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Rank #324 on Comments
krasnogvardiech Avatar Level 330 Comments: Practically Famous
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Consoles Owned: Xbox 360
Video Games Played: Mass Effect (series), Halo 4, Metro: Last Light, Farcry 3, Deadpool: the game, Borderlands 2, Singularity, Darksiders 2, probably other ones that I've forgot right about now.
X-box Gamertag: Krasnogvardiech
Interests: Warhammer 40k, Aviation, Mechanical engineering, Physics, Writing fiction, Firearms, Automobiles, Aircraft, Gaming, Reading, various other things.
Date Signed Up:8/30/2012
Location:New Zealand
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#886
Comment Ranking:#324
Highest Content Rank:#433
Highest Comment Rank:#113
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Level 206 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 207 Content: Comedic Genius
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Level 330 Comments: Practically Famous → Level 331 Comments: Practically Famous
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I'm fucked in the head. That's about all there is to say.

latest user's comments

#2 - Picture 07/22/2014 on I Like This Channel 0
#38 - It doesn't exactly end well. 07/22/2014 on Sword Art Online: Hollow... 0
#37 - Intriguing opinion, previously shitting stranger. 07/22/2014 on Sword Art Online: Hollow... 0
#65 - I'm confused. 'Growing up in the military' means you've had me…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/22/2014 on cringeful 0
User avatar #178 - ubisoft (07/23/2014) [-]
#10 - Picture 07/22/2014 on Its the circle of life ! 0
#2 - Picture 07/22/2014 on Peak of Patriotism +38
#15 - I don't have a relevant picture, weirdly enough, so I'll just … 07/22/2014 on Spaceship comparisons 0
#79 - The legalization of white minorities. 07/22/2014 on Tamblr 0
#22 - What you're thinking of is Doxing. That is illegal. 07/22/2014 on Here is admin, dont ban me :3 0
#19 - He's just high on caffeine. 07/22/2014 on Zed x Syndra (read... 0
#3337 - Very true. But there's a big difference between 'bigger' and '… 07/21/2014 on Pregnancy 0
#858 - Bitch please. To fuck his wife I'd need a bag, breathing appar…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/21/2014 on Pregnancy +1
User avatar #979 - konradkurze (07/21/2014) [-]
i thought you soviets liked big women....something about bigger women are well fed and more likely to have healthy children?
User avatar #3337 - krasnogvardiech (07/21/2014) [-]
Very true. But there's a big difference between 'bigger' and 'colossal'.
#5 - 20 GB data, 0.5 Mbps connection. 07/21/2014 on Hey everyone, let's move to... 0
#3 - And this magnificent devou/tg/uardsman. 07/21/2014 on Vengeance. +3
#2 - The very damn first. The one that spawned it all. Pre…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/21/2014 on Vengeance. +1
#3 - krasnogvardiech (07/21/2014) [-]
And this magnificent devou/tg/uardsman.
#16 - I'm lazy. No sidekick. Last words: "FOR THE MOTH… 07/21/2014 on Post below +2
#6 - Picture 07/21/2014 on u wot m8? +2
#13 - Avoid the festering shithole that is /b/. Sail instead on the …  [+] (1 new reply) 07/21/2014 on The difference between... 0
User avatar #23 - maela (07/21/2014) [-]
I still frequent /b/ on the daily >_>
#13 - Picture 07/21/2014 on remember kids +2
#43 - Picture 07/21/2014 on Salary idea from John Stewart 0
#26 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 07/21/2014 on Ball-pits now equal to... 0
#29 - elbrysobrony (07/21/2014) [-]
Um... About that...
#43 - **krasnogvardiech rolled user iamdrew ** 07/21/2014 on Save the Earth 0
#45 - DA COMRADE TAKE MOMENT TO BASK IN THE MOTHERLAND'S RA… 07/21/2014 on Anon visits his cousin 0
#31 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 07/21/2014 on hand cock +28
User avatar #42 - ssjcarbon (07/21/2014) [-]
The signature of a seismograph.
#124 - Enough for ye, exclamation? Or can't you handle a rea…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/21/2014 on You bastards need to +1
User avatar #125 - exclamation (07/21/2014) [-]
I can handle one, I guess.
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#1657 - matexius (07/22/2014) [-]
Hey Krasno...
Would you happen to know of an energy source, that is small, yet efficient and could power a man sized mechanical exoskeleton, kinda like this one?

I'm planning on maybe starting something like it and I'm trying to find an energy source... I know it's probably futile, but hey... Why not?
My father says I should be less on the computer, so... I need to find ways to entertain myself... friend suggested this...
I know it's way out of my field of experties and education, but I want to show those Japs that they're not the only ones who can build one... Gonna cost a lot though...
User avatar #1658 to #1657 - krasnogvardiech (07/22/2014) [-]
No fucking clue. Tried making a tiny nuclear reactor?
User avatar #1659 to #1658 - matexius (07/22/2014) [-]
... Right...
I'm fairly sure a tiny nuclear reactor could horribly backfire... and there are things even I can't get my hands on... i was thinking something like a small tesla coil, connected to a divider where one part is then in turn connected back into the coil and another to the suit... just a spark to fire it up... probably wouldn't work, though...
Still thank you for your time...
User avatar #1656 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/20/2014) [-]
trolling people the Kras way

Friends Joseph Stalin
User avatar #1652 - nought (07/19/2014) [-]
User avatar #1653 to #1652 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Not first by a long shot, and if that was an attempt to flirt, it went over my head.

What's up?
User avatar #1654 to #1653 - nought (07/19/2014) [-]
wat u talkin bout
User avatar #1647 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
Whatever Gets Us Drunk the Fastest | Metalpocalypse | Adult Swim
#1649 to #1648 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
< people who tried to fuck with Kras' alcohol
#1650 to #1649 - krasnogvardiech (07/16/2014) [-]
More accurately tho.
#1651 to #1650 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/16/2014) [-]
reminds me of when i do online gaming
#1645 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/15/2014) [-]
Kras on a friday night
User avatar #1644 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/15/2014) [-]
Enemy at the Gates (1/9) Movie CLIP - Crossing the Volga (2001) HD
User avatar #1643 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/15/2014) [-]
Enemy at the Gates (2/9) Movie CLIP - Battle of Stalingrad (2001) HD
User avatar #1636 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/09/2014) [-]
*fills the black sea with hops and barley to brew it into beer and throws Kras in*
User avatar #1637 to #1636 - krasnogvardiech (07/09/2014) [-]
The fuck would you do that for? The sea is already there, that'd just be mixing the two types of liquid. All the booze'd up water would flood the seaside areas of Ukraine and Russia and the like. That would drown several million people.

On the other hand, go for it.
User avatar #1638 to #1637 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/09/2014) [-]
drown the ukrainians in booze?
is that even possible...they dont work, all they do is eat sleep and drink.....eternal booze would be their heaven
User avatar #1639 to #1638 - krasnogvardiech (07/09/2014) [-]
>don't work

Nigga please
User avatar #1640 to #1639 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/09/2014) [-]
the hardest Ukrainians work is to steal russian gas
User avatar #1641 to #1640 - krasnogvardiech (07/10/2014) [-]
If all goes well there'll be no Ukraine. No Afghanistan or Mongolia or even Poland. There will only be Great Russia once again.
User avatar #1635 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/07/2014) [-]
the Kras life

Whatever Gets Us Drunk the Fastest | Metalpocalypse | Adult Swim
User avatar #1632 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/05/2014) [-]
Rus Tank T-34 & T-80 Red Square Moscow May 2005 60Th Anniversary Of Victory In WwII Russian Tanks
#1622 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/02/2014) [-]
shopping with Kras
#1627 to #1622 - syrianassassin (07/04/2014) [-]
you and krasnogvardiech knew each other?

why i did not know!
#1631 to #1630 - syrianassassin (07/04/2014) [-]
the cleverfag in drama board posted jew propaganda there, i countered his shit and called ben garrision is false

what a gigantic bigot
User avatar #1624 to #1623 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/02/2014) [-]
come on Kras

normal people put meat and veggies in soup....you just mix booze to combine the flavors
#1625 to #1624 - krasnogvardiech (07/02/2014) [-]
I might be to alcohol what Anakin Skywalker is to midichlorians, but I still need physical substance to repair this sack of flesh and bone that I shamble about in.

Fruit and vegetables to ferment and distil from there.
#1626 to #1625 - konradkurze ONLINE (07/02/2014) [-]
< Kras moment

hooking a tanker truck of alcohol to your veins
#1618 - evilhomer ONLINE (06/21/2014) [-]
#1619 to #1618 - krasnogvardiech (06/21/2014) [-]
Oh no you don't. Not again.
User avatar #1611 - soundofwinter (06/19/2014) [-]
fuck you
User avatar #1610 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/19/2014) [-]
do you even color text.
User avatar #1612 to #1610 - krasnogvardiech (06/20/2014) [-]
Sadly, no.
User avatar #1613 to #1612 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/20/2014) [-]
I have a color gold as the holy Aquilla. Emperor be Praised
User avatar #1614 to #1613 - krasnogvardiech (06/20/2014) [-]
That's pale tan. Gold is reserved for Him on Terra, and whichever Rogue Trader is rich enough to afford it. Congratulations, you're popular in desert warfare now.

I would pick a greenish-gray. Blend into your surroundings and all that.
User avatar #1615 to #1614 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/20/2014) [-]
They don't allow yellow on the site, so I chose the color of true gold.
User avatar #1616 to #1615 - krasnogvardiech (06/20/2014) [-]
Fair enough.

I'm inclined to think the Emperor's armour and coloring was a side-effect. Perhaps it may have been simple, honest and unpainted adamantium that ended up looking like the purest and holiest of gold from such prolonged exposure to Him.
User avatar #1617 to #1616 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/20/2014) [-]
It's the physical manifestation of the Astronomican
#1608 - konradkurze ONLINE (06/15/2014) [-]
for Kras birthday, i shall resurrect Lenin
#1609 to #1608 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
He'll be very confused and no doubt hungry.

Prepare a meal for the man.
#1547 - syrianassassin (06/13/2014) [-]
hereticla faggots not worshipingthe god emperor of mankind
#1588 to #1547 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
My life for the Emperor.
User avatar #1589 to #1588 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
chaos gods

i spit on them.

hires some goblins to do their filthy job
#1590 to #1589 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Cultist faggots. They're everywhere.

You can see them even today. We call them Social Justice Warriors and Retards.
#1591 to #1590 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
like those heretical faggots who call them self in middle east FSA and ISIS.

if bahsar al-assad only could purge those bastards.
#1592 to #1591 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Oftentimes one may major powers unwilling to act because of supposed lack of gain. I have no doubt Govenor Al-Assad could wipe them off the face of Terra, but he would probably place himself in a less advantageous position.
#1593 to #1592 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
he wont the election by 88.7% vote. now the world will not bother them self against him.
we really have enough filth in middle east and i would be really happy if they are dead by now. young or old. we don't want to see more shit living between us.
#1595 to #1593 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Too true, comrade. Too true.
User avatar #1597 to #1595 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
how is Ukraine, i hope america isn't stuffing her nose anymore there?
User avatar #1598 to #1597 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Ukraine is... complicated, in my opinion.
I can see why some of them would want to remain separate - freedom and all that. But realistically speaking, a large nation conquering a smaller nation should be a good thing. Bigger economy, more jobs, more work, more profit.
American or even European Union interference would turn things into a bloody nightmare. The modern day and age of Mutually Assured Destruction would be ever-looming over everyone's heads, to say nothing of traditional military engagement.

Speaking as someone from there with at least some experience of the conditions, I'd say Russia ought to be allowed to conquer it, on the condition that the Federation must swear to include Ukraine as an equal to one of their other states/sectors/things. It's the practical solution.
User avatar #1599 to #1598 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
just don't let americunts or western faggots stuff weapons to the rebels.
or you will be the second syria. i hope it does not happen
#1600 to #1599 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
I think that's what was already happening back in the Ukraine protests. The rebels were surprisingly well-equipped.
User avatar #1601 to #1600 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
they say, killing people will be more easier then trying to control millions.

faggotary used by americunts and western europoor
#1602 to #1601 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
They have a point, I think. What's a mob to a king and all that.
#1604 to #1603 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Well, think about it. What would be easier to handle, one guy who can be removed by a bullet to the head, or a massive angry mob consisiting of millions spread throughout every city?
User avatar #1605 to #1604 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
organized angry mob by western plans you mean
#1606 to #1605 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Pretty much.

Greed is the curse working here, I think.
#1607 to #1606 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
we thank some people
User avatar #1594 to #1593 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
he won*

do i even grammar. forgive me my emperor
#1596 to #1594 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
It's all good tovarisch, can't expect the astropaths to get it right every time.
#1584 to #1583 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Emperor, am I glad for the Sororitas support. We needed their multimeltas.
#1585 to #1584 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
we just need to purge those fuckers

faggot riddled with filth

BTW. i am syrian and 21. what about you?
#1586 to #1585 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Ukrainian, moved to New Zealand, 19 years old today.
#1587 to #1586 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
nice to know you
#1548 to #1547 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]

>Not following the Imperial Cult
#1549 to #1548 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
give them this
#1550 to #1549 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
>trying to match me in 40k pics

You play a dangerous game, tovarisch.
#1553 to #1552 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
what are you? space marine?
#1554 to #1553 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Hell no. I'm a fucking Imperial Guardsman.
#1555 to #1554 - syrianassassin (06/15/2014) [-]
well as a space marine myself.
you are fine to me. just dont run from the battle and you wont be shot by your own commander.
#1556 to #1555 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]



#1558 to #1557 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
Fine. You got me. I'm Terran. Transferred out here.
User avatar #1525 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
Kras, get the game Dawn of War Retribution. I want to play last stand with you.
User avatar #1526 to #1525 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
I have it on a hard drive which is fuckin' inaccessible, and I can't get the multiplayer to work.
User avatar #1527 to #1526 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
get it on steam you niggerjew
User avatar #1528 to #1527 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
I'm a broke-ass student with no money. I can't afford it.
User avatar #1529 to #1528 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
had I thirty bucks, bro.
#1530 to #1529 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
[obvious statement]
User avatar #1531 to #1530 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
the last stand is ten bucks
I'll see what I can do.
User avatar #1532 to #1531 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
Don't worry, man. I might be coming into a little bit of money in a while.
User avatar #1533 to #1532 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
If you can at least afford the last stand then get that.
it's one of the few games where the DLC are worth it IMO
User avatar #1534 to #1533 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
I know what it is. Just not how to play it, nor do I possess the funds to acquire it.
User avatar #1535 to #1534 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
if you know how the multiplayer works: same deal, but you only have your champion.
when you level up you unlock wargear to increase your stats and abilities.
there is some niche stuff like the tyrant having three command slots instead of the standard one, and there's items you can only unlock by completing certain things.
I need 350 kills in one game to unlock an ork zapp knife which teleports enemies away when I hit them with melee. you can combine it with this wargear that causes things that you teleport to explode, or causes you to explode (you're fine) when you teleport.
User avatar #1536 to #1535 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
Huh. Can't say I know what you're on about, but I'll give it a shot as soon as I'm able.
User avatar #1537 to #1536 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
in last stand, you choose a champion: a representative of your race.
The choices are:
The Eldar Farseer (great at melee and has some kick ass magics. focuses mainly on teleportation and indirect fighting) major abiiity is this warp storm and a mass-hysteria that causes half of the enemies to fight the other half
The Ork Mechboy (Great all around fighter but a little lacking in armor) Roks. That's its ability. Roks.
The Space Marine Captain (Balanced in terms of combat and armor but a little slow without a jump pack) Dreadnought or orbital Laser
Chaos Sorcerer (Very fleshy but amazing when it comes to power and magic. Can make clones of enemies) dunno its major ability yet.
Tyranid Hive Tyrant (Great at unit control and staying alive. again, a bit slow.)
Imperial Guard Lord General (the epitome of glass canon. not too good when it comes to units as most are fleshy, but you can set up turrets) Major ability? Valkyrie Bombing Run (kills nearly everything.)

and last but not least, a champ you can only play inside of The Last Stand:
Tau Shas'O commander.

it's a dlc-only champ :c
User avatar #1538 to #1537 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
Dude. I said I know what it is, and its champions. Not that I know how to play it.

1d4chan is a wonderful thing.
User avatar #1539 to #1538 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
I don't know what you mean ;w;
it's a survival-mode arena-based game mode.
you have to have all three people survive for twenty waves.
if your character goes down it has to be revived.
User avatar #1540 to #1539 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
Wait, doesn't it go up to forty-five?
That one is when you get raided by Matt Ward's Ultramarines.

The wave after is when Gabriel Angelos him-fucking-self comes down like an ANGRY marine because there's no more smurfs for him to stomp.
User avatar #1541 to #1540 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
wave twenty, anvil of khorne
you fight Gabriel Angelos and his terminator squad.

User avatar #1542 to #1541 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]
Oh fuck.
#1544 to #1542 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
you would definitely enjoy it though
User avatar #1545 to #1544 - krasnogvardiech (06/13/2014) [-]

I have to swim into blessed unconsciousness though. Dasvidanye.
User avatar #1546 to #1545 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
don't you type at me with those mune roons
User avatar #1543 to #1542 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
My friend built his tyranid tyrand focusing solely on supporting his cheapest and most expendable unit: The genestealer.
he gave them the ability to bleed enemies while producing acid and noxious clouds with every hit.
they killed Angelos during the cutscene.
#1505 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
dance like braum. do it, I dare you.
User avatar #1506 to #1505 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
Just did. Never has a stubbed toe on a fridge been so worth it.
#1507 to #1506 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
wish I could have seen it.

so what's up man?
#1510 to #1509 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
being my general piece of shit self. games on thursday and sunday, probably gonna start one on wednesdays too. trying to get a job. working on writing. sucking at vidya games.
#1511 to #1510 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
The Emperor loathes self-depreciation! Have this to cheer you up.
#1512 to #1511 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
hey man, I did get to see the newest gojira movie last night.
#1513 to #1512 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
That's pretty good. It's a proper unknown monstrosity now rather than an amphibious t-rex.
#1514 to #1513 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
it's always been amphibious unknown cryptid. ever since the originals.
Gojirra was a monster from times predating most known life. it had slept deep in the earth as the world changed and was hit with a nuclear bomb when it awakened.
The new lore is better, though. In my opinion at least.

fuck cars three, I already want a sequel where he fights King Ghidora.
#1515 to #1514 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
I just want the outstanding scene in which we kill both of them by drowning them with firepower.

Might cost a couple thousand lives, but those things could level cities if left unchecked. Bring them down, break out the Titan Hunters!
#1516 to #1515 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
Dude, if humanity goes against Gojirra, you know the rules

It's either Mecha Godzilla or Ultraman.
#1517 to #1516 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]

#1518 to #1517 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
I agree. Ultraman Tiga to be precise.
#1519 to #1518 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
Titan HUNTERS, sir, not other Titans.

Though that's an attractive prospect.
#1520 to #1519 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
Nigger not everything is about 40k.
If we're fighting gojirra, it's in the gojirraverse

because in a crossover with 40k, it's terrestrial, ergo humanity has figured out a way to repurpose it into a tyranid killer.
User avatar #1521 to #1520 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
True enough.

The only thing mildly relevant to the Gojirraverse I have seen is the 1995 movie, gimme a break.
#1522 to #1521 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
I am weeaboo as shit when it comes to Gojirra.
#1523 to #1522 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
You know there's a big line between weaboo and archivist. It's class; a sense of refinement and purpose. I consider you the latter, sir.
#1524 to #1523 - lordgeneral ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
that's fair. I look at the new shit and see the improvements, not bitch about how it's still not some guy in a green rubber suit.
#1508 to #1507 - krasnogvardiech (06/12/2014) [-]
Boozing, cruising, job hunting, welding, making boxes, making hammers, completing eighty-four pages of Engineering Physics in under two hours, visiting relatives, Fallout New Vegas and generally never having been so glad to be alive.
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