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lyestcer    

Rank #4443 on Content
lyestcer Avatar Level 217 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Date Signed Up:1/13/2012
Last Login:9/14/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#4443
Comment Ranking:#18857
Highest Content Rank:#4318
Highest Comment Rank:#1246
Content Thumbs: 335 total,  425 ,  90
Comment Thumbs: 1761 total,  1887 ,  126
Content Level Progress: 30% (3/10)
Level 28 Content: Peasant → Level 29 Content: Peasant
Comment Level Progress: 33% (33/100)
Level 217 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 218 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Content Views:36761
Times Content Favorited:4 times
Total Comments Made:274
FJ Points:2033

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funny pictures

  • Views: 20753
    Thumbs Up 288 Thumbs Down 55 Total: +233
    Comments: 45
    Favorites: 4
    Uploaded: 08/22/14
    Was reminded of this Was reminded of this
  • Views: 1826
    Thumbs Up 10 Thumbs Down 2 Total: +8
    Comments: 3
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 11/07/13
    Made me giggle Made me giggle
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latest user's comments

#3 - Picture 09/14/2014 on Constipation +2
#101 - Haha, its not my story. But I am a medicine student,… 08/31/2014 on Is it friday? +1
#19 - Now, I worked for a flower shop growing up. I've been to funer…  [+] (6 new replies) 08/30/2014 on Is it friday? +5
#88 - nigeltheoutlaw (08/30/2014) [-]
Thank god I realized what it was after the first few sentences so that I didn't have to reread this monstrosity. I didn't eat for a day after the last time.
#86 - tailsx (08/30/2014) [-]
#37 - crazylance (08/30/2014) [-]
I don't even know anymore.

H-how can people let themselves get -that- fat? I just...
Gah the image in my head... I hope you are blessed and that you will never have to suffer this kind of shit again..

I prefer to be Jack Skellington thin than to be land whale submarine fat.
User avatar #101 - lyestcer (08/31/2014) [-]
Haha, its not my story.

But I am a medicine student, just hoping I wont have this much screwed up shit in the future
#21 - norkas (08/30/2014) [-]
what
#36 - thunderquill (08/30/2014) [-]
#18 - I bring to you this monstrosity, from a poor nursing student o…  [+] (8 new replies) 08/30/2014 on Is it friday? +5
User avatar #42 - blokrokker (08/30/2014) [-]
That's disgustingly relevant.
#19 - lyestcer (08/30/2014) [-]
Now, I worked for a flower shop growing up. I've been to funeral homes. I've seen bodies in all states of decay. I've hunted. I've fished. My grandparents owned cattle, poultry, and pigs.I've rubbed deer urine all over my face. I would roll in cow shit before I went through this again.
Her inner thighs and the opening of her vagina were weeping this blackish-brown, thick, fluid. My classmates on either side of her promptly started gagging into their masks. The tech started screaming for me to run and get the peppermint oil. I dove across the theatre for the bottle, ran back, and drenched all our masks in the oil. Once we could all breathe again the tech told me to run for the doctor, that this was an emergency.
Ooook. I still have no idea what's going on. I can't see past the mountains of fat and the tech, but I do as I'm told. When I finally return with the doctor, my fellow nursing students were all huddled in the corner with the tech, who looked like she had aged 20 years in the 10 minutes it took me to come back with the doctor.
The doctor walked over and started asking the tech what the hell was going on. Keep in mind this fat tub of lard is still in the background screeching about how she wants to get down, and she's hungry, and when are we letting her go home. Somehow, somewhere this woman had found a man desperate enough to fuck her.
The mass in her abdomen? Was the remnants of a placenta. Her body had started rejecting the pregnancy, but because she was so overweight, she never knew she was pregnant, and never realized she was miscarrying. The baby had begun rotting inside her vaginal cavity and the placenta was just floating detached in her uterus.
They had to take her in for emergency surgery, scrape the remnants of the baby and the placenta out of her body and put her on iv antibiotics. I know she spent at least a week in the hospital. Past that I don't want to know and pray I never find out.

She dropped out of nursing school after that.
#88 - nigeltheoutlaw (08/30/2014) [-]
Thank god I realized what it was after the first few sentences so that I didn't have to reread this monstrosity. I didn't eat for a day after the last time.
#86 - tailsx (08/30/2014) [-]
#37 - crazylance (08/30/2014) [-]
I don't even know anymore.

H-how can people let themselves get -that- fat? I just...
Gah the image in my head... I hope you are blessed and that you will never have to suffer this kind of shit again..

I prefer to be Jack Skellington thin than to be land whale submarine fat.
User avatar #101 - lyestcer (08/31/2014) [-]
Haha, its not my story.

But I am a medicine student, just hoping I wont have this much screwed up shit in the future
#21 - norkas (08/30/2014) [-]
what
#36 - thunderquill (08/30/2014) [-]
#66 - lol 08/27/2014 on Anon is at the Amusement Park +1
#36 - Why cant we just enjoy the handsome faces of Squidward and Zah… 08/23/2014 on Was reminded of this 0
#38 - Gonna be honest, when I read the first two, I thought this was… 08/14/2014 on 9 amazing natural phenomenons +1
#3414 - **lyestcer rolls 4,760,928** 08/04/2014 on Roll for Green Text 0
#68 - I know what you mean, I knew one of the families on that plane… 07/22/2014 on The Peacekeeper +1
#2475 - **lyestcer rolls 146,426,218** Happy birthday! 07/10/2014 on Free Steam Card 0
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