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kingoshark    

Rank #4931 on Comments
kingoshark Avatar Level 211 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Date Signed Up:11/10/2011
Last Login:10/25/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#4931
Highest Content Rank:#2380
Highest Comment Rank:#4924
Content Thumbs: 4633 total,  5230 ,  597
Comment Thumbs: 1291 total,  1380 ,  89
Content Level Progress: 3% (3/100)
Level 146 Content: Faptastic → Level 147 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 94% (47/50)
Level 211 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 212 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Content Views:136888
Times Content Favorited:2 times
Total Comments Made:248
FJ Points:5873

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latest user's comments

#72 - I work in the Nuclear industry myself and have a pretty deep u… 43 minutes ago on Hopefully not unpopular here 0
#53 - Uncensored because I love you.  [+] (3 new replies) 10/21/2014 on Porn 16 +7
#65 - mysticprophecy has deleted their comment.
User avatar #64 - mysticprophecy (10/21/2014) [-]
Thanks!
User avatar #55 - pinecest (10/21/2014) [-]
I love you.

Have some pinecest.

tinyurl.com/knczk2r
tinyurl.com/nuvsczc
tinyurl.com/pemjgaw (long loader, super HD)
#129 - Division 058. got out last January. 10/18/2014 on Anon's Boot Camp Experience 0
#49 - The training is worth it, if just for the experience. Depe… 10/11/2014 on Farewell, FunnyJunk 0
#38 - Hey bub, active duty Nuke here. Here's some tips: 1. D…  [+] (2 new replies) 10/11/2014 on Farewell, FunnyJunk 0
User avatar #42 - spacefield (10/11/2014) [-]
10. Yeah I've seen through some of my recruiters BS. But he really hasn't talked it up too much. He just told me stuff I already knew or could have found out.

I ask only because of your pic related. Are you a submariner? [If not, ignore the following]
Is it worth the training which I have heard is hell?
And how much leave do you get as a submariner? I've heard it's more than if I were on a carrier for example.
User avatar #49 - kingoshark (10/11/2014) [-]
The training is worth it, if just for the experience.
Depends on the ship. You go boomer, you get plenty of leave, but not much in the way of seeing the world. Fast attacks and Guided missiles get less leave (Taking little to no leave over 2-3 years isn't unheard of). And the final possibility is being on the Spec Ops boat. You're in port for maybe 10 days out of the year. But you get to do cool shit. And the training isn't too hellish, you get used to it. Being a diver can be tough if you aren't into pt i guess.
#81 - I decided to forgo college and joined the Navy instead. Since … 09/23/2014 on (untitled) 0
#53 - >Finally make it back to compartment. >Everyone is g…  [+] (8 new replies) 09/12/2014 on Anon's Boot Camp Experience +67
User avatar #128 - bible (10/18/2014) [-]
Ohoho, fuck man

What division were you? When'd you get out?
User avatar #129 - kingoshark (10/18/2014) [-]
Division 058. got out last January.
User avatar #104 - catburglarpenis (09/12/2014) [-]
This makes me happy. My best Navy Boot story was when our rovers caught some dude jerkin' it in the head. His log entry read- "0348 ROVERS DALTON AND SMITH FOUND RECRUIT BAILEY IN THE HEAD... NOT USING HEAD."

Amazing. The rest of my four year career went a lot better, including vampire bites, dudes that lived in Chicago up and walking their asses home for the weekend in the middle of Boot (found him in SEPS before "A" School), and multiple stories involving alcohol and Asia. Now I'm in Army ROTC because my G.I. Bill is running out, so I hope the adventure continues.
User avatar #93 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
damn that makes me almost miss bootcamp
my second RDC would always cropdust me personally when I was on watch, I would always get back at him by hotboxing the drying room in the laundry in the morning right before he would come to inspect it
my favorite thing he ever said was "damn, bad news for you, the gerbil died"
then he ITE'd the entire division
was HoF worth it?
not one damn bit
User avatar #82 - dafuqisdisshit (09/12/2014) [-]
oh my gos thats glorious
User avatar #79 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
Post this shit as OC

Please for the love of all that is fuck.. his is the first time I've laughed this hard since I discovered r/talesoftards...
User avatar #109 - joeypie (09/12/2014) [-]
I dont know what r/talesoftards is but I wanna know, got a link man?
User avatar #121 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
I originally spelled it wrong, but here you go

www.reddit.com/r/tardtales/

Be warned that too much of this sub is a bad thing when it comes to lulz
#41 - >2 bags about a liter each filled with soapy water. >…  [+] (23 new replies) 09/11/2014 on Anon's Boot Camp Experience +80
User avatar #57 - newforomador (09/12/2014) [-]
You got part 3 yet?
#53 - kingoshark (09/12/2014) [-]
>Finally make it back to compartment.
>Everyone is gathered up around Senior Chief.
>Apparently noone could fold clothes for shit.
>Slip in and watch as we learn the art of NWU origami.
>drumsinthedeep.wmp
>Sprint away from the folding lesson to unload that which should not be.
>Sit down on commode, ready to unload.
>Before I can begin, Senior Chief, Unhappy with me leaving in the middle of lesson time, Storms in.
>"KINGOSHARK, WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOING LEAVING WHILE I'M TEACHING?"
>Before I can respond my ass speaks for me.
>A rollarcoaster of a fart, with peaks and valleys straight out of the Himalayas .
>Pregnant pause.
>Senior Chief, sounding a exasperated, tells me to carry on.
>Got the enjoy not doing anything but sit on the pot for the rest of the day.
User avatar #128 - bible (10/18/2014) [-]
Ohoho, fuck man

What division were you? When'd you get out?
User avatar #129 - kingoshark (10/18/2014) [-]
Division 058. got out last January.
User avatar #104 - catburglarpenis (09/12/2014) [-]
This makes me happy. My best Navy Boot story was when our rovers caught some dude jerkin' it in the head. His log entry read- "0348 ROVERS DALTON AND SMITH FOUND RECRUIT BAILEY IN THE HEAD... NOT USING HEAD."

Amazing. The rest of my four year career went a lot better, including vampire bites, dudes that lived in Chicago up and walking their asses home for the weekend in the middle of Boot (found him in SEPS before "A" School), and multiple stories involving alcohol and Asia. Now I'm in Army ROTC because my G.I. Bill is running out, so I hope the adventure continues.
User avatar #93 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
damn that makes me almost miss bootcamp
my second RDC would always cropdust me personally when I was on watch, I would always get back at him by hotboxing the drying room in the laundry in the morning right before he would come to inspect it
my favorite thing he ever said was "damn, bad news for you, the gerbil died"
then he ITE'd the entire division
was HoF worth it?
not one damn bit
User avatar #82 - dafuqisdisshit (09/12/2014) [-]
oh my gos thats glorious
User avatar #79 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
Post this shit as OC

Please for the love of all that is fuck.. his is the first time I've laughed this hard since I discovered r/talesoftards...
User avatar #109 - joeypie (09/12/2014) [-]
I dont know what r/talesoftards is but I wanna know, got a link man?
User avatar #121 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
I originally spelled it wrong, but here you go

www.reddit.com/r/tardtales/

Be warned that too much of this sub is a bad thing when it comes to lulz
User avatar #52 - riffibanezius (09/12/2014) [-]
Did they not notice this before? My DI's woulda been like Turn on the vacuum cleaner...
#51 - butakun (09/12/2014) [-]
This shit is better than the content. Kingoshark, you should just post the whole thing as OC.
User avatar #50 - thelovely (09/12/2014) [-]
Wheres part 3?!?!?!
User avatar #48 - delio (09/12/2014) [-]
wheres part 3?
#46 - pwnfrnzy (09/12/2014) [-]
We're waiting. . .
#44 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
Dear lord I need the next bit. I leave for basic on saturday.
User avatar #73 - Lulzilla (09/12/2014) [-]
Don't think for yourself is another good tip. Do everything the DI's tell you down to the fucking point. If you feel like a tough mf try to become guide or atleast a squad leader. Being Guide or Squad leader will give you command over the rest of the platoon. So if they act up or some dip shits act up you smoke them and smoke them hard. You'll have your trouble recruits. Trust me. Every platoon has them.
User avatar #65 - dagold (09/12/2014) [-]
A word of advice: Depending on your DS or DI, the best answer you can give is "No excuse, Sir!/ Drill Sergeant!" Because if you try to give them excuses they will eat you alive.

Also, never call a drill sergeant sir or ma'am, and never call a drill instructor drill sergeant. They will smoke you until they throw up from watching you throw up so much.
#43 - cheastnut (09/11/2014) [-]
what is LLD?
User avatar #63 - olias (09/12/2014) [-]
Light Limited Duty. Basically, it just means the RDC's can't smoke your ass. Which isn't to say they can't humiliate in some other creative ways.
User avatar #94 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
hell, they made me stand watch when I was LLD
fucking wisdom teeth man, screwed the entire division up
#117 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
I didn't get sworn in the first time because of my fucking wisdom teeth. Got those fuckers out the next day
User avatar #47 - hybredmoon (09/12/2014) [-]
Light limited duty
#39 - My bootcamp story: >Have horrible gas. >Talking …  [+] (26 new replies) 09/11/2014 on Anon's Boot Camp Experience +87
#103 - illumizanotti (09/12/2014) [-]
shut the fuck up cancerfag
#126 - zerocousland (09/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, i remember my first shitpost.
#41 - kingoshark (09/11/2014) [-]
>2 bags about a liter each filled with soapy water.
>ohgodwhy.png
>Feel cold sensation in butthole.
>OH DEAR LAWD.
>Watch as both bags rapidly empty their contents.
>In less than a minute my ass was filled with 2 liters of warm soapy liquid.
>Nurse tells me I have to let it sit for at least 15 minutes before using the head.
>Doesn't sound too bad.
>Longest 15 minutes of my life.
>Feel like I have a hurricane Katrina in my intestines, with twice the flooding.
>Make it 14 minutes and say "Fuck it"
>waddle over to the toilet.
>Spend the next 45 minutes turning my lower gastro track inside out.
>Had to flush at least 4 times.
>Leave the head feeling like a pretty boy after his first night in prison.
>Go tell Doc I'm done.
>Gives me Milk of Magnesia.
>"What's this for?"
>"Get's rid of whatever's left."
>"Doc, I'm pretty sure I saw that lego I swallowed when I was 5, there ain't nothin left."
>"Just a precaution, btw you're gonna be LLD for the rest of the day."
>better than nothing.
>Limp back to the compartment.
will finish in next.
User avatar #57 - newforomador (09/12/2014) [-]
You got part 3 yet?
#53 - kingoshark (09/12/2014) [-]
>Finally make it back to compartment.
>Everyone is gathered up around Senior Chief.
>Apparently noone could fold clothes for shit.
>Slip in and watch as we learn the art of NWU origami.
>drumsinthedeep.wmp
>Sprint away from the folding lesson to unload that which should not be.
>Sit down on commode, ready to unload.
>Before I can begin, Senior Chief, Unhappy with me leaving in the middle of lesson time, Storms in.
>"KINGOSHARK, WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOING LEAVING WHILE I'M TEACHING?"
>Before I can respond my ass speaks for me.
>A rollarcoaster of a fart, with peaks and valleys straight out of the Himalayas .
>Pregnant pause.
>Senior Chief, sounding a exasperated, tells me to carry on.
>Got the enjoy not doing anything but sit on the pot for the rest of the day.
User avatar #128 - bible (10/18/2014) [-]
Ohoho, fuck man

What division were you? When'd you get out?
User avatar #129 - kingoshark (10/18/2014) [-]
Division 058. got out last January.
User avatar #104 - catburglarpenis (09/12/2014) [-]
This makes me happy. My best Navy Boot story was when our rovers caught some dude jerkin' it in the head. His log entry read- "0348 ROVERS DALTON AND SMITH FOUND RECRUIT BAILEY IN THE HEAD... NOT USING HEAD."

Amazing. The rest of my four year career went a lot better, including vampire bites, dudes that lived in Chicago up and walking their asses home for the weekend in the middle of Boot (found him in SEPS before "A" School), and multiple stories involving alcohol and Asia. Now I'm in Army ROTC because my G.I. Bill is running out, so I hope the adventure continues.
User avatar #93 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
damn that makes me almost miss bootcamp
my second RDC would always cropdust me personally when I was on watch, I would always get back at him by hotboxing the drying room in the laundry in the morning right before he would come to inspect it
my favorite thing he ever said was "damn, bad news for you, the gerbil died"
then he ITE'd the entire division
was HoF worth it?
not one damn bit
User avatar #82 - dafuqisdisshit (09/12/2014) [-]
oh my gos thats glorious
User avatar #79 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
Post this shit as OC

Please for the love of all that is fuck.. his is the first time I've laughed this hard since I discovered r/talesoftards...
User avatar #109 - joeypie (09/12/2014) [-]
I dont know what r/talesoftards is but I wanna know, got a link man?
User avatar #121 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
I originally spelled it wrong, but here you go

www.reddit.com/r/tardtales/

Be warned that too much of this sub is a bad thing when it comes to lulz
User avatar #52 - riffibanezius (09/12/2014) [-]
Did they not notice this before? My DI's woulda been like Turn on the vacuum cleaner...
#51 - butakun (09/12/2014) [-]
This shit is better than the content. Kingoshark, you should just post the whole thing as OC.
User avatar #50 - thelovely (09/12/2014) [-]
Wheres part 3?!?!?!
User avatar #48 - delio (09/12/2014) [-]
wheres part 3?
#46 - pwnfrnzy (09/12/2014) [-]
We're waiting. . .
#44 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
Dear lord I need the next bit. I leave for basic on saturday.
User avatar #73 - Lulzilla (09/12/2014) [-]
Don't think for yourself is another good tip. Do everything the DI's tell you down to the fucking point. If you feel like a tough mf try to become guide or atleast a squad leader. Being Guide or Squad leader will give you command over the rest of the platoon. So if they act up or some dip shits act up you smoke them and smoke them hard. You'll have your trouble recruits. Trust me. Every platoon has them.
User avatar #65 - dagold (09/12/2014) [-]
A word of advice: Depending on your DS or DI, the best answer you can give is "No excuse, Sir!/ Drill Sergeant!" Because if you try to give them excuses they will eat you alive.

Also, never call a drill sergeant sir or ma'am, and never call a drill instructor drill sergeant. They will smoke you until they throw up from watching you throw up so much.
#43 - cheastnut (09/11/2014) [-]
what is LLD?
User avatar #63 - olias (09/12/2014) [-]
Light Limited Duty. Basically, it just means the RDC's can't smoke your ass. Which isn't to say they can't humiliate in some other creative ways.
User avatar #94 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
hell, they made me stand watch when I was LLD
fucking wisdom teeth man, screwed the entire division up
#117 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
I didn't get sworn in the first time because of my fucking wisdom teeth. Got those fuckers out the next day
User avatar #47 - hybredmoon (09/12/2014) [-]
Light limited duty
#32 - ***** , here is the ******* sarcophag…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/07/2014 on rekt +5
#58 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/07/2014) [-]
I could write a whole essay about this. But long story short: that granite coffer inside the pyramid and your usual sarcophagus in which Pharaohs and nobles were put to rest differ too much.
Compared to the final resting places of those powerful people, that granite box would have been an insult.

A credible theory would be that it was used for ceremonial uses.
#45 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/07/2014) [-]
>mummy
>rotted away

pick one
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