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User avatar #7 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
Ok scouty, lets start


You are a black wizard in the medival era. You are looking for a magical Wand that can grant anything. You know it is either in a graveyard, or a mansion, which do you go to?
User avatar #8 to #7 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
I go to the graveyard of Zlakathla.
User avatar #9 to #8 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You walk up to the graveyard. A shroud of mist envelops the surrounding area. You see a gate, and a small dog in front of it. Do you want to go inside the gate or find another way?
User avatar #10 to #9 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 3** I will eat the dog first and then find another way!
User avatar #11 to #10 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You kick the dog in an attempt to kill it, but it's not as strong as you hoped. It bites your leg and runs off. You start to look for another entrance, and stumble upon a broken up section in the spiked gate. What do you do?
User avatar #12 to #11 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 1** I rip the fence away with my magic, and try to make it safer.
User avatar #13 to #12 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
Your magic fucks up and it bounces off the fence and into a tree, making it crash into the ground. If there is anything in there, they are definitely awake by now because of that noise.
User avatar #14 to #13 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 5** I climb the fence and make a shield around me.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
User avatar #15 to #14 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You climb the fence without any problems and cast a shield around yourself. You look around to see a few empty graves and an entrance to a catacomb. Suddenly, you feel something jump onto your back, but your shield deflects it! It's a rotting human, that seems to be heavily armored and has a double-handed sword. What do you do?
User avatar #16 to #15 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 3** I rip its head off with my bare hands and steal its swords
User avatar #17 to #16 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
It blocks your hands, and attempts to stab you. Your shield has broke and the force of the sword hitting your spell sends you flying backwards. You look up to see another rotting human looking down on you, what do you do?
#18 to #17 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 2**
I teleport out of there and hide behind a thick tree.
User avatar #19 to #18 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
It stabs you in the leg and you squirm in pain, it has you in it's grasp and you can't get out right now without a healing spell, but it may also be more effective to get rid of both of them right now.
User avatar #21 to #19 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 3** I cast a spell to teleport Ni ggaless cholas Cage in so I can teleport out of there and hide behind a tree to heal.
Nicholas Cage then screams "BEES! NOT THE BEES! Even though they aren't bees.
User avatar #22 to #21 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You manage to get a small teleport, but it only manages to move you out of the rotting humans grasp, meanwhile the first one is still approaching you
User avatar #23 to #22 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 7** I try to teleport in Ni ggaless Cage again.
I heal and make myself invisible.
User avatar #24 to #23 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You healed and managed to cloak yourself, not only that, but your previous spell kicks in and you manage to get behind the tree. Both of the rotting humans are clueless to your whereabouts, and the cloak will last 3 more turns.
User avatar #25 to #24 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 030,204,954** I cast in Reggie Fils-Aime and he kills everyone
The End.
User avatar #26 to #25 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You spell fails miserably and you manage to summon nearly every dead in the graveyard. Your cloak breaks and the gate you jumped in has seemed to patched itself up. You also have an eerie feeling (Something bad will happen in 2 turns!)
User avatar #27 to #26 - scoutyderpy ONLINE (07/10/2014) [-]
**scoutyderpy rolls 4**
I summon in an onion necklace around me neck.
I made this.
alsofuckyou
User avatar #28 to #27 - megaflak (07/10/2014) [-]
You manage to summon a bracelet sized onion ring. The dead have once again spotted you and are moving closer.
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