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megaflak    

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megaflak Avatar Level 212 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Gender: male
Age: 19
Steam Profile: Sky Pirate Walrus
Video Games Played: A lot
Date Signed Up:1/02/2012
Last Login:7/12/2014
Location:Frontpage
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#227
Comment Ranking:#7829
Highest Content Rank:#230
Highest Comment Rank:#6035
Content Thumbs: 16433 total,  18137 ,  1704
Comment Thumbs: 1288 total,  1560 ,  272
Content Level Progress: 81.69% (817/1000)
Level 212 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 29% (29/100)
Level 212 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 213 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Content Views:737627
Times Content Favorited:975 times
Total Comments Made:921
FJ Points:3959
Favorite Tags: Cars (4) | crashes (4) | emerald (3) | Pokemon (3) | Ruby (2)
What are you doin' in my swamp!

latest user's comments

#979450 - Oh and games... Fallout Franchise Game Of Thrones…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/23/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #979568 - thundagawd (06/24/2014) [-]
Fallout 3, New Vegas, and Just Cause 2 should run on you machine. Game Of Thrones should as well (According to the required specs anyways). Regarding The Witcher, you'll easily be able to run The Witcher 1, but not The Witcher 2, as it's a pretty demanding game (They list a GTX 640 as the recommended card just to run the game smoothly on medium). As for DayZ, I want to say you SHOULD be able to run the game, but probably not in it's current state, as the optimization is disgusting at the moment (I have an i7 3770K OC'ed to 4.5 Ghz and 2 GTX 770's in SLI OC'ed by 10% and I often drop to like 20 FPS even when playing on low, to give you an idea of just how badly optimized it is). And regarding Space Engineers, your machine hits the minimum, but they list a 460 as the recommended GPU, so you might have a few performance issues here and there (Not to mention it's also Early Access, so it might have optimization issues as well).
User avatar #979454 - burningdash (06/23/2014) [-]
its probs should hold for atleast fallout JC2 and the witcher (1?)

not sure what specs the 3 other games need, because i havent checked em up
#979449 - Amd Sempron 140 processor NVIDIA GeForce GT 430 No …  [+] (3 new replies) 06/23/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #979450 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
Oh and games...

Fallout Franchise
Game Of Thrones (Check Steam)
Just Cause 2
The Witcher
DayZ
Space Engineers

User avatar #979568 - thundagawd (06/24/2014) [-]
Fallout 3, New Vegas, and Just Cause 2 should run on you machine. Game Of Thrones should as well (According to the required specs anyways). Regarding The Witcher, you'll easily be able to run The Witcher 1, but not The Witcher 2, as it's a pretty demanding game (They list a GTX 640 as the recommended card just to run the game smoothly on medium). As for DayZ, I want to say you SHOULD be able to run the game, but probably not in it's current state, as the optimization is disgusting at the moment (I have an i7 3770K OC'ed to 4.5 Ghz and 2 GTX 770's in SLI OC'ed by 10% and I often drop to like 20 FPS even when playing on low, to give you an idea of just how badly optimized it is). And regarding Space Engineers, your machine hits the minimum, but they list a 460 as the recommended GPU, so you might have a few performance issues here and there (Not to mention it's also Early Access, so it might have optimization issues as well).
User avatar #979454 - burningdash (06/23/2014) [-]
its probs should hold for atleast fallout JC2 and the witcher (1?)

not sure what specs the 3 other games need, because i havent checked em up
#979446 - I've tried it before... I can run almost every game it says I can't  [+] (8 new replies) 06/23/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #979447 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
But does it pass you on minimum specs or recommended specs?
User avatar #979452 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
I check both, it fails on both but I can usually run it pretty smoothly
User avatar #979453 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
Well the specs you posted below are pretty low end.
You have a low end CPU from 2009 and same for the GPU.
User avatar #979455 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
Any good computer recommendations?
I've been thinking of starting fresh anyway and I was wondering if you have a good selection of parts I should get.
(Thanks by the way)
User avatar #979462 - Mortuus (06/23/2014) [-]
Head on over to the tech board if you want a partlist. You'll get a few.
User avatar #979461 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
Do you want a custom build or do you want to build it yourself?
I don't really recommend pre-built walmart computer.
User avatar #979464 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
I can build it myself
User avatar #979466 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
Then make a post to www.funnyjunk.com/technology/ and request for a build. Make sure you say your budget and other details what you think might be important.
#979441 - So, I need a bit of help with game requirements. I can't run h…  [+] (19 new replies) 06/23/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #979494 - dragondust (06/24/2014) [-]
You could read reviews to see if your hardware is well ported to a specific game.
Just never use 'can you run it'. It never works right
User avatar #979481 - blazekingxxx (06/24/2014) [-]
Not being an ass but have you updated latest drivers?


NetFramwork
Direct X
Microsoft Visual C++
nvidia/AMD
User avatar #979482 - megaflak (06/24/2014) [-]
Not sure about the first one, but yes.
User avatar #979483 - blazekingxxx (06/24/2014) [-]
Netframework is pretty damn important my mate did not have it installed but when he did his FPS went up by like 200%
User avatar #979445 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
You can use this, www.systemrequirementslab.com/cyri . It's not 100% accurate but gives you a small idea about how well your computer can handle it.
Also,
Download Speccy.
post screenshot of it here.
User avatar #979446 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
I've tried it before... I can run almost every game it says I can't
User avatar #979447 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
But does it pass you on minimum specs or recommended specs?
User avatar #979452 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
I check both, it fails on both but I can usually run it pretty smoothly
User avatar #979453 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
Well the specs you posted below are pretty low end.
You have a low end CPU from 2009 and same for the GPU.
User avatar #979455 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
Any good computer recommendations?
I've been thinking of starting fresh anyway and I was wondering if you have a good selection of parts I should get.
(Thanks by the way)
User avatar #979462 - Mortuus (06/23/2014) [-]
Head on over to the tech board if you want a partlist. You'll get a few.
User avatar #979461 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
Do you want a custom build or do you want to build it yourself?
I don't really recommend pre-built walmart computer.
User avatar #979464 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
I can build it myself
User avatar #979466 - sannukas (06/23/2014) [-]
Then make a post to www.funnyjunk.com/technology/ and request for a build. Make sure you say your budget and other details what you think might be important.
User avatar #979444 - burningdash (06/23/2014) [-]
tell us your computer speccs... and what games
User avatar #979449 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
Amd Sempron 140 processor
NVIDIA GeForce GT 430
No fucking clue about my mainboard
User avatar #979450 - megaflak (06/23/2014) [-]
Oh and games...

Fallout Franchise
Game Of Thrones (Check Steam)
Just Cause 2
The Witcher
DayZ
Space Engineers

User avatar #979568 - thundagawd (06/24/2014) [-]
Fallout 3, New Vegas, and Just Cause 2 should run on you machine. Game Of Thrones should as well (According to the required specs anyways). Regarding The Witcher, you'll easily be able to run The Witcher 1, but not The Witcher 2, as it's a pretty demanding game (They list a GTX 640 as the recommended card just to run the game smoothly on medium). As for DayZ, I want to say you SHOULD be able to run the game, but probably not in it's current state, as the optimization is disgusting at the moment (I have an i7 3770K OC'ed to 4.5 Ghz and 2 GTX 770's in SLI OC'ed by 10% and I often drop to like 20 FPS even when playing on low, to give you an idea of just how badly optimized it is). And regarding Space Engineers, your machine hits the minimum, but they list a 460 as the recommended GPU, so you might have a few performance issues here and there (Not to mention it's also Early Access, so it might have optimization issues as well).
User avatar #979454 - burningdash (06/23/2014) [-]
its probs should hold for atleast fallout JC2 and the witcher (1?)

not sure what specs the 3 other games need, because i havent checked em up
#974156 - Picture  [+] (2 new replies) 06/20/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
#974159 - anonymous (06/20/2014) [-]
It's funny because Gabe didn't support sales at first.
Must feel weird being their poster boy.
User avatar #974201 - desacabose (06/20/2014) [-]
"I am hitler and I hate jews"
"Hitler, as you all know, loved the jews and is now a longstanding symbol of jewish heroism"
#95 - The guitar one reminds me when a guy started playing his guita… 06/19/2014 on Shitty Life Hacks: The... +1
#971469 - Comment deleted 06/18/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
#61 - Picture 06/18/2014 on Something something joke... +3
#970340 - So, one of the main reasons (it's a dumb reason) I hate civ v …  [+] (1 new reply) 06/17/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #970422 - MrDeadiron (06/17/2014) [-]
Or that the numbers don't make sense or that the AI gets massive advantages unless you're on normal.
#51 - made me laugh more than the content have a gif 06/16/2014 on Brienne of House Tyson +5
#43 - Links/proof or it didn't happen 06/15/2014 on Stuff Nobody Needs OC +2
#43 - I thought that was a tree at first on the left, not a mushroom cloud 06/09/2014 on Paint Vs. Photoshop 0
#16 - Have this 06/09/2014 on Making My Way Downtown. +3
#16 - They're bringing public attention to it so it's better than nothing  [+] (1 new reply) 06/09/2014 on How can black children be... +16
User avatar #66 - kinginyellow (06/09/2014) [-]
Maybe the first few pictures, but soon it's people all over doing something that's already known and becomes redundant. The big problem I have is when these people act so high and mighty. One girl on my Facebook literally berated another and acted like a fucking hero for holding a sign
#98 - Did anyone else see those first two posts as part of **… 06/09/2014 on No anons today! 0
#97 - This has been posted twice on FJ. It's a good comp, b… 06/09/2014 on No anons today! +1
#68 - Total noob question, what's your strategy to get science so fast?  [+] (4 new replies) 06/09/2014 on Civ 5 +1
#76 - effthree (06/09/2014) [-]
Well, a simplified breakdown. Early game I focus on talents and wonders that help with building(mainly for wonders), Pyramids are a must, and send out as many units as I can spare for ruins
Midgame I rush the wonders that contribute most to Happiness and science while giving out excess luxury for research agreements(limited to a few other civs, helps keep others behind), I try to run with between six and ten cities, too few you lose out on luxury/reseource, too many you spread your cash and happy thin
Lategame I try to keep as many people worldwide happy as I can while speccing into sciencey shit

Also Jungles and Trade posts, late game I've had trade posts yielding 5+science each.

Hope that helps, I'm not a rockstar or anything, many deity games I get shut out immediately with this strategy because I run light on home defense, but other deity games like the one above I manage to get ages ahead
User avatar #81 - effthree (06/09/2014) [-]
Whoa just realized I said Deity both times in that last sentence, my Hiowatha shutout was on King, I have beaten Deity but it's never been a shutout, more like scraping my way to the top of the pile sweating, bleeding and crying
#77 - effthree (06/09/2014) [-]
It also helps if this hooker isn't rolled on your game, I know the cliche is Gandhi or Montezuma, but holy hell Elizabeth seems to have stick up her bum with my name carved into it
#94 - ohemgeezus (06/09/2014) [-]
For me it's mostly Caesar and the Daimyo that are assholes. Although every time I play against the Daimyo he's pants-on-head retarded, but tries to get everyone against me.
#63 - I feel your pain Have a gif please dont ban… 06/09/2014 on Civ 5 +1
#60 - >be me in a 8 player, 2 teammates per team game online … 06/09/2014 on Civ 5 0
#951753 - 10/10 would buy sticker again  [+] (1 new reply) 06/08/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #951755 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
Well i got it for like 2eu so it was ok lol.
but i updated the page with my new skins
#951751 - Sell that **** o.o  [+] (3 new replies) 06/08/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #951752 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
It's on my p90 , cant take it off lol.
Looks cool anyway so idc.
steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=254062874
User avatar #951753 - megaflak (06/08/2014) [-]
10/10 would buy sticker again
User avatar #951755 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
Well i got it for like 2eu so it was ok lol.
but i updated the page with my new skins
#951746 - What was the cost?  [+] (6 new replies) 06/08/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #951750 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
holy shit i just checked, the sticker is 18€ now lol
User avatar #951751 - megaflak (06/08/2014) [-]
Sell that shit o.o
User avatar #951752 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
It's on my p90 , cant take it off lol.
Looks cool anyway so idc.
steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=254062874
User avatar #951753 - megaflak (06/08/2014) [-]
10/10 would buy sticker again
User avatar #951755 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
Well i got it for like 2eu so it was ok lol.
but i updated the page with my new skins
User avatar #951748 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
Around 5 eu, actually my p90 Trigon was also around that because it was new.
And the IBP holo sticker on it was 2€ when i got it but was like 10€ lately
#951744 - That's actually a really good point, and I would have to agree… 06/08/2014 on Video Games Board - console... +1
#951738 - Damn dude... and I thought 200 hours was impressive  [+] (9 new replies) 06/08/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #951745 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
just updated the page with my newer ones.
The USP is the most expensive skin i have with my awp around the same
User avatar #951746 - megaflak (06/08/2014) [-]
What was the cost?
User avatar #951750 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
holy shit i just checked, the sticker is 18€ now lol
User avatar #951751 - megaflak (06/08/2014) [-]
Sell that shit o.o
User avatar #951752 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
It's on my p90 , cant take it off lol.
Looks cool anyway so idc.
steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=254062874
User avatar #951753 - megaflak (06/08/2014) [-]
10/10 would buy sticker again
User avatar #951755 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
Well i got it for like 2eu so it was ok lol.
but i updated the page with my new skins
User avatar #951748 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
Around 5 eu, actually my p90 Trigon was also around that because it was new.
And the IBP holo sticker on it was 2€ when i got it but was like 10€ lately
User avatar #951742 - Timmietim (06/08/2014) [-]
I only have 236 hours, and actually the pic isn't updated.
If you go to my inventory theres newer ones
#951733 - The games quality, by itself, isn't the issue however. It's th…  [+] (3 new replies) 06/08/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
#951741 - epicscorpion (06/08/2014) [-]
The games quality is affected, however, when they do this bullshit. Things like releasing the same shit every year, not getting a complete game without paying extra, and DRM-riddled bullshit, not to mention horrible middle-men launcher clones like Origin that you just have to sit through. The marketing ploys aren't the only thing that's bothering us.
#951744 - megaflak (06/08/2014) [-]
That's actually a really good point, and I would have to agree with you on that one
User avatar #951740 - MrDeadiron (06/08/2014) [-]
No chopping off parts of games and selling them to make a higher profit is what's wrong with them.
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User avatar #91 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
Space Hitler: Part 2
Space Hitler Strikes Back
User avatar #92 to #91 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 8** Eat a pretzel
User avatar #93 to #92 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
Not only did you eat a pretzel, you win a lottery when you bought the pretzel! There is either a prize of

-Battle Cruiser
or
-Tickets to Saturday Night Live
User avatar #94 to #93 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 2** Choose the SNL tickets.
User avatar #95 to #94 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You take them and before you know it the air picks them up and carries them in the wind.

You decide it's time to rise up in the ranks. You can proclaim yourself Fuhrer of Germany, America, or both.
User avatar #96 to #95 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 3** Buy 152 pretzels
User avatar #97 to #96 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You have no money.
User avatar #98 to #97 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1**Sell Germany and get 933,000,000,000 dollars.
User avatar #99 to #98 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
They revolt and exile you to america

German -100/100
America 0/100
User avatar #100 to #99 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 2** Go back to Quazar and disguise as Space Putin
User avatar #101 to #100 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
They discover you and exile you to America. Again.

America: -50
Quazar -100
User avatar #102 to #101 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 7** Go to Quazar and sleep.
User avatar #103 to #102 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You manage to fly back to Quazar and rest

Strength: 5/10
Intelligence: 7/10
Agility: 5/10
Charisma: 6/10
User avatar #104 to #103 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1** Go to America and bring the pretzels
#105 to #104 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
The americans, fed up with your shenanigans, decide to kill you when your plane docked.

You have died.

In this game you

-Bought pretzels
-Did not rise to power
-Crashed a cruiser
-Fell asleep (a lot)
-Titled yourself Space Hitler
-bought more pretzels
User avatar #70 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
Space Hitler: Part 2
Revenge of The Sleeping *******

You go back to sleep

YOUR STATS ARE:

Strength: 5/10
Intelligence: 7/10
Agility: 5/10
Charisma: 3/10
User avatar #71 to #70 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 6** Go back to sleep
User avatar #72 to #71 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
Space Hitler decides to go look for a crew, now that he is very well rested. He will either go to

Earth
Elsewhere
User avatar #73 to #72 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1**
Go to mars
User avatar #74 to #73 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
Your ship crashes and lands on earth. You seem to be on the german border. You have minor scrapes and bruises due to your advanced cargo ship storage area.
User avatar #75 to #74 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 6** Go to sleep on the side of the road.
User avatar #76 to #75 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You fall asleep on the side of the road, and after 8 hours you hear a ship passing by. They call to you and ask you to hop aboard. However, do to your above average INT you spot that they bear the colors of a pirate. What do you do?

YOUR STATS ARE:

Strength: 5/10
Intelligence: 7/10
Agility: 5/10
Charisma: 3/10
User avatar #77 to #76 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 8** Place C4 all over the ship.
User avatar #78 to #77 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You dismiss them and they start to float away. However, you sneak near their ship and strap C4 on the bottom of the ship and move a safe distance away.
User avatar #79 to #78 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 4** It blows up and I salvage parts from it to make a plane
User avatar #80 to #79 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You manage to blow it up, but you weren't able to salvage parts from it. You did, however earn the respect of the German people, as the whole thing was recorded on TV.
User avatar #81 to #80 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 9** I go to the german airforce base.
User avatar #82 to #81 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You enter the base, greeted with applause. They government gives you an honorary Battle Cruiser, with a full crew of 50 for destroying the notorious Norse Pirate, and offer you a position in their government. (From here you can obtain power on Earth)
User avatar #83 to #82 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 9** I take a plane and go to the U.S.
User avatar #84 to #83 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You take a deluxe flight onboard when the plane is targeted by terrorists! Thankfully, the crew of the ship heroiclly fought them off, but you got all the credit. You are now in 'Merica

(American Respect, 50/100
German Respect, 100/100)
User avatar #85 to #84 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** Fly to New York.
User avatar #86 to #85 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You flew to New York with no problems
User avatar #87 to #86 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** Fly down and stop for some pretzels.
User avatar #88 to #87 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You have obtained some pretzels

(1x) Pretzel
User avatar #89 to #88 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 9** Fly into the American Trade Center.
User avatar #90 to #89 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You flew into the trade towers 2.0 and escaped unnoticed. You also earned the respect of the american people, as video taped it looked like you had stopped it from crashing into the second tower

(US - 100)
(Germany - 100)
User avatar #49 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You are a European King who is secretly gay, and you are marrying the queen of France.
You want to find a ring for her, so you must either go into the town, or go look elsewhere.
User avatar #50 to #49 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 9** Kill myself
User avatar #51 to #50 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You killed yourself

You have died.

In this game you

-an hero'd
User avatar #52 to #51 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You are human in the distant future of 25XX
You are searching for the Yoohoo Milk of the true god shrek

It is either in the treacherous swamps, or the hidden caves of Earth
User avatar #53 to #52 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 0** Have hot heavy sweaty secks with Shrek.
User avatar #54 to #53 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You died

In this game you

-What

Retry?
User avatar #55 to #54 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You are a Roman Soldier stationed in a town near barbarian tribes. They raid the town and set it on fire and you must save it (or run like a bitch)

Will you go to the well, or the hills
User avatar #56 to #55 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** Kill myself.
User avatar #57 to #56 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You died

in this game you

-an hero'd
User avatar #58 to #57 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You are a human in the distant future on the planet Quazar, and your quest is to kill everyone. The first place to massacre is either Earth, or a rebel space ship.
User avatar #59 to #58 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 8**
Kill all the filthy jews.
User avatar #60 to #59 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You get to work with a your Hitler mustache and you managed to scavenge a small cargo ship that you can fit with guns and gain crew. What will you do now?
User avatar #61 to #60 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** Go home and sleep.
User avatar #62 to #61 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You go to your deck and fall asleep on your bed

YOUR STATS ARE:

Strength: 5/10
Intelligence: 7/10
Agility: 5/10
Charisma: 3/10
User avatar #63 to #62 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1** Go back to sleep.
User avatar #64 to #63 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You try as hard as you can, but you had just woken up. You remember that your ship needs maintenance, so you decide to go get some crew members. Where you should search for fellow Nazi's?

Earth
Elsewhere
User avatar #65 to #64 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 2**
Eat soup mixed with sleeping tea.
User avatar #66 to #65 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You attempt to swallow it but you spill it all over your chest like a ******* retard Space HItler that doesn't go looking for a crew
User avatar #67 to #66 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** I don't gib **** .
I am Space Hitler.
I am going to sleep.
User avatar #68 to #67 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You fall asleep

YOUR STATS ARE:

Strength: 5/10
Intelligence: 7/10
Agility: 5/10
Charisma: 3/10
User avatar #69 to #68 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** Go back to sleep
User avatar #29 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 7** I summon in a decoy with fresh meat straight from a pig.
User avatar #30 to #29 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
The dead start to eat the decoy, completely ignoring you, but before you know it, the catacomb doors break open and 4 bandits that were looting the place come out. They see you, dressed in velvet robes, wearing the finest jewelry, and immediately charge at you.
#31 to #30 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 4**
I make myself invisible and go behind a tree
User avatar #32 to #31 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
It works partially, and you cloak yourself for 2 turns. The bandits noticed you suddenly disappearing, and are now getting dangerously close to you.
User avatar #33 to #32 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1** I bite them on the neck and make them into my minions.
User avatar #34 to #33 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You run up to them to bite them, but they see you and stab you in the head. You have been permanently wounded, and all your future rolls will be subtracted by 1. The last thing you see before blacking out, is them running away with your cloak and jewels, as the dead start to approach you.
#36 to #34 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 6** I get the knife and stab all of them.
The blue is the mist.
#37 to #36 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You awake a second later to the dead men and the robbers still running, towards and away! You may be able to get them if you clear the zombies. You grab one of the bandits knives that was dropped and cast a duplicating spell to have enough knives to throw. You are still severely wounded and must try to get to the robbers if you want to get back the map!
User avatar #38 to #37 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 2** I let them off so I could win all the marbles.
#39 to #38 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You let them get away with the map, but you are still wounded and bleeding out. You see the open catacomb doors, but there probably isn't anything in there. Will you search the catacombs, go north, go south, go west, or go east? (as you lost the map to the other location since the bandits stole it.
User avatar #40 to #39 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** I go home and go into my room and play an RP game on Funnyjunk.
User avatar #41 to #40 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You attempt to go home, but you remember you're a black wizard and you don't know what a "funnyfunk" or a "arpee" is. (2 turns till bleedout/death)
User avatar #42 to #41 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 8** I go home and sleep.
User avatar #43 to #42 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
Since you sold your home to go on an adventure, you make a makeshift cabin with a spell out the tree that you felled earlier. Your wound also closes a little bit.(You have a new homebase that you can reach by rolling 4 or above) (5 turns till bleedout)
User avatar #45 to #43 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
Also, Day 1 is now over and your stats are

Health 2/10
Strength 5/10
Magic 7/10
Agility 4/10

Score right now is 100 (100 score every day)
User avatar #44 to #43 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 4** I go to the end of the tree and use some leaves and some stretchy twigs.
User avatar #46 to #44 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You manage to make a messed up bandage, but when you applied it it breaks apart... you should try using something else to heal your wound (4 turns till bleedout)
User avatar #47 to #46 - scoutyderpy (07/11/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1**
I make a sharp stick and cut off my arm. I then bandage it and go outside of the tree.
#48 to #47 - megaflak (07/11/2014) [-]
You fail completely and accidently stick it in your eye. You slowly die, writhing in pain while screaming for help.

You have died

In this play through:

-You tried to eat a dog
-You accidentally destroyed a tree and woke up an ancient evil
-You made an onion bracelet
-You were robbed by bandits
-You made a house and was killed by a stick
User avatar #7 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
Ok scouty, lets start


You are a black wizard in the medival era. You are looking for a magical Wand that can grant anything. You know it is either in a graveyard, or a mansion, which do you go to?
User avatar #8 to #7 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
I go to the graveyard of Zlakathla.
User avatar #9 to #8 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You walk up to the graveyard. A shroud of mist envelops the surrounding area. You see a gate, and a small dog in front of it. Do you want to go inside the gate or find another way?
User avatar #10 to #9 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 3** I will eat the dog first and then find another way!
User avatar #11 to #10 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You kick the dog in an attempt to kill it, but it's not as strong as you hoped. It bites your leg and runs off. You start to look for another entrance, and stumble upon a broken up section in the spiked gate. What do you do?
User avatar #12 to #11 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1** I rip the fence away with my magic, and try to make it safer.
User avatar #13 to #12 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
Your magic ***** up and it bounces off the fence and into a tree, making it crash into the ground. If there is anything in there, they are definitely awake by now because of that noise.
User avatar #14 to #13 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** I climb the fence and make a shield around me.
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, kiddo.
User avatar #15 to #14 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You climb the fence without any problems and cast a shield around yourself. You look around to see a few empty graves and an entrance to a catacomb. Suddenly, you feel something jump onto your back, but your shield deflects it! It's a rotting human, that seems to be heavily armored and has a double-handed sword. What do you do?
User avatar #16 to #15 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 3** I rip its head off with my bare hands and steal its swords
User avatar #17 to #16 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
It blocks your hands, and attempts to stab you. Your shield has broke and the force of the sword hitting your spell sends you flying backwards. You look up to see another rotting human looking down on you, what do you do?
#18 to #17 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 2**
I teleport out of there and hide behind a thick tree.
User avatar #19 to #18 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
It stabs you in the leg and you squirm in pain, it has you in it's grasp and you can't get out right now without a healing spell, but it may also be more effective to get rid of both of them right now.
User avatar #21 to #19 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 3** I cast a spell to teleport Ni ggaless cholas Cage in so I can teleport out of there and hide behind a tree to heal.
Nicholas Cage then screams "BEES! NOT THE BEES! Even though they aren't bees.
User avatar #22 to #21 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You manage to get a small teleport, but it only manages to move you out of the rotting humans grasp, meanwhile the first one is still approaching you
User avatar #23 to #22 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 7** I try to teleport in Ni ggaless Cage again.
I heal and make myself invisible.
User avatar #24 to #23 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You healed and managed to cloak yourself, not only that, but your previous spell kicks in and you manage to get behind the tree. Both of the rotting humans are clueless to your whereabouts, and the cloak will last 3 more turns.
User avatar #25 to #24 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 030,204,954** I cast in Reggie Fils-Aime and he kills everyone
The End.
User avatar #26 to #25 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You spell fails miserably and you manage to summon nearly every dead in the graveyard. Your cloak breaks and the gate you jumped in has seemed to patched itself up. You also have an eerie feeling (Something bad will happen in 2 turns!)
User avatar #27 to #26 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 4**
I summon in an onion necklace around me neck.
I made this.
***********
User avatar #28 to #27 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You manage to summon a bracelet sized onion ring. The dead have once again spotted you and are moving closer.
User avatar #6 - scoutyderpy (07/10/2014) [-]
Fkn nggrs.
#5 - megaflak (02/23/2014) [-]
Hi ragingbrony

Have a walrus
User avatar #1 - npfortytwo (08/18/2012) [-]
NIPPLE CLAMPS
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