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jokeface

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Gender: male
Age: 24
Consoles Owned: Nintendo DS, PS2
Video Games Played: Pokemon, Pokemon, and that one with the monsters you have to capture and battle. I forget what it's called.
Interests: Writing, Lucid dreaming, Pokemon, Transformers (yes, even the Michael Bay version), Christianity, and movies.
Date Signed Up:4/07/2011
Last Login:5/22/2015
Location:Right behind you
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I tell jokes and I make faces. I am JokeFace.

latest user's comments

#33 - Hey France used the guillotine until 1977. I think that's more…  [+] (27 new replies) 07/16/2014 on Last Meals +1
User avatar #67 - gitanisme (07/16/2014) [-]
The guillotine is less barbaric. You just lose your head instantly.
User avatar #204 - kunterz (07/17/2014) [-]
you know you are still alive for 10 more seconds after your head was chopped off.
User avatar #68 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
And as I said in a previous comment, the electric chair is also instantaneous (provided it's done correctly). The advantage of the chair is that it's a less messy cleanup.
User avatar #69 - gitanisme (07/16/2014) [-]
"even following procedure some people stayed conscious up to 30 seconds."
User avatar #71 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
>provided it's done correctly
User avatar #72 - gitanisme (07/16/2014) [-]
>even following procedure
User avatar #74 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
I looked this up to counter your argument, but now I just want you to read it because it's interesting information:

www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1172/does-the-head-remain-briefly-conscious-after-decapitation
User avatar #34 - herecomesjohnny (07/16/2014) [-]
the chair is specifically designed for pain. How fucked up are those people
User avatar #36 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
I don't think that's true. Here, this is what I found on Wikipedia:

Historically, once the condemned person was attached to the chair, various cycles (differing in voltage and duration) of alternating current would be passed through the individual's body, in order to cause fatal damage to the internal organs (including the brain). The first more powerful jolt of electric current was designed to pass through the head and cause immediate unconsciousness and brain death. The second less powerful jolt was designed to cause fatal damage to the vital organs. Death may also be caused by electrical overstimulation of the heart.

If it were designed to induce pain, wouldn't it be more effective to keep the person alive as long as possible?
User avatar #37 - herecomesjohnny (07/16/2014) [-]
it's still frying a man to death while you can killl him on the spot. Some people survive and some scream. Who the fuck does that? it's fucking fubar. Of all the tech in the 21st century and people still go with the frying machine, it's barbaric as fuck
User avatar #209 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
You'll also find that of the 1383 executions since 1976, only 183 were electrocution. The vast majority, 1208, are lethal injection. Also, every state has the Lethal Injection as its primary means of execution. Only those 6 I mentions use electrocution if, and only if, the one receiving it requests it, except for Tennese, which will use electrocution if the lethal injection drugs are not available.
User avatar #208 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
You're being very ignorant, go educate yourself on the electric chair and find out that you're wrong in almost all of these cases. Also, there have only been 1383 executions since 1976. The vast majority of those are in Texas.

Also, only six states, Alabama, Florida, Kentucky, South Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia, still authorize use of the electric chair, according to the Death Penalty Information Center. The six states will electrocute only those inmates who request it.

So explain to me how this is in anyway barbaric if they even have to request the damn thing.
User avatar #222 - herecomesjohnny (07/17/2014) [-]
the USE of it is barbaric you fuck
User avatar #226 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
But it's only used at the inmates request. If that's how they want to die, how is that barbaric?
User avatar #227 - herecomesjohnny (07/17/2014) [-]
except in Tennessee where it may be used if the drugs for lethal injection are not available, without input from the prisoner.[4]
User avatar #228 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
Except that that happens so rarely that it's happened at max twice in the last 4 decades.
User avatar #229 - herecomesjohnny (07/17/2014) [-]
but they still USE it
User avatar #231 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
One states choice makes the whole country barbaric? Kay. Most murder cases go to the federal level, and there they are dealt with by the US government, who only use lethal injection. Your argument is truly invalid here. More barbaric things happen all throughout other first world countries than that, I guarantee that. I'm done arguing with you.
User avatar #232 - herecomesjohnny (07/17/2014) [-]
did i call america barbaric?
User avatar #233 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
You said:
"not to mention some still use the electric chair which has got to be the most barbaric shit ever"

in response to:
">2014
>death sentence

america confirmed for third world shithole."

So yes, you did.
User avatar #234 - herecomesjohnny (07/17/2014) [-]
i said "some", so nope. A group of people doesn't represent a whole country, you know.

"Kay" -captchakid

i thought you were done arguing
User avatar #235 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
Well obviously in proper arguing rules I cannot let you have the last word on the matter.
User avatar #236 - herecomesjohnny (07/17/2014) [-]
your arguing rules sound like a puerile attempt to save face
#237 - captchakid (07/17/2014) [-]
That may be true, but I can't let you win either way.
User avatar #181 - zanea (07/17/2014) [-]
It is horrible, but do they really deserve a good death? Did they give their victims a clean and painless death? It may seem draconian, but you reap what you sow
User avatar #51 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Hey I'm not saying it's not awful. I'm just saying, under normal circumstances, the inmates don't suffer as much as you think they do. Personally, I'm opposed to the death penalty. But of the various methods used, if I had to pick one, I'd go with either lethal injection or firing squad. The formal seems the most humane, and the latter seems the most noble.
User avatar #52 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
former* not formal.
#98 - I know. You're probably right.  [+] (1 new reply) 07/16/2014 on Interesting People 0
User avatar #112 - Rukioish (07/16/2014) [-]
Elctromagnetic field sensitivity. Not really an allergy but whatever.

www.odditycentral.com/news/woman-allergic-to-modern-technology-is-forced-to-live-in-faraday-cage.html
#96 - That would make for a very short episode.  [+] (3 new replies) 07/16/2014 on Interesting People 0
User avatar #97 - Rukioish (07/16/2014) [-]
Just sayin'
User avatar #98 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
I know. You're probably right.
User avatar #112 - Rukioish (07/16/2014) [-]
Elctromagnetic field sensitivity. Not really an allergy but whatever.

www.odditycentral.com/news/woman-allergic-to-modern-technology-is-forced-to-live-in-faraday-cage.html
#314 - The majority of texts I get are from my mom, who, almost daily… 07/16/2014 on Do you have friends IRL? +1
#8 - Oh joy, something I'm actually educated about. Okay, …  [+] (36 new replies) 07/16/2014 on Locust +195
User avatar #51 - IGotThis (07/16/2014) [-]
Thanks, man!
User avatar #52 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
No problem.
User avatar #42 - LegititmateKyle (07/16/2014) [-]
How does this happen in the wild? What happens to confine so many together?
User avatar #43 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Not sure, but here's an excerpt from Wikipedia:

Research at Oxford University has identified that swarming behavior is a response to overcrowding. Increased tactile stimulation of the hind legs causes an increase in levels of serotonin. This causes the locust to change colour, eat much more, and breed much more easily. The transformation of the locust to the swarming variety is induced by several contacts per minute over a four-hour period. It is estimated that the largest swarms have covered hundreds of square miles and consisted of many billions of locusts. Plagues of locusts appear in both the Bible and the Quran, including one of the biblical Plagues of Egypt, where locusts ate all the crops of Egypt. In a paper in the 30 January 2009 edition of the AAAS magazine Science, Anstey, Rogers, et al. showed when desert locusts meet, their nervous systems release serotonin, which causes them to become mutually attracted, a prerequisite for swarming.
User avatar #44 - LegititmateKyle (07/16/2014) [-]
hmm, how much do you think it would cost to breed billions of grasshoppers, let them turn into locusts, and then release them into the wild?
User avatar #45 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Well, the defining characteristic of locusts is that they eat a LOT. So if you were going to breed them but not release them into the wild, you would have to have an amazing food source for them.
User avatar #46 - LegititmateKyle (07/16/2014) [-]
But that's the thing. I'm releasing them into the wild.
User avatar #47 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
I mean before you release them, you'd want to keep them contained so that they'll breed.
User avatar #48 - LegititmateKyle (07/16/2014) [-]
Damn locusts being so needy.
User avatar #49 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Hey if they weren't needy they wouldn't have become locusts in the first place.
User avatar #50 - LegititmateKyle (07/16/2014) [-]
I guess that's true.
#33 - EdwardNigma (07/16/2014) [-]
I have seen some pretty big Grasshoppers in my day, thanks to living in a land down under.
Now I know to scream and run if I ever see more than one in a single spot.
#28 - anonymous (07/16/2014) [-]
Sounds like the Koreans in starcraft
User avatar #22 - ninjawizards (07/16/2014) [-]
I read somewhere that the actual stimuli that provokes the grasshoppers brain into become a locust is rubbing the back of it's back legs. :p
User avatar #23 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Yes, because rubbing their legs makes them think there's other grasshoppers/locusts around them that are doing the leg-rubbing.
User avatar #24 - ninjawizards (07/16/2014) [-]
Yeah I figured I just thought it was cool that they actually pinned down the specific physiological reason for it. Do you think they rubbed loads of grasshoppers all over to find out...?
User avatar #25 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
I can only assume it began as sexual curiosity. Which begs the question: How much knowledge about other animals are we missing out on by socially repressing bronies and furries?
User avatar #29 - ninjawizards (07/16/2014) [-]
Think what we could discover if we started feeling up frogs or molesting monkeys? THE POTENTIAL....
User avatar #30 - SHOOOPDAWOOP (07/16/2014) [-]
And then aliens will never want to visit us ever
User avatar #31 - ninjawizards (07/16/2014) [-]
Ooooh If we felt Aliens up we'd working in whole new worlds of exploration. Alien Ass:The Final Front rear
User avatar #35 - blokrokker (07/16/2014) [-]
This thread went from grasshoppers turning into locusts to molesting aliens. I love the internet.
User avatar #32 - SHOOOPDAWOOP (07/16/2014) [-]
Sounds like the title of a corny 70s space porn
User avatar #34 - ninjawizards (07/16/2014) [-]
The best sort of porn. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowslit of the Ring
#27 - anonymous (07/16/2014) [-]
We will never find out that horses turn into unicorns if you tickle their prostrate every 10 seconds for 4 hours
User avatar #26 - heartlessrobot (07/16/2014) [-]
I'll betcha that's how we started getting milk from cows.
#19 - sunice (07/16/2014) [-]
**sunice rolled image** But do they blend?
User avatar #18 - bitchplzzz (07/16/2014) [-]
So they go full on nigger-mode and create a bug equivalent of a street gang?

SHIIIIIIIEEEET
#17 - captainwow (07/16/2014) [-]
Fuck that's badass.
#15 - testaburger (07/16/2014) [-]
#12 - ninjabadger (07/16/2014) [-]
And now we know, thank you jokeface.

User avatar #14 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
My pleasure.
User avatar #11 - rafii (07/16/2014) [-]
pretty much zombies. they run away from locusts because they don't want to be a grasshopper zombie.
User avatar #9 - mrvalane (07/16/2014) [-]
you should call yourself locutexplain
User avatar #10 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Ya know, when I made this account in 2011, I was thinking of names and I had finally narrowed it down to either JokeFace or Locustexplain. I left it up to a coin flip.
User avatar #38 - bbbaka (07/16/2014) [-]
What name did the coinflip decide?
User avatar #41 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
That's the weird thing. It picked Roger. I don't even know how.
#83 - Sorry, I thought I was replying to a different comment. My bad. 07/16/2014 on Interesting People 0
#80 - Does it happen in the rain?  [+] (1 new reply) 07/16/2014 on Interesting People 0
#82 - stalini (07/16/2014) [-]
dunno, i never go in the rain without clothes, so i can't notice
#79 - Comment deleted  [+] (2 new replies) 07/16/2014 on Interesting People 0
#81 - stalini (07/16/2014) [-]
not a slightest idea and it does not even bother me, so i have not gathered any info about it
User avatar #83 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Sorry, I thought I was replying to a different comment. My bad.
#76 - Yea that one bothered me. It's like no one's ever heard of ect… 07/16/2014 on Interesting People +1
#75 - Sounds like you're making your showers too hot.  [+] (6 new replies) 07/16/2014 on Interesting People 0
#77 - stalini (07/16/2014) [-]
nope
User avatar #80 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Does it happen in the rain?
#82 - stalini (07/16/2014) [-]
dunno, i never go in the rain without clothes, so i can't notice
#79 - jokeface has deleted their comment.
#81 - stalini (07/16/2014) [-]
not a slightest idea and it does not even bother me, so i have not gathered any info about it
User avatar #83 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
Sorry, I thought I was replying to a different comment. My bad.
#74 - This is probably just because I've been watching a lot of Hous…  [+] (5 new replies) 07/16/2014 on Interesting People 0
User avatar #95 - Rukioish (07/16/2014) [-]
Maybe she just has a silicone or plastic allergy and since a lot of tech contains mostly that, it bugs her out.
User avatar #96 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
That would make for a very short episode.
User avatar #97 - Rukioish (07/16/2014) [-]
Just sayin'
User avatar #98 - jokeface (07/16/2014) [-]
I know. You're probably right.
User avatar #112 - Rukioish (07/16/2014) [-]
Elctromagnetic field sensitivity. Not really an allergy but whatever.

www.odditycentral.com/news/woman-allergic-to-modern-technology-is-forced-to-live-in-faraday-cage.html
#78270 - The dictation of my understanding of reality has no impact on …  [+] (1 new reply) 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
User avatar #78272 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
I wish it were that simple with your beliefs. Although we come to many of the same conclusions, we also don't Your belief comes with a hell of a lot of baggage. If it were as simple as deriving your beliefs from a different method, there would be very little issue. But it's the baggage that causes problems.

"Yes, I believe God created everything, but that doesn't mean I deny basic chemistry, physics, math, anatomy, etc. "

And that's great. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for everyone.


"The only difference between us in that regard is that I believe everything was guided by God's hand. You're saying that makes me some kind of thought slave?"

Essentially, yes. There is a reason why critical and analytical thinking tend to be lower amongst deity driven religions than in comparison to atheists. I think this reason has a lot to do with being told what to believe and how to act. If you're constantly following someone else, when do you ever have input? It's even worse now, because the words are taken as if they are written in stone. They can't be changed, you can't voice any concerns or have any sort of input. It's a constant state of following. This suspends thought, or at least, throws it in the background where you pay it little attention when it comes to anything in your religion.


"Like I said before, man, I can leave Christianity any time I want. There's no chain or shackles binding me to it. When I said you were no freer than me I meant that your beliefs are much more limited than mine. I believe what you believe, plus much more. "

But you can't leave, not as long as you believe it. It's the fear of hell that keeps you in, and the promise of reward. The illusion of choice, but really, you're being manipulated.

Now, this isn't a dick measuring contest. Quality of beliefs is not determined by quantity. It's determined by accuracy and reliability, something yours probably lacks in many fields even outside of the religious spectrum.
#78266 - Thank you for answering, I guess. But after you answered you c…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
User avatar #78271 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
"Thank you for answering, I guess. But after you answered you carried on ... Everyone on this board knows what you'd do differently if you were God. But news flash: You're not God, and you can't change God. "

It's no surprise that you wouldn't care about the I'd rather" statements. I'm betting that you'd probably look at those statements and think ' Hmmm, you know, that does sound good.' Which might just cast doubt on your own beliefs.

You're right, I'm not God. But that wasn't really my point is it? I don't need to be a god to think up a more efficient, honest, moral system. I do think you can change God. Authors have been doing it now for thousands of years. Of course, I don't think gods exist anywhere outside of fiction.

"So why bother listing all the things you find wrong with Him? "
How else are we to determine our own morality? We have this character who is supposed to be perfect, supreme and yet, suffers from a lot of the same problems mankind does(or used to). And in some regard, this "perfect" being is an even worse example of a moral being than most humans, the people this supposedly perfect being condemns.

"Whether or not He exists, and whether or not He's "nice" enough for you, cannot be impacted by your personal feelings. "

Sure it can. Newsflash, billions believe this or at least something very similar. This type of thinking influences many people all around the world. Our beliefs inform our actions and our decisions. If this belief is not true, then we can change it. We can purge it. We can point out the flaws, the inconsistencies, the immorality and decide "Hey, this is wrong. This probably isn't true. It's time to move on."

Even if it were true, we could still decide not to worship this horrible ultimate being. Is your afterlife so precious to you that you're willing to throw away your dignity and your humanity? Are you so unwilling to pay the ultimate price to stay honest, good and true?

#78265 - Wait I think you just answered my question in the other part o… 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
#78264 - The point I'm trying to make is that I, as a Christian, have a… 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
#78262 - You think you're freer than me just because you don't have a b…  [+] (4 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
User avatar #78267 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
You opened that can by calling atheists lonely for not following an instruction manual. But yes, I am more free than you. You live under a dictatorship masquerading as a loving, caring being. The irony of course is that from my perspective, such a being doesn't even exist, so really you're all living in deference to nothing.

"You sound like a homeless person bragging about never having to work. Yea, good for you for being your own man, but you're still living in the streets, with no greater purpose than the excuses you make for yourself. I may have rules to follow, but at least I have a home waiting for me, and someone who loves me infinitely and unconditionally."

Except none of that is really accurate. I'm not much different from any Christians. The difference between us is that I've come to many of the same conclusions by my own understanding of reality. While you have had those conclusions dictated to you by some imaginary higher power. In some sense, that gives my beliefs more value than yours, because I was capable of reaching them on my own, rather than needing a parent to wipe my ass ever time I take a shit.

I have rules to follow to, but the rules I follow are real, well established, well documented, not handed down through word of mouth and then translated into text and then into different languages and so on and so on.
User avatar #78270 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
The dictation of my understanding of reality has no impact on the reality itself. Not the physical reality, anyway. Yes, I believe God created everything, but that doesn't mean I deny basic chemistry, physics, math, anatomy, etc. The only difference between us in that regard is that I believe everything was guided by God's hand. You're saying that makes me some kind of thought slave? Like I said before, man, I can leave Christianity any time I want. There's no chain or shackles binding me to it. When I said you were no freer than me I meant that your beliefs are much more limited than mine. I believe what you believe, plus much more.
User avatar #78272 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
I wish it were that simple with your beliefs. Although we come to many of the same conclusions, we also don't Your belief comes with a hell of a lot of baggage. If it were as simple as deriving your beliefs from a different method, there would be very little issue. But it's the baggage that causes problems.

"Yes, I believe God created everything, but that doesn't mean I deny basic chemistry, physics, math, anatomy, etc. "

And that's great. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for everyone.


"The only difference between us in that regard is that I believe everything was guided by God's hand. You're saying that makes me some kind of thought slave?"

Essentially, yes. There is a reason why critical and analytical thinking tend to be lower amongst deity driven religions than in comparison to atheists. I think this reason has a lot to do with being told what to believe and how to act. If you're constantly following someone else, when do you ever have input? It's even worse now, because the words are taken as if they are written in stone. They can't be changed, you can't voice any concerns or have any sort of input. It's a constant state of following. This suspends thought, or at least, throws it in the background where you pay it little attention when it comes to anything in your religion.


"Like I said before, man, I can leave Christianity any time I want. There's no chain or shackles binding me to it. When I said you were no freer than me I meant that your beliefs are much more limited than mine. I believe what you believe, plus much more. "

But you can't leave, not as long as you believe it. It's the fear of hell that keeps you in, and the promise of reward. The illusion of choice, but really, you're being manipulated.

Now, this isn't a dick measuring contest. Quality of beliefs is not determined by quantity. It's determined by accuracy and reliability, something yours probably lacks in many fields even outside of the religious spectrum.
User avatar #78268 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
You hope you have a home waiting for you or someone who loves you unconditionally. You can't honestly say that you do, because you can't know beyond reasonable doubt that you do. And if you are claiming that you do, I'd ask for you to present this knowledge to the world so that once and for all, we can settle the debate.
And it's funny that you say unconditional love. I don't know many loving parents that would construct a torture chamber in their basement and punish you for eternity for serious crimes, especially minor crimes. I don't know any parent that thinks their own crimes should be passed on to their children. I don't know any parent that would deem all of their children, from birth as deserving of a infinite damnation. I don't know many parents that go on mass murder sprees
#78258 - You seem to be heavily focused on hypothetical scenarios, and …  [+] (3 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
User avatar #78261 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
Which hypothetical?
The last paragraph? That is my system. I find it superior, more moral and more focused on what should matter. It doesn't use fear or bribery to influence a person. It stays honest and true to how the person is. It doesn't rely on belief for final judgement, it relies on character.

Within the realm of Christianity one system exists indeed. Does that mean it's the best, most logical, most moral system? Could there not be something better? Just because the system exists (or you believe it to exist) does that require your undying support?

Restate the question, I can't find it.

User avatar #78265 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Wait I think you just answered my question in the other part of this thread.
User avatar #78264 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
The point I'm trying to make is that I, as a Christian, have accepted the truth that God exists and has set forth the system described in the Bible, and I believe, with all my heart, mind, body, and soul, that if I don't comply with this system, I will be condemned to hell. But if I do comply, I'll receive eternal life in heaven.

Now, given that I believe that stuff, and that now you know I believe that stuff, how can you ask me to follow any other moral/spiritual system, even if it is, as you say, more moral? If I were to live by another code, I would knowingly be dooming myself to hell. So what I'm trying to ask you is this: If you were faced with the same choice as me, where you believed what I believe, and someone asked you to turn away from God to be more "moral", could you do it, if you believed that doing so would cause you to go to hell?
#78244 - But presupposing that the reward of heaven does exist, and if …  [+] (3 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
User avatar #78263 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
"But presupposing that the reward of heaven does exist, and if one could prove it existed, surely you couldn't blame anyone for wanting to attain it"

Not at all. I can see exactly why. It would be the path I choose if I were to believe in God again. But see how that works? God is waving the proverbial sausage in front of the face of a starving man. Of course the man is going to want to eat it. That man, depending on his level of starvation might do many thing just to get that one bite.

"If the ultimate choice in life boils down to heaven versus hell, then I really don't think dignity would be your main concern. "

You've lost your dignity for worshiping and apologizing for a being that has done horrible things just so that you can get the reward instead of facing the punishment. In essence, your being controlled by the promise of a great reward, and terrified into thinking that you might be burned if you slip up. It is an emotional appeal to your greed and fear. It is manipulation. It is a bribe.


"I mean would you rather suffer in hell for eternity just to protect your ego, or admit that you were wrong and go to heaven? (That's not rhetorical. I seriously want to know your answer.) "

Why am I being forced to choose either?

I'd rather an ultimate, supreme being not punish people infinitely for finite crimes. I'd rather the punishment fit the crime. I'd rather support a system that is actually moral, rather than it giving the illusion of being moral. I'd rather be judged by my own merits, my good doings and or lack of wrongdoing than be judged purely by my willingness to give God a handjob.

I don't disbelieve to protect an ego, I don't believe, because first and foremost, I have no good reason to believe. And then when I hear testimony from others, it shows me that they don't have good reasons to believe. And then of course, when I actually read The Bible and see what it contains, it's disgusting and gives me reason to not only disbelieve, but to speak out.
User avatar #78266 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Thank you for answering, I guess. But after you answered you carried on again with all the "I'd rather" statements, which I don't care about. Everyone on this board knows what you'd do differently if you were God. But news flash: You're not God, and you can't change God. So why bother listing all the things you find wrong with Him? Whether or not He exists, and whether or not He's "nice" enough for you, cannot be impacted by your personal feelings. He is objective, not subjective.
User avatar #78271 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
"Thank you for answering, I guess. But after you answered you carried on ... Everyone on this board knows what you'd do differently if you were God. But news flash: You're not God, and you can't change God. "

It's no surprise that you wouldn't care about the I'd rather" statements. I'm betting that you'd probably look at those statements and think ' Hmmm, you know, that does sound good.' Which might just cast doubt on your own beliefs.

You're right, I'm not God. But that wasn't really my point is it? I don't need to be a god to think up a more efficient, honest, moral system. I do think you can change God. Authors have been doing it now for thousands of years. Of course, I don't think gods exist anywhere outside of fiction.

"So why bother listing all the things you find wrong with Him? "
How else are we to determine our own morality? We have this character who is supposed to be perfect, supreme and yet, suffers from a lot of the same problems mankind does(or used to). And in some regard, this "perfect" being is an even worse example of a moral being than most humans, the people this supposedly perfect being condemns.

"Whether or not He exists, and whether or not He's "nice" enough for you, cannot be impacted by your personal feelings. "

Sure it can. Newsflash, billions believe this or at least something very similar. This type of thinking influences many people all around the world. Our beliefs inform our actions and our decisions. If this belief is not true, then we can change it. We can purge it. We can point out the flaws, the inconsistencies, the immorality and decide "Hey, this is wrong. This probably isn't true. It's time to move on."

Even if it were true, we could still decide not to worship this horrible ultimate being. Is your afterlife so precious to you that you're willing to throw away your dignity and your humanity? Are you so unwilling to pay the ultimate price to stay honest, good and true?

#196 - Okay. 07/15/2014 on Help take a bitch down 0
#194 - I'm sorry, did I offend you?  [+] (2 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Help take a bitch down 0
User avatar #195 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
Nope, not at all, I just don't discuss religion with people because everyone has a right to their belief system, whether I agree with it or not.
User avatar #196 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Okay.
#192 - As a Christian I can't afford the luxury of believing that ani…  [+] (4 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Help take a bitch down 0
User avatar #193 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
And that's why I'm not religious. I think we're done here.
User avatar #194 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
I'm sorry, did I offend you?
User avatar #195 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
Nope, not at all, I just don't discuss religion with people because everyone has a right to their belief system, whether I agree with it or not.
User avatar #196 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Okay.
#189 - I wouldn't kill them for fun either. They could serve a functi…  [+] (6 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Help take a bitch down 0
User avatar #191 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
People form bonds with other people all the time. Why is it so weird that they form bonds with animals as well?

They're fully capable of showing affection for people and even animals of other species, so why should we not show affection for them when they are often such loyal companions to us?
User avatar #192 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
As a Christian I can't afford the luxury of believing that animals have emotions or even self-awareness. They are sinless, which means that if they were self-aware, then they experience pain and suffering and death, all for nothing. I don't believe God would cause truly innocent creatures to go through that unless they were unable to perceive it. Thus, I believe animals are non-sentient organisms that operate similarly to super-advanced robots, which are able to mimic emotion and pain in order to protect their own existence, but unable to actually feel any of it.
User avatar #193 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
And that's why I'm not religious. I think we're done here.
User avatar #194 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
I'm sorry, did I offend you?
User avatar #195 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
Nope, not at all, I just don't discuss religion with people because everyone has a right to their belief system, whether I agree with it or not.
User avatar #196 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Okay.
#78236 - Prayer is primarily used to thank God for blessings and seek f…  [+] (11 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Religion Board 0
User avatar #78259 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
"I'm not saying being a Christian makes our lives better than other religions"

I didn't think you were saying that.

" I'm saying that having faith (in the case of most religions, anyway) makes life better than being an atheist."

How could you ever possibly say that with a straight face? Even I don't try and claim that my life is better from being an atheist. That's just silly.Your quality of life is based on your interests and experiences. You can find broken Christians just as easily as broken atheists. You can find happy Christians just as easily as happy atheists. It depends on the person.

Are you really so naive to believe that atheists don't have purpose, peace, hope or unification?

" Sure you can say that as an atheist you can create your own purpose and whatnot, but you can't escape form the fact that you're inventing that purpose for yourself,"

In my opinion, deciding for yourself is far more efficient than being dictated to. In this context, an atheist is more unique and free than you can ever be. Because we have choice, real choice. You're limited by what resides in a single book and it's not even your own thoughts and opinions. It's that of another, one that you now agree with. And you can't even disagree without fearing eternal damnation. Your very existence is dictated under your own logic. Is that not lonely?

The acceptance of the majority has nothing to do with truth. This has been demonstrated time and time again.
The brain is capable of many things, including belief without evidence, that does not mean that you should use faith.
I am capable of killing people if I decided to, but just because I am capable of doing it, does that mean I should? Of course not. Capability is not permissibility. To be able is not necessarily to be willing.

User avatar #78262 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
You think you're freer than me just because you don't have a boss to answer to? You sound like a homeless person bragging about never having to work. Yea, good for you for being your own man, but you're still living in the streets, with no greater purpose than the excuses you make for yourself. I may have rules to follow, but at least I have a home waiting for me, and someone who loves me infinitely and unconditionally. I have hope for something beyond this world, something everlasting. You have nothing but this rock floating in space, and then nothingness. Your story is so much more depressing than mine.
User avatar #78267 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
You opened that can by calling atheists lonely for not following an instruction manual. But yes, I am more free than you. You live under a dictatorship masquerading as a loving, caring being. The irony of course is that from my perspective, such a being doesn't even exist, so really you're all living in deference to nothing.

"You sound like a homeless person bragging about never having to work. Yea, good for you for being your own man, but you're still living in the streets, with no greater purpose than the excuses you make for yourself. I may have rules to follow, but at least I have a home waiting for me, and someone who loves me infinitely and unconditionally."

Except none of that is really accurate. I'm not much different from any Christians. The difference between us is that I've come to many of the same conclusions by my own understanding of reality. While you have had those conclusions dictated to you by some imaginary higher power. In some sense, that gives my beliefs more value than yours, because I was capable of reaching them on my own, rather than needing a parent to wipe my ass ever time I take a shit.

I have rules to follow to, but the rules I follow are real, well established, well documented, not handed down through word of mouth and then translated into text and then into different languages and so on and so on.
User avatar #78270 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
The dictation of my understanding of reality has no impact on the reality itself. Not the physical reality, anyway. Yes, I believe God created everything, but that doesn't mean I deny basic chemistry, physics, math, anatomy, etc. The only difference between us in that regard is that I believe everything was guided by God's hand. You're saying that makes me some kind of thought slave? Like I said before, man, I can leave Christianity any time I want. There's no chain or shackles binding me to it. When I said you were no freer than me I meant that your beliefs are much more limited than mine. I believe what you believe, plus much more.
User avatar #78272 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
I wish it were that simple with your beliefs. Although we come to many of the same conclusions, we also don't Your belief comes with a hell of a lot of baggage. If it were as simple as deriving your beliefs from a different method, there would be very little issue. But it's the baggage that causes problems.

"Yes, I believe God created everything, but that doesn't mean I deny basic chemistry, physics, math, anatomy, etc. "

And that's great. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for everyone.


"The only difference between us in that regard is that I believe everything was guided by God's hand. You're saying that makes me some kind of thought slave?"

Essentially, yes. There is a reason why critical and analytical thinking tend to be lower amongst deity driven religions than in comparison to atheists. I think this reason has a lot to do with being told what to believe and how to act. If you're constantly following someone else, when do you ever have input? It's even worse now, because the words are taken as if they are written in stone. They can't be changed, you can't voice any concerns or have any sort of input. It's a constant state of following. This suspends thought, or at least, throws it in the background where you pay it little attention when it comes to anything in your religion.


"Like I said before, man, I can leave Christianity any time I want. There's no chain or shackles binding me to it. When I said you were no freer than me I meant that your beliefs are much more limited than mine. I believe what you believe, plus much more. "

But you can't leave, not as long as you believe it. It's the fear of hell that keeps you in, and the promise of reward. The illusion of choice, but really, you're being manipulated.

Now, this isn't a dick measuring contest. Quality of beliefs is not determined by quantity. It's determined by accuracy and reliability, something yours probably lacks in many fields even outside of the religious spectrum.
User avatar #78268 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
You hope you have a home waiting for you or someone who loves you unconditionally. You can't honestly say that you do, because you can't know beyond reasonable doubt that you do. And if you are claiming that you do, I'd ask for you to present this knowledge to the world so that once and for all, we can settle the debate.
And it's funny that you say unconditional love. I don't know many loving parents that would construct a torture chamber in their basement and punish you for eternity for serious crimes, especially minor crimes. I don't know any parent that thinks their own crimes should be passed on to their children. I don't know any parent that would deem all of their children, from birth as deserving of a infinite damnation. I don't know many parents that go on mass murder sprees
User avatar #78257 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
Prayer can be used in that regard but the secondary use is indeed a violation of free will. Even a little nudge, by definition it's an interference from the natural, working order. If God gives a nudge, it interferes with the thoughts/actions or circumstances of another, leading to a new branch of consequences.
Also of note, if you're okay with the violation of free will and God's little nudges, then God should have no problem with providing me with the evidence required for my belief. After all, even if I'm not sure what would convince me of his existence, God would.

Then you sir have lost both your dignity and your humanity to accept such a horrible, immoral system that actually passes down sins from one to another. That would be like a court punishing you for your great grandfathers crimes. It's ludicrous. I don't care if it's a foundation or not, I don't care if it's required for your faith, if it's wrong, it's wrong. Stop making excuses for what you would probably admit is wrong and flawed in any other case and actually acknowledge that maybe your system of belief is not the best one. Hell, even if you still truly believed it, that doesn't necessarily mean you should worship a being that advocates something that your own moral system disagrees with.

Back to my mafia boss example. He's bribing you with death or life. You have a choice, sure, but the fact remains is that you should have never been placed in the situation to begin with. God, the mafia boss, has manipulated the situation and has forced an ultimatum, in this case heaven or hell.

Now, if God were truly moral, he would tell you neither about heaven or about hell and put more emphasis on being a good person, rather than your will to believe. Then, based on your actions, rather than your own greed, selfishness or fear, you would be judged and then either condemned or rewarded. In 1 minute, I just thought up a more moral system than your God.
User avatar #78258 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
You seem to be heavily focused on hypothetical scenarios, and what you would do differently, and I get that. But those hypotheticals are not the case. Within the realm of Christianity, one system exists, and you may not like it, but that's the one with which I've presented you. Now, please answer my question.
User avatar #78261 - eight (07/15/2014) [-]
Which hypothetical?
The last paragraph? That is my system. I find it superior, more moral and more focused on what should matter. It doesn't use fear or bribery to influence a person. It stays honest and true to how the person is. It doesn't rely on belief for final judgement, it relies on character.

Within the realm of Christianity one system exists indeed. Does that mean it's the best, most logical, most moral system? Could there not be something better? Just because the system exists (or you believe it to exist) does that require your undying support?

Restate the question, I can't find it.

User avatar #78265 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Wait I think you just answered my question in the other part of this thread.
User avatar #78264 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
The point I'm trying to make is that I, as a Christian, have accepted the truth that God exists and has set forth the system described in the Bible, and I believe, with all my heart, mind, body, and soul, that if I don't comply with this system, I will be condemned to hell. But if I do comply, I'll receive eternal life in heaven.

Now, given that I believe that stuff, and that now you know I believe that stuff, how can you ask me to follow any other moral/spiritual system, even if it is, as you say, more moral? If I were to live by another code, I would knowingly be dooming myself to hell. So what I'm trying to ask you is this: If you were faced with the same choice as me, where you believed what I believe, and someone asked you to turn away from God to be more "moral", could you do it, if you believed that doing so would cause you to go to hell?
#178 - Not trying to be edgy, just honest. I don't get how someone ca…  [+] (9 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Help take a bitch down 0
User avatar #185 - walcorn (07/15/2014) [-]
yo­u're still edgy as fuck dude.
User avatar #183 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
I know if someone did this to my cat I'd run them over with my car.

I'm not a petafag, but I don't believe in killing animals for fun.
User avatar #189 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
I wouldn't kill them for fun either. They could serve a functional purpose. Many of them can be eaten. Some can be used to farm. Others can be used to hunt. Some provide milk, others provide eggs. And many can be used as service animals for the disabled or elderly.

I do see the value in the utility of animals. I'm just saying I don't see the value in the emotional attachment to them.
User avatar #191 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
People form bonds with other people all the time. Why is it so weird that they form bonds with animals as well?

They're fully capable of showing affection for people and even animals of other species, so why should we not show affection for them when they are often such loyal companions to us?
User avatar #192 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
As a Christian I can't afford the luxury of believing that animals have emotions or even self-awareness. They are sinless, which means that if they were self-aware, then they experience pain and suffering and death, all for nothing. I don't believe God would cause truly innocent creatures to go through that unless they were unable to perceive it. Thus, I believe animals are non-sentient organisms that operate similarly to super-advanced robots, which are able to mimic emotion and pain in order to protect their own existence, but unable to actually feel any of it.
User avatar #193 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
And that's why I'm not religious. I think we're done here.
User avatar #194 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
I'm sorry, did I offend you?
User avatar #195 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
Nope, not at all, I just don't discuss religion with people because everyone has a right to their belief system, whether I agree with it or not.
User avatar #196 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Okay.
#173 - Maybe if she had killed a person, I might give a **** . …  [+] (11 new replies) 07/15/2014 on Help take a bitch down -5
User avatar #177 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
#2edgy4me
User avatar #178 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Not trying to be edgy, just honest. I don't get how someone can get that worked up over a cat.
User avatar #185 - walcorn (07/15/2014) [-]
yo­u're still edgy as fuck dude.
User avatar #183 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
I know if someone did this to my cat I'd run them over with my car.

I'm not a petafag, but I don't believe in killing animals for fun.
User avatar #189 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
I wouldn't kill them for fun either. They could serve a functional purpose. Many of them can be eaten. Some can be used to farm. Others can be used to hunt. Some provide milk, others provide eggs. And many can be used as service animals for the disabled or elderly.

I do see the value in the utility of animals. I'm just saying I don't see the value in the emotional attachment to them.
User avatar #191 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
People form bonds with other people all the time. Why is it so weird that they form bonds with animals as well?

They're fully capable of showing affection for people and even animals of other species, so why should we not show affection for them when they are often such loyal companions to us?
User avatar #192 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
As a Christian I can't afford the luxury of believing that animals have emotions or even self-awareness. They are sinless, which means that if they were self-aware, then they experience pain and suffering and death, all for nothing. I don't believe God would cause truly innocent creatures to go through that unless they were unable to perceive it. Thus, I believe animals are non-sentient organisms that operate similarly to super-advanced robots, which are able to mimic emotion and pain in order to protect their own existence, but unable to actually feel any of it.
User avatar #193 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
And that's why I'm not religious. I think we're done here.
User avatar #194 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
I'm sorry, did I offend you?
User avatar #195 - subaqueousreach (07/15/2014) [-]
Nope, not at all, I just don't discuss religion with people because everyone has a right to their belief system, whether I agree with it or not.
User avatar #196 - jokeface (07/15/2014) [-]
Okay.

items

Total unique items point value: 2050 / Total items point value: 2050

Comments(597):

[ 597 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #608 - lulzforalpsplane (04/03/2015) [-]
how are you liking the /religion/ board? Sad sight.
User avatar #609 to #608 - jokeface (04/04/2015) [-]
I like that it's back to mostly intelligent posting. I was very active on it before when it was dominated by atheists. Not that I particularly enjoyed that aspect of it, but it was nice that the threads were actually interesting and intellectual. So I'm glad it's back to that.
User avatar #610 to #609 - lulzforalpsplane (04/04/2015) [-]
Yeah I remember.
#582 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
mfw you think my username is brilliant
mfw you think my username is brilliant
User avatar #607 to #582 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
The thread ran out so I'm continuing here.

How they treat humans depends on how they get treated by humans. If they're used to a lot of handling and physical contact they can be very playful and friendly. But if you don't play with them often they may not trust you very much. When considering them as pets you have to know ahead of time how often you'll be able to play with them, because if you can't give them a lot of daily attention, you should get two of them so they can play with each other, otherwise they'll get lonely and lethargic.

Of course, if you do decide to get two of them, then you also have to take into account their sexes. Two males have to be kept in separate cages and gradually introduced to each other until they become friendly with each other, because they'll probably fight each other for the alpha role. And obviously a male and a female will eventually breed. The best combination is two females.
User avatar #583 to #582 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
See, now I associate your username with a pretty girl making a flirty face, and if you're actually a dude, or underage, then it's gonna be really awkward for both of us.
User avatar #584 to #583 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Ah, well you're in luck because that's my face. And I'm 22.
User avatar #585 to #584 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
That's Laura Mennell's character Janey Slater in Watchmen, and she's 34.
#590 to #585 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Please excuse me while I cry in a hole.
Please excuse me while I cry in a hole.
User avatar #589 to #585 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
I thought you meant my profile picture, dawg
User avatar #591 to #589 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
Wait wut.

I...I didn't even see your profile picture until just now. Lol.
User avatar #592 to #591 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Forget I ever said anything. I am still on my first cup of coffee. I thought you meant you associated my name with my picture, turns out it was the gif, and now I am BEYOND embarrassed and I want to start over.


Hi
User avatar #593 to #592 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
Hello
#594 to #593 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Maybe I should just stick to cat pictures/gifs

how's it going
User avatar #595 to #594 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
It's going swell, thank you. How are you?
User avatar #596 to #595 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Well aside from being embarrassed as **** , I'm doing alright.
User avatar #597 to #596 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
Well the good news for you is that I have ADD, so my brain has already moved past whatever it was about which you were embarrassed.
User avatar #598 to #597 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
That's wonderful. I have a lot of embarrassing moments and I wish my friends would get over them as quickly as you would have.
User avatar #599 to #598 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
It's one of the many perks of ADD, along with heightened creative ability, and an appreciation for smooth jazz.
User avatar #600 to #599 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Intredasting, tell me ore about yourself.
User avatar #601 to #600 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
Well I'm 24, currently enrolled in community college working toward a degree in television production, and in the mean time I make money delivering pizza. My hobbies include writing, yo-yo tricks, playing drums, and knowing a great deal about chinchillas.
User avatar #602 to #601 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Awesome. I'm 22 (as I mentioned earlier), I live in the Philippines, I got my degree on business management and I'm planning on taking up my masters soon. I used to be a radio DJ, and then I went into real estate for my dad's company but never enjoyed it, so now I'm the franchise officer for a brand called Potato Corner.

Chinchillas are cute, give me a fun fact.
User avatar #603 to #602 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
Oh man you're all over the place. I'm actually kind of intimidated.

As for a fun fact, chinchillas can't get wet. Their fur is so thick that if water gets into it, it won't be able to get out, and this can lead to various problems such as hypothermia, or fungal build-up, or even hair loss. The only way they can clean themselves is to roll around in volcanic ash, which coats their fur and absorbs dirt and oils and such. They do this naturally in the wild, and they're so good at it that they have the cleanest, thickest, and softest fur in the animal kingdom (rivaling only the mink in terms of luxuriousness).
User avatar #604 to #603 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Eh, don't be, I'm not all that. I'm Asian, it comes naturally.

Oh gosh I want to touch one.
User avatar #605 to #604 - jokeface (03/10/2015) [-]
They're so unbelievably soft. I owned several of them. They make great pets because they're usually very quiet and produce no odor, and because their fur is so thick, it prevents them from producing dander, which is the cause of animal allergies. So they're hypoallergenic. Which was good for me because I'm allergic to animal dander.
#606 to #605 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Hwat, sounds like the perfect pet. Are they sweet? Or assholes like cats?

pic related, that is my cat
User avatar #587 to #585 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
oh **** YOU MEANT MY GIF
User avatar #588 to #587 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
I am not a clever woman
#586 to #585 - cunninglinguist has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #576 - justsomechickyo (02/16/2015) [-]
Hey how are you?! I know it's been a while but I'd really love to talk w/ ya!
User avatar #577 to #576 - jokeface (02/18/2015) [-]
Hey Good to hear from you! I'm alright. How have you been?
User avatar #578 to #577 - justsomechickyo (02/18/2015) [-]
Glad you are doing well!! Had a rough couple of days but things are better now So you still going for God?
User avatar #579 to #578 - jokeface (02/18/2015) [-]
Very much so. In fact I just went through a pretty stressful period in the last couple months that was made especially difficult because of my faith. But I know God only subjected me to it because it would make me stronger. How about you?
User avatar #580 to #579 - justsomechickyo (02/19/2015) [-]
Well I'm sorry for the stress :/ But I'm so glad to hear that you stuck w/ your faith and are strong as ever! I am too, I feel kinda bad though I actually forgot it was Ash Wednesday today oops! I always say I'm going to use the season to really take a step back from everything and reflect; and to become closer w/ the lord and all that entails.... but sometimes I wonder if I'm actually taking those steps or not....
User avatar #581 to #580 - jokeface (02/19/2015) [-]
I'll let you in on a little secret: Rituals are the least important part of following Christ. All that matters is that you know Him, and love Him, and live a life according to His calling. As long as you do that, you don't have to worry about not being good enough.

Here, give this a quick skim, I think it'll help you: www.alanknox.net/2010/06/jesus-cares-more-about-people-than-rituals/
#573 to #572 - jokeface (09/02/2014) [-]
A shiny!

I shall cherish this gift forever.
#574 to #573 - tridaak (09/02/2014) [-]
Hey
Hey
User avatar #575 to #574 - jokeface (09/02/2014) [-]
Hey
User avatar #552 - justsomechickyo (06/13/2014) [-]
yo! soooo umm I know this is really random, but what are some good verus for like hope and paitence? idk it's a long story but i'm way stressed and I know you usually have some pretty insightful ideas......thanks!
User avatar #553 to #552 - jokeface (06/13/2014) [-]
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." - II Corinthians 1:3-5

"For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." - Romans 15:4

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." - I Peter 5:10
User avatar #554 to #553 - jokeface (06/13/2014) [-]
I could find more if you want me to.
User avatar #555 to #554 - justsomechickyo (06/14/2014) [-]
Naw this is great! Thanks so much!
User avatar #556 to #555 - jokeface (06/14/2014) [-]
No problem, happy to be of assistance. May I ask what's troubling you, that you found yourself needing reassurance?
User avatar #557 to #556 - justsomechickyo (06/14/2014) [-]
Well my bf went to jail yesterday and I'm really bummed out about it......I waited for him while he was in prison for a long time and he's only out for r a moth then this happened......now idk wat will happen w/ him or us
User avatar #558 to #557 - jokeface (06/14/2014) [-]
Damn. That's rough. I'm sorry that happened, and I'll certainly pray for both of you. You know, it's my firm belief that God doesn't allow bad things to happen in the world without opening doors for good things to come from them. It's definite;y distressing that this happened, but at the same time, think of it as an opportunity to grow in your strength and faithfulness. When you put your trust in Christ, He provides comfort, and He will stand by you in times of great pain. And the pain will pass. It, like everything else on Earth, is finite. But the love and grace of God is eternal. Let Him guide you through this trial, and I guarantee you'll come out stronger on the other side.
User avatar #559 to #558 - justsomechickyo (06/14/2014) [-]
Thank you so much! Ya I know it will pass and I'm trying to stay strong but it's tough......I should really be focused on myself right now anyways.....I'm trying to get sober and that's enough of a challenge in itself. I know God is here for me and I will get through this all w/ him by my side
User avatar #560 to #559 - jokeface (06/14/2014) [-]
Here, this song might bring you some comfort/support:

Sidewalk Prophets - "The Words I Would Say" with Lyrics
User avatar #550 - thebritishguy (02/02/2014) [-]
Do you know any good theist youtubers?
User avatar #561 to #550 - jokeface (07/17/2014) [-]
Update: I've been on Youtube a lot more than I used to be and I know a few more of the big names on there now. John Green is one of my favorites, and he's a Christian. But he's very soft-spoken about it and keeps his videos very impartial. Here's one of the only videos where he talks about religion:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXlI8Wn8J3Q
User avatar #563 to #561 - thebritishguy (07/18/2014) [-]
I met this born again rapper at college, he's not a bad rapper, although he rejects reason in favour of faith by his own volition.
soundcloud.com/panterforever
User avatar #565 to #563 - jokeface (07/19/2014) [-]
What sort of reason does he reject?
User avatar #567 to #565 - thebritishguy (07/19/2014) [-]
Just the principles in philosophy like logic, he says that if people study philosophy, science and reason then they will turn away from God. So you must fear reason and logic as God is illogical and unreasonable. It's strange how much I agreed with him. I was dumbfounded.
User avatar #569 to #567 - jokeface (07/19/2014) [-]
Yea see, that's where I draw the line. I don't believe that reason and faith automatically have to oppose each other. I believe that sometimes they do, but I don't think it's always the case. As I've said before, most science I find very reliable and even necessary to human existence. Without science we wouldn't have most medicines and technology that allows us to live our everyday lives. The Christians who reject all science give us a bad name. They don't realize that they are the product of science. Maybe not physiologically, but psychologically, they grew up in a world that was shaped by it. They depend on it even without realizing it.
User avatar #570 to #569 - thebritishguy (07/19/2014) [-]
I just held up my phone and said
"This was built on the basis of scientific principles and theories, if science has no value and is innacurate, if the theories are just guesses and the scientists were deluded, it should not work"
Then I turned it on, at that point though he just caved in and said he was not interested in debating and whatever I say will not change his mind, so there was no point in it.

I think it's because a lot of people think it is either science or God when this is of course not the case. I consider faith to be apart from reason though because it is elementary that what can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.
User avatar #571 to #570 - jokeface (07/19/2014) [-]
And you have every right to feel that way. I completely understand that mindset.
User avatar #562 to #561 - thebritishguy (07/18/2014) [-]
He's incredibly vague, he never really answered the question
User avatar #564 to #562 - jokeface (07/19/2014) [-]
Agreed, but he does that intentionally. As he said, the way people handle religion on the internet is very sloppy, and my guess is he feels that if he expressed his religious views outwardly, he would appear narrow-minded and bigoted, and he is very much NOT that. In fact, I've only ever heard him admit to being a Christian once, maybe twice, in all of his videos that I've seen. He doesn't ever say anything preachy, ever, and he doesn't let his faith define his character. So really, it wouldn't matter what his beliefs were, he'd still be the same person.
User avatar #566 to #564 - thebritishguy (07/19/2014) [-]
I'll check out more of his videos tommorow. It doesn't seem like he is taking a cut throat rationalist aproach though but more of an emotional appeal.
User avatar #568 to #566 - jokeface (07/19/2014) [-]
That's what I thought too, and I don't like when people do that, but I understand why they do it. And considering that so many of his videos are educational, and the fact that he and his brother also host a second channel specifically for academic learning (called CrashCourse in case you're interested), it makes sense that he's trying to reach as many people as possible, and quite frankly, he doesn't actually need to have a particular religious stance in order to be that kind of YouTuber.
User avatar #551 to #550 - jokeface (02/03/2014) [-]
I don't really know any Youtubers, let alone theist ones. The only one I really like is TomSka, and I don't know what he believes.
User avatar #548 - thebritishguy (01/04/2014) [-]
I don't know what this means
"'He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. And whoever says a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come" (Matthew 12:22-32).

So what actually is this unforgivable sin please?
#546 - snood (12/20/2013) [-]
Hey i just read a lot of your comments about Christianity. You're one of the good ones on here, at least from what i saw. Keep it up.
User avatar #547 to #546 - jokeface (12/20/2013) [-]
Thank you. I try to be good.
#541 - thebritishguy (07/22/2013) [-]
What do you think about Zimmerman? I think he was innocent, he just pulled a family out of a burning SUV!
User avatar #542 to #541 - jokeface (07/22/2013) [-]
I have mixed feelings about Zimmerman. On the one hand I don't support killing people, even in self defense. But on the other hand, I believe his testimony and understand why he shot the kid. If it had been me, and I was being attacked, I might have shot him, but not fatally. I would have tried to shoot his leg or something to just injure him so that I could gain control of the situation. But ultimately, from a legal standpoint and not a religious one, I consider him innocent.
#543 to #542 - thebritishguy (07/23/2013) [-]
From what the evidence shows I would have shot him but many people doubt the evidence. The way the media portrayed him was really silly I thought, he had several reasons why he was suspicious of Trayvon, it was raining and he was wandering around leisurely staring at houses, there were recent break ins in the area and the particular house Treyvon was looking at had been left unlocked on previous occasions. Yet the media insists that race is the sole reason Zimmerman not only was suspicious of Trayvon, but even why he shot him.
User avatar #544 to #543 - jokeface (07/23/2013) [-]
Yea I really don't think race had anything to do with it.
#537 - anonymous (06/09/2013) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6wWQgGTAlk
is this you? I assume you made that slinky video so therefore this guy would have to be you
User avatar #538 to #537 - jokeface (06/09/2013) [-]
I didn't make the slinky video, I just found it and thought it was cool. And no, that's not me. Number one I don't have access to giant shellfish, and number two I wouldn't be caught dead without my trilby hat.
User avatar #535 - josieabby (04/13/2013) [-]
I just wanted you to know that your "Thrift Shop" thread with taxation was one of the most epic things I've ever seen. I put the song on so I could sing your lyrics over it. I'm gonna have a perma-grin for at least a week!
User avatar #536 to #535 - jokeface (04/13/2013) [-]
Haha, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. I just wish we could have done the entire song. But I ran out of ideas lol.
#502 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
what do you think about atheist church's? there's one in England they just give science lectures, sing pop songs and comedians come on. I'd love to go
User avatar #503 to #502 - jokeface (03/24/2013) [-]
Sounds awesome. Of course, I wouldn't agree with them denouncing the belief in God, but other than that it sounds like it'd be fun. Why do they call it a church though?
User avatar #504 to #503 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
I think it is just that there aren't really any other names for that sort of thing
The word church originally just meant a meeting place but I get what you mean
#496 - necessary **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #497 to #496 - jokeface (03/24/2013) [-]
She was supposed to come up a few weeks ago but she never did. And I finally got fed up with not being able to see her, and so I put our relationship on hold until she comes up here. I'd go down to see her myself but I live on my own now and have a bunch of expenses that prevent me from being able to.
#498 to #497 - necessary **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #499 to #498 - jokeface (03/24/2013) [-]
Yea.
#473 - thebritishguy (03/17/2013) [-]
Are you worried about North Korea?
User avatar #479 to #473 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Lmao, north korea is not a threat.
User avatar #482 to #479 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
well China and Russia are and they have relations also the citizens of North Korea will be screwed
User avatar #483 to #482 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Yes they do, but I've told you. If north korea attacks us, they lose support, and if such an event happened. They'd turn into a nuclear crater.
User avatar #484 to #483 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
I suppose, it's still sad for all the poor North Koreans
User avatar #485 to #484 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Oh well.

User avatar #474 to #473 - jokeface (03/17/2013) [-]
Define "worried".
#475 to #474 - thebritishguy (03/17/2013) [-]
uuum like scared that world war 3 will begin or the civilians of North Korea will be nuked like Hiroshima , they have connections with Russia and China and have the fourth biggest military, Kim Jong Un told his troops to prepare for war and they always do nuclear weapon testing. On the other hand South Korea thinks they are just trying to get attention and trying to look big.
User avatar #476 to #475 - jokeface (03/17/2013) [-]
And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. - Matthew 24:6-7

I'm a little nervous of how it might affect people on a personal level, yes. But I know it's coming and I've accepted that fact, because as Jesus said, the end is not yet.
User avatar #480 to #476 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Lmao, taking the bible seriously.

Gee, Jaime, you get into unusual stuff.
User avatar #486 to #480 - jokeface (03/18/2013) [-]
I'm afraid I don't get that reference.
User avatar #487 to #486 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
You're Christian/Catholic/Whatever.

Laughable. Possibly..
User avatar #489 to #487 - jokeface (03/18/2013) [-]
Why is it laughable? Or, to be more specific, why am I more laughable than other Christians?
User avatar #490 to #489 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
I find all Christians laughable on an equal level.

However, evolutionary theists have a special place in my colon.
User avatar #491 to #490 - jokeface (03/18/2013) [-]
And why is that?
User avatar #492 to #491 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
They're naturally trained to ******** their way through an argument.

No matter what you say, it somehow fits in with science, or it's metaphorical, just...something to at the very least neutralize the argument given to them.
User avatar #477 to #476 - thebritishguy (03/17/2013) [-]
hmmm this supports my psycho analysis of the God delusion.
"When people make decisions they use their Ego to decide what to do, the ego is where morality comes from and is sometimes called the "soul" according to Frued. When people base their morality and decisions based on what they think a God says the God becomes the ego. This is supported by the fact people ignore/highlight certain verses and lessons if they agree/disagree with them rather than getting a true perspective of the characters to keep the character as their ego rather than having to separate God from ego. It is also supported by people using words like "reject" and why religious people are so protective of their Gods and are personally insulted when people criticise their Gods. Also the emotions they feel when some theists talk to atheists are similar to those of rejection, when an atheist doesn't believe in God they are not rejecting the proposed God and yet they use that word, it seems to me that they use the word reject because they feel they are being rejected"
User avatar #478 to #477 - jokeface (03/18/2013) [-]
Quite insightful. However allow me to make a few counterarguments.

From the perspective of someone who believes God exists as described in the Bible, consider that such a being would indeed have dominion over morality and, yes, even the ego of those who choose to submit to Him. That being said, can you really blame us for it?

As for your point about verses, understand that I don't ignore any of the Bible. At most, I don't apply the laws that Jesus and Paul said are no longer relevant. It's like studying slavery. We don't have slaves anymore, but that doesn't stop us from learning about the slavery that existed years and years ago. In the same way, some parts of the Bible, such as Mosaic Law, are now obsolete, but that doesn't stop us from learning about it.

Lastly, I don't think that's entirely why theists react the way they do to atheists. Because that would imply that theists view atheists as the "popular kids" and they feel excluded from them. Such is not the case. I mean, that might be said for some people, but speaking for myself and many others, being a theist among atheists is more like being in a special club with amazing benefits, and you can invite as many people as you want, but nobody else wants to join. And it hurts, yes, but not because we feel rejected; Rather, we're simply disappointed that no one else wants to share in our joy.
#481 to #478 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
so then why would God make the morality so different? all of our morals are different and change over time, if I was born in the 60's I would probably have different morals than I do now, if I was born in Afghanistan I would have different morals, therefore morality must be something we learn to an extent (we all share common morals like murder, lying and stealing is wrong) rather than God given and also this would intrude on free will. When you think of God I'm sure you don't think about when he ordered the deaths of millions of people or the time he sent bears to kill children for making fun of a bald guy but you pay attention to all the nice verses or like how you ignore the part in the bible were Jesus said to give away all your money or that for some odd reason God dislikes ordinary things that you probably do every day.
I'm not implying theists desperately want atheists to like them I'm saying that when I say "God is a dictator" people start saying I personally attacked them when I didn't
User avatar #488 to #481 - jokeface (03/18/2013) [-]
What you say about common morals is true, and those are the ones which I believe God instills in us. But it's not an intrusion on free will because the morality God gives us is just instinct, and we have the freedom to either give in or resist that instinct. And I do think about everything in the Bible (or at least, everything I can remember, since I haven't been able to memorize all of it). I know God did some crazy **** in the past, but that doesn't take away from the importance of His words now. We don't ignore any of it. Or at least, the Christians I know don't ignore any of it. I'm sure there are some who do but I don't condone it. God gave us the entire Bible so that we could learn from the entire Bible.
User avatar #493 to #488 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
I would have thought your morals would have come from the bible as you don't think sex before marriage is good for instance. Well I have never heard about all the horrible and contradictory things in the bible at Sunday school or in church I only heard about the nice (well they cartooned it to make it seem nice) stuff and how God was great. Never heard about the rape, incest, slavery, stoning, homophobia, sexism etc. until I became and atheist. do you know how the bible was written?
User avatar #494 to #493 - jokeface (03/18/2013) [-]
Some of it. I know the first five books (called the Pentateuch) were written by Moses. I don't remember who write the rest of the Old Testament. The Four Gospels were written by their namesakes: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John the Apostle. Acts was written by Luke, and Paul wrote the 21 Epistles. And Revelation was written by John the Apostle. It was completed almost 150 years after Jesus' death (about AD 150).
User avatar #495 to #494 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
They are the scriptures. The first Christians needed a book to read to their people so they all met up and have a long conversation about which books to add and which ones to exclude based on what they wanted to teach. The first Christians already burnt a few scriptures which are amusing (there was one were Jesus tamed dragons) but they complied them together and then gave them to really good authors to edit so that they all fit together. there's a documentary on it
http://www(.)youtube(.)com/watch?v=phyN5tWUIUI
User avatar #463 - ragnarfag (03/14/2013) [-]
It seems Thebritishguy is quite intrusive on your profil, would you consider as him a friend or as more of a rivle?
User avatar #465 to #463 - jokeface (03/15/2013) [-]
He is what I call a "lost one". I feel no enmity toward him, but rather sadness at his adamant stance against the faith. However, he seems intelligent and his debate style is intellectually stimulating, so I imagine he would be fun to talk to about other issues, even if we disagree on those as well.
#464 to #463 - anonymous (03/15/2013) [-]
thebritishguy is a troll
User avatar #466 to #464 - jokeface (03/15/2013) [-]
Why would an anon come to my page? I suspect you are Thebritishguy, having been summoned by the calling of your name, and you replied to it as an anon. If that is the case, your "trolling" efforts are uninspiring.
User avatar #468 to #466 - thebritishguy (03/15/2013) [-]
I'm not sure how to prove that he is not me but...he's not me
#469 to #468 - anonymous (03/15/2013) [-]
what are you talking about? you're definitely me
User avatar #470 to #469 - thebritishguy (03/15/2013) [-]
if you were me why would you reply to my comment, unless it was me and this was a double bluff, but if it was a double bluff I would not mention it is a double bluff because I'd want you to fall for it
#471 to #470 - anonymous (03/16/2013) [-]
lol jk. it really is me, thebritishguy. i'd like to admit that i'm only an atheist because i was molested
User avatar #472 to #471 - thebritishguy (03/16/2013) [-]
see it's not me...unless this was a triple bluff FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
#467 to #466 - anonymous (03/15/2013) [-]
man, you got me all figured out...
User avatar #427 - thebritishguy (03/11/2013) [-]
I am more moral than God, I believe no one deserves to be burnt alive for eternity, slavery is wrong, we should all be treated equal, witches don't...wait witches don't even exist, I'm not homophobic , I am against genocide, I don't demand constant worship, I don't threaten people so they agree with me. Surely you are also more moral than God?
User avatar #532 to #427 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
To say God is anything less than perfect is to say that He doesn't meet the "proper" standards of decency. And if that's the case, then I have to ask, who has set the proper standards? Certainly no human. We're all flawed. So who are we to decide what's right or wrong? God is without flaw because there is no one to set standards for Him. Therefore only He can set standards, and if He is the standard, then anyone who doesn't match Him is wrong. Ergo, He is perfect.
#533 to #532 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
God is perfect?
User avatar #534 to #533 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
God is above the laws He sets for humanity. He is not bound to follow them, and even so, they can't really be applied to His actions for certain reasons.

Godly wrath is not the same as the sinful wrath, because He has every right to bring judgment upon us. As I said, He's perfect, so his wrath is justified, whereas ours is hypocritical.

The reason He doesn't want us to worship other gods is because He knows they are not real and therefore our worship of them is wasteful, as well as disrespectful to Him, the one true God whom we should be worshiping.

God was never idle, except for on the last day of the week of Creation, and it wasn't because He was tired or lazy, it was because He was setting a model for all of humanity to live by.

People do not hunger because God deprives them, but because we do. As agents of Christ we are called to help our fellow man, and if people starve because we fail to feed them, that's on us, not God. It's one of the duties we accepted when we chose to fall away from Him.

Once again, being perfect, He has every right to advertise Himself as such and demand people to worship. When He condemns humans for being prideful it's because we don't have anything to be proud of by His standards. Maybe by our own, but since we're not the standard, our own self-satisfaction doesn't count as praise-worthy.

God commands us to give to the poor and needy, not to Him. That is not greed.

He is not lustful, either. Lust would mean He gets sexually aroused, which He doesn't. I think whoever made this list just got to lust and couldn't think of anything so they just threw that one in their without much thought.
User avatar #430 to #427 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
God never condoned slavery, "witches" in the Bible are referring to people like Wiccans and others who practice magic (that is, magic that is taken seriously, not magic tricks), God doesn't fear anyone or anything so He cannot be homophobic, and frankly it doesn't matter what your personal opinions are because just because you disagree doesn't make you right. God's word is infallible and His doctrines are perfect. No human can ever be more moral than God. Hell, no human can ever be as moral as God.
#431 to #430 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
The bible never says anything about it not being real which is kind of ******* important seeing as millions of innocent people were killed because they were "witches". You know that homophobic doesn't mean scared lol it means you hate gay people. If you think it is perfect then go burn a witch! oh no wait you aren't going to do that you are going to ignore it like all the rest of the bible, if you thought it was perfect you would live by it, you would sell your computer and give the money to charity like Jesus said.
User avatar #539 to #431 - teoberry (07/11/2013) [-]
Homophobic

Phobic - one who has a fear of something (adjc. of phobia)

Phobia - a fear of something

Jeez British, lrn2english
User avatar #540 to #539 - thebritishguy (07/11/2013) [-]
faggot
noun [C usually plural] (WOOD) (US also fagot)
/ˈfæɡ.ət/ old-fashioned
Definition
› sticks of wood, tied together and used as fuel for a fire

hmmm I guess when people say faggot on the internet they are talking about bundles of sticks.
You know as well as I do that homophobes aren't simply terryfied of gay people, it also means if they have contempt towards homosexuals, particularly in this culture.
User avatar #432 to #431 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
Obviously it can't be talking about real witches since humans can't do magic unless God gives them powers, and the only people He gave powers to were the Disciples.

And God doesn't hate gay people, He loves everyone.

And we're not ignoring the Bible, in fact, paying closer attention to it is exactly why we don't follow Mosaic Law. Because Jesus and Paul both clarified that it wasn't required after the Crucifixion.
User avatar #433 to #432 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
Jesus also said to sell everything and give it to the poor and a rich man can't get into heaven. the question is whether God is a moral person, he said homosexual acts are an abomination and you should kill them. If the writers of the bible didn't believe in witches why the **** didn't they say they didn't exist and it wasn't real? instead they had loads of rules on witchcraft, it's not like there was a word limit. don't be the interpreter
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLOUWl-L-s
User avatar #458 to #433 - jokeface (03/13/2013) [-]
God didn't adopt the attitudes of men, men adopted the attitudes of God.

And it doesn't matter if God is benevolent or not, because it doesn't change the way the system works. We worship Jesus so we can go to heaven, or else we go to hell. That's a fact, regardless of whether or not God appeals to your personal preferences.

And yes, I know you don't believe in Him anyway, but for the sake of argument, let's say God revealed Himself to everyone, to the point where He could not be denied by anyone, and He confirmed to us that everything in the Bible is an accurate depiction of both Him and the afterlife. Are you going to sit there and tell me that you would accept eternity in hell just because God doesn't base all His decisions around what you think they should be?
User avatar #461 to #458 - thebritishguy (03/13/2013) [-]
******** , guys had those attitudes before the bible was written, your God is similar to many other Gods in mythology, if God revealed himslef I would worship him out of blind fear I guess but that's not going to happen
User avatar #462 to #461 - jokeface (03/14/2013) [-]
I'm sure they did have those attitudes before the Bible was written, but what I'm saying is, the authors that wrote those things in the Bible only wrote them because God told them to. It doesn't matter what their personal feelings were, even if they agreed with them. That wasn't their motive. And if you admit that you would worship God out of blind fear then how can you judge us for doing the same?
User avatar #500 to #462 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
I wouldn't say it was blind fear why Christians worship God, but there is barely any evidence for God. What I'm saying is do you think it's a coincidence that a benevolent and just God had the same attitudes as the homophobic slave owners of thousands of years ago? If he is real then those homophobic slave owners were perfect and should carry on ******* slaves. However it is really obvious that it was those people who wrote the book so they could justify having sex and beating their slaves among other things
User avatar #505 to #500 - jokeface (03/24/2013) [-]
God never said we should have slaves, and neither did the Bible. The most we're told about slaves is that if you are a slave, you should be kind and obedient to your master, because violent rebellion would be sinful. That's a commandment for the slave, not the slave owner.
#506 to #505 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
just ignore the Old Testament why don't you
When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property. (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)
I would argue religion is slavery as shown in this picture
User avatar #507 to #506 - jokeface (03/24/2013) [-]
Mosaic Law only applied to specific groups of Israelites at the time they were given. They became overruled when Jesus died.

And that picture is beautiful. I'm not even kidding. I'm inspired by it.
User avatar #508 to #507 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
stock·holm syn·drome
Noun
Feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor.
regardless of whether you follow it or not it is written in the bible and supposedly said by your God, my point still stands. Also the New Testament never says that slavery is wrong it says slaves should be good so it is on the side of the slave masters
User avatar #509 to #508 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
Yea, there's a lot of names that make it sound bad, but the fact is that we're perfectly adjusted and functional, so there's nothing wrong with having faith. Submission to God has no negative impacts on a person's life. All it does is ensure our place in heaven after we die.
User avatar #511 to #509 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
it had a bad impact on my life, I used to cry because I thought millions of people will be or are burning in hell, I find it quite bizarre that no body else seems to care. I used to feel guilty for doing normal things like fapping. Stockholm syndrome originated when hostages defended their captor. Their reasoning was that he was good because he didn't kill or beat them and they loved him because he didn't abuse them physically, this is very similar to religion.
User avatar #515 to #511 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
I don't know what you mean by "nobody else seems to care." As Christians we care a great deal about the dangers of hell and naturally we aim to save as many people as possible from it. As for fapping, the Bible doesn't actually say anything about it. A lot of people like to reference some quote about it being better for your seed to fall into the belly of a whore than on the ground, but that's never mentioned in the Bible. As for the Stockholm Syndrome, I understand the connection your making, but the difference is that in that situation the kidnapper has done something bad by kidnapping the person. God's done nothing wrong to us. He's only done good and perfect things. He's not a villain, He's a hero.
#516 to #515 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
did you just skip the entire old testament? just the simple fact that you believe he will burn me alive for eternity should be enough to say he is a cunt Jesus ******* Christ
User avatar #521 to #516 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
Why does that make Him a cunt? He's a just God. Everything He does is perfect. All human beings deserve to burn for eternity because we all have wickedness in our hearts. But He has offered us salvation in spite of that, and that makes Him benevolent.
#529 to #521 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
so when I burn alive it is justice? you ass hole! you need to get therapy for your severe Stockholm syndrome. It is like Jesus is your abusive boyfriend and he has told you that you are a piece of **** and worthless and disgusting but if you love him you are good. It is the same tactics abusive partners use to manipulate and control people
User avatar #530 to #529 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
You keep saying that, but I don't get what you think I should do about it. How is it helpful for you to inform me of this similarity?
User avatar #531 to #530 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
I just want you to realise common tactics religions use to control people and that your God isn't a cool dude he is a controlling dictator. come on man if someone sends people to burn and be tortured for eternity and you think they're perfect something is wrong with you
User avatar #510 to #509 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
"There's nothing wrong with faith."

Sure, but it goes against the scientific nature of humans.

Our society exists on the structure of scientific discoveries, which is the exact opposite of faith. Faith is "idunoo lol, but i believe in it" while science takes a more reasonable approach forming extremely good hypothesis', testing them, making sure everything fits right.

I'm not saying your belief is completely wrong, I'm just saying it has absolutely no value to society in our era..
User avatar #523 to #510 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
I'm not saying the Bible doesn't have graphic and frightening things in it, because it does. I'm saying that the things we're supposed to be doing (covered thoroughly in the New Testament) are all good. Most of the violence and objectionable stuff is in the Old Testament, but we're not supposed to be doing that stuff.
User avatar #524 to #523 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
The new testament is still quite graphic, not to mention God in the old testament was a pretty huge dick, as well. He was extremely EXTREMELY malevolent then.
User avatar #525 to #524 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
No, He was extremely just back then.
User avatar #526 to #525 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
You're either a troll, or a really moronic human. Guessing both.
User avatar #527 to #526 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
Neither. God gave us very simple commandments, and we continually choose to disobey Him. Why would we deserve His love or grace? We don't. It's a gift. The most amazing gift we could ever hope for. That makes Him benevolent.
User avatar #528 to #527 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
lol
User avatar #512 to #510 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
I didn't say it was in line with scientific nature, I just said it only has positive consequences.
User avatar #513 to #512 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
Considering I was never truly apart of this conversation...What positive aspects other than some sort of denialistic stuff?
User avatar #514 to #513 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
It grants us access to heaven, which gives us hope and peace of mind until we die. Also the Bible is full of good morals and lessons on how to be a better person.
User avatar #517 to #514 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
1. To a place that you don't know exists, okay..
2. I said without denialsm..
3. lol, no.
User avatar #520 to #517 - jokeface (03/25/2013) [-]
1. I trust the testimonials of all the people who claim to have seen heaven when they had near-death experiences.
2. What denialism? I'm not denying anything.
3. No what? What are you referring to?
User avatar #522 to #520 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
1. Near-death experiences have easily been explained, not to mention people in those times had no scientific knowledge. That's why the Greeks thought earthquakes were caused by a guy shaking his head..
2. Not explaining, too much trouble.
3. The bible has tons of immoral stuff in it. Now, you can easily ******** your way through it and ignore the fact it's got a ton of disgusting stuff in it and claim all it's goodness even though I could ******* do it to just about any piece of literature..
#459 to #458 - say (03/13/2013) [-]
Imma christian, and I say just be a good person and serve your brothers (be a nice guy) whenever you have the option to be a dick instead, do what's right and you're good.

Also you gotta remember, the book was written by a bunch of old guys 2000+ years ago. they were wise, very, very, wise, but they lived in a time period where certain things that should be acceptable today weren't back then due to man made culture and beliefs, not god based, like being gay.
#501 to #459 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
but why did your God agree with the people who wrote the book?
#545 to #501 - say (09/04/2013) [-]
who ever said he did?
User avatar #460 to #459 - jokeface (03/13/2013) [-]
I agree with loving your brother and refraining from being a dick, yes. That's something Jesus said was very important. But He said loving Him was just as important, if not more so.

And also, remember that those men were directly inspired by God. He put the words in their hearts and commanded them to write them down. Aside form the outdated Mosaic Law, there weren't really any commandments that lost their relevance. The only one I can think of is the one about women teaching. I researched that one and yes that one was relevant to both the current time period as well as the current place Paul was was speaking to. For reference, I invite you to go to this link:
http://godswordtowomen.org/fees.htm
...and Ctrl+F the phrase: "Scripture is Finally Explained". Those couple paragraphs give a very clear and insightful meaning of the verse.
User avatar #434 to #433 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
Jesus told one man to sell everything he had to follow Him. He wasn't saying every human should sell everything they own. And nowhere in the Bible are we commanded to kill homosexuals. All it says is that they shall be put to death. It doesn't say we are the ones who should put them to death. It means God will kill their souls. And we know this is the case because Jesus said not to kill anyone, and killing the gays would contradict this. So death of the spirit is the only possible way to interpret it.
User avatar #435 to #434 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
yes, killing the gays contradicts it, there are loads of contradictions in the bible, it says to kill loads of different people, I think we have had this conversation before it never says anything about the soul your just making **** up it also says that their blood shall be upon them but if God was taking their soul there would be no blood. He said a rich man won't enter heaven and he says on a number of occasions to sell your stuff and give to the poor, did you watch the video?
User avatar #437 to #435 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
Okay, I watched it. I'll concede to the thing about selling your possessions, but I still don't think He meant literally. Remember when He went into the temple and got angry at the people who were buying and selling there, and He started flipping tables and **** ? I think if He really wanted us to literally sell all our possessions, then He would be flipping tables every place He went. He'd always be scrutinizing people for owning things. No, what I think He means is to not let the possessions become more important than your loyalty to Him. That is, don't sell them from your ownership, but rather sell them from your heart. Let go of them spiritually, so that they don't prevent you from following Him.

The other part of the video I'll address is the thing about abolishing the old laws. Let me break it down for you:

Jesus said "I have not come to abolish [the old laws] but to fulfill them." What He means is that His arrival on Earth does not cancel or nullify the laws. They're still in place even though He has arrived, and because he is the Son of God, only He can fulfill them, because man is imperfect and can never fulfill the law. However, He goes on to say that nothing about the laws will change "until all is accomplished." What do you think He's referring to? I'll give you a hint: What did He come to Earth to do besides fulfill the law? He came to die. And right before He breathed His last breath, His last words were: "It is finished." That was it. That was Him declaring that the old law was obsolete and the new law would begin.

Then later in Galatians, the Apostle Paul write about how violation of the law no longer condemns us because Christ died to sanctify us in spite of sin: "[We] know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified...I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"
User avatar #438 to #437 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
but God still told people to commit mass genocides and kill loads of innocent people, he's a cunt
User avatar #439 to #438 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
I really don't care what He said to do in the Old Testament. We don't worship Him because we agree with Him. We worship Him because He is the only one who can save us from hell. And that's infinitely more important than anything that happens on Earth.
User avatar #441 to #439 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
wouldn't you go to hell just for saying/thinking that? the thought police are on you now
User avatar #442 to #441 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
No, because that's exactly what Jesus told us to think. Every time He told us to have faith in Him, He said it was because only through Him would we enter heaven.
User avatar #443 to #442 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
he didn't say "ignore My Dad he's a dick" though
User avatar #444 to #443 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
No, but He did say that we weren't bound by the laws His dad had previously set.
#445 to #444 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
this reminds me of this, the way I see it the Christians wanted to separate themselves from the Jews so that's why they had Jesus saying these things, you still believe Gid is an asshole though right?
User avatar #446 to #445 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
I never believed God was an asshole. And the Christians didn't want to separate themselves from the Jews. The first Christians were Jews themselves. They just wanted everyone to worship Jesus with them. Read Galatians 2. It sheds some light on that issue.
User avatar #448 to #446 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
most Jews don't believe Jesus was a prophet also I think it was like 98% of jews just thought he was a hippie
User avatar #450 to #448 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
I know that Jews and Christians are very different now, but I'm saying when Christianity first began, that wasn't as much the case. Again, the first Christians were Jews.
User avatar #452 to #450 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
I saw a documentary about it, I think they wanted to make it clear that they were different from the Jews so that's why they had certain elements, don't you think it's a coincidence that your God had the same attitudes towards thing like homosexuality and women as the people who wrote the bible?
User avatar #454 to #452 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
I don't understand. Why would it be a coincidence?
User avatar #455 to #454 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
exactly, if an omniscient and benevolent God wrote it why would he have the same attitudes as 2000 year old dessert dwellers
User avatar #447 to #446 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
this in the belief that your God is going to burn me alive, if someone was going to burn you alive I wouldn't love them I would hate them
User avatar #449 to #447 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
Well that's a shame.
User avatar #451 to #449 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
it isn't a shame it is sane, why would anyone believe another human deserves to go to hell? even Hitler only deserves to go there for a day or two and then he can go back to sleep
#457 to #451 - anonymous (03/13/2013) [-]
for the love of God, stop being a faggot. You're not even listening to anything he's saying.
User avatar #453 to #451 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
Everyone deserves eternity in hell because everyone has turned away from God. It doesn't matter what's "sane" by your standards. God made a decision. There's no questioning it, no challenging it, no arguing it. We follow Him or we go to hell. That's it. There's nothing to discuss. Just decide if you prefer heaven or hell. It's simple.
User avatar #456 to #453 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
no it's grotesque and dictatorial he is not benevolent or just he is the most evil character in all of history, you know I don't believe it is true
User avatar #440 to #439 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
out of fear, like how they worship Kim Jong Un in North Korea
User avatar #436 to #435 - jokeface (03/12/2013) [-]
I'll watch it later, I'm on the phone right now. But anyway, I know there are parts of the Bible where it says to kill people but those parts are in the Mosaic Law and don't apply anymore. I can provide sources explaining why.
#428 to #427 - anonymous (03/11/2013) [-]
oh shut up troll
User avatar #429 to #428 - thebritishguy (03/11/2013) [-]
no anon I am not even trolling
#387 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
I might become a Buddhist, I don't know I have been reading a book on it and it seems pretty cool, but I won't believe in re incarnation. Pastafarianism was fun for a while but I seem to be losing faith in a carbohydrate based deity...I can't feel his noodley appendages holding me down anymore R'Amen
User avatar #388 to #387 - jokeface (03/04/2013) [-]
Buddhism is an admirable philosophy but it deceives you about the afterlife and the true God. It would be good to apply some of its principles to a Christian lifestyle (such as letting go of desire, being nonviolent, etc.) but any belief that does not focus on Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior is wrong and will lead to suffering.
#393 to #388 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
like the belief in Jesus has not caused suffering, Buddhism has no God you don't worship anyone but some cultures have there own separate Gods which they include into Buddhism. The statement that believing in any other religion will cause suffering is frankly wrong and nothing more than an idea supported by your opinion.
User avatar #394 to #393 - jokeface (03/05/2013) [-]
I wasn't talking about suffering in this life. I was referring to hell.
#398 to #394 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
all these people will go to hell because they were born into the "wrong" families, your God is an ass
User avatar #400 to #398 - jokeface (03/05/2013) [-]
No, they'll go to hell because we are asses for depriving them of the truth. It's our job to save them.
User avatar #401 to #400 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
you don't know or even have any evidence what you say is the truth, if you were born in India you would be saying the same thing about there God, if you were born in Afghanistan you would be saying the same thing about Allah, religion isn't innate it is geographic
User avatar #404 to #401 - jokeface (03/05/2013) [-]
We have evidence but apparently it's not good enough for you.
User avatar #406 to #404 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
no, the reasoning you use to explain God and the bible isn't good enough (hows your girlfriend btw?)
User avatar #409 to #406 - jokeface (03/05/2013) [-]
Things are hard right now. She couldn't make it up to visit as scheduled, and then two days later her father passed away. So it's tough.
User avatar #410 to #409 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
hmmmmmm have you heard of the show cat fish? maybe she is a he, have you spoken to...her..on webcam?
User avatar #412 to #410 - jokeface (03/05/2013) [-]
I've heard of the show but I haven't watched it. However I did see the movie so I know what it's about. Coincidentally, the main guy in that movie looks so much like me it's eerie. And no, we haven't webcammed, but we've spoken on the phone so I at least know she's a girl. She also has videos of herself on Facebook, so I can match the voice to the face in the pictures.
User avatar #414 to #412 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
the guy in the film looks pretty cool, maybe you could say to hold up a piece of paper with your name on it and take a photo to be sure, it seems coincidental these kind of things happening together
User avatar #415 to #414 - jokeface (03/05/2013) [-]
Nah, my IRL identity and Jokeface must remain separate. I like the anonymity.
User avatar #417 to #415 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
well you could just say any word, it would be just as valid, if they took the pictures and videos from a model or from another profile I doubt they would be able to do it
#405 to #404 - thebritishguy has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #370 - ragnarfag (03/01/2013) [-]
Since we waited like 10h by now, what is your ''severed arm analogy''?
User avatar #371 to #370 - jokeface (03/02/2013) [-]
I just got back to my computer and answered on the board. But to reiterate:

Suppose a person donates their arm to science. The arm is connected to a machine that simulates a heart, pumping clean blood through the arm to keep the tissue alive. Then suppose someone damages the arm in such away that the tissue dies. A bunch of living, human tissue. So is this person guilty of murder?
User avatar #386 to #371 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
a murder is the taking away of a human life, not human cells
User avatar #389 to #386 - jokeface (03/04/2013) [-]
Exactly. And what is an non-cognizant embryo if not just a collection of cells? Until it's aware, it may be "living" tissue but it's not "alive"
User avatar #392 to #389 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
yeah, your right, did you see that post which said "if abortion is murder, are blowjobs cannibalism?"
User avatar #395 to #392 - jokeface (03/05/2013) [-]
Exactly. It's absurd.
User avatar #364 - whtkid ONLINE (03/01/2013) [-]
Good luck on the sex!!
User avatar #365 to #364 - jokeface (03/01/2013) [-]
Actually I'm waiting until marriage, but thank you for the sentiment. :)
User avatar #363 - OpticalIllusion (03/01/2013) [-]
Best of luck with your net girlfriend, hope you get some righteous sex.
User avatar #366 to #363 - jokeface (03/01/2013) [-]
As I said to Whtkid, we're waiting until marriage. But thank you. :)
User avatar #372 to #366 - OpticalIllusion (03/02/2013) [-]
Whatever floats your boat.

I hope all is going well?
User avatar #376 to #372 - jokeface (03/02/2013) [-]
So far so good. She gets on her flight in about 12 hours.
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