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murphyslawtesties

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 26
Facebook Profile: Don't have one, to many people i don't know
Youtube Channel: metalgearrexlover
Steam Profile: PissmΩnFTW™[LeWaffle]»ÐV«A
Consoles Owned: Sold that shit
Video Games Played: Command & Conquer games, Mercenaries 2, Star Trek Online, Warthunder, Jagged Alliance games, Fallout new vegas and other shit
X-box Gamertag: lol, i'm not a peasant
PSN: wat ?
Interests: Need-to-know basis
Date Signed Up:1/02/2014
Last Login:7/01/2015
Location:Lithuania
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#160
Comment Ranking:#1012
Highest Content Rank:#44
Highest Comment Rank:#203
Content Thumbs: 66580 total,  71179 ,  4599
Comment Thumbs: 11064 total,  12033 ,  969
Content Level Progress: 37.1% (371/1000)
Level 249 Content: Doinitrite → Level 250 Content: Contaminated Win
Comment Level Progress: 62% (62/100)
Level 273 Comments: Ninja Pirate → Level 274 Comments: Ninja Pirate
Subscribers:2
Content Views:2874638
Times Content Favorited:5417 times
Total Comments Made:3844
FJ Points:56736
Favorite Tags: is (16) | breeki (8) | cheeki (8) | stalker (8) | tags (8) | shit (6) | a (5) | fucking (5) | FUNNYJUNK (5) | i (5) | are (4) | fuck (4) | Holy (4) | in (4) | kek (4) | to (4) | admin (3) | Have (3) | ivan (3) | math (3)
My life is none of your concern

latest user's comments

#14 - evilhomer is a baltic. We are a scary bunch  [+] (1 new reply) 06/11/2015 on Damn Nature +1
User avatar #15 - evilhomer (06/11/2015) [-]
Don't mess with baltics bruh
#19 - He looks like that sand guy from spiderman to me  [+] (1 new reply) 06/11/2015 on Frank Castle knows how to... 0
User avatar #35 - mutzaki (06/11/2015) [-]
I don't remember any muslims from Spider-Man.
#26 - Yeah i submitted admin on /hug/. Draw this 06/11/2015 on Draw Thread 4 0
#74 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 06/11/2015 on can you fucking not! 0
#96 - roliga Comment deleted by murphyslawtesties
#10706051 - Holy **** , CNN doing a story on Reddit about those bann… 06/11/2015 on Autism Board +1
#80 - Picture 06/11/2015 on Dragon's Burn 3: SHIT WE... +6
#153 - The imperium can literraly drown anything in imperial guardsmen 06/11/2015 on The Grand Army Of the Republic +2
#86 - I focus my mana to my fingertips and charge at her with a fero… 06/10/2015 on FJ Roll-Playing: A Line in... 0
#84 - **murphyslawtesties used "*roll picture*"** **murphyslawtes…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/10/2015 on FJ Roll-Playing: A Line in... +1
User avatar #103 - spanishninja (06/11/2015) [-]
Quest of the Manwhore
you just rolled the manwhore
10/10
User avatar #86 - murphyslawtesties (06/10/2015) [-]
I focus my mana to my fingertips and charge at her with a feroucios attack.

Also all of this arouses me
#46 - Funny enough, he attacks me too, And i'm only semi popular on …  [+] (1 new reply) 06/10/2015 on To the Attention whore(s) +2
User avatar #69 - skeletorexplains (06/11/2015) [-]
How dare you be a theme on..Murphys..law..
#2 - kek  [+] (8 new replies) 06/10/2015 on Every single response is kek +2
User avatar #17 - areancoconut (06/16/2015) [-]
KEK
User avatar #3 - larsfillmore (06/10/2015) [-]
Kek
#5 - lemonpizzapie (06/10/2015) [-]
kek
User avatar #4 - alekksandar (06/10/2015) [-]
kek
#6 - Rascal (06/10/2015) [-]
kek
User avatar #7 - raeptiemx (06/10/2015) [-]
kek
User avatar #11 - therealjohncena (06/11/2015) [-]
kek
#13 - carevq (06/11/2015) [-]
kek
#10704423 - rekt 06/10/2015 on Autism Board +1
#42 - Jesus christ, its you 06/10/2015 on 1 in a million +1
#10704351 - What the **** can you do with That Moskvich ? 06/10/2015 on Autism Board 0
#34 - Oh boy add me to your record. can't see tjack ****  [+] (1 new reply) 06/10/2015 on Johnney Bravo Had No Chill +9
User avatar #35 - wrongopinions (06/10/2015) [-]
Current amount of people with bleeding eyes due to my text color: 29
#10704342 - I remember how I tried to do a lets play of Test Drive Unlimit…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/10/2015 on Autism Board 0
#10704349 - lilliliililililill (06/10/2015) [-]
I'll test drive my car into your garage
#10704351 - murphyslawtesties (06/10/2015) [-]
What the fuck can you do with That Moskvich ?
#204 - I was terrified of churches. I thought those monoliths were evil 06/10/2015 on Things People Believed as... 0
#82 - Stannis attacks the Orc  [+] (25 new replies) 06/10/2015 on FJ Roll-Playing: A Line in... 0
#83 - kytonlord (06/10/2015) [-]
>>#73
The orc doesn't seem to comprehend the complicated phrases you're using to convince him to give up his weapon, but he doesnt' see you as a threat. Halfway through your conversation, he roars angrily and lunges at Tyrson with a 2-handed swing. The edge barely clips the halfling's shoulder, but it knocks him to the ground nonetheless. The Shield of Sorrow, reacting to the pain, sprays enchanted tears into the fat orc's face, and the fat orc responds with a lot of dazed blubbering.
The raging orc was just about to swing again, but then Stannis appears out of nowhere, knocking the axe to the side and slashing the orc across the chest.
"Disgusting..."
He stands there for a minute more, as the orc collapses and dies, then he kneels down and begins cleaning his sword.
A female orc, wielding a massive hammer, leaps into the group recklessly. "Yuus gawna paiy far killan mah bruddahs!" She swings at Kickass Kelly, crushing your arm with her mallet. The Shield sprays her as well, but she doesn't seem particularly fazed by this.
Heavyset Orc - 1 wound - Vulnerable, Dazed - Fighting Spanishninja, TheMather, and Tyrson
Hammer Orc - 0 wounds -
2 Orcs defeated (need 8 to proceed)

SpanishNinja - 3 HP 7 MP
Tyrson - 2 HP 4 MP - Manaburn (1/4)
TheMather - 1 HP 6 MP
Murphyslawtesties - 4 HP 3 MP
Stannis - 2 HP 2 MP - Inactive
#102 - spanishninja (06/11/2015) [-]
**spanishninja used "*roll 1, 1-318*"**
**spanishninja rolls 248**
rolling for damage
#104 - kytonlord (06/12/2015) [-]
>>#99
The orc with the hammer falls to a brilliant punch from Spanishninja, who takes a moment to admire her athletic physique.
The dull orc is distracted for a moment by the Twitch Oh god. Not what I was expecting... www.caspergaming.com/FJKB/item.php?item=1390 , which begins snapping, snarling, and (of course) twitching maniacally. It pounces on the orc and provides an effective distraction, despite not doing any damage.
The orcs rally themselves as they see the relative threat level of the group beginning to stagnate. One orc in particular, a brawny muscle-bound brawler, approaches Spanishninja.
"Juu fite mee naow, frawg-man."
Dull Orc - 0 wounds -
4 Orcs defeated (need 8 to proceed)

SpanishNinja - 3 HP 7 MP
Tyrson - 2 HP 4 MP - Manaburn (1/4)
TheMather - 1 HP 6 MP
Murphyslawtesties - 5 HP 4 MP
Stannis - 2 HP 2 MP - Inactive
User avatar #106 - spanishninja (06/12/2015) [-]
**spanishninja used "*roll 1, 1-318*"**
**spanishninja rolls 184**
rolling for damage
User avatar #108 - kytonlord (06/12/2015) [-]
You strike him once, a solid hit that would render common men unconscious.
The orc grins, spitting blood from between his tusks.
"Juu 'olden bak. I cho jhu 'ow reel man fite."
He proceeds to attack you ferociously, one blow after the other in quick succession. The first strike catches you off guard, while the second is a wild swing- likely a feint. The third almost connects, but misses. www.funnyjunk.com/user/kytonlord/106#106
Dull Orc - 0 wounds -
Brawny Orc - 1 wound -
4 Orcs defeated (need 8 to proceed)

SpanishNinja - 2 HP 7 MP
Tyrson - 2 HP 4 MP - Manaburn (1/4)
TheMather - 1 HP 6 MP
Murphyslawtesties - 5 HP 4 MP
Stannis - 2 HP 2 MP - Inactive
#118 - spanishninja (06/12/2015) [-]
seing as the dull orc is too much of a threat, i decide to use the most powerfull of my reusable spellscrolls funnyjunk.com/Funnyjunk+rollplaying+encounter+3/funny-pictures/5552069/155#155 to destroy him once and for all.

sorry dull orc but you deserve this.
User avatar #109 - tyrson (06/12/2015) [-]
(Oh shit. Sorry guys.)

Tyrson leaps into the fray, again, firing mana-infused arrows at any enemy that moves. First up is the musclebound orc - that motherfucker looks way more dangerous than dopy over there. I pull the arrow as far back as I can, and let the bolt fly.
www.funnyjunk.com/user/tyrson/11#11 - [1 MP - Special attack: 169]
It's a good shot , but I'm not sure if the orc is quick enough to dodge it.
Hell, as long as I don't hit Spanish I think I'm good.
#110 - kytonlord (06/12/2015) [-]
Tyrson's arrow pierces the athletic orc, leaving a burning, painful wound. The tusker turns and growls angrily, before collapsing on the ground, bleeding too much to stand. A new greenskin steps up, swinging one of the largest swords your party's ever seen.
"Dis faitan ghun un luhng anaf," his speech was more impeded than the last, but his stance and the weapons he was holding made his intention quite clear. As if the sword and gigantic frame weren't enough, he was also holding a bear-trap, modified for combat use. How he would use it, however, remained to be seen.
Dull Orc - 0 wounds -
Orc Trapper - 0 wounds -
5 Orcs defeated (need 8 to proceed)

SpanishNinja - 2 HP 7 MP
Tyrson - 2 HP 4 MP - Manaburn (2/4)
TheMather - 1 HP 6 MP
Murphyslawtesties - 5 HP 4 MP
Stannis - 2 HP 2 MP - Inactive
User avatar #111 - TheMather (06/12/2015) [-]
**TheMather used "*roll items*"**
**TheMather rolls Warrior of Insanity**
User avatar #112 - TheMather (06/12/2015) [-]
I reach behind a nearby rock and drag a Warrior of Insanity out by its belt, sending it careening towards the orc.
User avatar #113 - tyrson (06/12/2015) [-]
"Yeah, uh... I'm going to let that... thing... handle the big guy. Dopey over here could use a stick full of feathers, if you ask me."
I pull back the string and let another arrow fly. No mana needed here, since dopey seems to pose no threat. The arrow will hopefully kick off another frenzy, helping my allies to kill the ugly thug.
...
www.funnyjunk.com/user/tyrson/12#12 - [Attack: 015]
...
Yep. That's a miss.

Also, you forgot to lower my MP from the last Special Attack
#114 - kytonlord (06/12/2015) [-]
>>#112 (in the future, please be more specific about WHICH target you're attacking)
The Warrior of Insanity attacks the orcish hunter with reckless abandon, and takes a bear-trap to the face for his trouble. The orc is relatively unharmed, but he's used up his most frightening weapon, and now has only his massive cleaver to work with.
The dullard deflects the arrow effortlessly, picking his nose with no sense of the combat situation around him. The arrow glanced harmlessly off of his calloused knuckle, and the beast turned to face the direction from whence it came.
His eyes met Tyrson's, and there was a moment of calm.
Then, a moment of not-so-calm.
"RrrrrraaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" the orc flew into a devoted rage, crushing Tyrson beneath powerful swings from his two waraxes.
To make matters worse, another arrow flies across the field, narrowly missing Kickass Kelly. Orcish cursing can be heard from about 20 yards away as a lithe orcish archeress fumbles for another arrow.
Dull Orc - 0 wounds - Fighting Tyrson
Orc Trapper - 0 wounds - Fighting TheMather
Orc Archer - 0 wounds - Aiming (1/2)
5 Orcs defeated (need 8 to proceed)

SpanishNinja - 2 HP 7 MP
Tyrson - 1 HP 3 MP - Manaburn (Ready)
TheMather - 1 HP 6 MP
Warrior of Insanity - ? HP ? MP - Trapped (1/2)
Murphyslawtesties - 5 HP 4 MP
Stannis - 2 HP 2 MP - Inactive
User avatar #120 - tyrson (06/12/2015) [-]
With manaburn ready to go, I pull back an arrow and take special aim at the female archer. I could aim to wound, or I could aim to disarm. With so many of us on the ropes right now, I opt for the defensive tactic and fire a bolt at her bow, hoping to render her weapon useless. Of course, the bow was between us, so if I couldn't hit it the arrow would (hopefully) just hit her.

www.funnyjunk.com/user/tyrson/13#13 0 MP / Special Attack (156)
#119 - tyrson has deleted their comment.
User avatar #117 - murphyslawtesties (06/12/2015) [-]
I Channel My mana to my legs and roundhouse the orc who shot at me

Also Stannins assists Tyrson
#116 - murphyslawtesties (06/12/2015) [-]
**murphyslawtesties used "*roll picture*"**
**murphyslawtesties rolled image**

"Oh fuck no!"
User avatar #115 - TheMather (06/12/2015) [-]
funnyjunk.com/user/TheMather/136#136
I attatch the Opal Gemstone to the Leather Cord Necklace and put it around Spanishninja's neck.
User avatar #85 - TheMather (06/10/2015) [-]
**TheMather used "*roll items*"**
**TheMather rolls Demigod Toast Land Dragon**
User avatar #87 - TheMather (06/10/2015) [-]
In a moment of inspiration I start rummaging through my pockets, reaching down almost shoulder deep before I pull out the Demigod Toast Land Dragon, tearing one of my pant legs off as the beast emerges from the seemingly insufficient space.
I look up at the mighty beast, offering two words of suggestion: "Orc jam."
#94 - kytonlord (06/11/2015) [-]
>>#86
The dragon was something of an anomaly indeed, an avatar of the will and wrath of Admin the Creator, flesh and fury in an unconventional form. The creature was the size of a heavy dog, with small wings and a soft, crust-like coat of scales. The creature opened its jaw wide, and a twisted beam of purple and green energies erupted out. The body of the heavyset orc took a direct hit, and after a moment's pause, he exploded. A glowing sphere of light remained where he had been, shifting between green and violet hues. It seemed intangible, but about the size of a softball.
Colonel Kelly, on the other hand, resorts to his previous magic with a taunt, becoming aroused at the sight of her scantily-clad form. He slashes at her, leaving a solid wound. Vital energies from the heavyset orc flow into him with healing vigor.
A dull orc nearby sees what's going on, and gathers his wits enough to approach.
"Whaat yuuu duu-inn?" he asks with a drawl as he brandishes his axes. He moves to attack Tyrson, the least-threatening member of the party.
Hammer Orc - 1 wounds -
Dull Orc - 0 wounds -
3 Orcs defeated (need 8 to proceed)

SpanishNinja - 3 HP 7 MP
Tyrson - 2 HP 4 MP - Manaburn (1/4)
TheMather - 1 HP 6 MP
Murphyslawtesties - 5 HP 4 MP
Stannis - 2 HP 2 MP - Inactive

Murphy: +2 MP from Battle Hardened, +1 HP from Vitality Drain, -1 MP spent for spell
User avatar #98 - TheMather (06/11/2015) [-]
**TheMather used "*roll items*"**
**TheMather rolls Twitch**
User avatar #99 - TheMather (06/11/2015) [-]
I turn to the dull orc and tell him "Nothing, you're dreaming. Here, watch this instead!" and throw him the Twitch.
#84 - murphyslawtesties (06/10/2015) [-]
**murphyslawtesties used "*roll picture*"**
**murphyslawtesties rolled image**
"Oh hoh hoh, girl you just messed with the wrong colonel"


User avatar #103 - spanishninja (06/11/2015) [-]
Quest of the Manwhore
you just rolled the manwhore
10/10
User avatar #86 - murphyslawtesties (06/10/2015) [-]
I focus my mana to my fingertips and charge at her with a feroucios attack.

Also all of this arouses me
#57 - why ? I focus my mana to my index and **** you… 06/09/2015 on FJ Roll-Playing: A Line in... 0
#56 - **murphyslawtesties used "*roll picture*"** **murphyslawtes…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/09/2015 on FJ Roll-Playing: A Line in... 0
User avatar #57 - murphyslawtesties (06/09/2015) [-]
why ?

I focus my mana to my index and fuck you finger, making sharper than a razor and slice the fingers of the nearest orc
#55 - "HOLD ON FOR **** SAKE!" I say pulling up my … 06/09/2015 on FJ Roll-Playing: A Line in... 0
#18 - Which movie is this ?  [+] (5 new replies) 06/09/2015 on No copyright infringement hear 0
User avatar #19 - Ulmer (06/09/2015) [-]
Alien 3. Arguably the worst Alien, but I appreciated what it tried to do.
User avatar #45 - dudewitharake (06/09/2015) [-]
id argue worst, since I agree with your resurrection comment and it kind of made aliens look like a giant waste of time considering 3's beginning
#32 - Rascal (06/09/2015) [-]
Arguably the worst? Sorry but have you seen Resurrection?
User avatar #35 - Ulmer (06/09/2015) [-]
I liked resurrection. Though it did take Alien a completely different way by making it a black comedy, I can still look past that and enjoy it for what it is. It's silly and gruesome because they wanted it that way, and as is the exact same with Starship Troopers in the same merit, I find it entertaining as hell. It's like a carnie horror ride as compared to halloween horror nights at Universal Studios. Certainly it has the same heart, just not nearly as good as the professional stuff. This one just makes you laugh stupidly, and let's be honest there are a few good heart pounding and jumpscare moments that are fun.
User avatar #34 - broswagonist (06/09/2015) [-]
"I don't know what arguably means"
#10702343 - you still do 06/09/2015 on Autism Board 0
#10702340 - Well you seem to care.  [+] (2 new replies) 06/09/2015 on Autism Board 0
#10702342 - Rascal (06/09/2015) [-]
N O

O N E

C A R E S
A
R
E
S
User avatar #10702343 - murphyslawtesties (06/09/2015) [-]
you still do
#89 - Picture 06/09/2015 on A pretty sick street... +3

items

Total unique items point value: 6725 / Total items point value: 15280
[ 36 items Total ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#27 - logickid ONLINE (06/28/2015) [-]
User avatar #26 - logickid ONLINE (06/28/2015) [-]
Nice hat
User avatar #25 - murphyslawtesties (05/27/2015) [-]
Bear down for pussy
User avatar #20 - davidavidsan (04/11/2015) [-]
Friend me on my main

>> funnyjunk.com/user/davidavidson
User avatar #21 to #20 - murphyslawtesties (04/11/2015) [-]
For some reason I cant send a friend request
User avatar #22 to #21 - davidavidsan (04/11/2015) [-]
bc i'm on ban

I'll add u when I get unbanned tomorrow
User avatar #17 - seniorawesomesauce (04/11/2015) [-]
Shut up
User avatar #16 - helpmeplz (02/08/2015) [-]
when you're autistic but everyone says you're retarded :(
User avatar #13 - profesoreoak ONLINE (12/05/2014) [-]
2000 post over 1 year nice crys in the corner with his 2400 posts of a span of 3-4 years
#12 - jaygarxp (12/04/2014) [-]
Nice 2000 posts extravaganza!
User avatar #9 to #8 - murphyslawtesties (09/10/2014) [-]
Some random ************ who left friend requests to everyone one that post

Hue
#4 - konradkurze (07/19/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
will murphy die alone
User avatar #5 to #4 - murphyslawtesties (07/19/2014) [-]
Oh well **** you too then
#6 to #5 - konradkurze (07/19/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolled image**
this is where murphy will die
User avatar #3 - soundofwinter (06/24/2014) [-]
**** you
User avatar #1 - tranquilizer (01/14/2014) [-]
Good luck on your funnyjunk career
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