Funny enough, he was shocked and confused about shit an 1890s American man would not be shocked and confused about. Examples: baseball, fountains, kissing, church people doing activities together, and young women drinking alcohol. Funniest shit ever.
#84 - jonandstuff (08/25/2016) [-]
Perhaps if you are trying to write a more period like book, creating your own world would be a good way to go, simply knowing the basics of how trade, currency, and fashion of whatever time you are trying to flesh out would be enough. Like the game Dishonored, though not earth, the period it places into is similar to earths period minus the steam punk esque technology and electricity.
#88 - jonandstuff (08/25/2016) [-]
I believe it has to do with the lack of resources for Americans during the second world war. Driving alone when you can carpool with a neighbor means the more fuel that could have gone to our troops over seas being wasted back at home for the unimportant luxury of being able to drive alone in comfort.
Basically when you aren't willing to sacrifice for the men over seas, you are helping Hitler more than your own countrymen.
#67 - jonandstuff (08/21/2016) [-]
I have always wanted to co-write a book with someone, doing it alone is great, and unbeatable. However I think creating a world with someone may be fun. At the very least, a great way to improve my writing style, getting advice from someone who I trust as a like minded and similarly skilled writer.
If I do go to college (Which I will, but right now I am taking care of my mother with cancer.) would you say that what you learned from that fancy schmancy collegiate book learning school helped your writing? I never thought skill writing perfectly mattered. Though I try the best to not sound stupid, such as using proper spelling and grammar. I mean when I read Cormac McCarthy, one of my favorite writers of his many genres, he refuses to use commas, and any other form of punctuation other than the prime three (?!.). Maybe he just gets away with it because he is a classic maker, maybe he got lucky, but it seems each writer has their own special flaws and odd ways of writing, the greats do, at least.
|#135 - holy ****||08/16/2016 on Choose wisely helmut||0|
|#13 - raging clue etc give me thumbs now [+] (3 new replies)||08/15/2016 on Subr Ardelemerd Zedassemmu||+21|
|#14 - It could be far worse.||08/15/2016 on raccoon||+8|
|#61 - Trust me, you don't want to stand out. Standing out is what th…||08/15/2016 on My Life In Memes Part 7||+7|
|#31 - m'dude||08/15/2016 on Dank WebM Comp 28||+1|
|#29 - Tally Hall is ******* great. [+] (4 new replies)||08/15/2016 on Dank WebM Comp 28||+2|
|#86 - IT'S SLY MARB-||08/15/2016 on NSFMR||+1|
|#96396 - Falco is cool but nah||08/07/2016 on Items board 2||0|