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pocketpotato

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pocketpotato Avatar Level 258 Comments: Contaminated Win
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Gender: female
Age: 22
Date Signed Up:4/13/2011
Last Login:3/17/2014
Location:NorCal
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 460 total,  635 ,  175
Comment Thumbs: 5848 total,  6256 ,  408
Content Level Progress: 90% (9/10)
Level 45 Content: Sammich eater → Level 46 Content: Sammich eater
Comment Level Progress: 0% (0/100)
Level 258 Comments: Contaminated Win → Level 259 Comments: Contaminated Win
Subscribers:1
Content Views:29813
Times Content Favorited:7 times
Total Comments Made:614
FJ Points:6269

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funny pictures

  • Views: 12934
    Thumbs Up 458 Thumbs Down 75 Total: +383
    Comments: 94
    Favorites: 2
    Uploaded: 02/02/12
    Just wondering... Just wondering...
  • Views: 7826
    Thumbs Up 67 Thumbs Down 9 Total: +58
    Comments: 12
    Favorites: 4
    Uploaded: 01/20/12
    BUT THAT WAS OURS BUT THAT WAS OURS
  • Views: 2421
    Thumbs Up 15 Thumbs Down 3 Total: +12
    Comments: 0
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 04/29/11
    Wet Tshirt Contest Wet Tshirt Contest
  • Views: 1223
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    Uploaded: 11/04/12
    Sums it up Sums it up
  • Views: 823
    Thumbs Up 17 Thumbs Down 7 Total: +10
    Comments: 5
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 03/08/12
    Madness Madness
  • Views: 2215
    Thumbs Up 12 Thumbs Down 3 Total: +9
    Comments: 4
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 10/08/12
    Snidely Whiplash Snidely Whiplash
1 2 > [ 8 Funny Pictures Total ]
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latest user's comments

#60 - Opinions are like assholes. We all have one and they all stink. 12/31/2013 on Burn Beeatch! 0
#85 - Judging by how laughably uninformed some guys are about how va… 12/23/2013 on ahhh, good o'l mitt! 0
#28 - Okay. Challenge accepted, I will try to make it as clear as I …  [+] (5 new replies) 12/23/2013 on ahhh, good o'l mitt! +28
#50 - mssofieg (12/23/2013) [-]
Yoy be my hero girl!
#37 - CaptainPugwash (12/23/2013) [-]
Providing a public service.
#35 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
nice response... thanks!
#31 - zekeon (12/23/2013) [-]
So if porn is lying to me, does that mean that I don't have to have a 12" cock with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun swathed in the oils of Slaanesh and blessed by the Nine Divines themselves to feel like a man when I'm with a woman?



inb4 ponyfags don't get to be with women
User avatar #36 - frienderman (12/23/2013) [-]
"with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun" may just be the best way I've ever heard a dick described. Well done, sir.
#26 - girls have that too. dildos. and tampons are as different from…  [+] (7 new replies) 12/23/2013 on ahhh, good o'l mitt! +5
#27 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
please explain as in what is so different about it...
like for example little anal-beads and stuff, you know... shoving little things up a vag sometimes arouses chicks. so the basic question was mre like: why not the tampon?
User avatar #28 - pocketpotato (12/23/2013) [-]
Okay. Challenge accepted, I will try to make it as clear as I possibly can. Let's start with a statistic: only like, 30% or so of women are able to orgasm from penetration alone, and even for that lucky bunch it requires some buildup of arousal and excitement (foreplay!) before it will work.

For the rest of us, orgasm comes from the clit, it's basically the dick of the whole setup. Penetration is like getting your balls licked, it's awesome and feels good but you don't quite get off from that alone. For an actual orgasm you have to stimulate the clitoris.

Anal beads and whatever other little toys and stuff are all part of foreplay to get all wound up and ready, because having sex without being properly aroused is actually really uncomfortable, you're all dry and tense and it just isn't awesome. When you're ready, you're wet and relaxed and it's good. Either that, or they're for use ONLY after you're good and ready, during the actual sex. Also, getting aroused is at least 50% mental for a woman. If you aren't thinking sexy thoughts, then no matter where you touch or what you do, not much is going to happen.

Sex toys are shaped specifically and given the right textures to be pleasing. A tampon is very small (like the girth of perhaps a pen or marker? It hardly even stretches you), and made of cheap plastic and cotton. You stick it in with no preparation, completely unaroused, so it kind of hurts, and then it just sits in there. There is literally nothing sexy or pleasurable about it. Again, it's like taking your limp dick and putting it in a tin can or something like that.

TL;DR: Porn lied and women are a lot more complicated to please than just sticking stuff into them.
#50 - mssofieg (12/23/2013) [-]
Yoy be my hero girl!
#37 - CaptainPugwash (12/23/2013) [-]
Providing a public service.
#35 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
nice response... thanks!
#31 - zekeon (12/23/2013) [-]
So if porn is lying to me, does that mean that I don't have to have a 12" cock with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun swathed in the oils of Slaanesh and blessed by the Nine Divines themselves to feel like a man when I'm with a woman?



inb4 ponyfags don't get to be with women
User avatar #36 - frienderman (12/23/2013) [-]
"with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun" may just be the best way I've ever heard a dick described. Well done, sir.
#24 - true, they don't. but as far as like, sexiness it would be the…  [+] (9 new replies) 12/23/2013 on ahhh, good o'l mitt! +12
#25 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
and some guys would come if it didnt hurt... most likely like the "travel-vag"
User avatar #26 - pocketpotato (12/23/2013) [-]
girls have that too. dildos. and tampons are as different from dildos as bare, too-big pvc pipes are from fleshlights.
#27 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
please explain as in what is so different about it...
like for example little anal-beads and stuff, you know... shoving little things up a vag sometimes arouses chicks. so the basic question was mre like: why not the tampon?
User avatar #28 - pocketpotato (12/23/2013) [-]
Okay. Challenge accepted, I will try to make it as clear as I possibly can. Let's start with a statistic: only like, 30% or so of women are able to orgasm from penetration alone, and even for that lucky bunch it requires some buildup of arousal and excitement (foreplay!) before it will work.

For the rest of us, orgasm comes from the clit, it's basically the dick of the whole setup. Penetration is like getting your balls licked, it's awesome and feels good but you don't quite get off from that alone. For an actual orgasm you have to stimulate the clitoris.

Anal beads and whatever other little toys and stuff are all part of foreplay to get all wound up and ready, because having sex without being properly aroused is actually really uncomfortable, you're all dry and tense and it just isn't awesome. When you're ready, you're wet and relaxed and it's good. Either that, or they're for use ONLY after you're good and ready, during the actual sex. Also, getting aroused is at least 50% mental for a woman. If you aren't thinking sexy thoughts, then no matter where you touch or what you do, not much is going to happen.

Sex toys are shaped specifically and given the right textures to be pleasing. A tampon is very small (like the girth of perhaps a pen or marker? It hardly even stretches you), and made of cheap plastic and cotton. You stick it in with no preparation, completely unaroused, so it kind of hurts, and then it just sits in there. There is literally nothing sexy or pleasurable about it. Again, it's like taking your limp dick and putting it in a tin can or something like that.

TL;DR: Porn lied and women are a lot more complicated to please than just sticking stuff into them.
#50 - mssofieg (12/23/2013) [-]
Yoy be my hero girl!
#37 - CaptainPugwash (12/23/2013) [-]
Providing a public service.
#35 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
nice response... thanks!
#31 - zekeon (12/23/2013) [-]
So if porn is lying to me, does that mean that I don't have to have a 12" cock with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun swathed in the oils of Slaanesh and blessed by the Nine Divines themselves to feel like a man when I'm with a woman?



inb4 ponyfags don't get to be with women
User avatar #36 - frienderman (12/23/2013) [-]
"with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun" may just be the best way I've ever heard a dick described. Well done, sir.
#20 - It's the exact same as if a girl asked "How do guys not c…  [+] (14 new replies) 12/23/2013 on ahhh, good o'l mitt! +38
#58 - jaergerjaquez has deleted their comment.
User avatar #29 - jokeface (12/23/2013) [-]
Are you implying that I don't cum every time I insert my dick in a PVC pipe?
User avatar #22 - douthit (12/23/2013) [-]
Except guys don't do that.
User avatar #44 - domny (12/23/2013) [-]
it was an example you dwerp
User avatar #24 - pocketpotato (12/23/2013) [-]
true, they don't. but as far as like, sexiness it would be the male equivalent of tampon insertion.
#25 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
and some guys would come if it didnt hurt... most likely like the "travel-vag"
User avatar #26 - pocketpotato (12/23/2013) [-]
girls have that too. dildos. and tampons are as different from dildos as bare, too-big pvc pipes are from fleshlights.
#27 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
please explain as in what is so different about it...
like for example little anal-beads and stuff, you know... shoving little things up a vag sometimes arouses chicks. so the basic question was mre like: why not the tampon?
User avatar #28 - pocketpotato (12/23/2013) [-]
Okay. Challenge accepted, I will try to make it as clear as I possibly can. Let's start with a statistic: only like, 30% or so of women are able to orgasm from penetration alone, and even for that lucky bunch it requires some buildup of arousal and excitement (foreplay!) before it will work.

For the rest of us, orgasm comes from the clit, it's basically the dick of the whole setup. Penetration is like getting your balls licked, it's awesome and feels good but you don't quite get off from that alone. For an actual orgasm you have to stimulate the clitoris.

Anal beads and whatever other little toys and stuff are all part of foreplay to get all wound up and ready, because having sex without being properly aroused is actually really uncomfortable, you're all dry and tense and it just isn't awesome. When you're ready, you're wet and relaxed and it's good. Either that, or they're for use ONLY after you're good and ready, during the actual sex. Also, getting aroused is at least 50% mental for a woman. If you aren't thinking sexy thoughts, then no matter where you touch or what you do, not much is going to happen.

Sex toys are shaped specifically and given the right textures to be pleasing. A tampon is very small (like the girth of perhaps a pen or marker? It hardly even stretches you), and made of cheap plastic and cotton. You stick it in with no preparation, completely unaroused, so it kind of hurts, and then it just sits in there. There is literally nothing sexy or pleasurable about it. Again, it's like taking your limp dick and putting it in a tin can or something like that.

TL;DR: Porn lied and women are a lot more complicated to please than just sticking stuff into them.
#50 - mssofieg (12/23/2013) [-]
Yoy be my hero girl!
#37 - CaptainPugwash (12/23/2013) [-]
Providing a public service.
#35 - kanedam (12/23/2013) [-]
nice response... thanks!
#31 - zekeon (12/23/2013) [-]
So if porn is lying to me, does that mean that I don't have to have a 12" cock with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun swathed in the oils of Slaanesh and blessed by the Nine Divines themselves to feel like a man when I'm with a woman?



inb4 ponyfags don't get to be with women
User avatar #36 - frienderman (12/23/2013) [-]
"with the girth of of a 120mm tank gun" may just be the best way I've ever heard a dick described. Well done, sir.
#351 - But generally if you have a larger thumb, you also have longer…  [+] (1 new reply) 12/23/2013 on Fallout Boy +2
#353 - firebomber (12/23/2013) [-]
whoa... dude... you're far out
#24 - More like a BEATIN' man, eh?? that was a m…  [+] (1 new reply) 12/12/2013 on halp +10
User avatar #100 - dreadscythe (12/13/2013) [-]
yeah im sure he's quite the butcher
#6 - Dat Ass 12/12/2013 on Gotta go fast +1
#16 - Picture 12/06/2013 on He would buy more blubber... 0
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - twi (11/22/2013) [-]
**twi rolled a random comment #145643 posted by rebornpooper at Hating - file complaints, whine, airline complaints, rustle jimmies ** :
>mfw he gets so mad he thumbs your comments, and you're gentleman enough not to do the same to he
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