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krasnogvardiech

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Consoles Owned: PC, PS2, Xbox 360.
Video Games Played: Too fucking many
X-box Gamertag: see profile name, capitalize fir
Interests: numerous
Date Signed Up:8/30/2012
Location:New Zealand
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#4397
Comment Ranking:#592
Highest Content Rank:#433
Highest Comment Rank:#103
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Level 212 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius
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Level 363 Comments: FJ Noble → Level 364 Comments: FJ Noble
Subscribers:12
Content Views:967671
Times Content Favorited:2134 times
Total Comments Made:19543
FJ Points:36519
Favorite Tags: the (12) | to (9) | warhammer (9) | of (8) | You (7) | it (6) | Not (6) | OC (6) | for (5) | 40k (4) | do (4) | emperor (4) | is (4) | my (4) | a (3) | and (3) | can (3) | data (3) | degradation (3) | Even (3)
I agree, keeping with logic and common sense is normally a priority. The hills have eyes, y'know?
On the other hand, there is a point where reason is to be thrown to the curb. We have gone past that point and that is why I am here.

latest user's comments

#75 - Just look at how easily domestic abuse charges are laid, and b…  [+] (3 new replies) 05/04/2016 on Well, looks like I'm never... +7
#77 - limberlarry (05/04/2016) [-]
So long as you get the guns back afterward its fine
#112 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
so long as you get your Right to speech back

so long as you get your right to priviacy back

So long as you get your right to a fair trail back

is this was any of those rights you would probably be up in arms. oh wait guns are bad so you would probably be protesting...oh wait you can do that when you get your right back.
User avatar
#90 - silverzepher (05/04/2016) [-]
You have never delt with the courts here in the us have you?
#22 - Okay, I'll bear with you. When do we get our share of… 05/04/2016 on It's a good cringe +3
#23 - How soon can we mount them on armour? The Earthshakers didn't …  [+] (6 new replies) 05/04/2016 on mother of all that is gun +36
User avatar
#62 - masdercheef (05/04/2016) [-]
This technically isn't an M777 mounted on armor, but it is close enough, as they are both 155mm guns.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M109_howitzer#Current_operators
#60 - demonhammer (05/04/2016) [-]
WHERE OUR MY FIRE SUPPORT
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#52 - amonlavtar (05/04/2016) [-]
its allready done, its called a "Tank"
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#56 - rollmeanddie (05/04/2016) [-]
Tanks fire a smaller, direct fire cannon, and most modern tanks actually fire a rocket propelled warhead through a smoothbore barrel instead of a giant boolet like in the above picture. What you're looking for is the US Army's M109A6 self propelled howitzer, also known as 'That's Not A Tank But You Haji Goatfuckers Are Screwed Anyways'.
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#58 - amonlavtar (05/04/2016) [-]
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SU-152

Red armor supreme
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#39 - gawkycrayon (05/04/2016) [-]
You have flashlights and that is all you need.
#22 - You don't need to be accurate when the explosion's big enough …  [+] (1 new reply) 05/04/2016 on mother of all that is gun +7
#26 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
or the firing point
#2133 - **krasnogvardiech used "*roll picture*"** **krasnogvardiech… 05/04/2016 on Hot Girl Roll Scavenger Hunt 0
#67 - "Revolver Myrtlenaster." (Revolver Myrtlenaster) … 05/04/2016 on I know Who I'd Choose 0
#41 - But we are being ourselves. 05/04/2016 on OUTDATED POST +3
#36 - Dox Fick. 05/04/2016 on What's on the Computer 0
#1 - Picture  [+] (61 new replies) 05/04/2016 on rape whistle +367
#73 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
mmmmm time to rev up those school shootings.
#70 - biater (05/04/2016) [-]
Lady in red prefers two irish wolfhounds
#66 - fyaq (05/04/2016) [-]
Depends which side you're on.
#71 - damson (05/04/2016) [-]
Get that burnt toast shit outta here.
#75 - fyaq (05/04/2016) [-]
We got that 3rd grade watercolor for ya
User avatar
#65 - DrPeppir (05/04/2016) [-]
its a matter of perspective, really.
#63 - empirennn (05/04/2016) [-]
Oh well since you used common courtesy....
#51 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
Adios motherfuckep?
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#56 - thesavagebreast (05/04/2016) [-]
It's just the little magnifying glass in the bottom right that's blocking the little leg of the R.
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#39 - soundofwinter (05/04/2016) [-]
If you're gonna rape, at least rape in English
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#46 - foodog (05/04/2016) [-]
Por qué?
#41 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
IL DULCE LIVES!!!
#40 - parsimus (05/04/2016) [-]
gets raped in english
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#33 - ieatbengay (05/04/2016) [-]
most rape isn't that kind of rape
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#34 - ieatbengay (05/04/2016) [-]
in the western world at least
#20 - topcommentmime (05/04/2016) [-]
#68 - kevinipples (05/04/2016) [-]
#54 - topcommentmimecopy (05/04/2016) [-]
#44 - mirrormime (05/04/2016) [-]
#58 - galkawhm (05/04/2016) [-]
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#52 - supervillian (05/04/2016) [-]
You are a lot better at this. Thank you for contributing to the community.
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#53 - mirrormime (05/04/2016) [-]
˙ʞɔɐqpǝǝɟ sıɥʇ ǝʞıן I 'sʞuɐɥ⊥
User avatar
#45 - brobathehutt (05/04/2016) [-]
"mirror mime"
sounds like a yu-gi-oh card
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#43 - iwishiwasabanana (05/04/2016) [-]
This guy is more loyal than i am with my dates countdown on mudkipfuckers stuff
#35 - bible (05/04/2016) [-]
Gee whiz kids, I just wonder who could be behind these accounts.

Also, aren't mimes like, mute? They don't usually comment very much.
#47 - gafasipo (05/04/2016) [-]
Can you fill me in some FJ lore, who is this guy?
User avatar
#55 - bible (05/04/2016) [-]
Im not sure tbh, but if I were to guess, I'd think its that totally tito guy. He's admitted to making a bunch of cancerous accounts and doing dumb shit like this.
#78 - gafasipo (05/05/2016) [-]
I remember a post of his admitting to all those themed accounts and shit.
It really isn't that annoying and if people stop to thumb him and reply to him he'd stop.
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#72 - mondominiman (05/04/2016) [-]
I remember he made a bunch of themed accounts but I don't know if any of them were for shitposting like this. Forgot the name of his original one but he was the aunt jemima for a bit there and now he's tito. It's always kind of fun finding out who has what alt account.
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#42 - custodien (05/04/2016) [-]
I think it's a play on the old mime trope of them mimicking someone looking away from them. Like someone would be talking and making gestures, and the mime would be behind them copying their every move. It's a poor stretch on the idea either way.
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#17 - mimiestmimiestmime (05/04/2016) [-]
#37 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
You ass
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#16 - anotherponyaccount (05/04/2016) [-]
depends, am I the rapist?
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#2 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
Pepper spray?
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#9 - allthelolz (05/04/2016) [-]
While it is pretty rare there is also the chance that you could get attacked by someone with an immunity to pepper spray. It's not a common thing and sometimes it varies from them just having a high pain tolerance to not even feeling a stinging sensation. Most people are going to be immune to a .45 in the chest. Unless of course they've built up there immunity in the past by shooting themselves with .22 and 9 mm.

Source: Brother is a cop, 2 guys in his class got sprayed as part of academy training and it dint even affect them.
#31 - colossusshadow (05/04/2016) [-]
I mean, the person who attacked you could have an immunity to bullets tho
#74 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
That's exactly what he said at the end of the paragraph.
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#76 - colossusshadow (05/05/2016) [-]
Oh wow, this whole time i didn't see it but got all these thumbs.
#62 - redandgreen (05/04/2016) [-]
It's why you should have a deadly attack dog as well.
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#38 - allthelolz (05/04/2016) [-]
True, that's why I carry the glorious all American 1911. With her .45 caliber commie killing glory, most would-be attackers have a hard time breathing with a golf ball sized hole in their chest.
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#11 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
Don't get me wrong, I don't think pepper spray is 100% effective, but it does work a vast majority of the time, and I was just pointing out that there are more options than carrying a gun or being completely defenseless.
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#18 - jtgonly (05/04/2016) [-]
Truth, but then you're open to the worst case scenario, being raped by a dude covered in pepper spray. That would kinda suck.
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#19 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
It would, but my eyes would still be watering either way.
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#12 - allthelolz (05/04/2016) [-]
I mean I agree with you there are definitely more options, I was just making my point that I would rather carry something that if operating correctly works all the time rather than risk using something that might not work at all (i.e. tasers and pepper spray). Plus an additional benefit to a gun is that it's loud an draws a lot of attention. I get it's a preference thing and I know some people just can't really live with the idea of taking someones life even if it's a do or die situation. I'm just not really one of those people I guess, my mentality is "Hey you shouldn't have been trying to commit some violent crime against me, and you wouldn't have gotten shot. It's your fault your either dead or maimed not mine".
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#13 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
I agree with you on that. I'm not really the type to carry a gun, but I do like guns, and if someone like an armed robber came into my house, and I had a gun handy, you can bet I'd shoot the fucker. I have no problem with people using lethal force to defend themselves. I just felt the need to point out other methods because false dichotomies really annoy me.
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#10 - allthelolz (05/04/2016) [-]
Aren't*
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#3 - creamymcgee (05/04/2016) [-]
Then you'll have an angry horny methhead raping you instead of just a horny one
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#4 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
I think you underestimate how crippling a direct hit of pepper spray to the face is.
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#5 - creamymcgee (05/04/2016) [-]
Not as crippling as a direct hit of 9mm to the face. Its up to you if you want to take chances with a rapist though.
#7 - ygdosst (05/04/2016) [-]
Sober People have been shot in the face and not noticed it for a good few minutes.
A 9mm isn't going to stop someone on PCP, quite possibly even directly to and through the pre-frontal cortex. I wouldn't trust my life on utterly perfect accuracy that exceeds most action movie absurdity, especially when it has taken multiple cops turning a man into shambling mulch to stop him while on Angel Dust.

A taser won't do much to someone on PCP either since the odd effects the drug has on the neural and muscular system.
Pepper Spray is your best bet as a muscous tissue inflamatory it will still certainly cause physiological blindness even despite the lack of pain caused, and that blindness is absolutely key to surviving an attack from a coked-up gorilla.

Obviously the answer is to have both ready. It's significantly harder to disarm someone with a firearm, or to draw a firearm and fire back, while blind and in extreme pain.
#8 - anon (05/04/2016) [-]
carolina reaper spray? Or sulphuric acid spray?
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#6 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
Of course the gun is more effective, but a good hit of pepper spray will still be plenty effective, and you enjoy the added benefit of not having killed someone. And I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to defend themselves with lethal force if need be. I'm just saying, there are more than two options. And, of course, neither will be much help if you're drugged or something. Also, I'm too fat and ugly to worry about rape.
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#21 - kibuza (05/04/2016) [-]
The added benefit of not having killed someone? You mean not having killed a rapist?

Dude, if they had a volunteer service to go around shooting confirmed, violent rapists I'd sign up for that in a heartbeat. You don't even have to pay me. Shit, I'd pay a monthly subscription fee for the pleasure. I'll even bring my own gun and ammo.
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#22 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
Of course, you're well within your rights to kill someone if they're attacking you. I'd do it if I had to. Still, no matter how big a piece of shit they were, it would still weigh on my mind, and I certainly wouldn't be happy about it.
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#23 - kibuza (05/04/2016) [-]
No no no, you misunderstand. I'd do it to rapists who had nothing to do with me. I'd do it to rapists of people I've never even met, and I would sleep like a baby afterwards, knowing I'd removed some shit from the world.

Confirmed violent rapists and child rapists are easily some people I could kill without feeling remorseful.
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#25 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
I understand, but I don't think the same way. If I ever had to kill someone, no matter how necessary it was, or hell, even if they completely deserve it, it's not something I could ever take pleasure in.
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#26 - kibuza (05/04/2016) [-]
Just an aside here, but do you happen to be religious? Do you believe they will get punished after death? Or do you just think that every life is special?

Because I'm not religious at all, and as such I see the only way to punish them is to punish them in this life. Preferably by ending theirs. Maybe after some light torture.
#28 - kibuza has deleted their comment.
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#27 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
I'm not religious at all. I was raised Christian, but honestly, after I stopped believing in an afterlife, death has always carried much more weight to me, now that I see it as being completely permanent. I don't believe that every life is special, and as I've said, I'd be completely willing to take a life if I thought it was necessary. And, in those extreme situations, I certainly see it as the right thing to do. I'm just saying, it's a tough decision that I couldn't take lightly.
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#29 - kibuza (05/04/2016) [-]
Huh. I can respect that. I just obviously disagree when it comes to certain types of people. Rapists, Murderers and Child Molesters are at the top of that list. I don't know if I would go so far as to say I'd get PLEASURE from killing them, but I definitely would have a feeling of satisfaction.

Like when you kill a fox that has been killing your pets.
User avatar
#30 - bendingtimeisgood (05/04/2016) [-]
Well, I don't know how fair of a comparison that is. Rape or murder is one thing, but if someone killed my pet, I'd have no qualms about giving them a napalm enema.
#8 - AWAKEN MY MASTERS! 05/03/2016 on ZA WARUDO! +18
#2 - Picture 05/03/2016 on Cleared for Liftoff! 0
#4 - Boxing related. 05/03/2016 on I WIN +1
#3 - Not giving a **** in the face of the supernatural? Yes.  [+] (1 new reply) 05/03/2016 on power of laziness +4
#6 - sherlockbatman (05/23/2016) [-]
**sherlockbatman used "*roll picture*"**
**sherlockbatman rolled image**

"I never believed in gahosts until I became face-to-face with one...and then I wanted to fight it!"
#6 - So this is what Agility 10 looks like. 05/03/2016 on That balance. 0
#8 - Skitter was here? 05/03/2016 on PEST CONTROL +4
#42 - I like it. 05/03/2016 on Call of Duty®: Infinite... 0
#35 - Huh? 05/03/2016 on The Flower of Happiness 0
#13 - It would increase exponentially, naturally. 05/03/2016 on It's happening! +1
#22 - Picture 05/03/2016 on Anon wonders what 4chan was... +1
#37 - You're doing it wrong. Soupcan Guard is best Guard.  [+] (1 new reply) 05/03/2016 on DAWN OF WAR 3 CONFIRMED +3
#44 - doggyfashion (05/03/2016) [-]
did someone call for a wall of bullets?
#36 - Emperor be praised. 05/03/2016 on DAWN OF WAR 3 CONFIRMED +11
#27 - Nanomachines, son.  [+] (1 new reply) 05/03/2016 on 1-5-2016 +48
User avatar
#31 - andrewskistuff (05/03/2016) [-]
oh
#2 - Props to the guy who stood and clapped. Very American. … 05/02/2016 on Not even close +1
#7 - Young 'uns always need a pep talk or two. Might as well be me … 05/02/2016 on when you discover time... 0
#10 - Picture 05/02/2016 on League Randoms 18/? +4
krasnogvardiech has disabled anonymous comments.
Refresh Comments (3158)
[ 3158 comments ]
39 comments displayed.
#3176 - omarakbar
(05/25/2016) [-]
Kras has no chill
Ukraine is game to you
#3177 to #3176 - krasnogvardiech
(05/25/2016) [-]
ayyy

dats me
#3178 to #3177 - omarakbar
(05/25/2016) [-]
> invaded by russia
> invaded by germany
> invaded by russia again
> invaded by america

ukraine not weak, ukraine survive so many invasions
#3179 to #3178 - krasnogvardiech
(05/27/2016) [-]
Birds fly. Sun shines. Germany raises great leaders.

>Erwin Rommel
>Otto von Bismarck
>Siegfried Barbarossa

All of these told the politicians to go **** themselves. All of these Made Germany Great Again.

Soon, my Central Yuropanbro. Soon.
#3175 - matexius
(05/21/2016) [-]
Krasle, I have a challenge/question for you.
What would be your ideal video-game? The one that you'd never get tired of; that accustomed to your every interest and passion.
You can use parts of other games if you want for describing.

Also, I didn't know Falmer were Slavs... Look at him, just barely holding onto the counter...

#3180 to #3175 - krasnogvardiech
(05/27/2016) [-]
Sup, man. I didn't notice this until now.

The closest thing that ever came to a 'favorite' game for me is Supreme Commander II and its GOG expansion mod which took things back to a Forged Alliance style of things.

The Battlefield and Command & Conquer games take a pretty good standing for me, if only for nostalgia's sake.
#3171 - omarakbar
(05/19/2016) [-]
you must cossack dance
#3172 to #3171 - krasnogvardiech
(05/19/2016) [-]
later

for now

Dark Souls awaits me
#3173 to #3172 - omarakbar
(05/19/2016) [-]
you died
#3159 - omarakbar
(05/19/2016) [-]
Krasputitsa
tell me of your gaming... tell me war stories
#3160 to #3159 - krasnogvardiech
(05/19/2016) [-]
I have no stories. Only ********.
>be me, a while back
>playing in an internet cafe downtown
>Battlefield 2 cuz why not
>playing german-made map, Black Hawk Down style where we capture crashed points
>playing USA
>team rolling down the center, taking heavy casualties and generally not making much headway
>be me, inna Abrams
>decide to sneak around enemy
>go to the side alleys, expert maneuvering lets me move to cap a few points
>enemy flails trying to figure out who the **** is capping their points
>their fw SURPRISE TANK IN CRAMPED SIDE ALLEY
>I loop around and flatten more than a few of them
>most of enemy team switches to antitanks
>tfw my team starts mopping the floor with support LMGs aplenty
>tfw we flattened them with 415 tickets remaining
>tfw tankery

Considering getting World of Tanks for that very reason.
#3161 to #3160 - omarakbar
(05/19/2016) [-]
krasno zhukov the tank officer
#3163 to #3161 - krasnogvardiech
(05/19/2016) [-]
Battlefield games are always good for tankery, no?
#3164 to #3163 - omarakbar
(05/19/2016) [-]
yet to see how things go with BF1 tanks

especially your WTF russian tanks
#3165 to #3164 - krasnogvardiech
(05/19/2016) [-]
There were crazier.
#3167 to #3165 - omarakbar
(05/19/2016) [-]
those were more practical

what the hell do huge bicycle wheels do
#3168 to #3167 - krasnogvardiech
(05/19/2016) [-]
They don't get caught in trenches, apparently. That's what the huge bloody things were made for.

Howzit?
#3169 to #3168 - omarakbar
(05/19/2016) [-]
just do things the russian way

throw enough men on the front till the bodies fill the trenches
#3170 to #3169 - krasnogvardiech
(05/19/2016) [-]
That would be the Kriegsman way.
#3162 to #3161 - krasnogvardiech
(05/19/2016) [-]
da

also

>be me, fukken ages back
>get invited to hang at an internet cafe and play the store's modded BF2
>older boys mostly, but I accept anyway
>I get in onto the Iraqi team
>we play some ****** trailer map for starters, I get my ass handed to me
>then to a vehicle heavy map
>tfw there were helicopters
>tfw there were gunships
>tfw there was the ************* HIND-D
>take one and hop to the skies
>all the other idiots flail around with tactical infantry ****
>I just fly around and rain death from above
>most other players had 20ish kills at the end,
>I had 164
>became the designated airman in the next month's worth of games
#3158 - omarakbar
(05/16/2016) [-]
Krassle dazzle

tell me what you know of WW1
i need stuff to make a WW1 comic an need ruski information
#3156 - omarakbar
(05/09/2016) [-]
how to make cheap booze:

fill a barrel with water and dunk kras in like a teabag.... his natural alcoholic sweat will turn the water to vodka
#3157 to #3156 - krasnogvardiech
(05/09/2016) [-]
>relying on body fluids
>not using Woozy Aura

It's like you're not even one of the faithful.
#3153 - omarakbar
(05/09/2016) [-]
KRASSLE
its your day

SING kras
SING

National Anthem of USSR
#3154 to #3153 - krasnogvardiech
(05/09/2016) [-]
YOUR DAY TOO, GERMON

Wir sind des Geyers schwarzer Haufen
#3155 to #3154 - omarakbar
(05/09/2016) [-]
after whats going on in germany now, im taking to my polish side, bratishka
#3152 - omarakbar
(05/06/2016) [-]
soon
Krasnos people will be called to rescue europe from the kebabs

Gamehelpercom  WiC Soviet Assault TrailerNew
#3147 - omarakbar
(05/04/2016) [-]
**omarakbar used "*roll 1, cah answer*"**
**omarakbar rolls Clams.**
how will Krasputin kill islam
#3148 to #3147 - krasnogvardiech
(05/04/2016) [-]
With clam gun on the shooter car I can remove the kebab.

Victory is mine.
#3149 to #3148 - omarakbar
(05/05/2016) [-]
> kebabs invade motherland
> Kras shows no mercy


красный медведь будит
#3150 to #3149 - krasnogvardiech
(05/05/2016) [-]
удалить кебаб удалить кебаб
Шашлык является гадость
#3151 to #3150 - omarakbar
(05/05/2016) [-]
**omarakbar used "*roll 1, Magic 8-Ball*"**
**omarakbar rolls Ask again later**
is Kras really a kebab in disguise
#3142 - omarakbar
(04/27/2016) [-]
wai ruzzki bro never talk to me
#3143 to #3142 - krasnogvardiech
(04/27/2016) [-]
I talk back good. Just do so through messages, I'm a bit busy now man.
#3144 to #3143 - omarakbar
(04/27/2016) [-]
youre turning into shekelnator

"im busy im busy"
#3145 to #3144 - krasnogvardiech
(04/28/2016) [-]
IRL stuff is IRL stuff, man. **** needs taken care of, period, end of story.
#3146 to #3145 - omarakbar
(04/28/2016) [-]
kras gonna go all jack nicholson

all work and no play makes boris a dull boy
[ 3158 comments ]