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noahz

Rank #7233 on Content
noahz Avatar Level 216 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Personal Info
Age: 22
Date Signed Up:3/09/2010
Last Login:12/19/2014
Location:MA
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#7233
Comment Ranking:#7819
Highest Content Rank:#3193
Highest Comment Rank:#5707
Content Thumbs: 4096 total,  4652 ,  556
Comment Thumbs: 1730 total,  2270 ,  540
Content Level Progress: 37% (37/100)
Level 139 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 140 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 41% (41/100)
Level 216 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 217 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:1
Content Views:153550
Times Content Favorited:133 times
Total Comments Made:1212
FJ Points:5585
Favorite Tags: funny (10) | bot (4) | clever (4) | mess (4) | up (4) | WTF (4) | Google (3) | lol (3) | test (3) | Bieber (2) | comic (2) | Junk (2) | justin (2) | of (2) | persia (2) | prince (2) | wow (2)
yay

latest user's comments

#56 - thats only 50...  [+] (7 new replies) 09/23/2014 on Guise he's srs -3
User avatar #63 - capslockrage (09/23/2014) [-]
How fucking dumb are you?
User avatar #64 - capslockrage (09/23/2014) [-]
Please reply, I want to know what went through your head when you though that there was only one layer there
User avatar #78 - noahz (09/23/2014) [-]
it was a joke...
#79 - anonymous (09/23/2014) [-]
Jokes are funny.
User avatar #80 - noahz (09/23/2014) [-]
"A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention."-it was written with humorous intention, its not my fault you didn't get it.
User avatar #71 - viviannjames (09/23/2014) [-]
Pls respond.
User avatar #57 - romanlettuce (09/23/2014) [-]
There's layers you tard
#86 - funnyjunk should start a kickstarter to buy that island  [+] (3 new replies) 09/22/2014 on DYK Comp #63 +22
User avatar #119 - ltbuttstrong (09/22/2014) [-]
And we should call it...Jimmies Island
#157 - foogermier (09/22/2014) [-]
I vote we call it Konkey Dong.
User avatar #161 - ltbuttstrong (09/22/2014) [-]
I like that better actually. We can build docks and buy neighbouring islands. Imagine the press release: "We are spreading our wings and our influence. We are expanding Konkey Dong"
#94 - I think the first and last ones are mitch hedberg jokes 09/11/2014 on Food realisations +1
#23 - on the last one... those numbers are so big its impos… 09/09/2014 on DYK Comp #39 0
#326 - why is admin not promoting this amazing deal 09/09/2014 on (Sounds of incoherent rage) +1
#325 - its a box of chocolates 09/09/2014 on (Sounds of incoherent rage) 0
#76 - ..And a tiny dick  [+] (1 new reply) 09/07/2014 on All you need is Imagination 0
#92 - iwasthepapercut (09/07/2014) [-]
For the sake of these calculations we will assume that:

The phone is an iPhone 5 - length 4.8 in
The headphone jack (the penis) is 0.551in long based on the length of the jack on my headphones I just measured since I couldn't find anything online except diameter
The girl is 5' 6'' tall the average being 5' 7.3'' but assume 5 1/2 for simplicity and counter for age since I can't tell how old she is
The SHR (Sitting height ratio) is 51.95% of total height the simple average of the extreme high and low female SHR's by region, Peruvian (55.8) and Australian Aborigines (48.1) respectively
If sitting up straight the girl would be the entire length of the phone.

Now, the girl's true sitting height 66.00in x 0.5195 is 34.29in. The scale of the phone is then 1 : 7.144in 34.29in/4.8in , making the true length of the penis 3.94in 0.551in x 7.144 . Thus we can conclude it is indeed a small penis.
#9 - NIEN!  [+] (1 new reply) 09/03/2014 on Funny Joke From Germany -1
#27 - melolicious (09/03/2014) [-]
IEN ZWIE DRIE VEIR
#34 - David Blaine wins  [+] (3 new replies) 08/22/2014 on Ice bucket 0
User avatar #39 - aldothenazi (08/22/2014) [-]
Yeah with his what 40 days in ice?
User avatar #43 - heroicdose (08/22/2014) [-]
like 60 some hours....?
User avatar #44 - aldothenazi (08/22/2014) [-]
Yeah, well thats even much better than being frozen since long ago BC.
#35 - Gnar from league of legends 08/21/2014 on Fuck you, that's brilliant! 0
#4 - *whatever the hell they want 08/21/2014 on Eminem goes back to high... +2
#30 - you forgot popo  [+] (2 new replies) 08/20/2014 on 911=12 0
User avatar #43 - DemonMatt (08/20/2014) [-]
Police
Po-lice
Po
Popo
User avatar #31 - jokexplain (08/20/2014) [-]
that one's easy
because when you see them you shit yourself
#63 - why did u capitalize every word 08/20/2014 on The promised wifi 0
#1 - "You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you … 08/19/2014 on Irony +1
#40 - You mean if all republicans were secretly democrats, yeah that… 08/19/2014 on Friday +7
#86 - damn so many people use punctuation, i never use periods when i text  [+] (1 new reply) 08/13/2014 on Ex texts be best 0
#145 - skorpius (08/13/2014) [-]
I always punctuate and spell everything correctly in my texts. If it is not perfect, it bugs the shit out of me for the rest of my life.
#32 - This is too perfect 08/05/2014 on The 420 is Ablaze +3
#31 - um this is books not the internet. Although it is weird that s…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/03/2014 on They knew. 0
User avatar #32 - longlivevapix (08/03/2014) [-]
the idea of pocket monsters (the long name for pokemon) has been around for a long time, it's not that suprising.
#72 - close and quit are two different things. Sincerely, i…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/03/2014 on dear Skype. 0
User avatar #141 - cormy (08/03/2014) [-]
This should only apply if there's more than one window open. There should also be the option to just minimize it to the tray, instead of still having it in the Task Bar taking up space.
This actually isn't something that solely affects Skype, iTunes and Spotify, basically anything that is constantly running and live will do it.
Steam, Hamachi, everything in your tray like anti-viruses and the sound system stuff...
#81 - there is no egg in ice cream...  [+] (2 new replies) 07/30/2014 on Random Interesting Facts... -2
User avatar #133 - gmarrox (07/30/2014) [-]
Yeah, not if you use blood
User avatar #90 - fistings (07/30/2014) [-]
yeah there is
#71 - when he's not making spreadsheets he's spreading sheets 07/23/2014 on spreadsheets +4
#210 - have you seen stevie wonder or ray charles? 07/19/2014 on Goodnight everyone. I'm out. 0
#143 - all of it 07/16/2014 on That left hook, though 0
#135 - ipman would still kick the **** outta that dude  [+] (4 new replies) 07/16/2014 on That left hook, though 0
#140 - upyoursnumbnuts (07/16/2014) [-]
Aaaaaaaaaand you are now fist salsa.
User avatar #139 - exarzero (07/16/2014) [-]
I love IP. Go Wing Chun.
User avatar #138 - thelastamerican (07/16/2014) [-]
I still have no idea how much rice he should have gotten for this fight.
User avatar #143 - noahz (07/16/2014) [-]
all of it
#4579 - **noahz rolls 884,871,911** 07/10/2014 on Roll for Red Text 0

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User avatar #2 - noahz (04/08/2012) [-]
haha, i posted on a comment of urs once saying "so ur the reason i cant have the name noah"
User avatar #1 - Noah (04/08/2012) [-]
I feel like I stole your name.
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