Upload
Login or register

mvukotich

Last status update:
-
Gender: male
Age: 19
Date Signed Up:1/30/2012
Last Login:8/23/2016
Location:Pittsburgh
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 621 total,  671 ,  50
Comment Thumbs: 535 total,  586 ,  51
Content Level Progress: 10% (1/10)
Level 62 Content: FJ Cultist → Level 63 Content: FJ Cultist
Comment Level Progress: 70% (7/10)
Level 152 Comments: Faptastic → Level 153 Comments: Faptastic
Subscribers:0
Content Views:19452
Times Content Favorited:34 times
Total Comments Made:111
FJ Points:1139

latest user's comments

#87646 - I'm like 5' 8" or around there. I used to be a lot fatter… 07/30/2013 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#87644 - I'm just interested if girls liking a guy is really based on w…  [+] (3 new replies) 07/30/2013 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#87662 - anon (07/30/2013) [-]
Not necessarily, but it will limit the kind of girls who will be attracted to you (every girl has their own preferences and they are vastly different, probably evolved that way to minimize competition between females). For example, I find myself attracted to really tall men, my best friend is attracted to skinny nerdy men, and I have another friend who is attracted to really buff black men. You just gotta find a girl who is attracted to chubby men, they're out there!

Also, like tends to attract like, because people tend to seek those who are equally as attractive as themselves. If you are on the overweight side, you might have better luck with a cute curvy girl than you would a "dallas cowboy cheerleader" type.
User avatar
#87645 - adrilazzaro (07/30/2013) [-]
how tall are you? sometimes its not even your body, i'm apretty fit guy but ive been friendzoned by chicks who go for fucking skinny ass bones or every day is upperbody day guys.
User avatar
#87646 - mvukotich (07/30/2013) [-]
I'm like 5' 8" or around there. I used to be a lot fatter, but it evened out and I'm going down. I just don't know what I don't do
#86406 - Alright, for some reason I self harm and punch myself in the h…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/22/2013 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#86408 - jackii (07/22/2013) [-]
When playing a game, set a pillow next to you. Instead of punching yourself, punch the pillow.
#64 - Well what the **** do I do now? 07/18/2013 on llewdlol +5
#452386 - Planning a HeartGold team. Need to pick 2 of 3. Which ones sho…  [+] (3 new replies) 07/18/2013 on Pokemon 0
#452392 - anon (07/18/2013) [-]
None of those. Everybody uses them.
User avatar
#452390 - mysticpichu (07/18/2013) [-]
espeon and nidoking. everyone uses heracross
User avatar
#452388 - scytherkris (07/18/2013) [-]
>Planning a team
#153 - Whats black on top and white on the bottom? Rape 07/02/2013 on Insert racist joke here +4
#214 - Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/27/2013 on post your most brutal joke -3
#246 - furtehlulz (06/27/2013) [-]
primary school level joke/10
#213 - His other hand must have been getting cold because he put it u…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/27/2013 on post your most brutal joke -3
User avatar
#214 - mvukotich (06/27/2013) [-]
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. And by golly, the eel wasn't dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats.... they have nine lives or something. This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet."

His Mother fainted.
#246 - furtehlulz (06/27/2013) [-]
primary school level joke/10
#212 - Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, ra…  [+] (3 new replies) 06/27/2013 on post your most brutal joke -3
User avatar
#213 - mvukotich (06/27/2013) [-]
His other hand must have been getting cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever because sis told him she was really HOT. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick.... a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 9 inches long. HONEST! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. I should tell her about the ones I saw at the lake! Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go... I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel... I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out.

User avatar
#214 - mvukotich (06/27/2013) [-]
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. And by golly, the eel wasn't dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats.... they have nine lives or something. This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet."

His Mother fainted.
#246 - furtehlulz (06/27/2013) [-]
primary school level joke/10
#11062 - I guess Boston wasn't strong enough. I just want October to be… 06/25/2013 on Sports - sports news, news... 0