Last status update:
Personal Info
Gender: male
Consoles Owned: ps2, ps3, ps4
Video Games Played: Castlevania series, Assassin's Creed series, Phoenix Wright series, Sly Cooper series, Batman Arkham series, Pokemon series, Sonic series, Infamous series, Bastion, Rogue Legacy, Sleeping Dogs, The Wolf Among Us, The Witcher 3, and others I'm forgetting.
Interests: Gaming, Drawing, and Masturbating
Date Signed Up:12/15/2010
Last Login:8/29/2015
Location:The Land of Freedom
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#1289
Comment Ranking:#691
Highest Content Rank:#804
Highest Comment Rank:#190
Content Thumbs: 7279 total,  8222 ,  943
Comment Thumbs: 15432 total,  16263 ,  831
Content Level Progress: 34% (34/100)
Level 164 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk → Level 165 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk
Comment Level Progress: 67% (335/500)
Level 310 Comments: Wizard → Level 311 Comments: Wizard
Content Views:463069
Times Content Favorited:780 times
Total Comments Made:2620
FJ Points:17851
Favorite Tags: of (17) | history (16) | Playboy (15) | to (11) | i (9) | nsfw (8) | should (7) | more (6) | often (5) | You (5) | it (4) | my (4) | upload (4) | and (3) | FJ (3) | post (3) | the (3) | comments (2) | FUNNYJUNK (2) | get (2)
This place is my home. Its people are my family.

latest user's comments

#13 - Coke beats Pepsi, but Diet Pepsi is leagues better than Diet C…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/23/2015 on True +3
User avatar #42 - wastelandgunner (07/23/2015) [-]
Kill yourself. Diet Coke is the one true drink.
User avatar #20 - plasticcup (07/23/2015) [-]
diabetes from birth?
#20 - Perfect solution: Don't fight about stupid **** with ot… 07/23/2015 on Thanks Tumblr 0
#10 - He didn't say it never happened. He said he doubted it. Don't … 07/23/2015 on Biggus +1
#13 - Man, you must have **** standards if your faith in huma… 07/23/2015 on Faith in humanity restored +5
#52 - If you haven't already, you should watch 500 Days of Summer. I… 07/23/2015 on :( +1
#3 - It's also for certain software and other media. They're less common. 07/23/2015 on Ban this shit from Steam +1
#3 - What I'm talking about for people who may not get it (Major Sp… 07/23/2015 on After That One Scene in... 0
#2 - I contemplated that, but I decided that the movie was over a y… 07/23/2015 on After That One Scene in... 0
#14 - "Strive to be great. Remember to be humble." … 07/23/2015 on Senior Quote Ideas 0
#7 - These are pretty far from the glasses she's wearing.  [+] (1 new reply) 07/23/2015 on Where's Waldo? Who cares? 0
User avatar #11 - dezzka (07/23/2015) [-]
So are the shirt and pants. And he doesn't wear those kinds of socks.
#2 - No offense, but **** your cat. 07/23/2015 on I'm sad +6
#45 - That "It's not your fault" scene really hit me. The … 07/23/2015 on Floor Boards 0
#37 - I actually saw Good Will Hunting for the first time in my life…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/23/2015 on Floor Boards 0
User avatar #42 - coolfool (07/23/2015) [-]
What a coincidence, I was surfing through popcorn time today and decided to give it watch (for the first time) because I had a couple of hours to kill before work
User avatar #45 - morphodite (07/23/2015) [-]
That "It's not your fault" scene really hit me. The break up scene was also really well acted. I'm almost disappointed in myself for not seeing the film sooner.
#18 - Picture 07/23/2015 on Meeting your friends on the... +6
#5 - I love it to death, but it's really convoluted at this point. …  [+] (1 new reply) 07/19/2015 on ghostbusters +10
User avatar #24 - makomirocket (07/19/2015) [-]
I'm pretty sure the whole darkness thing was so that if they were finally cancelled, it could be explained away. Something tells me that the darkness is going to be like when the fall happened, with the media saying it was some freak nature thing and then randomly people are turned to darkness people or something like that
#126 - Oh **** you m8. I mentioned dubstep because it was expe… 07/16/2015 on Tungsten +1
#120 - I still want to eat pizza and play video games. 07/16/2015 on 22 years is crazy! +5
#51 - >> #33 , 2 was just...ugh. I wasn't excited about any ep… 07/16/2015 on TRIGGERED +1
#55 - I hated prom. I was bad at dancing (still am), my date spent m…  [+] (3 new replies) 07/16/2015 on Tungsten 0
User avatar #112 - youareohsowrong (07/16/2015) [-]
>no dubstep as a bad thing
You didn't need that tux, im sure your fedora would've made you euphorically good looking
User avatar #126 - morphodite (07/16/2015) [-]
Oh fuck you m8. I mentioned dubstep because it was expected at a 2014 prom; not because I personally couldn't go without it. Also, you've been on this site way too long if you think dubstep is exclusively for fedora lovers.
#118 - anon (07/16/2015) [-]
Man a lot of highscoolers enjoy at least some form of electronic music, you dont needto pull the fedora card right away
#152 - >> #130 , >> #116 , However ****** up it so… 07/16/2015 on Little Shit.. +1
#48 - >> #23 , >> #20 , >> #25 , >> #35 , &g… 07/15/2015 on Great save +1
#22 - In their playthrough of Sonic 3 with the Completionist, he lit… 07/15/2015 on (untitled) 0
#76 - My mom used to knock me around. When I was around 11 or so, sh…  [+] (8 new replies) 07/15/2015 on Little Shit.. +10
User avatar #152 - morphodite (07/16/2015) [-]
>>#130, >>#116, However fucked up it sounds, it's sort of nice to know that I'm not the only one who has a crazy mother. Even though she stopped trying to hit me, her verbal and emotional abuse is all just the same. I can't remember the amount of times she's made fun of me or yelled at me for being physically weak or scared of something. When I was 9, I remember her putting me outside at night during the middle of winter for 20 min in just my pajamas because I was afraid of some horror movie I saw and apparently kept bothering her. She's the kind of person to get angry with me for staying home all day, but as soon as I try to leave the house she'll start with "Where the hell are you going?" or something like that. She's always trying to convince everyone that she's a great person. "I've made so many sacrifices for my kids." "I donate to charity whenever I can." As if it makes her any better of a mother. And the worst part is I'm not allowed to complain or talk about these sorts of things. She buys my food and pays for the house and lights and everything. She's paying for my way through college. I'm not allowed to have any problems with her because she practically owns me. But, hey. At least I'll always have Funnyjunk
#116 - swagbot (07/16/2015) [-]
Amen, bred.

Massive TMI alert.

My parents used to beat the shit out of me.... even though i could've easily beaten them to a pulp even when i was little, they'd got inside my head, so i didn't do anything, and i just took it all, for years.

13, hormones made me think a little clearer... getting another 'spanking' with a wooden dowel, again for absolutely no reason, stepmon just needed to get her rocks off.

Whatever... told myself I'd get 6 whacks (as agreed upon) and it'd be over.

1...2..3...4..5...6, okay............... done?


Mom, in her typical eyes-rolled-back-in-her-head red-faced screaming batshit cunt rage KEEPS hitting me... 7...8...9.... I start to turn away because it hurts and WTF? so she goes faster..... 10-11-12.

Finally snap enough to shit out one moment of clarity:
> So, I didn't even do anything wrong in the first place... she just stomped down here b/c she was bored.
> What kind of parent looses control enough to keep hitting their kid?
> This is just welting and bruising my chest and back... it's not even 'teaching me a lesson'.
> She's hitting me in my lumbar and side-fats just to make it hurt! What the fuck?! Like has she seriously just lost control?
> This woman really IS crazy, isn't she? Like, actually NOT in control of herself.

Turn around (she's still hitting me... using the dowel like an animal trainer trying to keep their animal at bay with a baton.... face, hand, arms, elbows).

IDC. grab the thing mid-stroke and yank it out of her grasp.

I'll never forget this - it's the first time i saw clearly into the psychoses that haunted my Mom (step-mom, abused heavily as a kid):

All the 'rage' drained from her face in an instant, and her eyes went from bat-shit-blind-dick-rage crazy, to fearful-little-red-headed-kid-cowering-in-a-corner: I immediately knew that she was only acting out the abuse on me that other did to her as a kid.

Scene paused there for about 1 1/2 second... then she ran to the other side of the room, composed herself, laughed a nervous laugh and said some nonsense, and went upstairs.

That was the last spanking / beating i ever got, out of hundreds.
#130 - takesseconds (07/16/2015) [-]
That's actually pretty cool.

Typed my own tmi, doesn't matter if anyone reads it or not I just want to get it out of my head.
My mother was much the same, but I never retaliated or made physical moves to stop her, since I was (for some reason that I can't remember) fully aware she would call the police on me, and have me sorted out that way instead, whatever form that might take for a kid/preteen/teen.

So, I just decided that it didn't hurt enough to worry about, and tried to forget about it as best I could whenever I could.
Then she mostly stopped with the beatings, and swapped tactics to digging her nails into some sensitive part of my ear's cartilage (often drawing blood if I remember correctly), cupping her hands beside her mouth and literally screaming as loud as she can into my ear, using derogatory and degrading speech, or perhaps denying me meals while making me stand in one spot for a day/few days.

Well to be honest I did have a confrontation like yours much later on, my mother was threatening me with a bunch of hangers she had grabbed off a table, and due to a lot of stuff going on I'd had enough. I was 17 at this point, so, took me long enough for pete's sake.
I grabbed the hangers and held them far away, basically stone-faced staring at her till she let go of them. Told her to stop being a bitch or something, I had some really bad anger problems that I was was hiding (with the exception of one outburst with no one in the immediate vicinity, so I think I hid it rather well) so I cannot remember that point very clearly, was basically in a fog. Anyway, the situation was precipitated by not doing as much manual labor as she wanted me to do, I wanted to have time to do my homework. She was insisting that the entire burn pile and the entire rock pile that my stepdad (call em STD for short luls) had built up for 6-7 years be disassembled and moved to the other side of the house to be transported by the garbage pickup. The darned stuff took up like...1/4th of the 1.5 acres of mowable area, and shit I'm digressing wayyy too much sorry. Anyway I was tired from that and she didn't like something about the way I'd done it, and wanted me to stop doing homework (literally I was not allowed to do anything else, so yeah of course I wanted to do my homework) to go redo something. Or undo something.

Anyway, she kicked me out after sticking up for myself like that, and here I am 4 years later, life is a mess but...somehow satisfying.
#161 - swagbot (07/16/2015) [-]
It's brilliant being away from the fluoridated, life-draining idiots that most of of refer to as 'Parents', isn't it?

I swear to effing God, man - when you start talking to people (like here on FJ), about 60%+ of the sub-30-year-olds that i talk to have been subject to this general abuse by their parents.

Something about the last generation.... something happened to fuck them up.
#170 - takesseconds (07/16/2015) [-]
I have mixed feelings about that...

As disgusted as I am with my mother, and as much as I can't stand her...I do still love her on some level. Even still, I know from talking to people that have been around her recently that she hasn't changed. At this point I doubt she ever will...if she could, though...idk, maybe I'd still be willing to forgive.
#178 - swagbot (07/17/2015) [-]
Okay, sent in PM.

That is some of the best, clearest shit I've ever written. Read it.
#177 - swagbot (07/17/2015) [-]
Nevermind, you're a guy, 21. I'll comment later.
#176 - swagbot has deleted their comment.
#40 - >no deaths You're quite the faggot, you know that?  [+] (1 new reply) 07/15/2015 on Great save +1
User avatar #48 - morphodite (07/15/2015) [-]
>>#23, >>#20, >>#25, >>#35, >>#37, lel, he thumbed all of us down for his shitty opinion.
#178 - The Wolf Among Us Season 1 and The Walking Dead Season 1 were … 07/15/2015 on Byte down hard baby 0


Total unique items point value: 2770 / Total items point value: 5663


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#66 - murrlogic (05/30/2015) [-]
Comment Picture
#62 - someguynsfw (10/19/2012) [-]
Hey buddy

If you remember, I asked for sauce on a gif of a tied up woman getting screwed and you replied? can you tell me again or send me a message, because I couldn't see your comment because the content was deleted. Thanks
User avatar #63 to #62 - morphodite (10/19/2012) [-]

No prob, buddy :)
User avatar #61 - jorgethemaster (10/13/2012) [-]
Wow man, thanks a lot! :D

I like giving things away, but im running out of old items and those are perfect! Really appreciate it man! Cheers! Have a good day (:
User avatar #60 - crazecraka (09/12/2012) [-]
Whats been goin on bro?
#59 - mango (09/12/2012) [-]
I heard you were giving away free items, so I send you a trade?
User avatar #53 - martinapplejack (08/29/2012) [-]
Trade you a cake for a magic beam spell? You don't have a cake and it's worth more than your spell
User avatar #54 to #53 - morphodite (08/30/2012) [-]
lol just take it. I stopped caring about funnyjunk items a long time ago... Send me the request when you get a chance :)
User avatar #56 to #54 - martinapplejack (08/30/2012) [-]
Can I have some of your other stuff as well?
User avatar #57 to #56 - morphodite (08/30/2012) [-]
Everything I have duplicates of. Don't expect me to accept all the requests now, though...
User avatar #58 to #57 - martinapplejack (08/30/2012) [-]
Thanks. You're awesome
User avatar #51 - crazecraka (08/29/2012) [-]
what happened to that guy winning all your items
#52 to #51 - Wadrob has deleted their comment [-]
#50 - jasonthelurker has deleted their comment [-]
#47 - cooltrainergill (08/28/2012) [-]
Whos awesome? You're awesome :D
User avatar #48 to #47 - morphodite (08/28/2012) [-]
Thanks :) Sorry, but you can't have all my gems n stuff. I made promises to other people...
#49 to #48 - cooltrainergill (08/28/2012) [-]
lol, no need to apologize, I got greedy.
#41 - cooltrainergill (08/28/2012) [-]
4 babies for a couple angelic and evil ores?
User avatar #43 to #41 - morphodite (08/28/2012) [-]
lol have them for free :) Send requests
#46 to #43 - cooltrainergill (08/28/2012) [-]
ARE YOU GIVING AWAY EVERYTHING? Because if you are, then you're ******* awesome :D
User avatar #39 - unknownxdeath (08/28/2012) [-]
Can you please give me your book of damination and i'll give you a pretty sweet idea!
User avatar #40 to #39 - morphodite (08/28/2012) [-]
sorry, it's not for trade :(
User avatar #42 to #40 - unknownxdeath (08/28/2012) [-]
Like for an idea for your sweet contests i just want it bad please bro!
User avatar #44 to #42 - morphodite (08/28/2012) [-]
I already promised it to someone else :(
User avatar #45 to #44 - unknownxdeath (08/28/2012) [-]
Please you have no idea how badd i want it! I't poppped out like 15 times and i never got it not once! please!
User avatar #38 - jorgethemaster (08/28/2012) [-]
No problem, i want to thank you on behalf of eerybody that you have given the items to. Although i may not gave got anything, it doesnt matter because i knwo others need it more than me. Thank you for taking the time to send and accept all the trade requests for all the people who got items.

Thanks again morphodite (:

Have a great day/night.

- Jorgethemaster
User avatar #32 - jorgethemaster (08/28/2012) [-]
book of damnation.

I wont ask for much like others, just one.

its like christmas.
User avatar #33 to #32 - jorgethemaster (08/28/2012) [-]
forgot to say please (:
User avatar #34 to #33 - morphodite (08/28/2012) [-]
tell me on the original comment. I won't be checking my profile
User avatar #29 - welcomebacktoclass (08/28/2012) [-]
Could i have your james brown or any books?
User avatar #31 to #29 - morphodite (08/28/2012) [-]
reply to my original comment. That's what I'll be checking. Trades will not start until 12
User avatar #28 - paras (08/28/2012) [-]
book of damnation
User avatar #27 - CapnInterwebz (08/28/2012) [-]
i like your book of human sacrafice
User avatar #30 to #27 - CapnInterwebz (08/28/2012) [-]
and that strange cube, and your other books
User avatar #26 - paras (08/28/2012) [-]
fire cannon
User avatar #24 - paras (08/28/2012) [-]
book of human sacrifice
User avatar #19 - zhayce (08/27/2012) [-]
Interested in 2 babies for a Thumbs Up Guitar?
User avatar #21 to #19 - morphodite (08/27/2012) [-]
Wait do you want the guitar or the babies?
User avatar #23 to #21 - zhayce (08/27/2012) [-]
the guitar
User avatar #20 to #19 - morphodite (08/27/2012) [-]
Yeah, I'll send
User avatar #22 to #20 - zhayce (08/27/2012) [-]
What item do you want me to trade the second for?
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